Hello everyone! First of all, I would like to say that I have been granted permission by the original author or rather, superrayman95 on Archive of Our Own granted everyone permission to upload this crackfic elsewhere. Since I have done their other parody fic, I figured why not stumble upon it again and show everyone the beauty that is the bizarre Chili's Saga, or rather, its reboot!
Anyways, I should probably add a disclaimer for those who aren't necessarily into crack fanfiction. Since this is a crackfic, expect characters to be well, complete crack versions of themselves for comedic value.
And oddly enough, I managed to guess which villain is behind this mess via a line in the story! So congrats on me I guess.
Chapter 1: Backstory™
After wrapping up the World of Light, the smashers decided to relax for the time being along with their guests. Since Hades had an excuse to reside within the mansion and bug Pit since he was featured as a spirit, he decided to form a club called the Awesome Villain Squad! He invited such cool villains like Bowser, Ganondorf, Ridley, King K Rool, Dark Samus, to even Sephiroth. Attendance wasn't mandatory as Hades even extended invitations to all villains, even former ones.
However, there was one deemed unworthy, one who Hades thought to be a complete nuisance and a mediocre bad guy overall with the stupidest motivation for villainy ever. Little did the Lord of the Underworld know, this stinky bastard decided to wreak havoc in a form nobody expected.
The birth of a deadly virus!
If no one wanted to invite him to their club, then they WILL suffer the consequences because this man is that much of an insufferable dick.
When word of this virus got out, everyone gasped. It was a serious thing and it did not help that some people didn't take it seriously, thus only making matters much worse.
"Lady Palutena," Pit said, "who would do such a thing?"
"I don't know Pit," she replied, "but all the thing I know is whoever made this virus is a piece of shit."
Pit gasped. he did not expect Palutena to swear as she always told him swearing was not allowed, especially for angels his age. After all, he was a minor along with some of the other smashers in the mansion.
"Language Lady Palutena," he corrected her. "Anyhow, at least delivery apps exist, right?"
Palutena nodded. "As long as people are generous and always tip the drivers, we shall be okay."
Little did he know, said asshole decided to take over all delivery headquarters to prevent them from living. All thanks to not being invited into a stupid club. Thanks jackass.