I Own Nothing
AN: I wondered while watching this episode if Owen would have been up and if he had what might been said. So I wrote it myself.
Summary: Owen is still up when TK comes home after the bar fight and they have a heart to heart.
Title: You Are Going To Find Love
Owen heard the door open looking up to see TK walking in the door. He had been slightly worried, but seeing his son's face he was even more worried. He'd gotten the message on the counter not to wait up. Though when he'd woken up and it was two and TK still hadn't been home he was trying not to think the worst.
"I didn't think I was going to have to worry about you here. You promised that you weren't going to go down this road again." Owen said taking hold of TK's face looking at it better.
"I'm not drunk or high. I was defending myself. It's not like I took the first swing." TK said.
He'd hoped that his dad wasn't going to be up. He could have found a way to hide it from him. He did have access to what his dad used. He'd done it before when he'd gotten into a fight and hadn't wanted him to know. He felt a little better at the moment, like a part of his soul didn't feel like it was being crushed. He'd talked to Carlos at the station. He'd told him what was wrong, more than he'd actually told his therapist.
"I know you though, even if you didn't take the first swing you probably made the guy take a swing." Owen sighed. He wanted to say they weren't supposed to lie to each other, but he was keeping his cancer from TK. He couldn't bring his self to guilt him into it if he wasn't talking either. "That's going to look like hell in the morning. You know where the concealer is at. I don't want the call that you are in the hospital because you got into a fight and the guy had a knife or gun."
"I'm sorry, I'm just wanting to feel something besides this empty feeling. Everything's grey and I would usual turn to what I did before." TK said looking down. "Even with the therapist and AA I'm struggling. I want back what he stole. He said I wasn't good enough. That I couldn't satisfy anyone enough to want to even think about marrying me. I was a good fuck, that's it. He had fun, but he never loved me. I just want back the last eight months of my life. I loved him, dad. Now, I can't even trust what I do feel. I don't want to feel like a piece of shattered glass anymore. You saw that he wasn't good enough for me, but I couldn't see it. I never have been good at relationships, but this is worse. He took away the six years I had been sober. I wanted to do anything not to feel that pain."
Owen wrapped his arms around his son holding him close. He wanted to put a boot so far up Alex's ass no one could remove it. He didn't let go letting TK let out the pain. He kept his hold tight as he dared. He felt TK holding him just as tight. He hadn't wanted TK to pull back so he hadn't told him what he had really thought of Alex. TK had known most of it, but he had wanted him to be happy. He wished he had tried harder to get him to see that Alex wasn't the right guy. Eight months wasn't enough time to know someone enough to marry them. He just didn't want TK to pull away and a wedge be driven between them because of it.
"I promise you, one day you're going to find someone that's going to love all of you. Their not going to care if you're a firefighter or a shrimp boat captain. They won't care about how much you struggle at times because they'll be supporting you. They'll love you. I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm here, you know that. Even if it's two in the morning and you feel like you're slipping I'm here." Owen said.
"I get sea sick, so I think I'll stick to being a firefighter for now." TK laughed. "Thanks dad. There was someone, but I think I scared him off. I just can't be with anyone right now. I can't put my heart into another relationship. I don't know how to trust it anymore."
He thought about Carlos, wishing that he could have met him sooner. He really did like him and damn he was good in bed. He was better than Alex had ever been and he'd actually gotten off without being touched. No one had ever accomplished that, but he didn't think he could go there. His heart was still in a million pieces. He wanted to though maybe they could be friends. He had listened at the station without judging him. He sighed letting go of his dad drying his face off being careful not to push down too much on his eye.
"You won't know if you don't try. Maybe he'll call or text you. If he does don't shut him down. Maybe let him in, talking still works you know." Owen replied.
"I already talked. He was the cop at the accident scene the other night. He was the one that arrested me at the bar too. Though he let me go because the other guys wouldn't talk abou it. We talked." He said. "I told him about New York, I didn't tell him I about died, but I think he got the picture. If he ever wants to talk to me again I won't ghost him. I'm going to go to bed, I'm tired and just want to go to sleep."
"Okay, just know that you're worth something. I love you, your mom loves you. What he said doesn't matter because you are going to find someone who loves you. Just takes time." Owen said giving his son another hug before he let him go.
"Love you too dad." TK responded walking off to his room. He was exhausted and two emotionally infused conversations had warn him out.
~THE END~
~THE END~