Hermione and The Deathly Holes
The words sunk in her deeply.
"Feline Anal Expansion"
Hermione thought that one day she'd muster up the courage to tell Ron how she felt. She thought he'd have the courage to tell her finally, that he loved her. Now it was impossible. Now she was alone. It had been a few weeks since she found out.
There was a particular spot by the bridge where she sat to reflect. It's where she was when discovered the cruel reality, and it was where she was when she watched his funeral. Mrs. Weasley insisted on a viking ritual for him. The fire was red because it wasn't magical, and vikings were wrong about everything. At least that's what wizards believed. They were right.
"Oh Ron.." She said while wiping away her pale, bony face of tears.
She knew her tears were for nothing. Ron wasn't there anymore. He was kicking it in that weird train station wizard afterlife that was in the last movie, but I didn't know if it was in the book or not because books are for losers.
"If only I could have you back. Why couldn't I have been that cat?!" She cried into the open space.
"I could help with that."
A dark, mysterious voice pierced through her eardrums, and her unimpressive wizard loins.
"Who is that?!" She shouted.
She sprung up, and desperately looked around. A shadow danced elegantly around her. Her view slowly became engulfed by the zooming darkness, until all of a sudden it took shape. A man emerged from the dark silhouette. Hermione's heart sank.
"Voldemort." She whispered with contempt.
"Wazzup? You seem surprised." Voldemort smiled.
"Harry killed you. How are you alive?" She said, increasingly worried.
Hermione began to shake. Voldemort shrugged.
"Deathly Hallows, or horucrux. Whatever." He replied.
Hermione's fists clenched.
"Why are you here? To taunt me?!" She screamed at him.
Voldemort flinched at how loud she was. His ears hurt from her shrill, completely unwarranted screams.
"No no no." Voldemort cooed. "I heard you were going through some stuff, so I thought you'd need a shoulder to cry on."
Hermione looked at him like he was insane. It should be mentioned that the entire time Voldemort was trying his best to look mysterious and ethereal. He swayed his body like he was a wave, and slowly moved in a circle around her. This didn't bother her, but her appetite for sex did.
"Well...I guess we could go to Hogsmeade." She said with a sniffle.
"Cool! I'll drive. Give me a second." Voldemort excitedly offered.
She waited a few minutes for him to fly by on his broom, but he didn't arrive.
"Maybe he was just fooling around." She thought to herself.
Then she heard a car horn honk from across the bridge.
Voldemort pulled up in his 2003 Toyota YarisTM. It was a dull gray, and the vehicle interior smelled of peppermint.
"Hop in." Voldemort said while popping the glove compartment open to pull out a pair of shades that he proceeded to put on.
Hermione took her seat in the front, and she was thoroughly impressed. The interior evoked a refined cabin ambiance. The seat felt crisp and comfortable on her bum.
"You want some tunes?" Voldemort asked.
"Sure."
"Umm...flip through the CDs, and pick something out. Whatever's fine." Voldmort said as he popped open the center console.
Hermione looked through his CDs; Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Weird Sisters, the Hobgoblins, Coldplay. They were all pretty underwhelming and mediocre choices. Until she came across one CD that caught her fancy. Montell Jordan! She was so excited that she pulled it out, and quickly popped that fucker in.
Voldemort started nodding enthusiastically to the beat.
"Yeah! Now THIS is how we do it!" He said with a wink, but not looking at Hermione when he did it.
Hermione laughed so hard that milk shot out of her nose. It got all over the windshield. Voldemort got flustered with how she could do that without drinking anything, so he turned on the wipers. He realized shortly after that the wipers couldn't do anything because it was inside the car. They looked at each other, and laughed together.
The two made it to Hogsmeade. Voldemort bought Hermione some butterbeer. She said he didn't have to because it was a super specific menu item that the baristas usually didn't know how to make, but he insisted. It took 15 minutes. He asked Hermione to wait in the car for a moment because he forgot to grab a straw.
"Are you normally incompetent, or did you choose today to be a total fuck up?" Voldemort questioned the Starbucks© Barista.
"I'm sorry?" She asked.
"I've been coming to this store for 15 years, and I've never been treated so poorly. You've lost my business as a customer. I'm going to the Dunkin next time!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.
The barista was crying heavily as he walked out.
"Everything OK?" Hermione asked nervously.
"It's cool." Voldemort took a deep breath. "Just felt silly forgetting a straw is all." He said with a laugh.
The tension was broken.
Nighttime had fallen. Hermione was warmed up on the inside from the drink and on the outside from the high tech heating system that was in Voldemort's Toyota YarisTM.
"I had a really great time, Voldemort."
"Please, call me Tom."
"OK, Tom." She giggled.
Hermione felt a real connection with Tom. She looked into his eyes as he stared back. Then she dove straight down for his dick. She opened her mouth to receive his wand. It was pale like he was. It also had a nose where the seam of his scrotum should have been. It was a magnificent 32 CM.
"Oh! I smell your perfume now!" He said in ecstasy. "It smells like lily pads and house elves."
"ank ou" She said with her mouth more than full.
Voldemort was so torqued at this point. He couldn't take much more, and he really didn't want to stain the interior of his mom's car. She didn't even know that he borrowed it.
"Let's take this outside." He said winking.
Again, Hermione didn't even see it because she was staring down a bramble of Voldepubes. She nodded regardless.
The two stepped out, and Voldemort stripped her down. She was taut and creamy. Her pasty, pale body glowed in the moonlight. Voldemort exhaled heavily in excitement as he began to move in circles while waving his body around like he had done earlier. Hermione felt like a hungry hungry hippo as she tried to swallow the marble that was his wand as he circled her.
The suction was too great, Voldemort was at his limits.
"Oh no. Here it comes!" He shouted. "AVADA CUMDAVRA!" He shouted.
A tiny, insignificant spurt of cum hit Hermione's left A cup tit.
"Oh. That's it?" She said with disappointment.
Suddenly, Voldemort wasn't special anymore. She didn't feel that connection. In fact, She thought he was a real loser. Voldemort realized he was losing her.
"Hold on! I've got an idea!" He said while whipping out the Elderwand.
"Wasn't that destroyed?" She asked.
"Like she gives a fuck about continuity." Voldemort retorted. "Anyway, get ready for a protein shake!"
Hermione nodded as she proceeded suck yet again.
"Engorgio!" Voldemort shouted.
His balls began to grow. Soon they took the size of soccer balls. Hermione didn't notice because she was so busy sucking.
"Engorgio!" He shouted again.
Now they were like two bean bag chairs. He was sitting on his balls. Hermione was laying on them at this point. Voldemort was feeling an intense strain on his body, but he knew he was about to nut.
"AVADA" He began.
Hermione unlocked her esophagus in anticipation for a fresh load.
"KUMDAVRA!" He shouted as he came.
It took 15 minutes. Hermione swallowed every drop. It was like she drank 45 large chocolate milkshakes, but if the shakes were very acidic and salty. She felt herself balloon up. Her clothes stretched to their limits much like when Harry tried to extend his wand by tying twine around bludgers to his member in the hopes they would stretch it out.
"This was going to require some exercise tomorrow." She thought.
She didn't realize what was happening to Tom. He had an orgasm for 15 minutes. It was so intense that his brain lost function by the end. He collapsed on his deflated testicles. It was like he belly flopped naked onto a bounce castle that wasn't blown up.
Hermione knew he was dead, but didn't grieve his loss because he was a bad person who killed quite a few people.
She went back to the Gryffindor dormitory. She passed Harry as she awkwardly rushed up the stairs. It took more energy than it usually did.
"Damn!" Harry exclaimed as the door shut. "Hermione got THICC."