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Ich mache das aus freiem Willen
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It was bizarre, the change three simple years could make. Tired green eyes stared at her shape held in a crystalline prison. The girl within had barely aged a day since she had gone into her slumbering state. Her serene expression made him wonder if he had ever known the true person within. He once thought he did. There had been a time when he would have called Annie Leonhardt a good friend and a trusted ally, perhaps even more. They had trained together, her beating hand-to-hand combat skills into him with every flip, kick, and throw. She taught him skills he hadn't realized would be vital through bruises and sprains.
But that had been before Trost, before the unraveling of the lies he had been born believing. That was during the halcyon days, before Eren Jaeger realized he was as much a monster as she was.
"It's been a while, Annie," said Eren, voice raspy. He ran a hand back through his hair, drawing long bangs away from his face. It would get longer still, he already knew. "I doubt you can hear me, but Armin has been coming down here for years to talk through his problems so I thought I'd give it a try. Floch was able to clear everyone out, including that Hitch girl. I'm surprised she remained so attached to you…but then she isn't the only one."
He looked down at his hands, envisioning the blood that would soon coat them. Fingers clenched into fists, but the envisioned stains didn't fade. "I understand why you killed all of those Scouts during the Expedition…and in Stohess. It took me longer than I thought to understand you, Annie, but I do now. It was harder to understand you compared to Reiner and Bertholdt…but I get it. You wanted to go home, to be with your father, even if you never allowed anyone to know."
Eren sighed, the weight of past memories placed upon his shoulders. "Perhaps I'm a hypocrite, hating the three of you even though we shared a goal, one that was almost identical. But…that was never true, when I get to the heart of it. The death, the killing…it was never about returning to Shiganshina. Not truly."
His green eyes came back up to meet Annie's face, as though any moment might end with her awakening. "It was always about freedom. I always wanted to join the Survey Corps because I wished to be free. Free to live my life as I truly wish. Free to reject the life of cattle so many were seemingly comfortable living.
"But that's now only a dream that I can no longer naively hold onto. Not without continuing to shed blood, in a manner akin to what I promised when we were cadets. When I swore I would kill every Titan."
Eren scanned her face, remembering that moment of denied realization in the Forest of Giant Trees, and how he had rejected the truth afterwards. He knew now why he had couldn't accept that Annie was the Female Titan, despite the evidence contrary. Somewhere in his heart, she remained dearly precious to him. He missed those cadet days, when all that seemed to exist between them was simple camaraderie.
He quashed the longing he felt for Annie, and buried it away.
"But then, I never imagined my enemies could be anyone other than the Titans." He chuckled to himself, as though he were a fool. "I wonder how you would have handled me and Armin and everyone else learning about Marley and the world beyond the shores of our simple island. You always had a better understanding of what was happening in the world than I did, coming from Liberio. The same as my father, and my half-brother, Zeke.
"But that won't save everyone. I've seen what the people beyond Paradis believe, how they view us, and if my people are to be free, to live long lives…"
Eren hesitated, staring at her frozen face. The darkness sitting within his heart crept up to his lips.
"I'm going to Liberio, Annie, with the hope that my visions of the future are wrong. That I don't have to become the monster I fear.
"Because if I'm not…" Eren sighed, leaning forward so his forehead touched the crystal. His voice came as a gentle whisper. "If I'm not, then I'm going to kill everyone who lives beyond the sea, anyone who doesn't live here on Paradis. It's…it's the only way to ensure my people…my loved ones…are protected. Are able to live long, free lives.
"They'll certainly hate me, but I can live and even die with that. I made this choice of my own free will. I won't ask anyone to forgive me, for what I'm going to do isn't forgivable. I'll be a demon until my name is forgotten. But…but this story was started by others and I won't allow anyone else to define how it ends.
"I'm sorry, Annie. I can only hope you never see what I will become."
The door behind him swung open. Eren looked away from the crystal, emotions dying from his face, and watched as Floch Forster descended into the basement cell. His fellow survivor of the Retaking of Shiganshina frowned at the crystal.
"It's time," he stated, ignoring where Eren was. "Yelena has your ship ready to depart."
"Ah," Eren replied, turning away from what remained of the woman he could have loved. "Then it is time for me to leave."