Prompt: Write about someone trying to put the past behind them
Word Count: 1,110
Like a Dog with a Bone
Sirius padded alongside Harry in his Animagus form, using his heightened senses to keep a lookout as they moved through King's Cross Station. Fortunately, Albus believed a shaggy, black dog was inconspicuous enough to accompany the group of Order members as they escorted the kids returning to Hogwarts. And thank Merlin he did, otherwise Sirius thought he would've gone spare locked up in Grimmauld Place.
His snout drifted towards the scent of chocolate chip cookies as their group passed a mother handing out the baked goods to her children. He glanced over his shoulder to find Remus's gaze focused on the cookies just like he knew he would. He let out a gruff laugh.
His old pal Moony tore his eyes away from the chocolate chip treats and glared.
It reminded Sirius of their time growing up. Stealing any sweets that contained chocolate from a werewolf was always a dangerous, but amusing challenge.
He shook his head. Focus. He couldn't afford to let anything happen. The Order doubted that the Death Eaters would try anything at the train station considering that Pureblood students would be there too, but they could never be too careful. Especially after that Dementor had somehow found Harry.
Godric, I can't let anything happen to him, Sirius thought as he continued to trail his godson. It was his fault that the boy was an orphan in the first place. They never should've switched Secret Keepers. He never should've opened his stupid mouth.
He fought the urge to bite on Harry's sleeve and yank the kid towards the exit so they could Apparate as far away as possible. Letting the young wizard go off on his own was torture. Sirius knew Hogwarts was probably the safest place for Harry, but he wouldn't be able to follow his godson there. What if something were to happen and he wasn't there?
It would be just like it was with James and Lily. He'd been late getting to Godric's Hollow that night, and if he'd been there, maybe two of his closest friends wouldn't be dead. He couldn't make the same mistake with Harry.
His hackles raised as they approached the barrier to Platform 9 3/4. Merlin, I don't want to do this. I don't want him to go. He shifted from paw to paw, waiting to cross through with Harry.
"C'mon, Snuffles," his godson said, gently threading his fingers through the fluff at the back of the Animagus's neck.
Obediently, Sirius followed, knowing there really wasn't anything he could do. The Headmaster had assured him that Harry would be closely guarded while at Hogwarts, and he would just have to trust in that.
His stomach turned queasy. Trust wasn't something he came by easily. Not after what happened to Lily and James, and the fact that one of their dearest friends had betrayed them. It didn't help that last school year, Harry and all the other kids had been taught by a Death Eater in disguise all year long and Albus hadn't a clue.
His eyes darted around the platform, watching every bit of movement he could.
He leaned into Harry's leg as the boy gave his goodbyes, desperately wishing that he could wrap his arms around his godson. It would be months until he saw him again. Though the rhythmic pets from Harry felt nice, they did nothing to assuage his fear.
What if he needs me? His anxiety started to ramp up, resulting in his furry body trembling, but he was able to hold back the whine that threatened to slip loose.
Harry bent down to his eye-level. "I'll miss you too, Snuffles." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Don't forget, I have that two-way mirror you gave me." The kid flashed that heart-breaking mischievous smile of his and stood.
Sirius's chest was tight. He had lost count of the amount of times that he had glanced at Harry and mistook him for James. Especially in his Animagus form, it was difficult to keep his mind from conjuring up memories of the Marauders rough-housing in the Shrieking Shack or chasing each other around in the forest surrounding Potter Manor.
But he and Remus had already had that talk. He couldn't replace James with Harry, no matter how much he longed for his friend.
His godson reached down to give his fur one last ruffle before turning to board the Hogwarts Express.
Watching the kids get on the train reminded Sirius that Harry was lucky enough to have several close friends he could count on should trouble arise.
He has plenty of friends. You need to be his guardian, he told himself. That was another discussion he and Remus had over a year ago. Harry needed a responsible parental figure, and that fell to Sirius. He'd swear up and down that he was trying. He truly was. It was just difficult to be a good role model when his temper would get the better of him, or his disdain for Snape came out, and it certainly didn't help that he was stuck in the hell-hole of his childhood home with his mother's screeching portrait.
And on top of all that were his lingering issues from Azkaban.
Sirius shook his whole body, ridding himself of the dark cloud that had begun to weigh down on him. He sat on his haunches and watched the Hogwarts Express start to pull out of the station.
Remus joined his side and dropped a hand to the top of the Animagus's head. "I know it hurts seeing him go, Pads."
He let out a whine that sounded pitiful even to his own ears, shifting closer to Moony. He couldn't bear it if they made the same mistakes. Harry was all they had left of James and Lily.
The werewolf pat his head again. "You have to remember that it's not the same, Sirius," Remus said, revealing his thoughts to be along the same lines, though his voice sounded tired, as if he'd been repeating the words to himself endlessly.
There was no reason for the two of them to stand there, staring out at the Hogwarts Express as it grew smaller, like the pair of poor sods they were. He nudged Remus's hand and faced the barrier to cross back over to the Muggle side of King's Cross.
"What do you say, Pads, should we head home a have a drink?"
He let out a woof. I could definitely use some firewhisky. If tonight was anything like last year when the kids all left, he and Moony were bound to spend the night rehashing fond memories.