Manda's Note: First of all before anything else I'd like to throw a trigger warning on this. Sexual assault is a prominent factor within this story. I'm not looking to offend anyone or dig into any wounds so if this is something that triggers you then I ask you to kindly leave this right now. Don't read any further. I mean absolutely no disrespect and I really do hope that you're working through your trauma.

With that out of the way the second but of business that I'd like to address is that this story is not set in the 80s. It's set current day (so it's partly AU. the events of the Upside Down have still taken place in the past. It's the trauma that's brought them all together). Again, if this is an issue please don't read further.

With that said, our party is roughly 20 when this takes place? Well, parts of it. There will be chapters that are flashbacks. They will all being labeled accordingly with timing and where they fall in our timeline.

Again, if you're reading this and you enjoy it, drop me a comment, pull out the things you like most, whatever you remember from it, where you think it's going. That kind of feedback is something I thrive on. It's highly appreciated. I love writing this version of Max and it's sort of become something of my own.

With that being said, thanks for checking it out! A appreciate you getting through my bullshit here.

Christmas - Current time.

"Ain't that one of the boys you used to get on your knees for?" the urge to tell Neil to fuck himself was on the tip of her tongue. In fact, as the words were muttered out she felt her teeth clench against the inside harder than she meant. The taste of copper filled her mouth slowly.

The distraction was almost welcoming.

Turning her head to the side she spat a small amount of spit and blood into the grass, quickly watching it absorbed into the dry ground. "Maxine" Susan's look was one of disapproval. As if the woman could actually be disappointed in the actions of a daughter that she hardly knew. It was funny who a person turned into when their parents checked out of the whole parenting game.

There was regret swirling in the pit of her stomach. Why exactly had curiosity gotten the best of her and dragged her back to Hawkins after nearly four years of playing hooky? She'd been better off in California -at least that was what she'd lied to herself on the plane. That California had been her savior.

The truth was there was nothing that could have saved her and that was a fact that Max had come to terms with years ago. She'd been broken long before the events of senior year had brought themselves into the fold too. She couldn't even blame what had happened then for the mess that she was. Instead, what she could do was adjust the saint Christopher pendant that hung against her breast bone and tuck on a fake cheery smile, "sorry mom" the word tasted like acid.

Curiously, Max finally looked over in the direction Neil had been talking in. It was only then that a smile finally cracked through her stone facade. Sure enough, facing one of the Christmas trees on the lot was the familiar silhouette she recognized even now. She took her cue to walk away from her mother and stepfather and over to the man inspecting the christmas tree. "Shitbag, you're the only one who would scrutinize if the tree was even a half diameter off. Buy it and suck it the fuck up." Max mouthed off, pulling her jean jacket closer around her body as the couple pivoted in their spots.

His jaw was tighter than it had been, his stern face resembling his father's. Yet the moment his eyes fell on her the facade cracked. A smile spread across cold features, "well well well, if it isn't my favorite slut. What blew the trailer trash back out this way?" Lisa's hand was dropped, Max was dished a questioning look, permission for a beat, before his arms were wrapping around her in a bone crushing hug.

He was the first to step back, looking her up and down… inspecting. "You look good Max." it was high praise coming from the man who dished insults like they were candy. "You… got my text, didn't you?" how exactly he'd stalked her publicist enough to give out the information was beyond her, but nonetheless she was almost grateful for it.

Claudia being sick had been the last thing she'd expected to hear from him. Well, sick would have been one thing. Dying was another completely. Max hesitated a moment, her fingers ripping into the corner of her v-neck and etching a line against the star tattoo carved into her collarbone. "...yeah" she hadn't settled with it herself yet. The information was more than she could swallow.

"How is he?" Lucas didn't even have to answer her for her to know that she'd just asked a loaded question. Yet for some reason the syllables had crawled out of her throat and demanded to be said. Silently she cursed herself for it. "I know… it's a stupid question."

Max felt herself growing mildly over conscious of the fact that Lisa's eyes were on her. Sure, Lucas and Lisa had been together since high school. It didn't mean that Lisa tolerated her anymore than just for Lucas's sake. She'd always been bothered by the way Max was one of the boys where she had to sit things out more often than not. No one seemed to understand that a girl could be included in the boy's plans. That was the sexist thing about life for you.

Lucas cleared his throat, pulling her attention from her thoughts as he nudged his head to the side making her look. "Doctor Johnson is Claudia's doctor. He and his wife have owned this tree farm since we were kids. He helps out a couple times a week so that they didn't have to hire an additional hand."

She should have seen him.

His hair was longer, his shoulders broader, his smile still wrapped in his features even if they didn't quite reach his eyes the way they used to. Had she actually been more alert of her surroundings there wasn't a way she wouldn't have seen him the moment they'd stepped onto the tree lot.

It took all of her strength not to run over to him, to wrap herself up in him and apologize for her leaving, for not being there when he needed her ...for all of it.

"I think the best medicine possible for him is standing right in front of me now." Lucas offered and she looked back at him with a forced smile. His words probably weren't correct. Not with the way that she hadn't been there, the way that she'd just taken off.

Sure, they were extenuating circumstances that had made her crack - and he'd known about majority of them. But it was still the fact that she'd left to go through it on her own when she could have stayed and gotten help with it all.

The past was the past now. The only thing Max could actually do was to offer him her being there in the moment ...if she could find her guts to go over and tell him that she was home. That whole notion seemed almost as impossible as the events that had taken place at the end of senior year.

"Max, go."