The WHiDAAA Cast reacts to Reddit
Warden: Alright guys, that wraps up Season 1. So, what do ya'll wanna do now?
Emilia: I remember that at the beginning of this 'Season 1', Subaru came from another world that was full of 'technology', so I was wondering what you could do with it.
Petra: Does his world have any fun games?
Felix: Are they able to heal people like we do? I can't see any mana-less people being able to heal as good me, and with all the metias they have and make, I wouldn't be surprised if they could almost heal as good as me. I highly dou-
Warden: *sigh if annoyance
Garfiel, Otto, Felt, Al: FELIX, SHUT THE HELL UP
...
Warden: Now that the cat... thing is quiet, I'd be lying if I said that people could heal almost as good as you, and the truth is, almost all "healers" are called doctors, and almost all of them can do a damn better job than you. Yes, Petra, Subaru's world has a lot of fun games, and good music. In fact, their games and music make up a good small size of the economy. But not all the games and music are like anything you all are used too.
Garfiel, Otto and Anastasia all stare at the screen in excitement, one of which fueled only by the potential profit of otherworldly knowledge and concepts.
Warden: I guess we could start with smartphones.
Everyone but Anastasia instantly gets a flat, hand sized box covered with glass.
Beatrice: So, these are the 'smartphones' my contractor told me about, I suppose.
Everyone stares at her, a sea of mixed faces with confusion and excitement.
Anastasia can be seen tugging at Julius' sleeve.
Warden: OH NO YOU LITTLE PURPLE HEADED LOLI WHORE, FORGET ABOUT IT, YOU AIN'T GETTIN' ONE!
Anastasia reeled back in shock of the booming voice, quickly sitting back down, but noticed she could see the glass covered side of the thing in her knight's hand.
Warden: These 'things' are called smartphones. They can be used as instant messengers and voice communication with as many people as you want, a light source, guard summoners, and a source of entertainment.
Reinhart: They can instantly call for guards?
Warden: Yes, but not the guards you all're used too. In Subaru's world, guards as you know it is an old term that stopped being used about 300 years before he was born. Guards were quickly replaced by Law Enforcement Agencies, members of which called Law Enforcement Officers. Their job is to investigate crimes within their jurisdiction to catch the criminals and maintain normalcy. 'Guard' is now used as an unofficial title for someone who actively watches or protects a place, and is an official job title for some places in various countries.
Rem: Does Subaru-kun have a 'smartphone' like this?
Warden: Not exactly, he had a flip-phone, an early version of the smartphone, but still had most of the same functions, to a lesser degree. Now, before we turn them on, I need to do some rewiring to your brains, because showing the translation of 3 writing systems from another in writing would be a pain in the ass, so I'll just boot up the English writing system to you to save some time, since most of the writing in Subaru's world is in English.
Immediately, everyone is struck by a sudden pain that felt like a pinky sized Huma whizzed through their skulls. Reinhardt and Al were the only ones that didn't feel the pain, but the red headed knight felt that 'something' had been pushed into his head.
Warden: Since that's done, I should let you know that normally, these things have a limited time use, but can be refilled, so I reworked these to have infinite power. Now, with the glass side pointed at your face, feel along the right side for an indentation, and press it.
Everyone did as instructed, only to be met by a bright grey light, but a sudden crunch came from Reinhardt's direction, who began to pour his Divine Protections into the smartphone to repair it, eventually succeeding.
Warden: And now they're indestructible. Another note, in the wake of a certain individual with a greed for money that could rival Echidna's greed for knowledge, you will be limited to a certain list of functions determined by me. The 1st of which is one of the most popular source of entertainment for the teenagers to adults, Reddit.
Roswall shot his glance up towards the screen at the mention of his teacher.
Warden: Wait, you creepy ass clown pedo, you'll be able to feed whatever weird fetishes you have for your corpse bride in a bit.
Everyone fell silent in concern and confusion at the sound of this, Roswall still with that smug grin smeared on his face. A loud boisterous voice broke the standstill.
Garfiel: Awesome, I'm always hearin' stories 'bout Boss' meti- I mean phone. 'Bout it freezin' a momen' in time f'rever.
Emilia's face began to shape uncomfortably at the sound of freezing for eternity, but began to see how engaged Rem and Petra were, so she followed suit.
Everyone noticed Petra was in the farthest corner of the room with Frederica at her side, phones in hand. She was met by a different glow than the rest of them, and she was staring at the screen, nodding silently, and started putting thick circular things connected by a flat wire into her ears. She sat there looking at the glass in delight and satisfaction as the screen emit a variety of colors.
Warden: Important things I forgot to mention. Not all of Earth's entertainment is exactly, fit for all ages. So, Petra will be stuck to kids' entertainment, and can view the stuff the rest of you'll be seeing only at Frederica's discretion. And technically speaking, your world does, doesn't, could've, and has always existed, due to the BS that is pataphysics and quantum physics saying that your world in this given local reality is as plausible as a reality where there is a toilet full of green furred fire breathing squirrels that eat plaster. Essentially, you all and Subaru live in different worlds that co-exist in the same universe, but to my perspective, you are all machinations of a fictional story called Re: Starting Life in Another World from Zero, otherwise known as Re: Zero, which is a manga and novel series, which are types of books, that got remade and retold as the feature series you all watched, which we call, anime. Since you all technically didn't exist before the year 2014, a new universe had to be created so you, Lugunica, and the rest of your world and its history had always existed. There are so many anime and realities where the events of the anime and their manga are real, that the multiverse is essentially infinite.
Everyone looked out at the screen in fear, shock, and realization of what they were just told.
The Oni Maids had their hands on their lowered heads, Rem taking it the worst.
Rem: So Subaru-kun and I were just imaginary beings created to entertain people!? He had to suffer all those horrible deaths by me and the other things because someone wanted it to be?
Reinhardt sat there on his chair with a worried look on his face, staring into the nothing, trying to comprehend the latest information.
Wilhelm: This whole time, I could've been loving my dear grandson?
Felt: So I had to suffer in the slums for all my 15 years just because someone WROTE ABOUT IT?!
Crusch: Screen-sama, with the context you provided, does that mean that someone or something somewhere could be monitoring everything that's happening here?
Warden: Most likely, probably reading it, as all of this is just an extension of the fan made story called Watching Him Die Again and Again.
Ram: Whoever you are, reading or watching this unfold. What kind of pervert would you be to get entertained or aroused by our and Barasu's excessive suffering?
Warden: Ram, calm down, I myself might not even real. At least Petra didn't have to hear all this, so by the time she is able to hear you again, I want you all to not freak-out.
Everyone still covered by the ocean of realization and self-awareness silently agreed.
Warden: Let's get back to what I made those phones for. For those that had theirs turn off, push that button again, then use your preferred finger to swipe on the glass in any direction.
Everyone obeyed, still in horror that they might not be even the real versions of themselves. Each were met by a bright white screen with an orange outline making the white silhouette of a smiling head with a strange antenna. They didn't even bother asking what it even was, as they knew Subaru's home was a strange place.
Warden: Now at the top of the glass screen, there is a grey bar, tap it and type in the characters for R-E, then there should be a choice titled Re_Zero.
The Cast obeyed, and clicked on the Re_Zero choice, noticing that there were small panels of foreign text they could now understand, and next to them were pictures. They were all met by a sudden change in the screen's appearance. They saw the screen had revealed pictures and text separated by box and panel.
Warden: Welcome to the Re: Zero portion of Reddit. Feel free to do what you will here and the rest of Reddit.
They all indulged in the wonders Subaru's world had to offer.
Emilia had begun to blush and squeal in embarrassment as when she tapped on the 1st box in the light grey panel with her right index finger, she saw a picture of her, in an apron while staring upwards at her while cooking. Upon a closer look, she saw that the her in the picture was wearing nothing. She quickly noticed the space between the apron and her body, and partially realized Subaru always acted so weird around her. 'It's a natural male reaction to look away from a woman to avoid problems," She remembered and understood what Puck had said.
Rem found a picture divided into 2 panels. The top panel read, "Happy Birthday Subaru." A sad man that looked like her Hero stood next to an equally sad woman, and she presumed that these people were her Subaru-kun's parents. In the panel at the bottom, a hand laid a plate of cake with a lit candle on top in front of a small picture of a smiling Subaru. 'We love you' the text read.
Rem began to break into tears, realizing that he had been forcefully torn from his world, and more importantly, his still loving family.
Julius scrolled past all the panels till he found one labeled, 'Julius art' He, of course, clicked on it, and found a lavishly drawn picture of him in his knight uniform surrounded by spirits in the day, extending his hand out to a particular red orb. He smiled at this, grateful that someone took notice of his elegance and drew a near lifelike drawing of him.
Roswall backed out of it, went to the search bar, and accidentally clicked C instead of E. He was met with random options, but 2 had raised an eyebrow. 'Church of Echidna' and 'Cult of Echidna.' Wanting to learn more about the false followers of his teacher, he clicked on the Cult option, and was met by a box.
NSFW WARNING
ARE YOU 18 YEARS OR OLDER?
YES NO
He selected yes and couldn't believe what he had seen next. One of the best and possibly one of the worst things appeared before his eyes. All the pictures were of his great Teacher, the Witch of Greed, Echidna.
Some were pictures of her wearing clothes similar to Subaru's, some of her sitting at a table in a field, and some with Subaru sitting across from her. Then he found an especially thought-provoking picture. It was of Echidna, showing all of her... exposed feminine beauty to the world, the next, another exposed depiction of her, this time, she was laying on a bed, on her side.
Roswall had made it his current mission to burn as many of these pictures into his very soul, hoping no one would notice him repeatedly shifting his legs.
Otto found a picture of him, Subaru, and Garfiel, all smiling, standing around a table, with mugs of what he presumed was alcohol. He couldn't help but smile at this heartwarming scene, and eventually came across a drawing of him screaming, his face full of courage, arm extended, and a swarm of bugs moving in the direction his hand pointed. He began to feel prideful about his Divine Blessing of Soul Translation.
Warden: I only got a couple minutes till I have to pay a little more attention to Misses Shadow Slut, and when that happens, I won't be able to maintain the infinite battery. There's a table to the left with instructions and a basket for when your phones warn you of low battery.
Screaming could be heard accompanying the banging of metal, a girl's voice cried out, "Let me in Let me in Let me in, I need to see him, I love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love him."
Warden: Shut the hell up you Edge Queen Simp, I WILL call in Reid, Flugel, Hoshin, and Vola. I'll give you a phone if you stop.
The banging and cries of requests stop, but a strange voice spoke.
"I'm Geoff Thew, and here is my take on why Re: Zero and its MC are fucking masterpieces"
Everyone but an occupied Roswall paid any attention to the voices and threats.
Frederica got the attention of Petra to show her an amazing picture of them in the Manor kitchen in their maid uniforms.
Petra: Screen-sama told me to use this Netflix thing, and I've been watching this presentation called 'Toradora'. It's about a boy with mean looking eyes like Subaru, and he becomes a friend of a short girl who's mean to him in a friendly way, like Beatrice-sama is to him. I think Subaru would refer to her as a 'Tsundere Loli'
Frederica smiled, glad that Petra was blissfully unaware of the truth of their existence.
Crusch saw a near lifelike drawing of her and Felix, back-to-back, sword and magic, respectively, in hand, surrounded by a horde of white furred bunnies with glowing red eyes and horns. She felt pride in knowing that at some point, she was a well-respected warrior before her some-what successful encounter with The White Whale.
Reinhardt, with his Divine Blessing of Item Mastery, blew through all the posts like he had experience. He stopped scrolling when he saw a post titled 'My best Reinhardt portrait so far'. When he clicked to investigate, he beheld a near lifelike picture of him in the Council Room in the Capital City, kneeling and bowing on one knee before his Mistress Felt, with her giving him a hug.
Warden: Sorry guys, that's all the infinity I can give, the self-proclaimed Duchess of Darkness and Seeker of her immortal love has gotten to the ahem ... stuff. So, stay in the theater, go get snacks, discover snacks, explore Subaru's world by phone, go to your rooms, or anything you can do with the space and phone with an infinite budget and access to the internet. Like I said earlier, the chargers are over by the wall, to the left to let those know that didn't see. I'll see you all back when I can buy us some more time from the Lonely Shadow of an emo bitch so we can do something like react to Season 2 or explore YouTube and the rest of Subaru's world.
Thank you all those who responded to this on Reddit, it gave me a boost of confidence and made my day. This will be tuning into a series, and this is not my 1st ever FF. I have a couple longer ones I'm working on, some of them absurd. I'll probably be running my FFs on Reddit first so you all could proof-read, give some pointers, and even give some suggestions.
My Reddit is u/TheLeadReaper (I know, the name is a bit dumb)