Prologue
Author's note: Contrary to my other fanfiction works, this piece will have no other author's notes or disclaimers until its completion. That is what the disclaimer/author's note below serves as. Also gosh I am so freaking sorry about being so late uploading it. I spent a majority of my time figuring out the art for the cover, and I had lots of family stuff going on. I hope you all enjoy this prologue! Or it at least really brings out some emotion. I sobbed the whole time writing this no cap.
Location: Seelos; AT-TE
Characters: Rex, Wolffe, Gregor; ARC Trooper Fives, Anakin Skywalker, Commander Fox (flashbacks)
Summary: Years after the events preceding Order 66, a battle-hardened soldier sleeps restlessly on the small cot in his quarters. He feels the whisper of a brother's death day by day, blaming himself for his lack of actions that could have prevented the lives taken from that galaxy when the deed was done.
In a haze of bright light, I am climbing down and out of a Republic shuttle, trying not to trip over my kama or my companion's seat below mine.
"These are the Coordinates Kix gave us. Let's hope Fives is inside."
Frustrated, I let out an exasperated sigh. "Eh, I hope he knows what he's doing."
The hangar is dark and empty, and we glance at each other. Shady place Fives. Now I really know this is meant to go off the record. I hold my twin de-cees at the ready, and Skywalker ignites his lightsaber.
Minus the small blue-hued illumination from the General's weapon, there are some storage crates stacked in unorganized patterns throughout the entrance.
Old thoughts spring to mind, and then my head is abuzz by inner turmoil, relenting far past the amount I had only ever allowed myself as a Captain in the GAR.
Fives, you absolute di'kut, it's just like you with these chases. I stumble a little, over a grate in the steel floor, and curse inwardly.
"Fives? Fives- we're here." We start stalking the room, navigating through the maze.
I mean this has been a wild mynock chase! I don't even know where to start with you right now.
First I let you go to Kamino to be Tup's emotional support, Next, you're deemed inflicted with a virus that I had no kriffing idea about- My eyes keep scanning the walls of boxes for the only clone I would consider to, one day, be the death of me. -and now you've got the entirety of the Coruscant Guard after you for attacking the Chancellor?
Our stalk leads us through a smaller walkway, crowded by more boxes, more pipes on the walls. The warehouse looks larger and suddenly the room opens to the main distribution area.
"Come on out. We just want to talk." Skywalker is beginning to negotiate, waving his lightsaber slowly to illuminate the right side of the room.
Left side. Right side.
It's the only light now and there only ever seems to be more crates. My jaw clenches as a headache starts to form. How does the General manage to see with this light? Might as well be at kriffing 79s by the way my eyes are adjusting so much.
No this is about Fives.
I need to listen to him.
We need to figure this out.
"General Skywalker."
Kriff that's him. We both turn to look in the direction of the all-too-familiar voice and our pace slows immediately.
"Thank you- Thank you for trusting me." His voice reverberates ominously around the steel walls.
Thank us?
No- thank the General. I'm only here because I feel like I'm the only one that he trusts right now, and the General complied.
"Have you come without troops?"
"We have." The lightsaber flashes down and Skywalker holds it with both hands. Now we've taken our pivotal defense stances. Come on Fives, my brow furrows- come out, please.
Back to back now. "Put down your weapons then!" He sounds so distressed.
"I don't think so Fives."
"Please sir!"
I glance at the General and our shoulders are touching as we keep circling.
"I'm unarmed."
The General nods at me, and he deactivates his weapon as I lower my own.
Suddenly my vision morphs as if I've been transported at the snap of a finger, and in the same white haze blurs my vision. Fives is yelling in front of what I can manage as a filmy, colorless screen. I look up briefly- We're trapped in the screen. Why am I trapped in a force field Fives?!
I can't hear what he's saying and my heart starts racing. The General is yelling back.
I can only make out my brother's anguished face as he almost whispers, "It's all… in here!" and he gestures to his recently shaved head.
Oh force. My heart races faster and that bright light comes up again brighter than ever.
"Fives!" I'm crying out, "Fives!"
A blaster hole in his chest is what I see first and I'm yelling, there are more clones in the room and Fives is collapsing. As if by some freak force of nature, my consciousness is ripped from my body and I watch from some other spot in the warehouse.
"Help!" Rex is yelling. I am yelling.
Fives is coughing, barely gasping. I am supporting his body, knelt to the floor.
"Rex - this is bigger than - any of us."
He coughs again and his eyes struggle to remain focused.
"Anything I could have imagined."
Voices swirl in my head and I can feel my lungs close up.
The conversation speeds past and I can't remember my own response to him. I can only think now that he is gone. He can't be gone!
Next to my ear, his breath a whisper across the side of my harrowed cheekbone, I see his face at the angle above my skull.
"Fives? Stay with me Fives!" I'm shaking him. Come on Fives please!
"The mission - the nightmares….
They're finally -
over…." His body goes limp and his eyes roll back into his head.
NOOO!
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!
Rex?
Your mind was altered to do this when you were very young.
No- no no no NO! FIVES! COME BACK TO ME FIVES!
"Find him! Fives! Find Fives!"
"Rex! Rex wake up!"
Ahsoka? How is she here?
"Rex it's me, Wolffe! Commander Tano isn't here! You need to WAKE UP!"
Full consciousness.
"Ah- " My neck aches and I rub it embarrassingly, scanning the room. "Wolffe?"
"Yes, brother- I'm here." Patting on my back. Kriff how long was I sleeping?
"Rex, you were... having another nightmare." Wolffe's glass eye looked as though it was going to bore a hole in my head.
"Force I didn't even know."
He sighed gruffly, "You were yelling pretty loud there too. At the end of it."
"Were you up here long?"
"Only long enough to check out why the Ay-Tee was shaking so much. I came up and your arms were thrashing around-tangled up in the knots you keep over there-" he gestured to the knot strap I made with Ahsoka while we were on the run "-so I tried to cut it loose. It didn't get out so I had to get you awake before your arm would lose circulation. Why the kriff do you keep that thing still anyway?"
So that's why my heart was beating so hard and I couldn't breathe.
But his answer still didn't explain why he came up to check on me. The nightmares have been happening almost nightly now. So being the emotionless kark that he is, it shouldn't bother him enough to see if I'm fine.
"What was I saying this time?" I asked, afraid of the answer. The nightmare was still fresh on my mind.
"Eh, I don't know. When I was shaking you awake, you yelled something about Fives. Oh!--" He smacked his forehead in realization, light from one of the shafts above my cot illuminating the scar on his face and a white streak of beard coming in.
"Rex, these have got to stop. You need to stop blaming yourself for Fives' death. No number of your brothers, your men could you count yourself responsible for. We've both learned that the hard way, and you'd think you would figure it out after 10 years!" He threw his hands up in frustration and I snort.
"Yeah right Wolffe! Like you don't have these nightmares too!" Force, he's so frustrating! I put my head in my hands for a second, ...and then I know what else to say to get him off my back.
"I know, and you know that you're hiding that from me- and even yourself!- so it doesn't set Gregor off. Have you seen him these days? We need to get him to a professional. NOT ME."
He looks like he's about to strangle me once I say this. But the sarcasm subsides from a nonexistent, future response. Crossing his arms over his chest, he says, "I think you really need to find a way to talk to Comman-"
I shake my head immediately, cutting him off, "No! I have no way to reach her!" Kriff he really pulled that card.
"Then dammit Rex stop saying 'It should have been me!' in your sleep or I'll know you haven't forgiven yourself." He aggressively nudges my shoulder and sits on my cot beside me. "She's the only one who can get you to snap out of it. When was the last time she contacted us?"
Forever ago, was what I wanted to say, but it wasn't entirely the truth. "Ah man I don't know vod it feels like ages ago. I can't get her to respond on the hololine she set up last time, and I've checked unacclaimed numbers on every minor planet and moon in the surrounding system from that location. It's never going to work anyway, and you know it." I hate fighting you like this Wolffe. Get the kriff off my back and we can focus on making sure Gregor doesn't jump into the Joopa's mouth next hunt.
"Whatever vod'ika, just know that I think she'd be able to help all of us. She knew Fives well too ya know." His final sting of a comment made him smile- a rarity these days -and I had no choice but to laugh at that choice of endearment. And stating of the obvious.
"Of course I know that she knew Fives you di'kut. I was in the same legion! Why you gotta be so thick sometimes." Playful jaw punch.
After a minute or two of just silence, staring at our own hands and sitting hunched in almost identical positions, I hear Gregor's voice calling up.
"Hey vode!" A cheerful head peeps up through the vent. "Let's eat something! I'm starved!"
"Yeah right, " Wolffe laughs, "Its O- two- hundred and pitch black out. Need a hand with your 'project' ?" I roll my eyes.
"Oh, uh… er…" He scratches the back of his head and laughs nervously, "Yes, my.. project?"
"Don't sweat it vod I'll come down. Just giving Rex his nightly pep talk- ow!" I punch him in the shoulder and pull him into a headlock before he can finish. Laughing, I finally let him go after he proclaimed me the best in the GAR, a tradition I'll never fail to forget, and after I release him, he slaps me on the neck. Gregor has to hold to the bar to keep from falling after laughing so hard.
"Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted-" scary glare "-You know you don't have to lie, Gregor. Let's go fix up your droid -Yes I know you smuggled it so stop hiding."
I watch my brothers return down the ladder and listen for a second to their quips and bashes as the trinkets and gadgets start intermixing with the noise.
Sighing, I pull out my com. Will she answer? I have 3 more systems to try. Somewhere in Togoria, a moon by Lantilles, a hyperspace way that passes through Azure.
Alright Togoria. Please work. She was there last time. I punch in the digits and search down for unacclaimed.
6 - 2 2 3 4 - 1 5
Ten minutes go by. Then thirty.
Nothing.
I try a different number, on a Lantilles moon.
Still nothing.
Okay, let's see about whatever Azure is.
5 - 6 5 6 9 - 2 1
Thirty more minutes. My bones feel achy from nervous leg bouncing and my head hurts from all the static.
Ah, come on Ahsoka I need to talk. Please pick up.
About to give up, I notice the digits of one of the unacclaimed ʼdinates on Azure is ordered in a familiar way.
5 - 7 5 6 7 - 0 1
That's it.
-;~~~~~\/ call received \_
"Commander?"
"Hello Rex," A sassy, yet playful voice sounds out of the darkness. "I see you've found me."
Tears spring to my eyes as the image of my loyal commander and friend appears on the holocom.
"Hey Commander." I can barely keep myself from smiling. She answered!
"I know you'd only call if you were really having a hard time. Also stop calling me that- what the actual kriff, vod! Is it O three hundred where you are!?"
"Yes but I don't care. Comman- ah I mean, Ahsoka, Wolffe wanted me to ask you to help me deal with some things. Probably because you're all knowing Jedi to him."
She laughs and sits cross legged on the floor where she's at. "Alright, well, what's going on? Since you can't seem to get any sleep and I had to take a break from my mech work."
"Sorry. Erm...You see, I've been having these dreams- er, nightmares. Abou- about erm… fives."
Even through the holovid she looks at me knowingly. With understanding. All my fears are released and then suddenly everything starts spilling out all at once and I'm sobbing into my hands like the broken man I am. Only through some of the wracking shakes of my throat am I able to hear her talking to me.
It is hours later when I finally come to my senses. She and I have talked the whole time. She listened. She actually cares! The thought makes me feel tears sting again as we say "farewell", and "until another time." Please let me call again soon...
Maybe I could one day forgive myself.
.
3 Years Later
.
What would have happened?
The question, and the shellshock plagues my day to day life.
I'm a free man. No army to serve… but no purpose really either.
I believe in a new way of living. Comman- Ahsoka— Force I keep forgetting to call her that— showed me this way of life. Even in hers, and then eventually our days of hiding, she had a strength in her roots as a Jedi and she could still find peace.
Would the Jedi have been allowed to continue their lives if the deed wasn't done?
Ahsoka kept to her word and let me make contact with her once a month, even letting Gregor and Wolffe come on call every so often. The monthly lessons and practicing (along with Gregor's meds that the doctor prescribed him) has helped me to relinquish the nightmares, but the question still haunts me.
Kriff, we should have listened to him when we had the chance.
When he had the chance.
The events of the final hours of the ARC's life are still in my memory.
If only a belief in something higher than my twice aging self, could reverse the events of the past. We wouldn't be scavenging for our lives right now. No- if the General had acted on what fives had said we wouldn't be here.
If I didn't only give just a lousy report. That's what.
Stop it Rex, I mentally chide myself. You're a free man. You can't change the past. You can only control your future.
Time to get back on the grind.
"Rex? Ya comin vod?" Wolffe's sarcastic drone called through the shafts.
"Yeh Wolffe I'm comin."
It wasn't entirely bad though. Commande— Ahsoka, she saved at least me. She listened when even I couldn't.
Inhibitor.
More like a destroyer. Destroyer of everything.
All I have after today's adventure is to wait for night and see what interlaced memories and twisted versions of my past come up with together. Tomorrow she'll call again and maybe something new will happen to us vets.
"Rex! You gotta see this!" Now a lighter voiced Gregor is calling up to me too.
"Ah alright sorry vode I'm comin." I put the datapad down making sure the image of my four brothers saves again, and climb down the ladder to meet Gregor and Wolffe to see what's going on.
Where would I be now if I listened to Fives?
Who would he have become?
What would have happened?
.
.
Author's Note and DISCLAIMER:
This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Star Wars Universe, which is copyrighted by The Walt Disney Company, who owns Lucasfilm. All characters in this fanfiction are created, owned and Trademarked by Lucasfilm, and I do not claim any ownership over them or the Star Wars Universe. This story is for entertainment purposes only and is not part of the official story line, though the events will coincide almost exactly with events surrounding episodes 1, 2, 3, and 4 of season 6 in Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, nor for the gratitude I express below (haha).
To creative Writer, Director and Producer Dave Filoni and to Creator Mr. George Lucas, I am so grateful for their visions and execution of this television series, but more specifically this episode arc. I am in love with and am completely influenced by the performance of Dee Bradley Baker, who voices every single clone in TCW and the Rebels Series. His performance in this episode arc as ARC Trooper Fives (one of my favorite clones!) is overwhelming, and is what inspired me to bring this POV fic to life at all. I am convinced my childhood would have been so different without Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and I think Baker really has brought around the best to the Star Wars story.