A/n: Hey so this a weird plant story I've been writing for the last couple of weeks. This is cross-posted on AO3 and Twitter. Let me know what you think. :)
Ochako is what scientists refer to as a part-time scavenger.
(Because sometimes sleep isn't enough of a supplement to slow onset starvation.)
Even with a full stomach she thinks the bowl of spicy smelling berries the Bakusquad (minus one Bakugou) is gathered around would have insisted upon a taste.
"What kind of berries are those?" she asks as she settles between a mildly intrigued Kyouka and a visibly vibrating Kirishima.
They are round, pretty small and tangerine colored.
Kaminari smirks at her and gestures grandly to the bowl they had set on the floor between them. "These are Bakuberries straight from the den of the beast."
"Huh?" What does that even mean?
Kirishima laughs nervously. "Well, I went to get Katsuki, but he wasn't in his room, but the door was cracked and-
"I was with him and we peeked in his room and found Bakuberries!" Mina predictably exhibits none of the guilt painted on Kirishima's features.
"Why does he have a huge bowl of berries in his room?" Bakugou never really struck as the eat in his room type.
Mina shrugs. "Dunno. He had some weird plants too."
"Plants?" Ha. He probably yells at them to grow faster.
"But who cares?" Sero mimicked Kaminari's earlier gesture. "Let's eat our ill-gotten gains."
Ochako hesitates for a moment, but grabs a small handful of berries.
She hadn't eaten more than a granola bar since breakfast. (Besides Bakugou would likely unleash any potential anger on his friends.)
The berries are kind of spicy, but also sweet, she's never had a flavor like that before.
They're super good. It feels like they're satisfying an unknown and previously unfelt craving.
Oh, geez. If she doesn't watch herself, she'll eat the whole bowl.
"Gah! These are nasty! I'm gonna die." Kaminari actually spits his big mouthful of partially chewed berries on the floor.
Ew. Super ew. (But not enough to ruin her appetite.)
As she proceeds to munch on her new favorite snack, she sees Kirishima trying to wipe the taste off his tongue with his hand. Sero has slumped to his side and is moaning as he holds his stomach while his complexion turns that prevomit pale she's so well acquainted with.
"So bitter! My tongue is going numb."
Mina has her face pinched so tightly it looks painful.
Kyouka eyes the berry still resting on her palm and then the rest of the squad. "You know? I think I'm gonna pass."
"But they're so yummy!" She doesn't understand how none of them seem to like the berries.
(But that just means there's more for her.)
Yay!
Kaminari is staring at her like she's grown another head. "Those are literally the worst tasting things that's ever been in my mouth."
Sero wobbles a smirk onto his face, but even that small action seems to pain him. "Even worse than time you-"
"The. Worst. Thing!"
Mina is actually blinking away tears. "I still can't feel my tongue."
Kirishima is actually weeping into the top of his forearm. "I wish my tongue would give up. This is my karma for violating My Bro's trust."
Kyouka shakes her head. "Another point for caution. Ochako, girl, how many of those have you eaten."
Ochako pauses just as she's finished packing another glorious handful in her mouth. "Mmm?"
Kyouka just moved her arm widely to the varying levels of not well the Bakesquad were in. "I'm just worried; they might probably are poisonous."
Ochako shrugs before quickly chewing and swallowing her new favorite food. Did they make mochi in this flavor? "If they are, I will die happy and full."
Kaminari's eyes widen comically. "So not worth it!"
"Says you." She reaches for more only to find the bowl empty. "Aw, man." She licks the sticky orange nectar off her fingers.
"Uraraka-chan what are you?" Sero sounds miserable in a way she's rarely seen him.
"No longer hungry." Although if Bakugou has any more berries-
"The fuck are you fuckers doing?"
Bakugou actually seems relatively mellow, and mildly curious. His scowl is only slight.
(Must be almost his bedtime.)
Kaminari glares at Bakugou. "Dying. Those berries were vile, Dude."
Bakugou narrows his eyes. "What berries?"
"Well, Chako-chan ate 'em all, but the orange ones me and Ei found in your room." Mina was holding open her mouth apparently attempting to air the taste away.
"They were so good Bakugou-kun! Next time you have some, can you share with me?"
Bakugou's jaw fell open, but rather than yell he opted for gaping at her like a fish.
"Please?" Even Bakugou might occasionally respond to politeness.
(Maybe.)
"Uraraka-chan are you for real?" Kirishima stares at her wide eyed before directing his gaze to Bakugou. "Bro, like, I mega regret eating one of those, but why do you have those just sitting around."
His mouth snaps close, and growls. "I wasn't gonna eat them. I was waiting for the weather to warm up before I planted them."
Ochako tilts her head. "You weren't going to eat them?"
"Course not; that'd be weird."
Ochako isn't sure how it's weird to eat delicious berries.
"Did you really eat the whole bowl?"
"Yup. Would do so again."
"Huh." Oddly, he seems less angry and more...bashful. His neck and ears seem flushed.
Huh. His response is so weird, but.
"So will you share next time?"
All at once his absent arrogance flooded his face. "Maybe Uraraka. Definitely maybe."
He snatches up the bowl and saunters off.
"Girl! You truly have an iron stomach to want more of those!" Mina waves her arms dramatically in a way that looks less alarm and more interpretive dance.
"And questionable taste." Kaminari says in a haughty tone undermined by the orange staining his chin.
Ochako rolls her eyes at their dramatics. No way the berries were actually that bad for them.
They are so extra.
"You guys are silly! Anyway all those yummy berries are making me feel sleepy. See ya."
They all wave as she gets to her feet.
"If you wake up dead, we'll know why."
Seriously Kaminari is taking it a bit far.
She ends up going right to sleep.
She also does not wake up dead; in fact, she wakes up bursting with energy.
Those wimps can suck it; Bakuberries rock!
But aside from an occasional comment, life goes on.
Classes intensify. Training kicks up a notch. Internships start up again.
"You sure are thirsty, ribbet."
"Huh?" Ochako looks up from her ethics essay. Tsu has her head tilted in concern.
"You've literally drank two liters of water since we sat down to study."
She turns to Shouto. "Wha'? I have?" That seems like a lot. She's just been sipping at the extra large water bottles she'd taken to bringing everywhere.
Just large, constant sips.
"Ochako-kun it's a little concerning. Are you trying to save on food again; I noticed your lunch is small."
Ochako shrugs. "Not really. Nothing seems good." The small serving of stir fry Lunch Rush had prepared isn't really calling her.
The water on the other hand is satisfying like strawberry milkshakes on a summer afternoon.
Maybe they'd upped the filtration? The water had gotten oddly tasty.
"Yeah you're drinking almost as much water as Kacchan."
She snorts. Deku would measure even water consumption against Bakugou. "Does he drink a lot of water?"
"Kacchan has always been really thirsty. A couple times, in Kindergarten he drank from a puddle." His brows wrinkled. "Actually a lot of times."
She cackles. That's funny. "Hehe. Well, whatever. I think it'd be impossible to drink as him with quirk being like it is."
Bakugou probably sweats more than she could drink in a day.
Tsu frowns. "Well, maybe pace yourself, ribbet. Our hero practical is an hour away and Aizawa-sensei said it would take 3 hours."
"What does that have to do with drinking water?"
Oh, bless Shouto and his cluelessness. She smirks at him, but trains her eyes on Tenya. "She's just worried I'm going to have to piss at an inconvenient time."
"Ochako-kun!"
Hehe! Tenya can be so funny. Although Deku is twitching and muttering under his breath.
Ha.
"But don't worry Tsu. I'll be fine."
Honestly, she hardly has had to use the restroom all day.
Huh.
Has she even-
"If you say so."
"I do." She went to go drink more water only to find her bottle empty. "Oh man, I'm out of water."
She studiously ignores their looks as she getd up with her two empty bottles and barely touched stir fry.
Maybe she'll be hungry later.
(Maybe.)
She couldn't bear to waste food.
And being really thirsty isn't that big of a deal. It's not like she has diabetes.
(Shit! She's eats so many sweets. Probably too many. Maybe she does!)
She's being silly.
She's fine.
Well that's what she thinks.
Until she is casually eating dirt two days later.
To be clear, this is shoveling dirt from a flower bed directly into her mouth. Intentionally.
Well, at first, it is just 'cause she's curious.
(For some reason.)
It's just a little taste. A tiny sampling.
She's with the other girls on a picnic blanket Momo made and the soil in the flowerbed directly behind smells kinda yummy.
(Which is nice with the whole weirdly not finding most food appetizing thing.)
So she just casually reaches back like she's stretching and gets a pinch. It's not terribly hard to lick it up while the others are listening to Tooru's latest recounting of her search for invisible hair friendly conditioner.
But it tastes kinda, sorta, really good so she decides to get a little more and then more than a little and then it's just-
"Ochako-chan! What are you doing?!" Momo actually shrieks.
"Whaf?" She tries to act clueless, but muddy saliva is dribbling down her chin so.
"Oh my god, Girl! First the Bakuberries and now actual dirt. You have an invincible stomach."
She rushes to swallow only to see them all grimace at the action. But it isn't so bad. "I just thought it might hit the spot?"
Kyouka shakes her head. "Not valid considering you are not under the age of five."
She licks her lips. "But it's actually pretty good."
"That's it! We're going to Recovery Girl." Momo jumps to her feet and her face demands obedience.
Tsu nods. "Good idea, ribbet. Don't forget to mention how much water she's been drinking."
"Or the nasty Bakuberries she gorged on!" Mina adds vehemently.
Momo nods and basically drags her to the infirmary.
Recovery Girl has her sit and dismisses Momo.
"Alright, Dear. So tell me what's been happening."
"Nothings been happening." Everyone is just too sensitive. She's not getting in their grills about what they eat and drink.
Mina ate green olives.
(Now that's just weird.)
"Uraraka-chan, you have mud on your lips and staining your teeth."
Ochako sighs. "I kinda just ate some dirt."
Why did that have to sound so dumb?
(It makes sense on a quasi emotional level?)
Recovery Girl just nods. "On purpose?"
She nods and tries to pretend she isn't blushing. "On purpose."
"Why?"
She shrugs. "I dunno. I guess it smelled good."
"I see. Yaoyorozu-chan mentioned berries?"
"Bakugou-kun had really tasty berries in his room, but no one else liked them."
"Uraraka-chan I think you are displaying symptoms of pica. Sometimes that can arise from a nutrient deficiency. I'm going to have to take a supplemental vitamin. Also please refrain from eating dirt. If you go more than a day without a bowel movement please let me know. And regardless I want you to check back in with me next week."
Huh? A bowel movement. Speaking of those-
The older woman winces. "And please try your best not to eat dirt… or other strange things. If you need help, the school may be able to provide additional supports."
Ochako just nods. She's not sure what the big deal is. But Recovery Girl is the expert.
She is contemplating how she might be able to sneak a bite of good earthy goodness into her hectic schedule when Bakugou materializes in front of her.
"Oh! Hey Bakugou-kun!"
He sneers at her before shoving what looked to be a homemade bento into her hands.
"Huh?"
"Tch. I heard you were eating dirt, but that shit looks weird so here's some food."
"Uh, thank you, Bakugou-kun, but I-"
"Will fucking eat it right now."
She laughs nervously. Technically it's still lunchtime, so his unwarranted intensity aside, it is time to eat, but she doesn't relish pretending to enjoy his food in front of him.
He'd be able to tell and then he'd murder her.
"Uh, well, Bakugou-kun. I haven't really been that hungry."
His glare shifts to angry and incredulous.
"For food and."
He bares his teeth and growls.
"I could eat." Geez, only Bakugou would give someone food and then demand they eat it instantly.
Much to her surprise, and delight, the food is even more satisfying than the dirt, so she didn't have to fake her enjoyment or anything.
"This is so good, Bakugou-kun!"
"Of course, it fucking is."
"Thank you!"
"I'll bring you dinner too."
"Uh, but-"
"Eating dirt is considered strange Uraraka; see you later."
Huh. Funny how he didn't say eating dirt was strange.
Bakugou is strange.
Later as she is sitting with Deku, Tenya and Tsu for dinner he ambush-gives her a plate piled with food, but doesn't even stick around long enough to be thanked.
"Kacchan made you food?"
She shrugs. "He's concerned?" Although that wasn't quite the vibe she is picking up.
"Well, eating dirt is very concerning. Are you still wanting to…"
She beats at Tenya. "Not so much; Bakugou-kun's food is even tastier than dirt."
Shouto chuckles as he joins them. "High praise indeed."
She sticks her tongue out at him. "Hey the soil around the plum tree is really good."
Tsu frowns. "We were sitting near the apple trees."
"Whoops. Must have misspoke." Geez, why did everyone have to be so hyper critical if a girl just wants to taste dirt here and there.
(And everywhere.)
"So you didn't go out of your way to eat more dirt."
Ochako laughs. "It wasn't out of my way."
"Ochako why are you eating dirt?" Deku is looking way too perturbed.
(He's casually breaking like all his bones, multiple different times. He's the weird one.)
"It tastes good; you should try it."
"I have." He shudders. "You sound like Kacchan when we were kids. He was always shoving me into the ground to force the issue after I wouldn't eat the mud pies he made me."
"That was sweet of him." Ochako sighs. "I bet they were delicious."
"Well Kacchan seemed to think so."
Shouto is smiling widely. "This is hilarious. He drank from puddles and ate mud. Ha."
"Hey, that's not that bad." Honestly, the puddle thing seems kinda genius.
"Ochako-chan what did Recovery Girl say?"
"She gave me a multivitamin and told me not to eat dirt."
Tenya taps at the table worriedly. "That does not appear to be going well."
"I think it's a matter of prospective." Because dirt actually is pretty fucking good.
"Ochako-chan doesn't this concern you."
"Naw."
The next week is tense. Everyone, besides Bakugou, is very anti dirt consumption. (He actually sneaks her some with the meals he makes her.) They perseverate on how much water she is consuming.
She decides to be selective with what she reports to Recovery Girl.
She's fine. (It's probably not that big of a deal that she hardly ever uses the restroom.)
One day the sun comes out particularly bright and warm for early spring and she ends up spinning in slow circles as she walks through campus after class.
And the grass, it must be happy too because it's singing.
'sun, sun, sun, grow, happy, sun.'
'Yay. sun, sun, sun, happy.' She starts singing along, because the pure joy she hears is infectious.
'sun, sun, grow. sun, sun, happy.'
'Sun, sun, happy.' It's a simple melody, but it's so soothing. She activates her quirk, but not completely, just enough that she weighs barely anything. Where she is light enough to float on top of the grass. 'Sun, sun, grow.'
She dances with her eyes closed for a while lost in a gentle chorus of and the feel of the sunshine soaking into her.
'sun, sun, happy, sun, sun grown. sun, sun-'
'hurt, hurt, dark, sad, dark, sad.'
"Hey, Uraraka-chan. You look like you're having fun!"
Her eyes fly open to find Kaminari who'd called out to her and about half their class stand nearby in casual clothes.
'hurt, hurt, dark. sad, sad, dark.'
They're standing directly on top of the grass.
"Uh, well, you did look happy; what's with the murderous expression Uraraka-chan?"
'hurt, sad dark.'
She growls at them. "You monsters." She quickly activates her quirk on them and kicks them off the grass. "Stay off the fucking grass."
'yay, sun, yay. sun, happy, sun. yay, sun, yay.'
"What the hell? You sound just like Bakubro."
She eyes Kaminari with a snarl still resting on her lips.
Sero raises his hands placatingly. "He just means Bakubro is like super prickly about people cutting across the grass."
She crosses her arms, but makes no move closer to the sidewalk she'd tossed her friends. "Good. It's inconsiderate."
"There's nothing in the school's guidelines that-"
She snorts. "Not of the school you dummy, Tenya; it's inconsiderate of the grass."
Kyouka rolls her eyes. "Ochako it's just grass."
"Plants are people too, Kyouka."
Deku narrows his eyes at her. "But they really are not."
"That's racist."
Deku flinches. "Wah! No- n-no it's not! Plants aren't sentient Ochako. They-"
"Says you." It's pretty rude all things considered.
"And science." Shouto looks mild amused, but is casually brushing himself off.
Ochako pouts at them, but most of her classmates have already dispersed again, no longer drawn by whatever spectacle they'd imagined. Only Tsu, Deku and Shouto remain.
Can't a girl just sing with the grass outside her dorm in peace?
And that's when her ears pick up a new song.
Since the grass is mostly singing the same words, they overlap and run together like an ocean of sound. Not quite in unison, but harmonious.
But this song, it sounds not good. It has an edge of wrongness. But it's still too quiet to hear.
"Do you guys hear that?"
"Hear what, ribbet? The lawn mower?"
Ochako spins around to see a lawn mower slowly making its way down the field in an ominous zig-zag as it brutalizes thousands upon thousands of poor little grass blades which she was starting to be able to hear.
'ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. scared, hurt, scared. ah, aha, ah, ah, ah.'
"No! No, no, no, no, no!"
"Ochako are you okay?"
She turns to glare at Deku even as her shoulders tense as the symphony of terror grows louder. "Of course not, Deku! This is horrible!"
"What is?" Shouto points at the lawn torturer. "The lawn mower."
"The grass is screaming guys!"
'ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! scared, hurt, scared! ah, aha, ah, ah, ah!'
They all exchange a glance, but she can't stay there anymore. She throws herself to the sidewalk and starts sprints towards the dorm. She silently begs the grass for forgiveness as she leaves all those sweet voices to their cruel fate.
'AH, AH, AH! SCARED, SCARED, SCARED! HURT, HURT, H-'
Mercifully, the entry door cuts off the noise.
She's so distraught she huddles in her bed and just drinks water even as the sun sets and her room grows dark.
The growing dark makes her feel sleepy.
She starts as a loud, assertive knock rings from her door.
She contemplates ignoring it, but decides to just deal with whoever it is.
"Come in."
It is Bakugou and he has a list or itinerary in his hand. Which he shoves in her general direction, but when she fails to move he just awkwards lets it flutter to settle against her blanket pile.
"Here."
"What is it?"
"It's the lawn mowing schedule; so you can avoid that shit."
"Huh?"
He rolls his eyes. "Because it's fucking terrible."
She nods sadly. "It was. They were so happy."
"Fucking right? Why the shit do people think grass looks better short anyway?"
She lets out a watery giggle. "I dunno. Not me ever again."
"Damn straight." He shifts in what might be nervousness before holding a hand out to her. "Come with me."
"But-"
"Hurry."
Geez. Such a gentle boy he is.
"Well alright." Bakugou is grumpy, but he's not going to hurt her. She unfurls herself and grabs his still waiting one and he pulls her out of bed and onto her feet, before dragging from her room, down the stairs and out the dorm.
"Uh, isn't it past curfew?"
He shrugs. "Fuck 'em." He steers her to the edge of the grass and then releases her hand.
In the chill of the night she immediately misses his warmth.
'sad, sad, hurt, moon, sad.'
Her heart pricks as the grass is still singing so sorrowfully even hours later. The tempo is much slower and distressing irregular, but it feels heavy.
"I never knew."
Lawn maintenance is just too cruel.
"Yeah. Most everyone doesn't know."
She studies Bakugou as the moonlight spills onto his fair features. "But you did. How long have you known?"
"Since forever. I'm not like you."
She's not quite sure what he means, but doesn't consider it too hard. "I wish we could do something."
'sad, sad, hurt, moon, sad.'
His lips quirk up into a smirk. "Oh, we can."
"We can."
"Yeah. Grass is pretty simple. If you sing a little, they perk right up."
"Sing?"
"Yeah. Watch this:"
'Moon,. moon, sleep. Moon, moon, rest.'
'sad, sad, hurt, moon, no sleep. sad, sad, hurt, moon, no rest.'
'Moon,. moon, sleep. Moon, moon, rest.'
'sad, sad, moon, no sleep? sad, sad, moon, no rest?'
'Moon,. moon, sleep. Moon, moon, rest.'
'moon,. moon, sleep? moon, moon, rest? moon, moon, no sad?'
'Moon,. moon, sleep. Moon, moon, rest.'
'moon,. moon, sleep. moon, moon, rest.'
Ochako clapped her hands together in glee. "Wow! Bakugou-kun! I didn't know you could sing! And it worked! They sound so much better."
"Tch. Of course."
'moon,. moon, sleep. moon, moon, rest.'
She sighs as the nighttime song of the grass settles around them. "I think I wanna listen for a while."
Bakugou grunts, but he sits with her for the next hour until she starts feeling the chill of the air. She stands up and stretches feeling into her limbs. "Moonlight feels different than sunlight, but it's still kinda tingly."
Bakugou snorts. "You would say that."
'moon,. moon, sleep. moon, moon, rest.'
Her smile widens. "The grass is so cute! Do you think I could put some in a pot without hurting it?"
He shakes his head. "It's best to leave grass where it grows; it'd be sad without its family."
"Oh? Well I wouldn't want that."
'moon,. moon, sleep. moon, moon, rest.'
She would leave the grass to its simple songs.
After that she finds she feels differently about Bakugou. She feels like they now have more things in common.
He feels like an ally.
It's also nice that he doesn't harp on her about doing 'weird' things.
Everyone else is weird; they won't even try dirt.
(Weird.)
She finds she rather enjoys being able to hear plants (sadistic lawn maintenance aside). The trees sound calm and stately, the flowery silvery and flowing.
And grass and other weeds are energetic and loquacious. Though their vocabularies are pretty small. She has been trying to get the grass near her favorite bench to say more words, but now they just kinda randomly say 'mochi' when she greets them.
All things considered she's a little proud of them. Bakugou about dies laughing when she tell him.
But he must be intrigued (because that same grass starts saying 'fuck' randomly).
She's even able to rescue a few houseplants her classmates were murdering. Mina had a fern that she'd been starving and over exposing to sunlight. Kamiari was drowning his avocado plant. She'd named them both Uta and Sutoikku respectively.
Uta will say rhyming words together. No apparent meaning, just they rhyme. Sutoikku has PTSD and is constantly screaming for help. (Pretty reasonable considering where he'd been.)
It's a Sunday afternoon and she is tidying her room with her new plant friends chatter for company when it happens.
'lawful waffle'
'i wanna live. i wanna live'
She's gathering her sheets when a handful of pink berries roll out.
"Huh where'd these come from?" The berries are the size of blueberries and are a little fuzzy.
'pop mop'
'help help help'
She pops one in her mouth but the mildly sweet flavor does not capture her attention. It is bland. It's like tasting the inside of her mouth.
She shrugs and sets the handful on her nightstand.
'folly dolly'
'noooooo!'
But throughout the week she continues to find the berries in her bed.
"Huh? More?"
Where could they be coming from?
She starts putting them in a bowl. Maybe she should plant them. That's what Bakugou planned to do with his berries.
(Before she ate them.)
Maybe she should offer him some. He didn't seem interested in his berries, but if he liked these pink ones she kept finding then they could be even.
(Or more even. He did keep making her food and smuggled her dirt. The dinner he'd given her just hours before had been very yummy with a side of clay rich soil from behind the track. Not that she would recognize the taste of such a dirt since she totally hasn't been sneaking in tastes when she can.)
She wraps up a handful of the berries in a tissue and ties it off with a ribbon.
Bakugou (and the rest of the squad) are studying in the common area. Well Bakugou is studying. Everyone else seems to just be hanging out.
Bakugou's attention snaps to her as soon as she enters the room, his eyes trained to her cargo.
"Hey Uraraka-chan! Whaddaya got there? Also are you ever going to give me back my plant?"
She smiles at Kaminari stiffly. "I have berries for Bakugou-kun. And of course not. Sutoikku does not need to suffer your inability to care for him."
Mina sighs. "So does that mean you're not giving my plant back either?"
Ochako rolls her eyes. "Nope."
"What kind of berries are they Uraraka-chan?" Kirishima looks oddly wary as he eyed her gift.
"I dunno. Pink ones? I keep finding them." For some reason it seems unnecessary to share that she's finding them in her bed.
"Just for Bakugou, Ochako?" Kyouka is smirking at her entirely too teasing.
She laughs. "Well I ate all of his the other day." She holds out the berries to Bakugou. "Here."
Bakugou carefully takes them from her and is equally careful untying the ribbon. "Huh."
"Oooh I wanna try one! They look so pretty!" Mina looks very intrigued. They are nearly the color of her skin.
Ochako shakes her head. "You'll have to ask Bakugou." Personally she'd be more excited about Bakuberries.
Bakugou smirks. "Sure. Each of you extras can take one."
Each of the Bakugou squad pick up one. Well except Kaminari who gets his hand slapped away.
"Not that one." Bakugou picks up said berry and hands it to her. "That one's about to sprout; keep it."
Her eyes widen in awe. "But I didn't plant it."
"Maybe it's an air plant."
She brought it closer to her face and could detect the faintest singing from it, but it was a song without words.
"Gah!"
She lifts her eyebrows as Kaminari made a show of spitting out the berry he'd been given.
It makes her feel weirdly mad.
The rest of the squad has their face twisted in misery, but seem to be trying to stay quiet.
Except Kyouka who puts her berry back. "I think I'm going to pass."
"You guys don't like them."
They just mutely shake their heads.
"Tch." Bakugou just sneers at them before popping one into his mouth. "Fuck yeah! You losers have shit taste. These berries are great."
Her heart speeds up as he eats them all.
Kaminari scowls at both of them. "Where do you guys get these nasty berries?"
Bakugou chuckles. "You don't wanna know Pikachu."
Huh. Maybe she should ask him.
She looks down at the berry she's cradling in her hand.
(And thinks about how she can hear plants, drinks a conspicuous amount of water, likes the taste of dirt, blisses out from sunlight, hasn't used the restroom in quite awhile.)
Yeah she should definitely ask him.
(Because she thinks she might be turning into what scientists call a full-time plant person.)
And she'll figure out why that doesn't seem to bother her later.
It turns out she doesn't need to ask Bakugou because he drags her to his room leaving his friends to 'study' on their own. He unhelpfully does not explain why he's leaving and she can only imagine what Mina and Kaminari will tell everyone else.
"Uh, er, what's up Bakugou-kun?"
He growls at her but the way he's tugging on his hair makes her think he's actually more frustrated with himself than her.
While he collects himself she looks around his room. It's pretty sparse in decoration except for one All Might figurine and a half dozen plants. She recognizes two are pepper plants, but the rest seem very exotic.
One is a silvery vine that had grown to span the wall over Bakugou's bed and had started creeping across the ceiling and dropping tendrils down.
'Greetings Night Flower.' The vine's voice is soft like velvet. 'Have you been enjoying Katsuki's cooking?'
The vine doesn't sound like the plants outdoors or the one's she had rescued. 'You seem different than other plants.'
'Of course Dear. It's to be expected.'
"That's Airi-oba." Bakugou's voice is calm and he seems to have managed whatever was causing him internal strife. "She was my Great Great Aunt Tomo's."
"She seems really nice. It's cool you have a plant from one of your family."
'Indeed. Provide guidance, we can. Blessings, we are.'
She whipped her attention to the huge fern with bright orange leaves taking up a whole corner of his room. "Did he just sound like Yoda?"
Bakugou sighs. "Yeah. Ever since my great times a million grandpa told him about Star Wars. Banko-jii thinks it's cool."
'Salsa fountain!'
This comes from a short plant on his desk. It looked to be around a fourth of a meter. It has a bright orange stem and black spikey leaves and rose like thorns.
"And him?"
Bakugou rolls his eyes. "That's Baka; he's an idiot."
'Gummy bear slide!'
Ochako giggles. "Maybe he's just misunderstood. And the one by the window?" That one looked like Baka, but was a whole meter taller."
'Names's Katsu Round Face!'
"Oi don't be fucking rude!"
'Just because you're swapping berries with her doesn't mean I gotta be nice.'
Choosing to ignore whatever he might be trying to imply with the berry comment, she asks, "Katsu? Like your name?"
Bakugou flushed. "Yeah kinda. I wasn't the best namer at four."
She snorts. "Don't I know; You tried to use 'Deku' as an insult."
'Heh. Nice burn.'
'I told you the course of action was unbecoming.'
'Truth, she speaks.'
'Dirt waffles!'
She laughs. His plants were funny. Although that last idea actually sounded kind of yummy. Maybe Baka isn't so dumb after all.
'Water stairs rainbow!'
(Nevermind.)
"Tch." Bakugou sits on his bed and gestures for her to sit by him. "Sit down Uraraka. We gotta talk."
"About how-"
"About everything! Shit!"
She sits down next to him and smiles at him weakly. "Uh, ready? I guess?"
"Geez. Don't sound too sure Uraraka. So what have you figured out?"
"Uh, I'm a plant person now." Somehow.
"And?"
"You're also a plant person." Somehow.
"And?"
"That's all I got. How did this happen?"
"When you ate all those damn berries."
"But why would berries turn me into a plant person?"
He shrugs. "I don't really understand all of it. I guess some of the scientists got theories and shit. All I know is if someone eats enough of your berries sometimes they turn."
Ochako frowned. "But where did your berries come from? One of the plants?"
"None of them make orange berries; the berries, uh, come from me?"
Ochako frowns at him in confusion. "From where?"
"Shit you really haven't figured anything out! I figured since you gave me yours-" He cuts himself off with a wince. "Why the shit have you been so calm?!"
She holds up her hands. "I dunno. It didn't seem that bad?" No point in panicking when you aren't scared.
"You really are a weirdo. Here I'll show you." He then leans his head towards and reaches up to part one of his hair spikes to reveal a little cluster of berries connected to some blond colored stems.
She reaches out without conscious thought. His hair is soft, but the texture is different and it feels like petals. She plucks a berry from the exposed cluster.
"Fuck!"
She jerks her hand away. "Sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!"
He turns away from her, but she can see his face is flushed. "It didn't hurt."
She frowns. "But why did you-"
"It felt good! Shit! It's a sensitive part of the body! How have you not noticed?!"
'Wow they're both idiots.'
'Jalapeno cheese cake! Merry-go-round!'
'Courting, difficult it is.'
'This is terribly awkward.'
She purses her lips in thought. She'd stopped using shampoo and conditioner weeks ago because it made her scalp burn. She mostly just messaged water into her hair. Which had felt pretty good.
Huh.
"Wait. So the berries in my bed were coming from my hair?" She reaches up and parts a patch of hair and then feels down by the roots. Sure enough she can feel the round fuzziness of the berries she'd been finding. And Bakugou is right. The area around them is tender, sensitive. It actually feels really good to-
"Cut that shit out! Do that in private!"
She blushes and hastily takes her hands away. When he said it like that it made it sound like she was-
"Oh my god! I didn't mean- I just- Oh and touched yours-" She gapes at him. "I ate your berries."
He just nods.
No wonder he'd been bashful.
"And I gave you mine! Why did you eat them?"
'A tricky question, it is. Tread carefully, you should.'
'Well, I think it's apparent why honestly.'
He rubs the back of his neck. "They smelled really good."
'The what he said! These fuckers are dumb!'
She narrows her eyes at him. "Are the berries a weird sex thing?"
His face turns red. "Kinda."
'Dancing marmalade soup!'
Holy shit! "I got on first base by eating berries!"
He smirks. "Actually I'd say it's between 2nd and 3rd."
She gapes at him. "I'm not like gonna get pregnant, am I?"
His eyes widen. "Shit no!"
She tilts her head. "Are you going to get pregnant?"
"The fuck Uraraka!"
She shrugs. "Just asking." Plants did things like that, right?
"Well stop. The berries don't do that. They're just for attracting a mate. We'd have to do...other things to have kids."
She presses her hands together intrigued. "Like what other things?"
'Heh. No one told her about fucking.'
'It's quite understandable Katsu; humans do it a little different. A lot different.'
'Land in her fleshy petals, his bee shall. Flow, the sweet nectar shall.'
'Hydrogen balloons!'
She presses her hands to her burning cheeks. "If I'm a plant, why do I still blush!?" Also, Bakugou's plants are making this embarrassing situation worse.
"Well, technically it's not blushing, but a mimicry to better blend in with the-"
"It's not fair!"
"Uh-"
"And how will I tell my parents?!" Would they understand? Would they be freaked out?
(Were they going to disown her?)
"Uh, well, I guess I could ask the Hag and Old Man to help?" Bakugou actually looks freaked out too. Clearly he doesn't really know what to do.
"Bakugou-kun I'm so confused!"
"Me too Uraraka! This shit basically never happens. Like once every century or so."
Huh. So it wasn't common to have berries convert someone. "Is that why you didn't say anything earlier?"
"Kinda. I thought nothing would happen since you weren't sick. But then you started eating dirt and smelling really good and-"
"Wait you think I smell good?" She smiles. "I think you smell good too." That had been another thing she'd been wondering about. She'd figured it was hormones or something.
(And it turned out to be something.)
'Sweet and soft words, they share.'
'Yeah. They gonna bone.'
'Bow chikka wow wow!'
'Katsuki your mother will murder you if you knock up a girl while you're in school.'
She glares at the plants (which is stupid since plants can't see). "We're not going to have sex." Then she considers what he's said about the berries. "Yet. We're not going to have sex yet."
'Oh! You getting some Katsuki!'
'Please, be careful, Katsuki.'
'Sounds like a fun time.'
'Watermelon stilts!'
"Sorry about them." Bakugou mumbles clearly mortified.
She just shakes her head. "It's alright. It's a lot weird, but it's like having family with you."
"Yeah basically. We live a long time, but our plants outlive us. So they get passed down. Banko-jii is over 600 years old."
"Whoa! How long do we live?"
He shrugs. "On average? About 200 years. We actually don't reproduce that often. Most only have three or four kids."
"And your parents only have you?"
He nods. "Yeah. They're pretty young. They're only in their forties. A lot of us don't have kids until we're sixty or seventy."
Geez. There is just so much to learn.
But she feels tired from all the new knowledge and isn't sure how much more she can process.
Maybe she needs to take her mind off things. She eyes the berry in her hand before she decides to maybe have a little fun.
She lifts it to her mouth, licks it then slowly wraps her tongue around it before chewing. Somehow knowing they came from Bakugou's body isn't a turn off. In fact the spicy sweet flavor is even more delectable.
Bakugou eyes dilate and his scent becomes stronger.
"Mmm. That was good Bakugou-kun; can I have another?"
He opens his mouth, but apparently can't find the words so he just nods.
She reaches up to card her hands through his 'hair' and straddles him to get a better angle. His hands settle on her waist to keep her from falling off the bed.
He shivers as she runs her hands through his hair. "Shit. Feels good."
She smirks. "Does it? Maybe you should return the favor."
"Yeah."
Bakugou seems almost hesitant to touch her hair, but his finger feel firm and sure sure once they get there.
She moans at the feeling. "Oh. That really does feel good." It's distracting enough that she forgets to that she's looking to harvest morn berries.
That is until he plucks one of hers.
The feeling is sharp and hot causes heat to settle deep in her core. "Oh, fuck. Do it again."
So he does. There are a half dozen in that cluster and he plucks them all. He then slowly pops them in his mouth. "Mmm. Delicious."
Another wave heat surges through and she can feel her pussy getting wet. (So apparently she still does that as a plant person.)
"Fuck yeah you are."
She giggles. "Bakugou-kun this is weird, but super hot."
They end up spending another hour or so playing with the other's hair and picking berries. She might have been inclined to try other things, but Airi-oba was kinda a mood kill. Not to mention Banko-jii dropped his Yoda impression for full lewd grandpa mode. Even Baka's gibberish started taking on a hentai tint.
(Something about how he'd said peach cobbler.)
Katsu actually went quiet though. So maybe he's actually shy.
Mina literally jumps her as she opens the door to her dorm.
"Mina! Why?!"
"What were you up to with Bakubro?"
"Uh, well, we-"
"No here! My room! The girls are waiting."
"They are?" Ochako tries to look at her incredulously, but it is hard with Mina glommed onto her back.
"Room!"
Ochako rolls her eyes, but complys. Luckily she didn't have to carry Mina far to her dorm.
"Yay! You got her!"
Ochako smiles weakly in Tooru's direction as Mina hopped off her back. "Uh, hi guys."
"So what were you doing in Bakugou-chan's room, ribbet?"
"Well, he introduced me to his plants; they're very nice." And weird. "Also kind of mood killers."
"Okay? Can't say I was expecting that." Kyouka looks skeptical.
"Nevermind his plants. What base did you get to?"
"Mina!" Momo and Tooru squeal in unison. But where Momo looks scandalized, Tooru sounds delighted.
"Maybe third? Really close to that? We weren't in danger of making babies? Well not too much." Categorizing plant foreplay is hard.
"Girl! Whoa! What exactly were you doing?"
"We mostly just touched each other's hair and ate berries."
The other girls fall silent.
"What?" Why are they looking at her like that?
"Ochako. That isn't 3rd base." Kyouka says matter-of-factly as the others shake their heads. "I'm not sure you even left the dugout."
"She didn't even leave the locker room!" MIna wails, looking dejected.
She tilts her head. "If you say so." The way Airi-oba was going on, Ochako is sure she'd got pretty close to how little plant people were made.
"I think there's more kissing and groping involved, ribbet."
Ochako considers how it felt to have Bakugou explore her sensitive scalp. "Well, there might have been a bit of groping."
"Oh!" Momo has her fingers pressed to her lips.
"Yeah his fingers felt really good on my-"
"Hips?"
"Breast?"
"Hoo-hah?!"
"Mina!"
Ochako chuckles at their antics. "I was gonna say scalp."
"Huh." Mina sighs sadly. "So you really didn't make-out with Bakubro."
Ochako laughs. "I didn't not make-out with him."
Kyouka rolls her eyes. "Ochako by your own words you didn't."
"Huh." She isn't so sure. She thinks she is now plant person version courting Bakugou.
"It's actually a little concerning Ochako. Do you need a refresher on how reproduction works?"
Mina cackles. "Oooh, Momo is gonna give Chako-chan the bird and the bees."
"Isn't that the one where plants are used as a metaphor?"
Momo blushes. "Well, yes."
"Okay. Tell it to me with the plants, but less metaphorically."
They all gape at her.
"What?" It doesn't hurt to ask for more information. (She's never been that interested in botany before.)
"You want her to tell you how plants bone?" Mina is eying her with suspicion.
"Is that weird?"
"Kind of a non-sequitur, ribbet."
So they spent the rest of the night talking about plant reproduction. (There was a biology test coming up anyway.)
As they all stand up to return to their rooms she giggles. "You know guys. This really helped. But I guess maybe I was actually closer to home plate than I realized."
(Airi-oba was right to be worried.)
The girls just shake their heads and pat her on the shoulder. The next day she is pulled by Recovery Girl and she explains in unnecessary detail how babies are made.
She also asks if Ochako is eating dirt and other questions that Ochako has to lie about like she'd been everytime the woman asked. Now that she knows she's a plant person it seems like an even worse idea to tell her.
Three days later her berry sprouts a single black leaf. And unlike the grass she learns words rapidly. She names her Cassiopeia.
She places the small plant in a mesh pouch and hangs it off her shoulder.
She brings her to class and rubs water into her roots when she's thirsty.
'Grow, yay, grow.'
"Here." Bakugou sets down a bento for her before joining her at her desk. She'd opted to eat in the classroom so she could better hear the seedling.
"Thanks Bakugou-kun. This is Cassiopeia."
'Grow, yay, grow.'
He grins a little. "She's pretty cute."
'Little Pea is cute.' He sings to her.
"Aw. You gave her a nickname!"
He flushes. "If that's okay with you."
"Of course. Wait. Is this some kind of deal for our kind?"
"Kinda. The plants we grow are considered somewhere between pets and children, but closer to the child end. But also an extension of our consciousness."
"Huh." Geez. "That's weird."
"Yeah."
Weeks pass with Little Pea learning new words everyday, exploring plant reproduction with Katsuki and trying to pretend to be human.
But she must have been doing a poor job of the last bit because when she is pulled to Recovery Girl's office for her biweekly check up her parents are there.
"Ma! Pa! Why are you here?"
She gives them both a big hug.
When she goes to pull away her tugs her back. "What's this about you eating dirt?"
"Um, it tastes good?" She can't lie to her parents; she just can't.
'Who, who, who?'
'Hush Pea.' She mentally shushes Pea. (Something Katsuki had taught her to do.)
"Oh Baby." Her mother is hugging her tightly and rubbing her hair which thankfully doesn't turn her on when her mother does it. (It feels very intimate and soothing though.)
"It's not so bad?"
Her parents sigh.
"Tea Leaf. We're going to check into a hotel so we can take you to a few different doctors."
Her mom nods. "Aizawa-sensei already scheduled the appointments."
Ochako looked at them in horror. Not only did all of that sound expensive. (But also she can't let a doctor run tests on her. She'll end up as a lab experiment for sure.)
"But I'm fine!"
"You will be Sweetheart! We're going to make sure of it!"
'Fine, fine, fine.'
She is walking her parents to the gate when Katsuki finds them.
"Uh, nice to meet you." Katsuki says this greeting more awkwardly than she would have thought him capable of. (And she is well aware he is awkward as fuck.)
"And you as well Young Man." Her mother smirks at her while her father glares at him.
"Is there something you want to tell us Tea Leaf?"
She stutters at her father's short tone. "Uh, we're dating?"
(Or something. She's pretty sure they hit a homerun the other day.)
(Probably.)
'Yay, Shithead, yay.'
Ochako isn't quite sure how Cassiopeia had come to calling Katsuki Shithead after he spent an afternoon watching her, but she thinks it's hilarious. He, himself, admits it's his fault.
"And what do you think about Ochako eating dirt?"
Katsuki opens his mouth and then closes it visibly unsure of how to respond to her father's question.
Her mouth pats him on the arm. "Did you even know Sweetie?"
"Uh. You guys can stay at my house," he blurts.
She and her parents stare at him blankly.
"Uh because you have to stay here for the appointments."
"How did you know about the appointments?" He was a plant not a psychic.
"I heard Aizawa-sensei talking about it, but Ialready asked my parents, they said they'd be here in about 15 minutes to pick you guys up." Geez. He could give Deku a run for his money word vomiting like that.
"That's very generous of your family but-" Ma is clearly flustered by the offer
"We don't need charity." Her father's tone is firm.
"Oh this ain't charity. I'm going to marry your daughter; my parents want to meet you."
"You are?" She and her parents ask in unison, but she doesn't think they are all incredulous for the same reasons.
"Tch. Of course. I wasn't just going to play with Chako's hair and then split."
(How romantic.)
She beams at him. "I know that, but really?"
"Play with her hair?" Her ma sounds bemused.
"Huh." Her dad's frown becomes a little less severe. "I'm glad you realize what an honor it is to touch my daughter's hair ."
"Yes, Sir."
She laughs. She's never seen Katsuki this well behaved.
'Honor, daughter, hair.' (Look at Pea learning new words.)
Katsuki's parents show up a few minutes later. They greet her parents and his mom informs her Katsuki and her that they'll be back for them both when the school day is over. Her tone leaves no room for argument.
So that's how they all end up piled in the car four hours later. With her mom between Katsuki's dad her pa in the front with Mitsuki between her and Katsuki in the back.
Masaru (Katsuki's dad) chats with her parents while Mitsuki 'silently' berates Katsuki in the back seat through plant telepathy.
'When the shit were you going to tell us if this hadn't happened!?'
'When I fucking felt like it Hag!'
'Wrong! You should have told us immediately!'
'It's fucking fine!'
'How did this happen?!'
'Alien Bitch barged into my room and decided to jack my berry bowl.'
'It's unacceptable she was able to get to it! You aren't a child! You need to be more responsible!'
'I didn't tell Ochako to stuff herself with berries; she did that on her own!'
'Don't go blaming her Brat!'
'Don't go blaming me Hag!'
And then their 'conversation' devolved into growling. It was all she could do to not burst into laughter.
'Shithead, Hag, funny.'
'Too true Sweet Pea.'
Katsuki's house is not a house; it's a mansion. And the grass and trees in front of the house are disturbingly quiet.
'They're artificial, Chako. So it doesn't look suspicious and we don't have to mow. There's real grass in the back.'
Oh that makes sense.
They end up sitting at a very nice table in a formal dining room. The room is full of brightly colored plants.
'Oh my. They're back.'
'They brought the daughter too.'
'Aw. Katsuki is growing up!'
'I remember when he sprouted.'
'This should be amusing.'
All of them are the smarter kind of plant produced by plant people.
(Also what did that one mean by sprouted?)
Mitsuki took a deep breath. "So there's no easy way of saying this, but our son accidentally turned your daughter into a plant person. We are plant people."
'No small talk. Bold move.'
'Honesty can be very healing.'
'Omigod, omigod, ohmigod!'
Her parents share a look before bursting into laughter.
Her pa actually grins. "Good one you two. Although why do you really have all these plants?"
"Hehe. Plant people. Next you'll be alien plant people."
Masaru shrugs. "That's one of the leading theories, but we're not really sure. We have been around a long time."
Her parents stop laughing.
'When the laughter stops.'
'Oh my. What will they do?'
'This is some good shit.'
"Oh dear, you're serious." Her ma leaned towards them looking concerned. "It's okay we'll let you know which of Ochako's doctors are any good."
Her dad flashes a reassuring smile at them. "I used to believe in aliens too."
"Ma, Pa. You're being kinda rude." Although they did seem genuinely concerned. It is just like her parents to want to help someone they just met.
"Tea Leaf you don't really believe this do you?"
"Uh well yeah." There is evidence and everything.
(She can hear the plants commenting on their weird situation after all.)
"How would our daughter get accidentally turned into a plant alien?" Her pa is looking pretty skeptical.
"Uh well I ate the berries Mina grabbed from Katsuki's room."
Her dad rolls his eyes. "So you ate some berries. So what? Me and your ma have been eating berries all afternoon. Are we going to turn into plant people too?"
The Bakugous all stare at him gobsmacked before Katsuki smirks at his mother. "What was that you said about being irresponsible?"
"Katsuki." His father says it mechanically.
"How we were supposed to know they'd-"
"Now don't go blaming the Urarakas." He replied coolly.
"Katsuki." Masaru repeats, but he seems very distracted.
"Brat you better watch what you say to-"
"Oh like you watched your berries?"
"Katsuki don't antagonize your mother."
"This is different Brat."
"How?"
"Why I oughta-"
"Maybe you should've-"
"Katsuki. Mitsuki."
She and her parents watch silently as the Bakugou family bickers.
Her dad leans back in his chair. "So you're a plant person?"
"Uh-uh."
Her mom leans into him. "And maybe we're gonna be now too?"
"Looks like it." She holds up Cassiopeia. "This is Cassiopeia. Pea for short. I sprouted her from one of my berries and she calls Katsuki Shithead."
Her dad chuckles. "Neat." His brows lower. "Wait is hair touching a thing for plant people."
She flushes to her neck. "Uh yeah."
"What a little Shithead."
Mitsuki and Katsuki continue for a while before he stops mid growl and goes pale. (That can't be good even for plant people.)
"What's that face for Brat?"
"They ate your berries." All traces of smugness are gone. He looks horrified.
But that'd been what they were arguing about. Her parents eating his parents-
"Oh my God!" She points at her parents who had spent the last few minutes cooing over Pea. "Ma! Pa! You ate their berries!"
Her stomach turns as she tries unsuccessfully not to think about it.
Her parents share a look before her Ma winks at her and Katsuki. "And they were delicious."
Katsuki shudders and so does Ochako. Mistuki flushes bright red.
Masaru just adjusts his glasses looking intrigued.
'I can see what's happening.'
'What?'
'We can't see anything.'
'What are you on about?'
Her Pa smirks at him. "Perhaps we should, what did you say, 'play with their hair?' How does that sound Shithead?"
"Sounds fucking gross!"
"Pa! S-stop please!"
'And they don't have a clue.'
'Who?'
'Renji we've talked about this. Tenzo could you stop playing into his antics.'
'Here we go again.'
Intellectually she can tell he is trolling Katsuki, but she just can't take it. (Because he might also be flirting.)
No, no, no, no, no.
"Which berries did you eat?" Masaru asks with way more calm than he had any right to be.
Her mom giggles. "Well the orange and silver ones that were in the bowls. The orange were spicy. Tasty."
Her dad widened his smirk. "And the silver ones tasted like a refreshing rosé. Very refreshing!"
'They'll fall in love-'
'Maybe something else.'
'-and here's the bottom line. Their duo's up by two.'
'Renji.'
"I too like the taste of her berries." Masaru seems way too okay with this turn.
Her ma giggles. "Yours were good too Masaru-kun!"
'The sweet caress of twilight; there's magic everywhere.'
'Renji!'
'And with all this romantic atmosphere; Disaster's in the air!'
Well at least that's correct.'
'Oh snap!'
'Can you feel the love tonight!'
'A little actually.'
'Enough with the Disney Renji!'
Katsuki grabs her hand and drags her out of the room. "I'm gonna show Chako the yard!"
Thankfully they are out of earshot before she can hear any more parental fraternization.
"Katsuki my parents ate your parents berries!"
"I know! Let's not ever talk about it again ever. Thank you!"
They both slump on the step of the small patio that leads to the dirt path that winds through his overgrown yard.
'grow tall, grow taller, grow tallest.'
"Katsuki why didn't you warn me this could happen?"
"Chako I didn't know this could happen obviously."
"Is polyamory common among plant people? Also what do plant people call plant people?" Now that she thinks about it. It's odd that he's never called them something else.
"We just call ourselves plant people when we need to. Mostly I just consider myself Japanese. And polyamory isn't unheard of." He grimaces. "But usually a lot of specific conditions have to be met for the process to be initiated."
'grow tall, grow taller, grow tallest.'
"Huh?"
He directs his gaze away from her. "Mating is a permanent process. Involving more partners impacts how pollination occurs."
She wants to ask more questions so she can know for herself, but she decides to wait. (Because she could stand to know less about what her parents might-
"Sorry about all this."
She leans into him. "It's okay Katsuki. How could you have known."
(But also how can they unknow?!)
And then the cherry blossom tree started singing in a buttery tenor.
'And if they fall in love tonight.'
"Katsuki is he talking about our parents?"
'It can be assumed.'
"Fucking probably. He's a troll."
'Their days apart are over.'
"Wait. Is he singing the Lion King?"
'In short-who's your new daddy?!'
"I'm going to chop you down Geezer!"
Sometimes being a plant person is hard.
(Also she is going to help Katsuki do the chopping.)
However, they don't actually end up chopping down the tree because Katsuki's family doesn't have an axe.
(And there is the fact that they don't want to hurt any of the nearby grass.)
Eventually Mistuki calls them back into the house and Ochako just ignores how parts of her hair are braided when they hadn't been before.
Katsuki never leaves the braids in for other people to see.
(Their parents are sluts.)
(Ahhh, bad thoughts, bad thoughts, bad thoughts.)
Dinner is good though. She even gets her parents to try a few different kinds of soil and they agree that perhaps they'd been over reacting to the whole eating dirt thing.
They then try to get her to say she's overreacting to the whole parental polyamory thing, but she's not.
(In fact, she's underreacting.)
She's going to have some kind of teenage crisis.
(Maybe she does need to find out how baby plant people are made.)
In light of 'the everything', her and Katsuki plan to stay the night as well. Her dad isn't too keen on them sharing a bed, but Masaru and Mistuki point out that plant sex times are way less likely at night when the sun is down.
(She refrains from mentioning that she also gets some energy from moonlight. Besides Katsuki is basically dead to the world after eight o'clock.)
What no one plans for is Aizawa showing up right as they are clearing the dinner table. After Masaru leads him in, he sits down between her and her Pa.
"Congratulations."
She blinks at him confused. And so does everyone else.
"For?" Masaru tilts his head as he sits down between his wife and her mother.
(Thankfully he keeps a respectful distance from Ma. She shoots him a warning look for good measure.)
"Saving the planet. Or I guess more accurately all the life on the planet."
"What the shit, Sensei?" Katsuki is looking at Aizawa like he is crazy.
(Which makes sense because he clearly is.)
Aizawa leans back in his chair. "Well Earth is kind of a garbage planet."
"What?" Mitsuki is wearing the exact same bewildered expression as her son.
"I supposed it can't be helped with the over abundance of liquid water," he shudders, "And scarcity of heavy metals."
"I'm so confused Aizawa-sensei." Hopefully he is about to start making sense.
Yes?!
"Most of the time planets are already well processed by the time I appraise them." He sighs. "Carbon-based life forms are a bitch."
Her dad glares at him. "Are you an alien or something?"
Aizawa just nods. "Yeah. Pleasure. I hate it here so much."
Mistuki snarls at him. "Why are you telling us all this?"
Aizawa just laughs. "Because you're the first Virants I've managed to discover on this damn planet. I planned on being here a year tops, but I've had to spend twenty writing my report. It takes forever to document colossal failure."
"What's a Virant? And what do you mean failure?" Her ma is leaning into her pa and eyeing Aizawa warily.
(Also why did she have braids suddenly too? Has she no shame?)
"Well, for one, all the original astravir plants seemed to have died out within one or two generations. Secondly, none of the elements anyone cares about are here in great enough numbers to cultivate. And finally this planet's 'sentient life,' and I do use that term loosely, is nearly impervious to processing. Although it seems there has been some progress on the front finally. But seriously, you had 300,000 years of buffer room. What went wrong?"
Masaru shakes his head. "We have no idea what you're talking about."
"Well how many of you are there? I don't have the right sensors to track you as you all seem to have over adapted to this environment rather than adapting it to you as was the original intention."
"Huh. Good question. We don't exactly have a centralized government. The closest we come is probably the private high schools and colleges. We tend to live in small family groups so we kind of have to go elsewhere to find a mate. The schools serve as a place to meet others of kind. We were really worried about Katsuki going to UA for that reason, but he managed to find a way around that."
Aizawa just shakes his head. "What you should be worried about is him exposing your existence when you clearly don't have the numbers to fight back."
Mistuki bares her teeth at Aizawa. "If my baby wants to be a hero, then that's what he's going to do. You don't have to be human to be a hero."
"I'm well aware of that fact, but I suppose it worked out. I would have never found you all otherwise. At least, now the whole planet doesn't have to be razed."
"Why would the planet have to be destroyed?"
Aizawa raised an eyebrow at her. "The Empire isn't like in the movies. They don't think it prudent to invade native populations in a traditional manner. They have a system of assimilation for sub-sentient and barely sentient populations. They sent astravir plants to accumulate valuable resources and infect any emerging sentient beings. Generally it only takes a few hundred years for the population to be assimilated. The assimilated population is genetically disposed to be accommodating to the Empire once they arrive and engineered to subsist on resources considered of low importance.
"Carbon-based life forms present a particular challenge as they already use low tier resources, but are generally impossible to assimilate. Generally once a population is reported to be carbon-based the whole planet is wiped."
"That's terrible!" These aliens sound mean.
"Well they're very hard to conquer considering they live in hazardous environments, eat hazardous things and cannot be reasoned with."
"Sounds fucking racist."
"Heh. Maybe. Well, anyway. Despite not coming anywhere near conquering the planet, you're the first set of Virants to actually convert a non-negligible percentage of a carbon-based life form. And since you live in small groups it seems possible this phenomenon is happening more frequently around the globe."
"So you mean other people are having to deal with their parents hooking up?"
"What are you talking about Uraraka?"
"Uh, well-"
"Don't actually wanna know. Well, anyway welcome to the intergalactic community. All the doctor's appointments scheduled for you were fake, so enjoy the next few days off with your family. I will be in contact so I can connect with more of your kind."
"But are you a plant person? A Virant?"
"No."
"What kind of alien are you?" Aizawa looks pretty human-like. (But so did the Bakugous…)
"Above your pay grade." He makes a low trill in the back of his throat. "But you know. You guys might be eligible to be considered citizens of this quadrant of the galaxy. Huh." He stands up looking thoughtful. "Well I'll let you know. It would be a bitch to go anywhere, but you could have an out of this world college experience."
They stare at him speechless.
"Geez. What? You guys didn't evolve a sense of humor? It was a joke. God I hate it here." He leaves the room, but she hears him mutter. "Fucking plants." And then the door closing.
Her dad smirks at Katsuki over her head. "Speaking of fucking plants."
"Shut the fuck up ya old bastard. I will end you."
Ochako lays her head down on the table in sadness. At least with her eyes closed she can almost pretend she doesn't know what is happening.
(Maybe it's not too late to let the whole planet get purged.)
'Fucking plants!'
'No Sweet Pea; that's bad language.'
"Hear that Old Bastard? You're corrupting Little Pea."
"What are you talking about?"
Masaru laughs. "Oh it'll probably be weeks before you can hear her."
"Oh! Did little Cassiopeia swear?" A pause. "Is she like my grandchild."
"Well she's not not your grandchild, Meicchan."
"Oh my, Micchan. This is all so strange."
"You know what's actually strange? You guys having fucking pet names for each other!"
"Actually Katsuki I think we need to talk about that."
"Fuck no we don't!"
"No isn't an option Brat!"
"Consent is fucking important!"
(She's lived long enough; please let her die!)
'Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away.'
'Read the room Renji!'
'Yeah dude. Katsuki is processing.'
'And the parents are processing. Amirite?'
'...'
'Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away.'