AN: Hey! It's a pleasure to have you here! I hope you enjoy my story. I don't care much for the mixup of cannon (Though I will add on to some things) or shipping new characters so you won't see much of that here! I simply wanted to explore how Frisk would behave after a few loops as an actual child would have in their situation.
This story does contain some sad stuff but nothing miserable, I still want a fun sheen on top of this emotional story.
I don't know where this story will go, but some more heavy themes might come up later on, so be warned if darker themes might upset you. Other than that, I'm so glad you came!
Frisk had been awake for some time now, though, they didn't feel much of a desire to get up. Shaking hands with important-looking people, saying the same things they had rehearsed over and over with Asgore was painfully dull. Not to mention Frisks' general disposition on talking.
Frisk sat up and rubbed their eyes kicking off their MTT brand blanket. The sun had yet to burn away the clouds that rolled in during the night, leaving a grey warmness to bleed through the blinds.
Frisk had managed an hour or two of sleep during the night, the dream fresh but beginning to fade from their mind. It was hazy though, more feelings than substance. They remembered the anger, the frustration, and jealousy. What they had been connected to they didn't know, but the feelings were still warm in their chest.
Hoping up from where they sat, Frisk stretched in their MTT brand pajamas. (Mettaton was kind enough to furnish most Frisks' wardrobe once they had reached the surface. The rest was Asriels)
With a sudden hollowing of the chest, Frisk thought about Ariel. The thought of him weighed on Frisks' mind suddenly. The number of resets dedicated to trying everything to save him. And learning there was no way short of giving up their soul. To trade their life. How selfish was it that they could never bring themselves to go through it?
They changed tact, trying to focus on the meetings ahead.
Frisk paced, nerves chewing away at their positive outlook on the day. They continued around in circles in their room, each lap bleeding off some of the nervous energy. Frisk was already rarely a social participant unless it was necessary. Being faced with having to talk to anyone outside of the family was not impossible but rarely easy. And doing such interactions with people that generally looked down on them made it far less palatable. Most humans were not so open to those that could not speak in the precise way they preferred.
Papyrus was watching tv loudly downstairs. Not that the tv was loud but his opinion on the show was very loud. Undyne also seemed to be there and was, by the sound of it, punching something. These weren't the sounds making Frisk nervous however, it was waiting for the sound of Toriel pulling in to get them.
A few more laps and they had mostly calmed, sitting on the bed and sighing. It wasn't a lack of love for meeting new people, though a healthy distrust of some people had been born from Frisks' previous time on the surface. The issue came from the ambassador role, becoming the representative of an entire race overnight. Having to be chided by adults for being so young and in a position of power and looked up to by all the rest. The feeling was deeply tiring.
This on top of the secret. The secret that felt more like a lead weight than a well-behaved tongue. Sans knew, but did he believe the excuse. He knew about the loop, and he knew about the secret. And at any time the secret came back up, Sans would waste no time putting them down. They swallowed thickly, Their mind had wandered a little too far now as that familiar tight feeling in the chest started to stifle their breathing. A hand grabbed at their chest as they tried to start with Asgore's calmness training, sitting back down on the bed.
Heart thrumming against ribs.
A deep and relaxing breath.
Sweat begins to run down their face.
"It's gonna be okay," they say.
Images. Flashing in their mind.
In through the nose, out through the mouth.
Body temperature rising quickly
It starts to get to be too much, a buzzing panic begins to settle in, everything is suddenly alive with malice. With each calming breath, they could feel them as if through the ragged lungs left riddled with spears, bones, or widened by a trident. The horrid sound that a knife made against fur, metal, bone; rang in their ears. Frisk grasped for steady ground, managing to-The doorknob turns suddenly, Frisk jumps from the bed, scrambling to a corner. The door is opened, in steps a towering figure, eyes narrowing on Frisk.
They scream but it only comes out as a meek yelp. Frisk grabs for something as the figure shows itself clearly to be Undyne moving quickly towards them, memories of endless spears ringing in their brain. But it's too late, and in an instant, she's on them and-
Hugging. Undyne wraps them tightly in a hug, rocking gently back and forth.
"Shhh, it's okay...you're okay"
A sudden catharsis, leaving Frisk to somewhat numbly accept the comforting embrace.
"It's okay kiddo, I'm here, what's wrong?"
Frisk silently panicked, no one was supposed to see, especially anyone that word be worried.
Think, think, think.
"Scared me"
Undyne blinked, pulling back from the hug and holding the child's sides, getting a good look at their face. "I scared you?"
Frisk nods, shifting uncomfortably.
"I scared you when I opened the door slowly, after I knocked, and peacefully stepped in?"
Frisk swallowed and nodded.
Undyne looked them up and down shrewdly, looking for anything wrong. When satisfied that Frisk was unhurt she pulled them back into the hug, "Well I'm sorry for scaring you. But we need to get ready, Toriel will be here soon" Frisk gave a somewhat plaintive sigh, nodding as Undyne broke the embrace and stood. She plucked a stuffed dragon monster from Frisks' bed and handed it to them, Frisk taking it gratefully and cuddling it close. Undyne hides a blush as she pretends to ignore the cute scene, "Feel better pipsqueak?" Frisk nods shyly.
Undyne grins brightly, "Come on, you need to eat something before we head out"
Frisk blanches as she takes his hand, hugging the stuffy close for comfort. Undyne lifts Frisk by the waist, letting them pretend to slide down the rail before setting them down at the foot of the steps.
Papyrus perks up, "Hello Human! I am watching the worst cooking show I have ever seen! This human has no cooking talent!"
Frisk turned to watch Gordan Ramsey doing a special on Italian cuisine, namely spaghetti. Undyne seemed similarly annoyed as Gordan wasn't even using the stuff from a box, so how good could it actually taste?
Frisk gave a disdainful nod, tutting and waving a finger at the tv. Papyrus nodded sharply, "Well put human! But still, I shall continue to watch as a lesson in how not to prepare a dish!"
Undyne nodded as well, ushering Frisk along to the kitchen, before lifting and dropping the small child into a chair.
Undyne first reached for a hulking chunk of beef in the fridge before Toriels scolding words echoed in her head. "You made them sick all day! You can't feed a child like you're feeding a bodybuilder!" She sighs, grabbing a carton of eggs instead. Working hard to keep from harming the eggs before they made it in the pan she began to chew on the thoughts in her head.
Frisk under no circumstance would bring up anything to cause someone issue. It took Frisk fainting in the living room before they admitted that Alphys' anime had kept them up the last few nights. Undyne tried to scramble the eggs the way Toriel had for them as she thought.
Why had they been afraid?
This wasn't the first time something similar had happened. Frisk would flinch anytime Sans used his magic. She'd caught them silently panicking once while Muffet was dancing with her spiders. Again when Toriel had lit the stove with fire magic. And most anytime they met with the king.
We are monsters, after all, She thought. Human children on the surface were taught to fear monsters. They'd only known Frisk for a month or so really, so maybe this was still something that needed time to work itself out. Though, whatever was truly wrong today, she knew Frisk had not told a whole truth.
The toaster spits out the bread she had pressed into it, she carefully slid the eggs onto the toast, and that toast onto a plate, setting it in front of Frisk.
Frisk gave the plate a meaningful look. "You're gonna eat it, no skipping breakfast today, food in mouth and make it double-time"
Frisk looks down from her back to the plate, picking up the toast and nibbling on it. Undyne fixed up a glass of orange juice, setting in front of them as well, "And drink all that too" She gave them a soft but serious look before rustling their hair and heading back into the living room.
Frisk tried their best to eat but only managed to nibble a bite's worth, trying to drink as much as they could to make up for it. That nagging feeling was still there. The gnawing paranoia that followed the child around ever since that first loop. A thick and heavy feeling of a child faced with facts too much to bear even for an adult. But Frisk loved their family, no matter what the secret had made them do. No matter how much the Lie hurt. No matter how shadowy it was in the looming presence of the Loop.
The Secret, The Loop, and The Lie.
Panic began to settle in, Frisk hopped up from the table and through the kitchen's back door to the backyard. The fresh air helped, flowers blooming, birds chirping, a soothing balm for the moment.
The moment didn't last long as soon Undyne had lifted them and turned them around, giving a stern look. Frisk shrunk a little at the glare.
Undyne softened at the reaction, "I'm not mad, I just want you to eat good. Can you try to nibble a little more for me?"
Frisk shook their head, already feeling sick from nerves alone. Undyne sighed, "Okay. Ooookay. But you'll eat double diner, and no buts"
Frisk nodded giving a small smile, "Promise"
Undyne set them down, "Now, Pap set your clothes out in the bathroom, head up and hop in the shower, be quick about it" she gave them a small nudge and they set off.
The shower had several settings, each has a small face as the symbols. Frisk turned it to the picture of their face, the water getting to their preferred temperature. Frisk got out of their pajamas and quickly washed off.
Shampoo.
Body Wash.
Sing for a moment into the body wash bottle.
Done. They stepped out and quickly dried off, pulling on an oversized sweater and a pair of comfy sweatpants. With a hand, they wiped off the steam from the mirror. Frisk looked at themselves. Someone else looked back.
"Hello frisk"
Frisk made a small sound in response.
"You knew I would still be around. You're my sibling, we share a mom after all. We're like, conjoined twins"
Frisk's hands were no longer their own as they lifted Asgores' horn sharpener, a wicked sickle-like blade.
Frisk's heart kept time against their ribs, "D-don't hurt anyone"
Chara tutted in the mirror, "You'd just reset if I did, I'm done killing en masse. However, I'd want you to do it instead if at all"
Frisk shook their head, "Never"
"I know that numbskull. What I meant was what if I did something like this?"
And with that, Frisk made several shallow slashes across their arm. Frisk kicked the floor hard, thickly swallowing a scream.
"Oh no! Look at what you did! How could you possibly hide that from everyone?"
Frisk shuddered, a burning pain radiating from the jagged cut. "You won't let me get back in the pilot seat anytime soon. At least not fully. So until you find a way to save Asriel too I'm gonna make sure your happiness is just as hopeless as his"
Frisk felt a hollow pang in their chest.
"When you reset, we'll try again, please don't make me have to do anything worse than this"
Frisk had already begunto close up, wilting under Charas demands, "I won't"
"Good. I'm sick of having these vestiges of control. I can only slip through those cracks in your mind every now and again, and I don't intend to waste visits. Next time I'm going to do something far worse, so be good and reset."
Frisk nodded, hoping Chara would leave soon. And with luck she did, leaving Frisk staring at their true reflection. They looked pale. The pain began to return, the blood having mostly slowed by now but having left a mess on the floor. They were not a doctor, no matter how many times they had worn Alphys' coat, they had no idea how to heal a wound. Though, these wounds weren't new. Small scars, burn marks, all reminders of their parents' LOVE. They pulled their mind back to the present.
Frisk quickly wiped the blade off, setting it back on the counter for the moment as they dug through the cabinets for bandaids.
A skeletal knock at the door, "hey kiddo. tori is out here, we're ready to head out"
"Mhm!" Frisk replied, cleaning up blood with bits of tissue paper as hot tears stung their face. Frisk quickly turned the sink on, "B-brushing teeth!"
Their voice wavered, their arm ached.
"you alright kid? you need a hand?"
Frisk swallowed panic, "I'm good''
They said it like they wanted to. Their pain is hidden from their voice. Taking a towel they sopped up the blood as fast as they could manage. Stuffing the towel deep into the cabinet. Frisk could hear that Sans hadn't walked away yet and tried their best to work silently as they fished out a box of bandaids.
Unskillfully, they covered their cuts with a colorful mismatch of bandaids.
Pull down sleeves.
Turn of faucet.
Wipe tears from eyes.
Stop shaking.
Stop shaking….
It wasn't working, but it was too late, Sans opened the door, "ya ready kiddo?"
Frisk walked forward and past Sans hurriedly, nodding their head as they did, "Ready"
Sans tapped a slippered foot impatiently, grabbing Frisk by the head and turning them to face him. Frisk hid their face shyly, disappearing behind the oversized sleeves of their sweater.
"what's wrong, kid?"
"Shampoo in my eyes...got scared"
Sans sighed, moving Frisks' hands. Frisk flinched, shaking nervously. Their face was red, their eyes puffy still. Sans clucked his tongue, "shampoo must have gotten you really good, in both your eyes too"
Frisk nodded in agreement, not making eye contact.
Sans wanted to explain there was no need to be afraid. He wanted to explain the guilt he felt at killing them, that he knew that even though it was Frisks' hands that committed the act that roused his hatred it was not done by Frisks' choice. But he also knew that Frisks' true fear was that he even remembered those loops at all.
The kid looked pale. They were small, soft, and feeble looking. This now was not the child that had harmed the ones he cared for, this was Frisk. All he had to do was comfort them, even if it was small, just-
"ok kid, come on, Toriel will be here soon"
But it didn't come, the trust for raw emotion just wasn't there, not now. Frisk turned and slumped down the stairs dejectedly. Though, that's only what Sans saw. Frisk was fighting through the fatigue that followed little sleep, little food, and a reasonable loss of blood.
Papyrus had finished their show and was now watching an 80's workout video. His sweatband was somehow covered in sweat.
"Oh! Hello human! Would you like to join I, The great Papyrus as I battle flab and whip my abs into shape?"
Frisk gives a tired but warm smile but shakes their head. Papyrus nods, now doing lunges, "Ok but next time you must join me, together we will become sculpted from stone with abs just as hard! Nyeh heh heh!"
Frisk grins blearily, "You look good"
Papyrus beamed, blushing brilliantly. Sans ushered Frisk along towards the door, where Toriel was waiting. Outside were several cars: Toriels and Asgores', the other two being Papyrus and Alphys'.
Toriel waved brightly from her van, Frisk only halfway waved back as everyone began to pile into their cars. First was a stumble, then a swirl in their head, muddling their thoughts. A sudden buzzing headrush and Frisk collapsed onto the sidewalk.
The snow had eased, into a soft flurry
Sans watched as the child again opened the door to the ruins. Their face was wet with tears, wiping the snot from their nose on their sleeve. "S-sans...I didn't do it" they whimpered miserably. Sans had waved a hand, sending a bone through their chest, cracking their ribs with a sickening sound. Frisk squirmed for a moment, grabbing feebly at the jagged bone, blood running steadily from their mouth.
"so, you didn't kill my brother with you're own two hands? then tell me who did huh?"
Frisk gurgled thickly.
"that's what I thought"
Another flick and Frisk went silent, only the soft plip of their blood meeting the snow.
Sans wasn't stupid, he knew what Frisk meant. That something had come over them and now they regret their choice. Perhaps anyone with the power to rewind time would try something similar. But they still chose to kill his brother, that choice was still all them. It doesn't matter if they took it back or not.
Despite the rage, despite the soul-crushing sorrow in his chest, even now with Papyrus alive and well. He knew what had happened, what had been done. Even still he had just slaughtered the same child who he had watched cry after stepping on a flower. The same child that comforted Papyrus when he cried about the same flower. The child who had both lit up Papyrus's life and ended it. Had they simply been putting up an act, Sans' soul burned with the question. With the frustration at the lack of an answer.
When they were emotional they wouldn't take long to load their save. He would be back in bed soon.
Sans had been ignoring the scene that was now behind him, now looking back the twinge in his soul smoldered. The child was still suspended in the air, broken and bloodied, arms hanging limp. Sans walked over, checking their pockets. No monster candy, no knife, no pie, nothing. Another strange feeling nagging at them, but Sans emotions were boiling enough to keep them under thumb.
The familiar numb comfort of knowing the slaughter had been delayed by at least a day was there now and that was enough. Sans didn't know why he felt like crying.
AN: Hello! And thanks for reading my story! It means a lot to me that you've got this far. I've not got a great track record with keeping these stories. What work I've done before was several years ago and I was lazy so apologies. Perhaps I'll wrap those old ones up sometime. As far as this first chapter, It's not very polished and is still quite rough draft-y. But if this story gets some attention I'll certainly work harder for some fans, but for now, this whole story is just for some writing fun. Take care, and hopefully, I'll see you soon 3