An angsty oneshot inspired by Lukas Graham's Love Someone. Major character death ahead, so read on at your own discretion. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

I'd stop the world if it gave us time

Sonny Carisi had a good life.

He had a job he loved, an incredible and supporting family, and last night he fell asleep holding the most beautiful woman in the world. Amanda Rollins was sunshine and fire, confusion and utter perfection, everything he could ever want in one person. And then there was Jesse, all the best parts of her mama walking around holding his heart in his hand. Yeah, he was a goner for them both.

He strolled into his office, whistling to himself as he set his briefcase down and removed his jacket, hanging it over a chair with care. Then he sat down and turned his computer on, ready to start his day.

As usual, he worked straight through the morning. He stopped just after lunchtime to text Amanda, who responded quickly. She couldn't meet him for lunch, but she was craving Italian for dinner. He decided to indulge her and leave work early to run by her favorite place and grab dinner for them.

His phone lit up with a picture of her and Jesse, melting his heart all over again. Picking up the file he had been reading, he returned his focus to the work at hand.

It was nearing four when his phone vibrated angrily. Seeing Olivia's name on the screen caused his brow to furrow, and he quickly picked up. "Hey, Lieu. What's up?"

"Sonny…"

Oh, hell. That wasn't good. He stood up from his desk. "What's going on?"

"It's Amanda and Jesse."

The darkness enveloped him, swallowing him whole.

He was in no state to drive and instead took a cab to Mercy General, where Olivia said Amanda and Jesse had been taken. They had gone out to run some errands and another vehicle had swerved into their lane, hitting them head on. Amanda never had time to react in any meaningful way. It just happened too fast.

The cab pulled up to the Emergency Room Entrance, where he saw Olivia and Fin waiting for him. He tossed some cash onto the seat and dove out of the cab, frantically searching Olivia's face. "Where are they? Are they okay?"

Olivia gently grasped Carisi's arms, meeting his eyes. "Jesse's fine," she told him, though her voice held a telltale tremor. "Just a few scrapes and bruises. She's fine. Do you hear me, Sonny?"

He swallowed thickly and tried to nod. "I...I hear you. But...what about Amanda? Tell me she's okay."

The older woman nearly flinched at the pleading in his voice. "It...it's bad. You need to prepare yourself, Sonny."

Prepare himself for what? Amanda was a fighter. Nothing was gonna take her out, least of all some stupid fender bender.

Pulling away from Olivia, Carisi strode into the Emergency Room. His hand shook as he reached into his pocket, pulling out his ID. "ADA Dominick Carisi," he barked at the startled woman behind the desk. "I need to know the condition of Amanda and Jesse Rollins, now."

He vaguely heard Olivia and Fin come to his side; he was simply too distracted to acknowledge them as he waited for the information he had demanded from the nurse.

Everything started to blur together as the nurse took him up to the Pediatric Ward after verifying his identity. He was the next of kin listed for both Amanda and Jesse and he thanked God for her foresight. He saw two nurses gathered around his tiny goddaughter, and his knees almost buckled when she called out to him.

"Uncle Sonny!"

He crossed the floor and swept her into his arms, burying his nose in her soft, golden tresses. "Jesse, my brave girl…" He rubbed her back in slow, soothing circles. "I'm here. I'm here."

One of the nurses who had been playing with Jesse informed him that she had no substantial injuries and that he could sign her out immediately. Without putting Jesse down, he signed all the necessary paperwork before making his way back down to the waiting room closest to the surgical theater. Jesse had wrapped herself around him like a koala and her head was tucked against his neck. He kissed her head and mumbled nonsensical reassurances as Olivia and Fin came back into sight.

No update had arrived on Amanda yet and Olivia quite insistently made him sit down in one of the chairs in the private waiting room. Fin offered to hold Jesse but Carisi waved him off with a weary hand. Jesse wasn't leaving his sight anytime soon if he could help it.

Olivia and Fin took seats near him, a silent display of support he was grateful for.

But the only support he wanted now was the knowledge Amanda was going to be fine.

Jesse soon fell asleep in his arms, her soft breaths warming his neck as he held her. She was three years old and he was all too aware he wouldn't be able to hold her like this forever. What he wouldn't have given to be snuggling her at home while Amanda slept against him and Frannie snored at his feet.

Of all the women he had ever known, Amanda was the easiest to love. She was so easy to love, in fact, that he didn't realize he had fallen head over heels until his world was flipped upside down and it was too late. Loving her hurt at times, sure, but he would take all of that for one of those smiles reserved just for him.

Please, Manda, don't leave us. Don't leave me.

He took a wet, shuddering breath as he began reciting a rosary, begging God not to take her from him. Not yet.

The door opened quietly and a doctor with a defeated expression stepped inside. He heard Olivia inhale softly, the ticking of the clock on the wall suddenly far too loud in his head.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Carisi. We did all we could, but the damage was too great."

The sweeping wave of grief crashed into him with violent force, stealing the breath from his lungs as he clung to Jesse.

This couldn't be happening.

If you love someone

And you're not afraid to lose them

You probably never loved someone

Like I do

Finis.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading.