Remus
When peeled open my droopy eyes for the first time I was still in a dreamy haze. I don't remember the dream but I know it was good because I shut my eyes and picked up right where I left off. I remember bits, like with most dreams, little sections of story and where there are blanks in the image an indescribable feeling of bliss fills in the plot holes.
Dreaming has always been my escape, from the terrors of my monthly transformations, or the long list of mistakes I've made in the day. My dreams are not pierced by my bad memories often like others, like my friend Sirius. I hear his thrashing, and crying out at night from the horrors of his mind and all I want to do is walk over and tell him "It's not real" and hold him until the pain passes, but alas that's not my fate. I know it is never meant to be, he's so confident and suave, he'd never care for me like I do him. He see's love as a way to get his way, and I know I can change that, but I don't think I'll ever get my chance; not unless he notices my glances or attempts to woo.
My brain's second attempt at bringing me to reality seemed to be a success as I sat up, looked at the clock, and realized I had missed breakfast by an hour. If breakfast is the most important meal of the day why is it so damn early! I swing my legs over the side of the bed and touch the glacial stone under my bed- in my dreams our dorm has a rug but that right was revoked after the second fire set by James. As I slowly make my way around the room collecting my things needed for this Saturday I hear the distinct footsteps of my fellow marauders treading up the dorm steps.
Wormtail nimbly hops stair to stair trying to keep up with the others athletic long strides. Peters never really seems to fit in with those too but I guess neither have I, but we don't care. As long as you can hold your own in one of Prong's elaborate pranks you've got friends for life.
Prongs steps on the other hand are large thuds as if a troll was heading your way. You'd think after years of sneaking around the castle he'd learn how to keep his heels from falling like a cinder block but he did not notice or care for that. And finally
Padfoot. As his name suggests he walks like little pillows are constantly following his every move. He makes delicate, consistent, strong steps discernible from anyone with a normal amount of insecurities. Sirius has an abnormal amount, to me and everyone around him he has none. He walks without a care in the world, but not arrogant. He listens, helps and this projection of true pride of who he was just makes me love him more.
I hear the steps getting closer and before I can toss my clean shirt on the door swings open. James stumbles in, walking backwards as the others follow, trying to swallow the (I'm sure) thousands of words James has put out this morning. Voices flood the room even if only 4 people are conjuring them it sounds like the great hall. They continue a discussion from breakfast, something about Sirius's indecisiveness when it comes to dates.
"Sirius you know you're my best mate but make up your mind, make a move o-" James turns and abruptly changes the conversation. Weird I think I thought Sirius was dating Patty Prince, who is he moving on to now?
"Remus, my comatose friend! How was that slumber of yours? We tried to wake you when we started to head down to breakfast but you were out like a light! Like a dead light." James started.
"I brought you some food," Sirius says and hands me a napkin filled with my favorite morning foods… Which is not much. A plain piece of toast, a handful of grapes, and a few sticks of bacon. "Wouldn't want you to miss the most important meal to the day!" (that is sort of our thing, I taught him that phrase last year… wait why am I telling you it's an inside joke). I'm not a morning person and if Sirius was never going to love me romantically it's nice to know he really cares about me through our friendship.
"Thanks Padfoot, nice to know you're thinking about my metabolism" I retorted.
"Gotta keep that slim figure somehow" he slaps back.
I pick at my food and get caught up on today's breakfast drama. Just the usual a breakup here, a thrown OJ there. That's one thing I'll never have to worry about, getting dumped at breakfast. I sit and look around at my friends, trying to look at each of them equally but I just kept getting lost in Sirius's eyes. The grey waters run deep through his glass like eyes with small bits of shiny silver peaking through. I could look in them for hours but I only have seconds before anyone realises I'm staring.
I enjoy my friends' company, our banter, it's one of the things I cherish most about this school. I know how I lucked out with my house but I always have the creeping suspicion that some fate was trying to screw me over by creating this irresistible hunk of a man in here for me to pine over and see everyday yet know, it will never be… unless… was that a wink? Did Sirius wink? I must have been staring again and there it was. My first sign. A sign to go on, to keep pushing and working towards giving him my love.
I will remember this moment forever.