BEATER 1: The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe: Write about someone hiding a big secret. / 6. (setting) nighttime / 8. (word) monster / 9. (relationship) father & daughter
Remus Lupin thought he knew how to judge consequences for his actions. He was a Werewolf, after all. It wasn't exactly a walk-in-the-park to figure out minimum damage of his behaviours when he had no control over the worst parts of himself once a month, turning into an actual literal monster…
But bloody hell did he ever overestimate his self-control.
To be fair, he didn't think it would be a good idea to go out drinking at a Muggle bar with Lily and the Marauders in the first place. Lily had just found out she was pregnant and wanted to celebrate that night. Of course, she wouldn't consume any alcohol herself, and she claimed that this bar in particular was amazing, so James had pleaded Remus to join him and Sirius. Peter agreed enthusiastically as soon as they suggested it, as usual, but Remus had hesitated. The last time he got drunk, as he reminded Sirius, he had almost turned into his… other form… without it being anywhere close to a full moon. And this night in particular would be close to one.
"Don't worry about it, Moony!" Sirius had scoffed. "What's the worst that could happen?"
He gets drunk and fucks a Muggle woman, that's what.
No, seriously, that's what happened.
She was beautiful; he still thinks that she's beautiful, honestly. He's only seen her once since that night, so far, but he could see it in her widened eyes that she remembered him, too.
And what's worse is that she had a child with her. A third-year, he had heard someone say loudly… the same age as Harry.
He stared at the child through the window for what seemed like forever, and then looked back at the woman. She was busy talking to her male companion – her husband, he assumed. She had mentioned having a fiancé before they had gotten too drunk to care.
She never made eye contact with him again, and he had no way of asking her the truth, even with an imperceptible nod of the head.
He sighed and sank back into the blankets around him as the train started to whistle.
How could he have been so stupid?! A child, with a Muggle woman! Would that even be possible without the child being a Werewolf?
And now he's going to have to teach this child Defense, and pretend like nothing ever happened nearly fourteen years ago.
He wished he could forget about it, but his wishes came to hit him in the face when he heard Harry of all people step into the compartment he was wallowing in with his two friends. He peeked through his blankets and nearly fainted when he realized that, while his one friend was no doubt one of Arthur Weasley's boys, the other was none other than that same child he had been staring at from the train window.
His child. Maybe.
When the Dementor entered the compartment several hours later, his first instinct was not to protect Harry, but to protect his daughter, even if she wasn't. The instinct to protect Harry came less than a moment later, and of course he would never want to piss off Molly Weasley by letting one of her sons be hurt – but this could be his little girl, even if she didn't know it. He cast a Patronus charm thinking of the possibility she would accept him as her dad, and it worked wonderfully. He knew he would never be able to use that thought again, because even immediately after the Dementor left he became overwhelmed with self-doubt and self-hatred.
Him? Remus John Lupin, a father? Not a chance. Besides the rumoured infertility of a Werewolf, he knew he would never make any kind of decent role model. He knows he's a coward, a failure, a monster…
"Professor Lupin?"
Hermione Granger's voice interrupted him from his reminiscing thoughts, and brought him back to the present time.
Standing by the lake, by himself, not even half a month into the term, on a Sunday evening, and who happens by but the little girl herself.
"Miss Granger." He replies with a cheerful tone that seems to fool her into thinking he's not standing there having an existential crisis. "You should be in the Great Hall for dinner. What can I do for you?"
"Erm… Well, my mother sent me a letter today, because it's my birthday –"
He almost chokes. Nine months after mid-December would make… "Well, happy birthday then, Miss Granger."
She grins. "Thanks, Professor." The grin falls rather quickly as she continues. "It's just that – well, it's rather odd – she gave me a letter to give to you."
He feigns shock as best as he can, and he isn't sure she's buying it. "Me, Miss Granger? I'm not sure you –"
"Do you know my mother, Professor Lupin?"
"I…" Had she read the letter? What does it even say?
"Here." She holds out the letter with an unreadable expression. "I haven't read it."
Merlin, is this girl part Legilimens?
He takes it from her and opens it.
Dear Remus,
It's been a rather long time, wouldn't you say? Nearly fourteen years since I saw your scarred face. I'd know you anywhere, even through a train window. You look handsome as ever, but I'll be damned if you don't look over two decades older than the last time I saw you. I know what happened to James and Lily because of Hermione – I'm sorry, Remus, truly. I know they were your best friends. And I heard recently about what happened with Sirius, too, and Peter. I can't imagine how you've been feeling all this time. I wish I could have been there for you. I should have been. But I had no idea how to find you.
I wish I had known. I truly wish I had known how to have found you, because then I could have told you about Hermione. She's your daughter, Remus. Not John's. He only found out the truth once she started showing signs of magic. We were told she was Muggleborn, and that these things do happen… But I couldn't keep it from him. He was angry, of course, that I had never told him what happened. He was more angry about not knowing the truth than that we had slept together in the first place. But I suppose he's always going to be as passive as ever, and he quickly forgave me, and he still treats Hermione like she's his own flesh and blood.
Hermione doesn't know. I think she's suspected something is off, but I can't quite figure out how. I don't know if you Wizards can read minds or whatever, so I might just be paranoid. She's been acting a bit off since last summer when we went to meet a ton of John's family. We asked her not to talk about her academic career at Hogwarts, or about her being a witch, and she questioned why since she was part of the family. She said that she was told by one of her Hogwarts professors that many Muggleborns actually descend from 'Squibs', which she said were children of Wizards who had no magic. We assured her that her family still loved her, but that the 'Squibs' were probably on my side of the family since John's family is very anti-magic. We only ended up staying one night because their comments made her cry.
Remus nearly crushes the letter with his hands reading that last sentence, but the top of his gaze catches Hermione's worried face – unaware that he was looking at her at all – and he restrains himself so he wouldn't scare her.
I know that makes us seem like horrible parents but Hermione wanted us to stay. She insisted she could change their minds by being gentle and talking nicely about witches and wizards without telling her she is one of them. It reminded me so much of the way you talked about Lily Potter that I couldn't let her down. But after she crawled into our bed because she was scared to sleep alone, we left the next day.
That makes Remus feel a bit better.
I digress, but I believe I've made my point. Hermione needs mentors in the Magical world. She needs family in the Magical world. I know she has her friends – one of them I was surprised to learn is none other than Lily and James' little boy – but that's not the same. It's not the same for her to have the professors either. She needs you, Remus.
I know you think yourself a monster and you think you're not worthy of being a father because of your own childhood. You talked a lot when you were drunk, Remus, after we'd been together. You're a bit of a weepy drinker. It may not have actually been a full moon, but you were sensitive and vulnerable, and honestly it helped for you be close to the full moon because it made for a great night.
Remus' face flushes and Hermione raises her eyebrows, but says nothing.
Regardless of all that, I need you to be there for her. Even though, and especially since, I wasn't there for you. She needs you, Remus, despite how you feel about yourself. Despite how you think the world views you, it's not just about you anymore. This is about Hermione, and about what's best for her. That's how parenting works.
I know you can help her because I saw you on that train. Hermione's friend's brother, Percy I think his name was, said that sometimes professors ride the train. I figured that must mean you would be able to be there for her. I need you to be there when I am not. She's entered your world, and is leaving mine. I can't protect her anymore. I need you just as much as she does, for her sake.
Please take care of her, Remus.
Irene Granger
Remus stays silent for a moment. He looks up at Hermione, who is staring at him with such intensity that he wondered – for the third time that night, thanks to Irene's letter – if she really did have some Legilimens abilities.
"What did my mother say?" She inquires.
He takes a deep breath. "Well… Miss Granger, I…" He has no idea how to continue.
"How do you know my mother?" She continues, almost irritated. "What was she writing to you about?"
"Miss Granger…"
"And why does it seem like she's been hiding something from me ever since she saw you on the train?"
How did she even know that? "Miss Granger, I can explain –"
"Please, Professor. Explain. I'm rather desperate to hear it." Hermione sounds angry, and she crosses her arms over her chest. "Maybe it'll help me understand everything else in my life better, because for once I might hear the truth out of somebody!"
"I –" He freezes. "Miss Granger, do you feel like people are lying to you?"
Hermione doesn't reply immediately. "Sometimes," she answers vaguely. "I just get these… intuitions. I think that people aren't being truthful, or that they're hiding something, or that they've got something they want to say but they don't. I learned at a young age that if I point that out to anybody they get uncomfortable and angry."
Remus thinks for a moment. "I had an uncle who was naturally skilled in Legilimensy. You might have a gift."
"What would your uncle have to do with me?" Hermione raises an eyebrow.
He mentally smacks himself. "Erm…"
"Are we related, Professor Lupin?"
"Well…" He sighs. "That's what your mother was writing about."
"I knew it!" She pumps her fist in the air excitedly. "I knew I had to be related to a real wizard. I just knew it!" She leans in closer to him with a sparkle in her eyes that reminded him of when her mother found out he was a wizard. "So how are we related? Are you my uncle? My cousin?"
"Actually, Hermione…"
Her face betrays very little of her feelings, but the sudden change from 'Miss Granger' to 'Hermione' threw her train of though off its tracks. She stares at him, waiting for an answer to every question she's never asked.
"I'm your father."