Note: If you're celebrating, happy Easter :)
Yukine studied his hand, holding it up to watch the sun's rays filter through his fingers from the open window. It looked perfectly normal. It felt perfectly normal. He felt perfectly normal.
But he had changed.
He couldn't recall what had happened between the time Bishamon had brought her great sword down on him and when he had regained consciousness in Yato's hands as two swords. There had been fear, a desperation to protect Yato like he had asked, the knowledge that he could not survive such a direct hit. There had been a moment of blinding pain, and then nothing.
But he had survived, against all odds. And he was changed.
It was a change he couldn't discern by sight. He looked exactly as he always had, felt no more or less like himself. The transformation to hafuri was beyond skin-deep.
Yato's pride was gratifying, but Yukine had not forgotten his brush with death. He had not forgotten Yato's brush with death, nor Hiyori's. Not even Bishamon's or Kazuma's.
The whole incident at Bishamon's manor left a bitter taste in his mouth despite their victory. Suzuha was still dead. Yato and Hiyori and Yukine had all fallen prey to a madman's scheme and nearly died.
Aside from that, things had resolved themselves nicely. Yukine was a hafuri now, although he had yet to learn all the ins and outs of what that meant. Hiyori had been rescued and shown up in the nick of time. Kazuma had presumably reconciled with Bishamon by now and been reinstated as her guidepost. Kuguha's mad schemes had been thwarted. The truth about Yato's role in the deaths of Bishamon's shinki all those years ago had finally come out…more or less. Maybe Bishamon would even get it through her thick skull not to attack Yato every time she ran across him, although Yukine hardly trusted her enough to be sure of it.
Everything seemed to be in order, but there was one last thing left unresolved that still bothered him, outside of his lingering grief for Suzuha and curiosity about his new form. There was also the matter of whether someone else had conspired with Kuguha in his quest to reincarnate Bishamon, but Yukine wouldn't even know where to start with that and it seemed like everyone else had let it go for now.
What Yukine really wanted to know was the full explanation behind Yato's involvement with Bishamon and her shinki. When Kazuma had interrupted their fight, he had told Bishamon that he was the one who asked Yato to kill her shinki. Before, when she exiled him, Kazuma had told Bishamon that Yato was her benefactor, had saved her.
This was at odds with everything Yato had ever said on the subject, not that it amounted to much. He had only ever shrugged off questions, keeping silent on the topic and accepting Bishamon's attempts to eviscerate him, or said he'd killed her shinki because he 'felt like it'. Yukine had assumed Yato murdered them in cold blood and kept him at an arm's length for it, but there was obviously more to the story.
He would hardly ask Yato directly. The idiot never gave a straight answer anyway, and it didn't sound like a fun conversation. But it seemed to him that Hiyori had discovered something in her time held captive that made her look at Yato differently. Something that had altered her opinion of his guilt and made her hold him back from following Bishamon after.
Yukine might not want to confront Yato, but he had no such qualms about badgering Hiyori.
He dropped his hand and focused back on the sheet of math problems in front of him. He would figure out what it meant to be a hafuri later and ferret out Yato's secrets once Hiyori arrived. Until then, he would do his schoolwork and bide his time.
He had nearly made it through his assigned problems when Hiyori knocked twice on the open door to announce her presence and walked into the room.
"It's going to have to be a quick lesson today," she said by way of greeting. She checked her phone, a disgruntled look on her face, before sitting down beside him.
"Busy day?" Yukine asked.
"Hoping to get out of here before Yato shows up. I'm currently leading him on a wild goose chase across the city via text message, but sooner or later he'll wise up. He's been harassing me nonstop since…"
She trailed off, a blush creeping across her face.
Since Tenjin had told Yato to cut her ties and she had said she wanted to stay with him longer. Yato had become extraordinarily clingy all of a sudden, and that was saying something since he was clingy enough at the best of times.
"Actually," Yukine said, "speaking of that, I want to ask you something."
Hiyori's cheeks darkened from dusty rose to ripe tomato. "I didn't mean–"
"Not that. It's about Yato and Bishamon's shinki. Do you know the whole story now? I thought Kazuma might have told you something…"
"Oh." Hiyori tapped a finger to her lips, and her brows drew together in a frown. "Yes, actually. I asked Kazuma about it while we were trapped, and he told me. Or, I thought it must have been only a matter of time before Yato and Bishamon faced off if he had killed all her shinki before, and he corrected me."
"So what happened, exactly?"
"Well…" Hiyori's phone chimed with an incoming text, and she typed out a response before flipping it facedown on the table. "He said that Bishamon had become blighted, and no one could figure out who caused it. They turned on each other, throwing around accusations and forcing ablutions on everyone. As she got worse…they even killed each other.
"Kazuma had heard of Yato as a local magatsukami and went to him for help. He begged Yato to wipe out the clan to save Bishamon. When they got back… The whole clan had merged into one giant ayakashi, and Bishamon was on death's doorstep. Yato killed the ayakashi to save her. Kazuma was the only one left."
Yukine shivered. If he let himself think too hard, he could still recall the feeling of weaving drunkenly back and forth across the line, nearly succumbing to his sins and becoming an ayakashi himself during his own ablution. It was a fate he wouldn't wish on anyone, and even the thought made his skin crawl. And for an entire clan to cross the line at the same time? He still remembered how close Yato had come to dying, how Kazuma had urged him to kill Yukine and save himself. Yukine couldn't imagine what multiple fallen shinki might do to their god.
"But if they were ayakashi," Yukine said, "why did Bishamon hate him so much? There's no way to save them once they cross the line… The best he could have done was kill them to save her."
The thought of killing something—even an ayakashi—that had once been a shinki like him turned Yukine's stomach, but even he could see the necessity.
Hiyori shrugged and looked down at her hands. "I don't know. She loved them, I guess. She didn't want to give up on them."
"But if they had already become ayakashi…"
"I don't know. Yato didn't want to give up on you either. Whatever the case, she still blamed him for killing them. Yato never told her that Kazuma asked him to."
And neither had Kazuma. Not until he had thrown himself into Bishamon's path to stop her rampage and admitted the truth.
Yukine pressed his hands to his eyes. He could feel a headache coming on. He didn't understand Bishamon's senseless grudge, nor Yato's reluctance to tell the truth when it would have exonerated him.
"What an idiot," he grumbled. "You'd think he could have said something to stop Bishamon from trying to kill him every time they crossed paths. And why didn't he tell us the truth? We knew he killed her shinki. All he ever told me when I asked was that he 'felt like it'. Why not be honest? The truth would only make him look better."
"I don't pretend to understand him," Hiyori grumbled. "It sure would have made things easier. I was definitely wary after hearing about it. He could have cleared the air. But… I don't know. Maybe he didn't really expect us to stay, anyway."
"We would have been more likely to stay if he told us he wasn't a murderous lunatic who slaughtered another god's shinki for no reason."
"Sometimes I think he deliberately makes himself look bad, although I couldn't say why." Hiyori sighed through her nose and looked grim. "That doesn't mean he's entirely innocent, though. Kazuma knew him as a magatsukami, and Kofuku says he's killed people."
"I know. Still, he's not like that now, right? I guess it's good that even at his worst, he still helped someone."
Hiyori watched her phone vibrate incessantly and clatter against the tabletop. "Yeah. That's why I didn't want him to go after Bishamon—he already sacrificed a lot to help her last time. No need to play the bad guy and take all the blame again. I hope that now that the truth is out, they can reconcile. Or that Bishamon will stop hunting him, at least."
"Maybe," Yukine said. He hoped Bishamon left them alone too, but he wasn't holding his breath for any kind of reconciliation. He wasn't sure the thoughtful look on Hiyori's face was a good sign.
"Maybe he'll be more open with us now that he knows we're going to stay," she added optimistically. "Becoming a hafuri is basically like pledging eternal loyalty, right? And I told him not to cut my ties. If he knows we plan to stick with him, maybe he'll stop acting like he expects us to take off at any second."
Yukine privately held doubts. For all Yato yammered on, he was surprisingly close-mouthed when it came to personal matters and sensitive topics. Yukine felt he deserved some measure of confidence if he was going to be Yato's hafuri, but whether or not Yato would actually confide in him remained to be seen.
Despite his misgivings, Yukine was relieved to hear this new version of what had happened between Yato and Bishamon so many years ago. Yukine might have sacrificed himself to protect Yato even while thinking the worst, but he was glad to know his loyalty was not as misguided as it might have seemed.
Yato was an idiot, but somehow he had wormed his way into Yukine's heart anyway. Yukine hoped to one day inspire the same confidence in Yato.
"Don't eat it all," Hiyori said, slapping Yato's hand away from the food spread across the checkered blanket covering the grass. He had already managed to make a sizable dent in the five seconds she'd taken her eyes off him. "Save some for everyone else."
Yukine's eyebrows jumped up his forehead and disappeared beneath a fringe of sandy hair. "Everyone?"
"Yes…" Hiyori twisted her hands in her lap. "I actually invited some guests to join us."
"Who?" Yato asked. And then, "Shouldn't we still get first dibs on the food since we're your favorites?"
"You," Hiyori grumbled, looking skyward, "are lucky to be invited at all."
"But who–?"
"Bishamon?" Yukine interrupted as the war goddess and her shinki appeared across the field. He and Yato were on their feet in an instant.
Yato spat out a curse and made an abortive movement toward a nonexistent sword. Hiyori hurried to intervene before he actually summoned Yukine and landed them in hot water.
"I'm glad you could join us!" she said. More quietly, she added to Yato, "This is your chance to reconcile with her once and for all."
Not that Bishamon looked any keener than Yato to lay old grudges to rest. Her pupils had slitted to those of a hunting cat, and her murderous expression was frozen in stone. Hiyori glimpsed everything falling apart in much the same way someone might see their life flash before their eyes.
Yato sniffed in disdain. "Who would want to reconcile with that–?"
"Bishamon." Yukine stepped to the side in one deliberate movement, half blocking Yato from view. The look on his face was even colder than Bishamon's. "This sakura tree is blooming today because of the dedication Suzuha showed in caring for it. Should you find these blossoms beautiful, please enjoy your stay with us. But if you're here to harass Yato, turn around and leave now."
One of Bishamon's shinki exclaimed at Yukine's nerve speaking so boldly and had to be restrained. Everyone else seemed frozen, holding their breath to see if the thin ice below their feet would crack or hold.
Bishamon looked away first, her eyes softening as she looked up at the branches fanning delicate pink blossoms overhead.
"These are lovely blossoms," she said finally. And, more quietly, "We are all gathered here today for you, Suzuha."
Hiyori let out her breath as the tension eased, even if Yato and Bishamon were at each other's throats only moments later. It was a start, at least. She could hardly expect them to become best friends overnight.
"Good job," she whispered to Yukine.
He turned pink and looked away, but his mouth was still pinched tight. It must be hard for him, with his friend's memory lingering so heavily in the scent of cherry blossoms perfuming the air. Especially if he still blamed Bishamon for Suzuha's demise.
Even so, Hiyori warmed with pride at how he'd stuck up for Yato, when barely weeks ago he would have happily joined in hounding the god to his grave. They'd come a long way. Learning the truth about Yato's past dealings with Bishamon seemed to have cemented the loyalty he had given without thought while they were on the brink of catastrophe. Loyalty of heart and mind.
Hiyori had high hopes for how far those two would go—even higher than for a potential reconciliation with Bishamon.
She caught Yato throwing another wistful glance at the sakura tree spreading its blushing boughs above them and smiled. By now, he must have realized that she and Yukine were here to stay. Although he was a bit dull sometimes.
If he hadn't yet, he would soon enough.
Bishamon was not supposed to be wandering the lower realm alone at night. Kazuma would have kittens if he knew she was strolling the ayakashi-ridden streets without a single shinki to back her up, but what he didn't know couldn't hurt him. She smiled at the thought of her poised, somewhat uptight guidepost juggling a litter of kittens in the midst of an apoplectic fit of pique. It was good to have him back, even with the hard truths he carried with him. She no longer knew how to live without him guiding her.
Her fond and lighthearted thoughts faded to gray as she stepped out of the warren of streets and onto the grassy lawn. Her steps slowed as she picked her way down the embankment, toward the cherry tree that stood cloaked in shadow and moonlight. The night leached out the bright colors, the emerald hue of the grass and soft pink of the blossoms, and left the area shrouded in darkness and silver-gray moonshadow befitting of a grave.
In the daylight, the sakura tree stood as a beautiful memorial to everything Suzuha had lived for. At night, it was the gravesite and mausoleum of his death. Bishamon had already visited to honor his life, and she would pay her respects for his death as well.
The food and drink she'd consumed at the picnic earlier congealed in her stomach and sat heavy as stone. Guilt could curdle even the finest of meals.
The tree shone ghostly in the moonlight, gleaming silver and twisting into shadow, blossoms rustling and sighing in the breeze. She could imagine Suzuha with his hand pressed to the rough bark, Suzuha seized with fear as the ayakashi closed in, Suzuha crying out for help that never came. It was harder to see Suzuha smiling and tending his favorite tree with care here in the darkness, when Bishamon's failure loomed large enough to eclipse the moon.
The air was thick and clotted, but she drew in a breath until it filled her lungs and calcified. She owed Suzuha this much: a moment of the attention she'd hardly spared him in life.
She made it nearly to the base of the broken trunk before realizing she wasn't alone and snapping out of her thoughts. A shadowy figure already stood beneath the tree's spreading branches, in the undulating lattice of shadow the rustling blossoms cast on the ground. The figure was slight and still and drew no attention to itself, but stood out by virtue of its stillness against the breeze-touched shadows around it.
"Hey!" Bishamon said sharply. A human wouldn't take note, but she was willing to bet it wasn't human. Nothing good could lurk in the nighttime shadows beneath the tree where Suzuha had died.
The figure turned, and a pair of bright blue eyes—god's eyes, brighter than jewels and lit from within no matter the surrounding darkness—gleamed in the moonlight. Bishamon had only ever seen one pair of eyes that glittered so brightly.
Yato growled a curse and stepped back.
"What are you doing here?" Bishamon asked.
"Nothing," he snapped. His eyes flickered across her face and body, assessing. They never looked away or blinked. "Just leaving."
Bishamon sniffed. "Calm down. I'm unarmed."
"Must be my lucky day." He slid backwards another step, eyes still fixed on her, searching out any sign of movement.
"I'm not going to kill you," she grumbled, somewhat reluctantly. Even if he might deserve it after all the stunts he'd pulled at the picnic.
"As if you could," he muttered, inching a step further out of the moonlight and into the shadows. He moved slowly, stealthily, as if she might not notice him disappearing one centimeter at a time.
"Like I had been trying to say earlier, it wasn't your fault, what happened. If anything, it was mine."
Yato sniffed loudly, and Bishamon bristled at his disdain.
"You're sure good at holding grudges," he said. "Let it go. They made mistakes too. I cleaned up after them. You were left behind. Shit happens. Quit moping and get a move on."
"You're insufferable," Bishamon ground out through gritted teeth. She didn't know why she had bothered trying to apologize. Except that he had saved her life and she had abused him cruelly for it, and it didn't sit well with her now that her failings were shoved directly in her face. "But it was silly of me to blame you for killing them when they had already killed themselves, I suppose."
He shrugged. "You could hear them crying out, begging you to save them. You loved them. It's enough to drive anyone a little crazy. Although you're still totally psychotic."
Bishamon started, the echoes of ghostly cries ringing in her ears louder than memory. "You could hear them?"
Yato looked at her as if she were a bug that had just crawled out from beneath a rock. "Of course not. They weren't my shinki. But you could hear them, couldn't you?"
For just an instant, his gaze flicked to the sakura tree and seemed to soften.
"Yes, but…" Bishamon shook her head, not sure what to make of him. "What are you really doing out here?"
Yato's gaze snapped back to her face, cold and unfriendly, and tension lined every muscle of his body. He still expected her to attack him, even without a weapon anywhere in sight. Bishamon supposed she couldn't blame him. They never had civil conversations, and every encounter devolved into swords and pistols.
"Just passing by," he snapped. "And now I'm leaving."
"I don't like you," Bishamon said. "You're infuriating and we have a history that's hard to overlook. But I'm tired of chasing scapegoats. Truce?"
Yato looked her up and down, suspicion gleaming bright in his eyes. "If you'd like," he said. "Truce. But for the record, I don't like you either."
He began walking backward again. There was no softening of his posture. He didn't believe her, not yet.
Bishamon turned away, trying to look non-threatening, but her skin prickled in warning at the foolishness of turning her back on an enemy. Yato had never attacked her without provocation except for when he had thought she kidnapped his human follower, but old habits died hard.
When she risked a glance over her shoulder, Yato was gone. She relaxed a hair. She doubted they'd ever be friends and still bore centuries' worth of resentment, however unjustified, but maybe it was a step in the right direction. An easing of hostilities.
Still, she was glad he was gone for the night.
She approached Suzuha's tree again and pressed her palm to the rough bark. She had failed her shinki many times over, but things were changing. She would no longer hide behind scapegoats and grudges and false smiles.
"Things are going to get better, Suzuha," she murmured to the night. "We are going to get better. And you are going to guide me there."
Note: I was rereading some chapters the other day and had apparently forgotten about that great moment at the picnic where Yukine stares Bishamon down and tells her to honor Suzuha or get out if she's just going to pick on Yato. And that was really the only reason for this, although I also live for the part with Bishamon lol