[DISCLAIMER: All of the people listed are fictional personas of real people. My writing about them is no different than writing about Hermione Granger and using Emma Watson's appearance. The views of the characters may not always be the same as mine or the people who play them.]
if you see a prompt you like, lmk and i'll get to it as soon as i can. if you want one that isn't listed, i will consider it but i make no promises. i'll definitely write anything on this list, though :)
Dream: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is, because you're not going to like it
Sapnap: Just rip the bandage off.
Dream: It's George.
Sapnap: Put the bandage back on.
Wilbur: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Tommy: Plane tickets?
Tubbo: Concert tickets?
Techno: Prostitution?
Wilbur, holding his broken frames: Glasses.
Tommy: I think Wilbur was right.
Philza: I'm surprised he haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
Techno: They wouldn't do that.
Wilbur: You're right, Techno. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.
Wilbur: *turns around, the shirt he're wearing says 'Wilbur Told You So' on the back*
Tommy: *Screams*
Philza: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Techno: Should we do something?
Wilbur: No, I want to see who wins.
Wilbur: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress
Wilbur: Croissants: dropped
Philza: Road: works ahead
Techno: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Wilbur: Shavacado: fre
Tubbo: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Ranboo:
Ranboo, grumpy: I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you
Wilbur: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
Philza: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Techno: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Philza, learn to listen.
Wilbur: What if it bites itself and I die?
Tubbo: That's voodoo.
Ranboo: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Philza: That's correlation, not causation.
Wilbur: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Tubbo: That's kinky.
Wilbur: Oh my God.
Tubbo: What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Tommy: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Ranboo: Smad.
Tubbo: Hey Tommy,
Tommy: Yes?
Tubbo: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?
Tommy:
Tommy: Where's Ranboo?
Niki: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?
Techno: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, Ranboo?
Ranboo: Probably "road work ahead".
Philza: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
Niki: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Techno: Not if he consent to it.
Ranboo: Depends who you're stabbing.
Philza: YES?!
Niki: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Techno: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Ranboo: I got distracted about halfway through.
Philza: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Niki, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Techno, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Ranboo, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Philza, trembling: What are we playing
Tubbo: This is a mistake
Ranboo, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!
Tubbo: But not today
Ranboo, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess
Tubbo: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Ranboo: What did you do?
Tubbo: Nobody died.
Ranboo: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Tubbo: I've already sent good vibes your way… he're coming. There's nothing you can do to stop them.
Ranboo: This is the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up.
Tubbo: Tell Ranboo about the birds and the bees.
Tommy: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.
Tubbo: If Ranboo and I were drowning, who would you save?
Tommy: You two can't swim?
Ranboo: It's a hypothetical question, Tommy! who would you save?
Tommy: my time and effort.
Tubbo, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Ranboo: You did WHAT–
Tommy: William Snakepeare
Tubbo: Ranboo and I don't use pet names.
Tommy: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Tubbo: Honey?
Ranboo: Yes, dear?
Tubbo:
Tommy: Don't ever lie to my face again.
Tubbo: Okay, truth or dare?
Tommy: Truth
Tubbo: How many hours have you slept this week?
Tommy:
Tommy: ...Dare
Tubbo: Go to bed.
Tommy: I don't like this game.
Tubbo: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Tommy:
Tommy: Tubbo, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
Tubbo: *Sips coffee from bowl*
Tubbo: What is your biggest weakness?
Tommy: I can be uncooperative.
Tubbo: Okay, can you give me an example?
Tommy: No.
Ranboo: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Tommy: That's why I carry two swords.
Ranboo: So that's my plan.
Tommy: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.
Ranboo: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Tommy: It fucking sucks.
Ranboo: That's not constructive criticism.
Ranboo: Tommy...
Tommy: Oh no, 'Tommy' in b-flat.
Tommy: You're disappointed.
Dream: Am I going too far?
Tommy: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.
Wilbur: What's up guys? I'm back.
Tommy: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.
Wilbur: Death is a social construct.
Wilbur, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Tommy: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.
Wilbur: Listen, I can explain...
Tommy: You're making $500,000 and you're only gonna pay me $30,000?
Tubbo: You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting $1,000!
Techno: You guys are getting paid?
Wilbur: Can I be frank with you guys?
Tommy: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is gonna help.
Tubbo: Can I still be Tubbo?
Techno: Shh, let Frank speak.
Wilbur: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Tommy: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Tubbo: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Techno: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
Wilbur: Tommy isn't answering his phone
Tubbo: I'll call
Wilbur: Techno and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Tommy: Hello?
Wilbur: Yo is Techno sleeping or dead?
Tommy: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.
Tubbo: Yeah, so did I.
Techno: Okay first of all, fuck you-
Wilbur: We need to distract these guys
Tommy: Leave it to me
Tommy: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Tubbo, Techno, and Niki: *Immediately begin arguing*
Ranboo, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
Wilbur: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Tommy: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Tubbo: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Techno: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Niki: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Ranboo:
Ranboo: I have emotional scars.
Wilbur: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Tommy: Nope, absolutely not.
Tubbo: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Techno: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Niki: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Ranboo: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.
*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*
Wilbur: Thanks fam!
Tommy: oh no
Tubbo: *cries* I love you too
Techno: Sounds fake but okay
Niki: *A flustered mess*
Ranboo: can i get a refund
Wilbur: I CAN'T DO IT!
Tommy, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Wilbur: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Tubbo: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Wilbur:
Wilbur: I appreciate it,
Wilbur: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Techno: Wilbur-
Wilbur: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Niki: Wilbur we gotta-
Wilbur: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Wilbur: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Wilbur, motioning to Ranboo: NOT FUCKING THIS
Wilbur: Hewwo.
Ranboo: Hihiiiiii!
Tubbo: Greetings, Humans.
Niki: Three kinds of people.
Techno: I want pudding.
Wilbur: Four kinds of people.
Tommy: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Niki: Five kinds of people.
Wilbur: What does 'take out' mean?
Ranboo: Food.
Tubbo: Dating
Techno: Murder
Tommy: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.
Wilbur: I'm an idiot.
Ranboo:
Tubbo:
Techno:
Tommy:
Wilbur:
Ranboo: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
Wilbur: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?
Ranboo: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it.
Wilbur: Three of us saw it, Ranboo. How do you explain that?
Ranboo: *points at Tubbo* Sleep deprivation. *points at Techno* Paranoia. *points at Tommy* Delusional personality disorder.
Wilbur: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Tubbo will and will not eat.
Ranboo: Grass? Yes!
Wilbur: Moss? Yes!
Ranboo: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Wilbur: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Ranboo: Worms? Sometimes!
Wilbur: Rocks? Usually nah.
Ranboo: Twigs? Usually!
Wilbur: Tommy's cooking? Inconclusive!
Techno: How did you… test this?
Wilbur: You just hand him stuff and say 'eat this' and if he eats it, he eats it.
Techno: ... I don't know how to feel about this.
Tommy: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
Wilbur: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Ranboo: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Tubbo: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Techno: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Tommy: My moral code, is that you?
Wilbur:
Wilbur: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
Wilbur: Anyone d-
Ranboo: Depressed?
Tubbo: Drained?
Techno: Dumb?
Tommy: Disliked?
Wilbur: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people …
Techno: I'd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
Dream: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
Dream: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.
Ranboo: How petty can you get?
Tubbo: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
Ranboo, tending to Tubbo's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Tubbo: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
Ranboo: .. .-. - / ... - .-. .-. -.- [translation: I'M SORRY]
Tubbo: What's that?
Ranboo: Remorse code.
Tubbo: I'm even angrier now.
Ranboo, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!
Tubbo: How?
Ranboo: How what?
Tubbo: How could they be worse?
Ranboo: They couldn't, I lied.
Tubbo:
Tommy, standing with his back turned: I've been expecting you, Tubbo.
Tubbo: How did you do that without turning around?
Tommy: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.
Tommy: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Tubbo: Go the fuck to sleep
Tommy: What gif I don't want to?
Tubbo: Fuck You
Tommy: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Tubbo, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Tommy: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I've killed anybody. I'm not an arsonist. I've never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Tubbo: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.
Tommy: Welcome, fellow idiots
Tubbo: Hello, Tommy
Tommy: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Tubbo: You underestimate me
Tommy: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Tubbo: I'm guessing he are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away.
Tommy: Death isn't real, and I'm basically God.
Tommy: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
Tubbo: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before he speak
-Tommy: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Tubbo: I do have a sense of humor you know
Tommy: I've never heard you laugh before
Tubbo: I've never heard you say anything funny
Tommy: Here's some advice
Tubbo: I didn't ask for any
Tommy: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me
Tommy: Tubbo and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Tubbo: Sentences.
Tommy: Don't interrupt me.
Tommy: Ok, maybe playing 'whose family is most dysfunctional' wasn't the best idea we've had. Tubbo's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out…
Tommy: How many kids do you have?
Tubbo: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
Tommy: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Tubbo: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
Tommy: You love me, right, Tubbo?
Tubbo: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.
Tommy: Tubbo... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Tubbo: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Tommy:
Tommy: I wrote sanitize, Tubbo.
Tommy: Hey Tubbo can I get a sip of your water?
Tubbo: It's not water.
Tommy: Vodka, I like your style!
Tubbo: It's vinegar.
Tommy: Wh-Wha-
Tubbo: It's vinegar, COWARD.
Tommy: I was arrested for being too cool.
Tubbo: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
Tommy: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday
Tubbo: Wednesay
Tommy: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible