Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I am just borrowing them for my own entertainment and, I hope, for that of a few like-minded friends.

The Legacy of Arkadia

Chapter 1

If only Helena hadn't chosen that exact moment to come into Main Mission. That thought was going to torment John Koenig over the coming days. If only….

She had rushed into the room after the red alert was triggered, completely unaware of what was taking place. At that precise moment Luke Ferro was brandishing a laser and demanding an Eagle and three years' worth of stores and supplies so that he and Anna Davis could return to settle on the planet of Arkadia. Luke and Anna seemed to have become completely obsessed with the notion after being part of the recent reconnaissance mission which had discounted Arkadia as a possible home for the Alphans. Koenig had already told them that it was completely out of the question; disappointingly, Arkadia had proved to be a dead world.

He was trying to resist their threats and to negotiate but the situation had escalated into something even more serious when Luke had grabbed Helena and restrained her, his arm around her neck, pressing the weapon against her and threatening to kill her if he didn't get his way.

"Luke, if you get what you're demanding, you'll be condemning Alpha and all of us - to certain death," said Victor, trying to reason with him.

Even Helena agreed, despite her terror. "He's asking too much, John," she said, her voice shaking.

Victor pulled Koenig to one side and stated in a low voice, "Those supplies are vital to us, regardless of whose life is at stake, including Helena's."

At that moment, John actually felt anger towards his old friend and mentor. He was well aware of the facts and didn't need them spelt out quite so painfully. "Don't you think I know that, Victor?"

Helena's eyes were on the man she loved, trusting him implicitly, pleading with him to make the right decision whilst knowing he would be fighting a battle within himself - just what was the right decision?

As Commander of the base his head told him he could not put the wellbeing of one person above that of his other three hundred-plus personnel and he certainly wouldn't have accepted it if he had been one of those three hundred. He couldn't allow himself a privilege he would deny another.

But as John, the man, whose heart was telling him something quite different, the right thing to do was to protect Helena even if it meant giving in to Ferro's unreasonable demands. The bastard was welcome to the whole damn fleet of Eagles if it kept her safe.

He had to ask himself, what decision would he make if it was someone other than Helena being held at gunpoint?

He'd long accepted that entering into a relationship with her could render him vulnerable if there was ever a conflict between his feelings for her and his duty to Alpha but he'd prayed that situation would never arise…..

Falling in love was the last thing he'd expected when he was posted back to Alpha in September 1999 and he hadn't heard good reports from his predecessor about Dr Helena Russell. He'd been sent there to oversee the launch of the Meta Probe amid reports of a possible virus affecting the astronauts and with the eyes of the world trained on the mission and the enormous financial and political investment in the project, it had to be a success. It was Victor who insisted he talk to Helena about her findings because Commander Gorski had been obstructive and wouldn't let her submit her reports. He found out later that the reasons for that were not only because Gorski did not want the seriousness of the situation to be revealed to his superiors but it had also been out of spite as Helena had rejected Gorski's amorous advances.

John also hadn't expected the shock he received to his system as he walked into her office and their eyes met for the first time. There was the immediate physical attraction, he had no idea that she was such a beautiful woman but something powerful passed between them in that moment, she'd since admitted to him that she'd felt it too…and slowly, from an initial wariness of each other grew mutual respect, trust, friendship and something more. Much more.

Then came their encounter with the planet Terra Nova and Helena's husband or at least the entity purporting to be Helena's husband. It was only when his antipathy towards Lee Russell forced John to examine his feelings did comprehension dawn, he had fallen deeply and hopelessly in love with her. After the moon had moved on and Terra Nova had faded to just another speck in the heavens, he was honest with Helena about how he felt and was overjoyed to discover his feelings were reciprocated. He thought he must be the luckiest man in the universe.

Now he found himself in the worst position imaginable, having to decide between the survival of the whole base and the safety of the woman he loved. He couldn't be certain that any plan to get the supplies back to Alpha if Helena was released would be successful, he couldn't take that chance. If the power loss remained stable at 50% they could survive but it would be difficult and they'd need those supplies as they'd be unable to make up the shortfall under those conditions.

He felt the glaring eyes of all those present in Main Mission slicing into him like knives, of course the crew understood the personal cost to their Commander and they sympathised. Nobody wanted to see Helena Russell harmed but one person could not be protected to the detriment of so many others. They waited anxiously to see what his response would be.

Helena, just hang on in there, I've got this… He desperately tried to will some reassurance to her.

He wasn't entirely sure whether Luke Ferro really had it in him to carry out the threat and Koenig decided he was going to have to call his bluff; he had no choice.

Forgive me, my love…

"No, Ferro, I cannot, I will not, submit to your demands. Now please release Doctor Russell. We can talk, we can put this behind us…."

He saw what came next as if in slow motion…

For a brief moment, confusion crossed Ferro's face. It wasn't the answer he was expecting in view of the fact that something so precious to the Commander was being threatened but then he seemed to renew his resolve, his features twisted into a scowl and he squeezed the trigger. The beam hit Helena at point blank range, her body arched upwards with the shock, then like a puppet whose strings had been cut, she collapsed to the floor and did not move.

Ferro didn't seem to know how to react and stood frozen to the spot staring at Helena as though doubting his own actions. Fortunately it gave two other quick thinking male operatives the chance to rush in and overpower him and seize the laser.

John heard his own shout of "NOOOOOO!" as if it came from a distance.

He rushed to Helena, dropping to the floor beside her. Her blonde hair had fallen over her face and he lightly brushed it back before carefully turning her over, sliding his arm under her shoulders and lifting her up to cradle her in his arms. He saw then that she wasn't breathing and he was horrified, looking up at the others in a plea for help.

In the background, Sandra was calling for an emergency medical team and Paul was summoning security guards. The two men who had jumped Luke Ferro continued to restrain him as others held onto Anna Davis.

Another couple of people had joined John, gently taking Helena from him and laying her back down on the floor in order to start CPR. John stayed at her side, feeling helpless as he held her hand.

Please breathe sweetheart, come back to me….

Dr Bob Mathias and a couple of nurses quickly arrived with equipment. Their faces registered their shock when they discovered the identity of the person they had been called to treat but their professionalism immediately kicked in and they set about the task of trying revive her. John unwillingly released Helena's hand and stood back to give them space to work.

Paul was directing the security personnel to take Luke and Anna away. He'd automatically slipped into the Command role, John's attention understandably being elsewhere.

"Get them out of my sight," he ordered. "Remove their commlocks and confine them to their quarters, they are to have no access anywhere on the base. Keep them under guard until I've decided what to do with them."

The medics continued to work on Helena for a good forty minutes but without success. Eventually and with great sadness they laid aside the defibrillator and the syringes and all the other paraphernalia and had no choice but to admit defeat. The nurses had tears in their eyes; Bob had often had to deliver bad news to a patient's loved ones in his career but this was both a professional and personal loss as Helena was not just his boss, she was a colleague and a friend. He stood up and turned to John Koenig.

"I'm so sorry, Commander. The blast she received was just too much…..we've lost her…..I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do," Bob's voice was cracking.

John reached out and rested his hand on Bob's shoulder to show he understood and there was no need to say more. His face was a mask of pain as he moved forward and knelt by the gurney on which Helena now lay. The nurses had readjusted her clothing and covered her with a sheet to preserve her dignity but her face was exposed and John could feel she was still warm as he stroked his fingers down her pale cheek. He felt his chest constricting…..this isn't real, she can't be dead…...how could I have got it so wrong? He pulled his hand down over his own face.

Victor squeezed his arm. "Let them take her, John," he said softly. "You can't do anything for her now." He was not generally an emotional man but he too had been close to Helena and was finding it a bit of a struggle to keep his own feelings in check. He felt he ought to stay strong for his friend.

John stood up and let the medical team wheel the gurney away, pausing at the entrance to Main Mission to cover Helena's face. The sight caused another surge of pain and he closed his eyes against it for a moment. Victor's hand was still on his arm, propelling him away from the scene towards the steps to his office, the personnel standing back in silence to allow them to pass. Victor nodded at Paul confirming he should take charge and touched a control on John's desk to close the partition doors.

Paul looked around at the grim faces in Main Mission and breathed out with a sigh. "I think we all ought to take a break," he said.

Victor continued to guide John over to the seating area and eased him down on the sofa. He then walked over to a display cabinet on the other side of the room and opened a cupboard at the base, taking out a bottle and a glass. Returning to where John sat, staring at the floor with his elbows resting on his knees, he placed the glass on the low table and poured a generous measure.

"John, drink it. It'll help."

John didn't reply and Victor walked back to the cabinet to get another glass. He decided he could probably use one himself.

John recognised the bottle on the table. It was Victor's 60 year old brandy with which he and Victor drank a toast, sitting on the steps outside the office as the moon descended into the black sun. They didn't know if they would survive that encounter and they drank "to everything that might have been….to everything that was…."

Helena hadn't been there, she had been chosen by computer to be one of the crew of the survival ship. She hadn't wanted to go but he'd sent her away anyway, saying the list was final and hating himself for doing it. He believed it was one of the hardest things he'd ever done and deliberately avoided going to see the party off as they boarded the Eagle, worried that he might just be unable to prevent himself storming on board and pulling her off the spacecraft and back into his arms. He'd remained in his office, watching from the viewport as the Eagle lifted off and flew away into the unknown.

And yet…they had all miraculously survived, whether due to the Bergman force field or the intervention of some great cosmic intelligence and it had the effect of shifting things up a gear for himself and Helena, with their reunion being a glorious, passionate, long overdue consummation of their relationship, the act of love sealing them together as a couple in their own hearts and minds. Later, in a tangle of limbs and bedcovers, as their breathing returned to normal, he swore that he'd never send her away like that again.

Now, suddenly it all seemed so long ago.

"What the hell just happened Victor?"

"It was a case of wrong place, wrong time, I'm afraid, John."

"No. It was my fault. Helena is dead because I made the wrong decision."

"You made the only decision you could under the circumstances. Don't be hard on yourself."

"Hard on myself? I'm not even sure I'm fit to command this base anymore….Victor, I love her." He wasn't ready to use the past tense. "I need to go to her."

"Of course, John. Let's give Medical Centre an hour or so to do what they need to. I'll arrange it with Bob for you."

John continued to sit and stare blankly, the brandy remained untouched in the glass.

Alpha was cold and the lighting had been dimmed to reduce energy consumption. The power loss remained static at 50%. It only increased his feeling of desolation.

John walked along the corridor to Medical Centre as he had many times before, often with a feeling of eager anticipation, just from knowing Helena would be there to greet him. This time, he was met by Bob Mathias, who led him into a small room where his beautiful Helena lay pale and still on a gurney. There was a chair beside it.

"Take all the time you need, Commander," said Bob, "I'll be outside."

The door closed with a hiss and John was left alone with Helena in the clinical, white room, silent apart from the hum of the ventilation systems. He looked down at her, a blue Medical Centre covering had been pulled up to her chin. Her face was like alabaster, her eyelashes were delicate fans on her cheeks over her exquisitely sculpted cheekbones. He bent and kissed her tenderly on the forehead, smoothing her hair back into place.

"Sleep well," he whispered. "I love you."

Feeling like his heart was breaking, his grief almost a physical pain tearing through him, he sat and rested his forearms on the mattress beside her. Then, unable to hold back the tide of emotion any longer, he laid his head on his arms and wept.

To be continued...