Hey everyone! It's Darci. I've been watching SVU lately and I started reading some of my old fanfics and I thought I'd publish this one and continue working on it so I hope you guys enjoy :)

It was a frigid winter evening in New York City, and as Olivia Benson sat in the diner waiting for her date, she grew more and more convinced that his heart was as cold as the temperature outside. She heaved a sigh and checked her watch- it was 8 pm, the date had been scheduled for 6. Olivia laughed aloud at how ridiculous the situation was. Why was she still waiting up for a guy who obviously didn't want to see her? She had only known the handsome journalist for a week after she had reluctantly given him a bit of information regarding the case they were working. They had met in a coffee shop and the visit ended up lasting a couple of hours, long after the initial reason they had met was discussed. Now a week later, and he'd stood Olivia up.
The waitress who had been so graciously kind for the past two hours, asking if she could get Olivia anything every ten minutes or so, gave her an apologetic smile.

"Let me get you something, please. On the house," she offered and Olivia shook her head with a broken smile and tears in her eyes.

"I should just go," Liv whispered and before she embarrassed herself by breaking down in tears, she turned to go but blinked twice as no one other than Elliot Stabler walked through the diner's entrance. He looked up and smiled.

"Liv, what a surprise," he said but frowned when he saw her tear filled eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked genuinely concerned. Olivia was his partner in crime, or, rather, partner in fighting crime, and whatever bothered her bothered him.

"It's nothing," Olivia muttered looking down at the ground. She didn't want to unload her frustrations of her love life, or lack of, onto Elliot, but when she looked up and noticed him scrutinizing her with those baby-blue eyes of his, she knew he really wanted to know. "I was supposed to have a date but um, he didn't show and it's been two hours."

Elliot blinked and the sympathy and concern was suddenly replaced with rage and annoyance. How could anyone do this to Liv? He managed to keep a calm demeanor and motioned for Olivia to sit down at the diner's bar. "What do you want to eat?" he asked Olivia and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Didn't you hear what I said?" she asked, annoyed that he had completely ignored her answer as to why she was looking so depressed. Elliot nodded while skimming the menu.

"I did, and we can talk about it over dinner. And, I'm really pissed off that he did that so I'm trying to calm down before I punch something... or someone," he added and Olivia surpressed a giggle, finding it sweet that it affected him in that way. Elliot was a truly amazing friend. Why did he have to be married?! Elliot ordered a burger and fries with a soda while Olivia went with a chef salad and water with lemon. She recounted to Elliot how she and the journalist had met (Elliot had not been there, he was at the precinct) and their plans of going to dinner that evening. Like Elliot, her feelings of sorrow and self-pity was replaced with anger and she rolled her eyes in annoyance after telling what had happened, and really, she just didn't give a shit anymore. She was sitting with Elliot, enjoying a nice meal and the conversation had changed to a much more pleasant topic, but was interrupted when Elliot's cell rang. He held up a finger and answered. "Kathy, hey," he said in the middle of chewing his food. "Well, I ran into Olivia and let's just say she's not having the best of evenings, and I thought I'd give her company. Can you and the kids order pizza instead? Alright, I'll call you when I'm on my way home. Love you too."

Olivia stared at Elliot, knowing with a remorseful feeling that she had ruined whatever family time they had planned.

"Oh no, El. Go spend time with your family, I'll be fine," Olivia said, secretly hoping he'd stay. Elliot placed his hand on top of hers and bent his head to meet her eyes that were cast downward.

"Liv, don't worry about it. I wouldn't leave you here by yourself," he said gently and Olivia smiled and nodded.

"Why can't all guys be like you?" she asked and Elliot laughed.

"That's not always a bad thing, not everything about me is good," he said and Olivia playfully rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, whatever," she said. She wanted a boyfriend with Elliot's qualities. Caring, compassionate, generous, and good looking. She was starting to believe that Mr. Right wasn't out there, that she was destined to be single forever. But if that was so, would she be so bitter about it? Surely her wanting and desiring true love was a sign that she wasn't destined to be forever alone. She shook her head and sighed. "Why is love so complicated," she muttered taking a sip of water.

"So that when you do fall in love and find your soul mate, you'll realize that the journey leading up to it, all of the previous heartbreaks, jerks who have stood you up, was worth it."

Olivia smiled and looked at Elliot while chewing her food. "That was beautiful," she said and Elliot laughed and noticed that she had some ranch on her chin.

"Oh, you've got a little something..." he said and wiped the dressing. He didn't pull his hand away, though. His hand was still supporting her chin and then he looked into her eyes. Olivia gasped when she felt tension in the air, Elliot's slight touch like electricity surging through her whole body. He felt it, too, something he hadn't felt with his own wife in years. Olivia was beautiful, her skin soft against his fingers. He imaged what it would be like to... Olivia coughed and sat up straighter and Elliot pulled his hand away.

"I'm finished with my dinner now," she whispered looking downward. Elliot nodded and cleared his throat and held up his hand, signaling to the waitress that they were ready for their tickets.

"I am too," he agreed and the two sat in awkward silence as they waited to pay, both trying to ignore whatever it was that just happened.

The waitress returned with separate checks and they paid, said goodnight and thank you to their server, stepped outside. Olivia shivered even in her coat and turned to Elliot, her eyes narrowed as the icy wind stung her face with force.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she said and Elliot nodded.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." He managed a smile and they hurried to their cars, escaping the miserable, freezing temperature. The two detectives left the diner, alone with their thoughts.

Olivia shook her head and talked to herself. "You're not in love with him, you've never been in love with him. First of all, you work with him. Second of all, he's married, happily married. It's crazy to think that it would ever actually happen," she said, and her heart tore. Olivia's lip quivered and tears started to fall down her cheeks, feeling like icicles against her cold skin. "It will never happen, it will never happen," she repeated to herself, trying to speak the truth into her brain.

Elliot arrived home and Kathy and two of their children were watching a movie. He greeted them and took off his coat.

"Come watch Finding Nemo with us!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"Finding Nemo? I love that movie!" Elliot said taking off his coat. He sat down after taking off his coat and kissed his wife and then hugged the twins. They giggled and then turned their attention to the movie. Elliot was happy to be with his wife and kids, but still, he felt distant. He thought of Olivia and shook his head. "No," he muttered to himself and Kathy looked at him concerned.

"What was that, honey?" she asked and he raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, nothing," he replied and was hushed by his children. "I'm tired, so I'm going to bed," he said and stood up.

"Well is Olivia okay?" Kathy questioned and Elliot rolled his eyes to himself. Why did she have to mention Olivia? He was trying not to think of her.

"She's fine, just needed a friend to talk to," he reassured her and Kathy smiled and nodded. Elliot said goodnight and went upstairs to get ready for bed. He showered, of course, trying not think of Olivia especially in there, and brushed his teeth. It was 9:30 when he climbed into bed and he tried to sleep but he couldn't. He replayed tonight's dinner with Olivia over and over again. "You're not in love with her, Elliot. You've never been in love with her. She's your work partner, and you have a wife, and you're happily marr..." Elliot stopped mid sentence. He couldn't even speak the words. He reflected on what he was about to say. Was he happily married? Him and Kathy fought constantly, she hated how much he worked and he hated how much she complained. They hardly ever made love, actually they never made love, it was just sex. Every day when coming home from work he felt empty, like there was something missing. He looked forward to going to work, he'd rather be around his co-workers and Olivia more than his wife, but it made him feel guilty. Elliot sighed and just laid there in bed looking up at the ceiling. He felt miserable, thoughts of Olivia were relentless, they wouldn't go away.

The bedroom door opened and Kathy walked in and shut the door behind her. "Is everything okay?" she asked sitting down on their bed.

"No, everything is not okay," Elliot mumbled sitting up. He flinched when Kathy wrapped her arms around him from behind and she noticed, and she was offended.

"What the hell, Elliot?" she asked angrily.

"I'm not in the mood Kathy," Elliot sighed.

"Not in the mood for what? Sex? Talking? Spending time with your children? You're never in the mood for anything!" Kathy exclaimed standing up and glaring at him.

"Kathy stop!" Elliot shouted and she took a step back.

"Elliot, do you have something you want to tell me?" Elliot looked away and Kathy's eyes brimmed with tears. "Did you cheat on me with..."

"No!" he yelled. "But I sure as hell wanted to, Kathy!" He regretted his words immediately after he said them. Kathy brought her hand up to her mouth and cried quietly and turned her back on Elliot. "Kathy, I didn't mean I wanted to cheat on you. I meant that I wanted her... god... what the hell am I saying?" He was digging a hole and Kathy whipped around and then pushed Elliot who had stood up from the bed.

"I knew it, you fucking bastard!"

"I can't do this. I'm sorry, Kathy... but I... I'm in love with Olivia." That confession came out as a broken whisper, tears stung Elliot's eyes and he quickly wiped them away. He was a man. But still, it pained Elliot to say these words, to tell his wife he was in love with another woman, his partner in fighting crime. He didn't want to love Olivia, but he couldn't help it nor deny it any longer. He was already on the verge of going crazy and continuing to live in denial wouldn't help.

Kathy's head was tilted downward, her tears falling to the floor. Elliot pulled her into a hug and then kissed the top of her head. He opened his closet and pulled out a suitcase and Kathy's eyes bulged open.

"Elliot, what..."

"Please don't make this any harder for me, Kathy," he said, failing to keep his tears in check. Kathy threw the clothes he had begun packing onto the floor and Elliot took her by the wrists. "Kathy, I'm sorry. I will always love you, you are the mother of my children, my first true love. Please understand that, and please... I have to do this for my own sanity," he cried and Kathy looked him in the eye and then pulled him in for a kiss, but Elliot pulled away and shook his head. Kathy's eyes flashed with anger and she threw his clothes back into the suitcase.

"Get out of here, you son of a bitch," she said through gritted teeth, and Elliot turned to go.

"Goodbye, Kathy," he said with his hand on the doorway. Then he was gone, the kids coming upstairs to go to bed.

"Dad where are you going?" Dickie asked and Elliot knelt down to his level.

"I'm going on a little trip, ok?" He hated this, not only leaving the children, but lying to them.

Kathleen stepped out from the seclusion of her bedroom. "What's going on?" she asked with her arms held out.

"Daddy's going on a trip without us!" Elizabeth exclaimed stomping her foot and folding her arms.

"A trip, really? I heard you and mom..."

"Kathleen, hush," Elliot said before his too-smart-for-her-own-good daughter said anything to raise the twins' concern. "I've got to go," he said and hugged and kissed each of his children on the head goodbye. Elizabeth started to cry, she knew something was up, and Dickie went to his room. Kathleen ran down the stairs after Elliot and grabbed his arm before he could reach the front door.

"Dad, what is going on?" she asked, concern etched on pretty face.

"Don't tell the twins anything yet, but your mom and I... we're just not working out. I'm sorry Kathleen. I don't want to do this, and none of it is any of you guys's fault. I love you, honey." Kathleen cried and hugged her father, the one who annoyed the crap out her with his strict rules when it came to boys, but also whom she saw as a hero and friend.

"I love you too, daddy." Elliot gave her a kiss on the head and was out the door. Where the heck was he going to go?