Some things you need to know:

This starts somewhere in the middle of season 4

Emily doesn't exist

Rachel woke up. That's all she did. She simply slipped out of unconsciousness. She didn't feel like opening her eyes because she knew that if she did, she'd have to face reality. She didn't want to get out of bed because she knew if she did, it will make the inevitable all the more real.

She didn't want it. She didn't ask for it. All she wanted to do was to let sleep take her back and forget all the pain. She knew she couldn't. She has to face the truth.

He was gone.

The tears were already falling, staining her pillow. Her eyes finally opened. She was staring at the ceiling of her room, wondering what she did to deserve this hurt, this suffering.

She heard voices outside her room. Her friends' voices. Another reason why she didn't want to leave. She'd have to face them. Their pity, their sympathy. She hated it. She knew it wasn't their fault. They were just being there for her. But she couldn't stand being treated so fragile, even if she was. She was supposed to be independent, strong, even if she doesn't feel any of those things right now.

She heard crying from the other side of the door. Probably the girls. And the guys doing their best to comfort them. She wouldn't have that anymore. She couldn't. No one could comfort her the same way he did.

She finally sat up. She made her bed. She cleaned up some clothes that were on the floor for a week. She picked up the tissues soaked by her own tears. She did anything she could to prolong the moment. When her room looked the tidiest it ever did, she got dressed. Her attire consisted of a black sweater, a black skirt, and black dress shoes. She brought out a pair of black shades, similar to the ones she wore at Monica's nana's funeral.

After she completed her black ensemble, she opened the door. She was greeted with four familiar, yet foreign faces. She saw the same solemn, pitiful expressions she received the past two weeks. However, this time all of their faces were streaked with tears. She greeted them with the smallest, yet most forced smile she ever had to summon.

No one else said a word. The air was thick with grief and tension. The five friends looked at each other, at the floor, then at nothing. They were all painfully aware of what was about to happen.

"Let's go." It was Rachel who broke the silence. They all nodded and left the apartment. The girls went in one cab while the guys took a separate one. The journey was yet again filled with the same thick tension, and it was fitting. Chandler didn't try to make his usual jokes. Joey's typical man-child innocent eyes were now filled with an unfamiliar darkness. Phoebe, the quirky, bright blonde had on a somber face. Monica didn't even try to hold her tears. She was crying a waterfall while Phoebe wrapped her with her arm.

And Rachel, she had on an expressionless mask. She was afraid that if she released her own waterfall, she would never stop until she cried herself to sleep. Anyone that looked at her probably assumed that she wasn't bothered by the news so much. The fact is, she took it the hardest.

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"Ross was the only true friend I had, growing up..."

"Although I never understood his stories, I will always remember the way he told them..."

"I don't think anyone in this room should be sad for him. I can feel that he is in peace, we should all be happy for that..."

"Ross... he was the best brother I could ask for. I will never forget to tell my children about him"

"He was the only son we wanted, the only son we needed..."

One by one, Ross's friends and family came up to the mic and shared their memories with him, their gratitude, and their sorrow. When it was Rachel's turn, the four friends gave her encouraging looks, and she slowly got up, not out of nervousness, but lack of energy. She didn't prepare a speech, and she certainly didn't have anything prepared to say in her mind. She didn't think that he could be summed up into something so simple and trivial as words.

As she got on the podium and in front of the crowd, she realized she needed to say everything from the heart. No planning, no hesitating, no thinking. She opened her mouth.

"Ross...he was my best friend. He helped me getting to know the real world. I remember, their was this one time where he was teaching me how to do my laundry. He was so nervous and awkward that I found it adorable. It was one of the first things he taught me, but I will always keep it in my heart." She didn't tell them the rest of the story, that that night was when they technically had their first kiss. She felt that was her and his memory to keep.

"However, it wasn't until when I learned from our friend, Chandler, that I found out he was helplessly in love with me, for a long time. It was at that moment that I realized, he was definitely one of the most special people in my life. He was about to teach me the most important lesson I would learn, how to love." She paused to take a moment to herself to remember that night. It was almost 3 years ago, yet she remembered it like it was yesterday. How could she not? It was one of the biggest events of her life.

"It took us a while, but we finally got there. When we did, it was simply the best time of my life. That one year meant everything to me compared to the last 24 years of my life. He made me feel safe, he made me feel loved, he made me laugh. He was the only one who could make me smile. He was the one who made me experience a happiness I didn't know was possible.

"I loved him back with everything I had. I loved the way he was so passionate about his job. I loved his smile, his eyes, and his ridiculously over-gelled hair. I loved his closeness with his sister, and his special connection with each of our friends. I of course learned to love his flaws. His need to be always right, his pettiness, and self-centeredness. Though it annoyed me at times, I always felt lucky to be the woman he fully shared himself with." As she remembered him, she smiled. Even gone, he still had the ability to make her smile. She knew he always would.

She took another moment to herself, silently preparing for the next few moments of her speech. She gathered enough courage and spoke again.

"When we...broke up...it was the hardest thing we both went through. He betrayed me and broke my trust. However, that wasn't what made it the hardest. The most difficult thing was that we still loved each other. Despite the betraying and the trust breaking, we were both still madly in love with each other, and we knew it. In fact, anyone with two working eyes could've seen it. Trying to move on from someone who you still love with all your heart is next to impossible. However, we didn't let our separation break our connection. We continued being friends, and we continued learning from each other. I think almost everyone in this room has learned something from Ross, and I hope you never forget that. I certainly won't. We can all agree he was taken away from us, from me, way too soon, and my only regret was not being honest with him. And I think Ross taught us his final lesson, you should never lie to the one you love. Thank you." She finished her speech and took a seat at her spot. She finally let the tears fall.

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Everyone said their final goodbyes to Ross. Friends, family, and even an ex-wife and ex-girlfriend, privately said their farewells. No one had a single, dry eye, not even the guys. Everyone was mourning the loss of their friend, son, or father.

Rachel was last again, and she took this as her chance to tell him what she couldn't in front of a crowd.

She approached the open casket, looking down at his pale, lifeless face. He still looked incredibly beautiful. She reached down and grazed his cheek with her palm. She flinched at the coldness she was met with. She realized that Ross wasn't there, but only his body was. She gathered what courage she had left and spoke for the last time that day.

"Hey you. I-I wish that you didn't leave me so abruptly Ross. B-but I forgive you. For everything. For that list, for Chloe. For leaving me. I know you wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt me. I know that now. I wish I knew that sooner. Anyway, I probably won't find anyone else like you, anyone that made me feel as happy as you did. But I'll try. I'll try to be happy. I know you'll want that for me. I hope you're happy, where ever you are right now. And, I apologize in advance for maybe not having the strength to visit you for the next couple months. But I'll try. I'll try anything, for you. I hope you know that." Looking down at his face, she cried. She cried every last tear she had. She had always been emotional, but now she realized she'd only been really sincere with him.

"I'll miss you Ross. Goodbye."

She was a long way from happy right now. She doesn't even know if she ever truly will be again. But she knew she would try to find peace. She'd do it for him.

2 Thanksgivings later

The gang was sitting at the table in Monica and Chandler's apartment. They were all eating the thanksgiving feast Monica had prepared. There were 6 chairs, but only 5 friends present. As much as that bothered them in the last few gatherings they had, they intended to celebrate this day with joy.

Ross's abrupt passing affected them all, but he was still remembered and respected by everyone that was lucky enough to know him.

Rachel was affected the most, but she got better. Over the following years of his death, not a day went by that she didn't think about him. But she slowly found that it was getting easier everyday.

That's why the friends were gathered that thanksgiving day, with a seat saved for their absent friend.

"I miss Ross" The table went silent. Everyone stared at Joey for a while until Chandler finally spoke.

"We all do." Instead of tears however, the gang's faces all had soft smiles. They were reminiscing about their friend, keeping his memory alive.

"Hey, remember that time when he tried to convince me so hard that evolution was true, that he brought his "briefcase of facts" as a final attempt to persuade me?"

The gang all laughed and smiled in nostalgia. They all started sharing memories of Ross as they ate, laughing and smiling as they remembered their friend.

"You know, even if he's not here, I could feel him with us, laughing with us. I could feel that he's happy."

As Rachel thought about Phoebe's statement, she couldn't help but agree. It was one of the things that helped her move on, knowing that he was happy and at peace somewhere out there.

It was one of the things that helped her be at peace.

I must confess that my knowledge of funerals is very limited. This came from my memories of movies, tvshows, and from my very own imagination. Ross's cause of death is up to you guys, but to me he died from a car accident. Feedback is appreciated ;)