Night Watch – The Pedestal

Nick handed his older brother a cup of coffee and sat down beside him at the fire. It was drizzling rain, just a little bit, just enough to cause a little extra crackling in the fire and collecting drips off their hats. Other than that, the silence was all-encompassing.

Jarrod sipped the coffee in more silence. Heath sat down on a rock on the other side of the fire, enduring the miserable weather in his own silence.

"We'll be home tomorrow," Heath finally said.

"If we don't drown first," Nick said.

Jarrod finished his coffee and disappeared into the night to take care of some business. When he returned, he unfurled his bedroll and curled up under his blanket, laying his coat atop it to keep some of the wetness off. He silently turned on his side, facing away from his brothers.

Nick and Heath looked at each other. Heath quietly said, "I'll take the first watch."

Nick shook his head and said, "I'm not gonna sleep," just as quietly. "I'll take it."

"You didn't sleep much last night."

Nick just shook his head.

"I'm thinking we ought to run him by Dr. Merar's office before we head out to the ranch, if he'll let us."

"He'll let us," Nick said. "If he doesn't, we'll tie him down and drag him there."

Heath sipped his coffee. "I know you're mad, but you're gonna have to get over it. We got a lot of work to do."

"We'll do what we have to do," Nick said, "whether I'm mad or not."

"I would've thought you'd lost some of that bad feeling by now. It's been three days."

Nick looked up at him. The fire reflected in his eyes. "I have lost some of it. I just have a whole lot of it to lose."

Heath sighed. "Yeah, they slip off the pedestal and let us down."

"What?"

Heath nodded toward Jarrod asleep on the ground. "Big Brother. Always there. Always reliable. Always the one you could count on to make things right. Not anymore."

Nick stared into his coffee cup.

"He hurt you bad, Nick," Heath said. "You're not gonna get over it until you admit it."

"It's not the first time he's hurt me," Nick said.

"But it's the worst. He almost killed you. How do you think he's gonna take that himself when it finally hits him?"

Nick sighed. "Hard."

Heath nodded. "Big Brother has a bad side we're all gonna have to deal with – most of all him. Second of all, you. You best work on helping each other out of this hole he's dug you into."

Nick looked up. "What about you? That gun was aimed at you too."

"I love Jarrod," Heath said, "but I didn't grow up with him as the protector. I didn't grow up with him as the example I was supposed to follow. I didn't grow up learning to rely on him no matter what. He hasn't hurt me as bad as he's hurt you."

Nick looked back into his coffee.

Heath said, "I guess you're just gonna have to admit that after all these years, he really is just a man like the rest of us. He makes mistakes. Maybe because he is the big brother and the example, the mistake was bigger too."

"This mistake nearly got us killed and him hung," Nick said, very frankly.

"But it didn't," Heath said. "We're all alive, and we're going home. You maybe got as much healing to do as he does."

Nick looked over his shoulder, at his older brother's back, and gave a sigh. He didn't speak, but Heath imagined what he'd say if he did. You're right. I grew up with him the big brother and maybe I always have relied on him, always knew I could, but he is just a man, just like the rest of us.

"Yeah," Heath said quietly.

Nick looked back at Heath. Heath knew Nick was wondering why he said that. Heath gave him a bit of a crooked smile.

Nick's eyes took on a look that responded to Heath's smile. His eyes finally had determination in them, and some of that big-hearted Nick compassion, too. Maybe just a little, but some. Heath knew there would be more.

Heath tossed the last of his coffee at the fire. "You won't have to take care of him alone. Wake me up when you get sleepy. Tonight I think maybe you will."

Heath curled up under his own blanket. Nick looked his way, then Jarrod's way. A big drop of water fell off the front of his hat and ran down his nose. He wiped it away and poured more coffee.

The End