The Houses Competition

Round 7 Standard

House: Hufflepuff

Class: Transfiguration

Prompts: [Speech] "I liked my life before you came into it."

Word Count: 1459 (Google Docs)

TW: Character Death

The Heaviness of Loss

Ron meandered around the grounds of Hogwarts. It was late afternoon, and the destruction was clearly visible in the filtered sunlight. Rubble from the castle was scattered on the grass, and the amount of clean-up and rebuilding could no longer be hidden by the guise of night.

He wanted to be useful, to do something that would take his mind off of the heaviness he felt in his body. Shouldn't he feel lighter? The war was over. They'd won. He and Hermione had made a step forward in their relationship, so things should be looking up. Yet, the toll of death prevented happiness and relief from prevailing.

In an effort to prevent the grief from overtaking his tired form, Ron chose to make a feeble attempt at beginning the clean-up effort instead. He shifted back and forth between Reparo and Evanesco, and began to feel slightly satisfied as he made a small indent into the vast amount of work that lay ahead.

He didn't hear Hermione walk up behind him. "I've been looking for you," she said as she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry. I just needed to get out of the castle for a bit." His voice sounded hoarse.

"You don't need to apologize. I saw Parvati on my way out here," she said as she joined him in his meager efforts to bring some semblance of normalcy back to the grounds.

"Yeah? How is she?" Ron wasn't close to Parvati by any means, but that didn't mean he didn't care. He hadn't seen much of his classmates during the battle, and he wanted to know how everyone was faring.

"Lavender didn't make it."

Hermione had waited until Ron finished the spell he was casting to share the news with him, and Ron appreciated that. He knew he'd been out there to avoid the grief-stricken corridors in the castle, but it was wishful thinking to believe it to be true.

Ron was silent as he stared at the piece of facade he'd just repaired. Lavender was dead. A fellow Gryffindor who he'd known for seven years. His first girlfriend.

He closed his eyes as memories flitted through his brain of their time together. How she'd thrown herself into his arms for that first kiss, the various walks around the castle, and all their snogging sessions. Even that horrid necklace she'd given him for Christmas crossed his mind, the irony of a teenage relationship at its finest.

Sure, his friends always thought she was a bit superficial, but there was more to her than that. Much more that he'd learned in the months they were together before things started to go south. She cared deeply about her family, and wanted to change the world. Now she'd never get the chance.

"Are you okay?" Hermione asked as she searched his face.

Ron shrugged, trying to find the words to say. "She didn't deserve to die."

"No, she didn't. No one did. She was a Gryffindor through and through, though."

"Where is she?"

"History of Magic classroom, I think. Would you like to go see her?"

Ron nodded. Hermione reached out her hand and he took it gratefully. It felt like an anchor, keeping him grounded as his thoughts threatened to take him away. They walked to the doors of the classroom, which Ron assumed was acting as a make-shift morgue until the bodies could be transported. It was quiet inside, and thankfully a charm had been cast to prevent the odor of death from seeping through.

"I'll wait out here for you," Hermione said as Ron walked into the room.

He was grateful for the space to say goodbye. Despite the large number of bodies in the room, it didn't take long to find her. It was hard to see her in this state: unmoving in the mangled form that Greyback had left her in. It was clear Madam Pomfrey—and probably Parvati—had tried to clean her up a bit, but it still didn't mask the angry, deep gashes that were left behind. At first, Ron wasn't sure what to say, so he stood there for a few moments before deciding to speak.

"I liked my life before you came into it." It probably wasn't the way he should have started his goodbyes, but he knew the thoughts in his head would help it make sense in the end. "I was happy spending my time with Harry and Hermione, and didn't think I needed anyone else. Hell, I was ready to go to Slughorn's party with Hermione before Ginny put me in a right state and caused that fight. But that's beside the point, and you know that.

"I don't regret our time together, Lav, even though things didn't end well. I'll never forget the way you first kissed me, and getting to know you as more than a classmate. You didn't deserve to die. You should have had a long, full life, achieving your dreams and finding someone who loves you as much as you love them."

The tears were rolling down his face now, his breath hitching as he spoke.

"Thank you for being my first girlfriend. For showing me the ropes. I'm sorry things didn't work out—that I strung you along even though we both knew my heart belonged to someone else. It wasn't fair, and I was a right prat for doing that to you."

He raised his hand to gently cover hers. They were cold and lifeless. "I won't forget you. I promise."

Ron stood there for a few more moments, willing himself to pull it together, until he realized Hermione wouldn't care if she saw him this way. Neither would his family. He was halfway to the door when realization hit him.

"Her family…" he said as another wave of sobs wracked his body.

He hung his head as he thought of her mother and brother. At how devastated they'd be when they heard. That was if they were safe. Lavender's brother was a Squib, something Lavender wasn't ashamed of in the slightest. She loved her brother more than anything. He hoped they were okay.

The tears continued to fall hot and wet down his unfairness of it all was too much to handle. He'd been trying to come to terms with the idea of having to live every day without his brother—which was hard enough—but now Lavender's brother would have to live without his sister, and that realization seemed to be what continued the onslaught of emotion.

Hermione's arms wrapped around him as he crumpled to the ground in grief. She sat there, holding him, as he let the tears fall. He wasn't sure how long they sat there on the cold, hard ground, surrounded by reminders of death and destruction, until he finally felt like he was able to push forward again.

"Her family deserves to know how brave she was," Ron finally finished the sentence he'd started before breaking down.

"We'll make sure of it. Parvati, too, I'm sure. I know we didn't always see eye to eye, but she was a good person. And she had the biggest heart," Hermione reminisced.

"She really did." Ron noticed then that Hermione had shed tears of her own as they sat there in each other's arms. "She wrote to me, you know."

Hermione glanced up at him. "When?" There was no malice in her voice, only curiosity.

"Last summer. She apologized for making a scene that night we both came down the stairs when Harry had taken Felix. Said she saw the signs, and should have ended it sooner, that she was being selfish. She wasn't, though..."

"Oh," Hermione said softly.

"She also said she knew that you and I were—that we—we'd be good together."

Hermione smiled weakly. "I know I was awful about the whole thing, but she did beat me to you, fair and square. Did you ever write back?"

"I did. The night before you arrived, actually. Told her if anyone should apologize, it was me. It wasn't fair for me to drag her along when I had feelings for someone else." He looked meaningfully at Hermione. "I never meant to hurt her, and I hope she knew that. I never heard back from her."

Hermione nodded against his shoulder. "We'll make sure her memory isn't forgotten. I'm glad you two were able to make peace with each other."

"Me too."

It wasn't the closure he'd expected, but Ron was thankful for that small peace offering last summer. He stood up, and glanced back once more through the open door to Lavender's body as one final thought crossed his mind before they returned to the Great Hall. Thank you for making me a better person, Lav.