Suicide Quest – Session 2

The Intergalactic Planetary Other Dimension Police (IPOD-Police) were haling A.B. in front of the court of infinity to await justice via punishment.

A.B. was pure dog shit, hit by a truck, strung out, left for dead, crossed enemy boarders, ate a shifty taco. No amount of description that I may or may not feel the need to give the bastard will describe perfectly his state. I don't give a fuck. A.B. is a shitty protagonist.

Mr. Infinity justice was a kitty cat with laser beam eyes and he spoke in meow meow riddles. All the court members clapped in excitement.

"I don't understand…" said A.B. not even sure he cared to speak.

One of the IPOD police zapped A.B. with an electrified anal probe.

"UNPLEASENT!" screamed A.B. (he sounded like a little girl from Canada who was jail bait for all the stiff upper lip boys)

Suddenly the infinity justice cat ran away after someone said "dinner time"

After this an army of space vampires attacked from all every oh my Jesus directions! The IPOD Police made pew pew noises with their guns. The space vampires did energy draining on those stupid fuck faces till each one exploded.

After the battle was concluded A.B. was taken away to the escape ship of the space vampires.

On the ship A.B. met with the vampire king Drakoala (half bear, half human). Drakoala was a giant douche face. I, as the narrator, personally would rather the story be about Drakoala but he's one of the main antagonist with a poorly maintained motive for evil. He may kill a lot of innocent peeps but them bitches had it comin.

Anyway, except left, Drakoala started to talk. "We meet again A.B."

"Why couldn't you just let the infinity justice put me away in one of their prisons?" replied A.B. in depression. He was at a point in his long spent immortality where being locked up would not have bothered him.

Drakoala laughed. "Mr. B they would not simply lock you up. The infinity justice would torture you until you willingly abandoned your immortality."

"Vampire" replied A.B. with stupidity. "You know it doesn't work like that. I need to pass on my immortality to someone else."

"Yes… oh, of course I know this but the infinity justice is infinitely lacking knowledge. They would have done all many of things to your body and soul… from rape to stereo instruction… you would have to endure it all for infinity." Drakoala smiled and farted very loudly.

Another vampire ate a corn dog. There was a sexual pseudo.

A.B. looked seriously at Drakoala. "Live long enough and everything blurs together. I understand what is good and what is bad but I just don't care…" A.B. cared.

Drakoala smiled. "You are so unlike the other immortals I've met. Most of your kind gave their life force willingly to the vampire nation. A few traveled out beyond the outer rim of the universe…" Drakoala was lost in his own thought for a moment then got angry looking at A.B. again. "And you are here… refusing to die… refusing to run?"

A.B. looked at the ground thinking back to the strange alien he had received immortality from so many thousands of years ago.

"Siucide Quest…" whispered A.B.

Drakoala laughed a villainous roar. "Yes Mr. B… I refer to your people's infamous Suicide Quest."

A.B. looked amused. It took so many thousands of years of pain and depression to finally hit him and it was a bitter sweet victory for philosophy. "I want to learn how to live…"

Drakoala leaned in and with an evil snarl declared "I'll make you hate yourself… then you'll beg me to destroy you."

A.B. wasn't sure if he would cry. Drakoala and the other space vampires were not immortal but they were far more powerful than he was. If they couldn't kill or torture A.B. they would do so to others. And what could A.B. do to stop them. He might be immortal… but he was still just human.