THIS STORY CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 4 OF "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER"
I saw the opening scene of this episode, and this story just sort of came pouring out of me.
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Bucky was terrified.
He didn't want to hear the words again.
He didn't want to turn into the monster HYDRA had made him to be.
That was the last thing he ever wanted to do.
They were away from the city. Away from people, and the entire Dora Milaje had surrounded the area.
They were expecting him to turn just as much as he was.
He forced his mind to focus on the flames of the fire. He was warm and comfortable. He was wearing a gentle shirt instead of a leather vest. The metal arm, the fist of HYDRA, had been removed.
The entire situation was completely different from anything HYDRA had done.
"It is time," Ayo said.
Nerves spilled into his stomach, "you sure about this?"
"I won't let you hurt anyone," she assured confidently.
Not exactly the reassurance he was after, but it helped.
Sort of.
She began to walk towards him, her spear gripped tightly in her hand. "Longing." The Russian rolled off her tongue, sending shivers down Bucky's spine.
The fire didn't feel warm anymore.
It felt cold.
He was cold.
He was back in the chamber, strapped to the chair with men and their guns all around him.
He was helpless.
He was scared.
He clenched his teeth tightly and squeezed his fist until his nails dug into his palm, willing the pain to ground him and keep him present.
"Rusted."
"Seventeen."
He could feel the soldier approaching. Standing at the very edge of his vision and waiting to take over.
"It's not going to work," he said desperately.
They needed to stop.
He was going to lose control.
He was going to be forced to watch as his hands took the lives of innocent people.
"Daybreak," Ayo said sharply.
He could see the book, with the black star, close.
His handler was going to greet him and give him a mission.
He was going to obey.
He had to obey.
"Furnace."
He was trapped in the box, pounding his fist against the glass until it cracked.
He was trapped in his mind; banging on walls that wouldn't give.
He was in the middle of the road, staring at Steve. His target.
He was shooting at his target; walking through flames. Stalking his prey.
He was strapped to the chair again. Screaming around the mouthguard as electricity coursed through him. Re-enforcing the walls in his mind that would never break.
He could feel Maria's neck beneath his hand. Her pulse was slowing to a stop underneath his fingers.
He didn't care.
She was his mission.
Steve was his mission.
"Benign."
He was strapped in a harness and muzzled, with food placed just out of reach.
He was fighting his way out of the cage, his handler gripping his shoulder and holding a gun to his head.
He was staring down at Howard Stark, screaming at the soldier to stop.
The soldier never listened.
The soldier obeyed.
More blood covered his hands.
"Homecoming."
He was staring down at Steve, frozen in the act of bringing his fist down upon his friend's already bloodied and bruised face.
Steve.
His best friend.
The target who wouldn't fight him and simply took the blows.
What had he done?
What had he become?
"One."
"Freight car."
He could feel the tears leaving his eyes.
Tears that were always useless.
HYDRA didn't care for tears.
They didn't care for the trauma they were inflicting.
They didn't care for the man beneath the machine.
Nobody cared.
He was a weapon. Not a human. And weapons didn't cry.
He was -
A slow realization dawned on him.
He was still there.
He was by the fire.
The fire was warm.
The walls in his mind were gone.
He began to weep openly as the realization sunk in.
The walls were gone.
The soldier was gone.
Sobs of relief and gratitude were pouring out of him.
It had worked.
"You are free," Ayo said gently, in English.
English.
Not Russian.
Not German.
English.
He slowly raised his gaze to look at her.
He didn't know what to say.
There were no words, in any language, that he could use to adequately express what he was feeling.
"You are free," she said again, a smile touching her lips and shining in her eyes.
He broke.
He bowed his head and sobbed.
He was free.
HYDRA had no control over his mind.
The shackles that they had forced upon him in 1945 had finally come off.
He was free.
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Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it!
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