Hey there! Just a quick AU crossover I've had in mind for a few months that I finally found the time to write! This is only a one-shot, and I don't really intend to continue it, but let me know if you enjoy it! I may or may not be convinced to write some more in this amalgam universe if there's enough interest!

A couple things to note:
-Alphonse's body was a little past its expiration date, so Edward sacrificed his Alchemy in exchange for Al's blood seal being permanent and unbreakable instead. He also sacrificed his sense of smell so Al could at least enjoy being around food? Don't ask him how it works when the suit of armor doesn't have a nose...
-Ed still has an automail arm. I assume the final confrontation with Father went a little bit differently for that to be the case...

Hope you enjoy!

The thing is, Ed knows himself to be in shape.

He's no chiseled specimen, of course, but he does exercise enough to keep himself in fighting form; after all, his speed and agility are his best tools, given his lithe frame, his specially designed lightweight automail, and his admittedly scrawny build.

...or rather, they're his only tools now, given the fact that he sacrificed his ability to perform Alchemy in order to ensure Alphonse stuck around, and the flames he's now supposed to be bending to his will are still much too wild and unreliable to be anything but a liability.

At any rate, it's only now that their travels have brought them to these strange lands of elemental control that he's learned what it truly means to be athletic.

"You call that a hot squat, outlander?" –Azula, exiled princess and deposed Lord of the Fire Nation, huffs in disbelief. "I've seen legless soldiers perform better and complain less."

Edward growls. "I am legless, you bitch." –he hisses, knocking on his metal leg for effect.

"I see two legs on you, Elric. One of which can't even get tired, so you have even less of an excuse." –Azula sneers. "And it's Sifu Bitch, to you."

The former alchemist scoffs, but still bows and touches his metal fist to the bottom of his regular palm. Azula shakes her head. "Take a break and observe, Elric. I grow tired of your incompetence."

Ed is many things, but too proud to tiredly flop onto the soil of their training arena isn't one of them. "Y'know, I'm beginning to see why the Avatar banished you to this island."

Azula turns away from him. She starts to go about a set of basic firebending katas, which he's supposed to closely watch and later replicate. "You know that's not what happened. Had it been up to the Last Airbender, I'd be free to roam the Nations at my leisure. Even Zuko and the rest of his little band of rebels and traitors were too soft and kind-hearted to do what needed to be done." –she says.

"Execute you, you mean." –Ed drawls.

"As all enemies of the throne should be – even if the throne itself sits a traitor." –she says, bitterly. "Instead, they took away the thing most precious to me and called it mercy."

Ed knows full well by now how this kata should go; it's a simple buildup of energy within your core you must then provide an avenue for exit to, through the outstretched fist at the end. Azula performs the kata with flawless technique, and finishes the move with a picture perfect pose, but no flames sprout to life – not even a tiny spark. He knows why, of course; it's the same borderline magical phenomenon that gave him his own firebending, however accidentally. The mythical Avatar tried to give him his Alchemy back, but the Truth, it seems, had a more interesting idea in mind.

"At least you're not rotting in a jail cell, like your father." –Ed supplies, finding himself trying to distract the princess from the clear frustration in her tightly pressed lips.

Azula narrows her eyes. "I suppose rotting on a jail island is somewhat better." –she admits. "Even if it's closely monitored by two dozen agents of the White Lotus trained in chi-blocking, and three fully crewed Fire Navy cruisers."

Edward tilts his head. "I thought Zuko said they were here for your own protection?"

"Ostensibly." –Azula shrugs. "I have no shortage of enemies in this bizarre, post-war world, to be sure. But I can only imagine that, even without my firebending, Zuko thinks of me as nothing but a threat."

He doesn't comment on that, but he thinks to himself that that can't possibly be the whole truth. Not just as someone who loves his brother more than anyone else in the world, but as the guy who got to sit down with the Fire Lord for something of an extended talk. There was certainly some of the contempt and resentment Azula refers to in those mismatched golden eyes, but the way Zuko talked about his disgraced sister struck him as more pitiful, and perhaps forlorn, than anything else. Broken as their family is, Ed can't even imagine a world in which he and Al feel so conflicted about each other.

"This place can't be all that bad, can it?" –Ed asks. "I've seen your moves; if you really wanted to, you could take the Lotus guys out and be in the wind before Zuko could do anything about it. Plan a coup, topple his empire in an afternoon...y'know, your usual MO, from what I've heard."

"So grateful to your host." –Azula notes, sarcastically. "Is that how hospitality is repaid in Amestris? By inciting treason against the one providing for your extended stay?"

Edward, who's told her quite a bit about the horrors that occurred in his homeland during the Homunculus Crisis, crosses his arms, unimpressed. "Would you be surprised if I said 'yes'?"

Azula chuckles. She probably doesn't intend it that way, but it comes across as something of a malevolent chortle. "No, I suppose I wouldn't be." –she half-shrugs. The exiled princess looks out towards the horizon, calm waves lapping at the strange, crescent-shaped bay below them. "I do like it here. I've never been one to buy into spiritual nonsense, but...I can almost sense the tranquility that drew Avatar Roku in – drove him to settle this volcano a century and a half ago."

The amber-eyed young woman seems to become lost in thought, then; the elder Elric's only been under Azula's tutelage for a month or so, but he's already become very familiar with these...lapses, for lack of a better word, in which her 'mask' seems to fall off, if only for a moment. Ed may not have the full story, but he got the gist of it – Azula was a firebending prodigy, heir to the most powerful throne in the land, and raised to believe herself superior to all, only for her to lose everything to a ragtag group of freedom fighters.

'Everything', of course, being short for 'total control over the barren, incinerated lands her genocidal father would've inherited her had the Avatar and his friends not managed to put a stop to it'. All things considered, Edward has to agree with Azula: Zuko was far too merciful with his sister. Execution certainly wasn't the answer, but exile on a beautiful, remote island probably wasn't it, either. Most of the time, it doesn't seem to have made the former princess much more remorseful, if at all.

But then there's these moments, in which the princess seems to almost come to grips with the reality of her actions – with the horrific consequences her plans would've had on the larger continent, the suffering she and her family wrought upon the world, and the scorn and hatred she earned, a few times over, from the few she might've once called 'friends'. Being around her feels almost like hanging around with a reformed Homunculus – like Envy taking a moment to regret the cruelty of murdering Maes Hughes, or the little Ishvalan girl, were he capable of such a thing.

…Greed would probably be a more believable example.

Azula shrugs, breaking the spell. "Of course, choosing to live here ended up killing him, but he did have a good few decades of peace – or rather, a good few decades of ignoring the larger world and pretending the Fire Nation wasn't gearing up for conquest. I suppose cowering away from their problems runs in Ursa's side of the family."

"And killing theirs ran in Ozai's." –Ed surmises.

She frowns. "I never killed anyone."

"That's less a virtue of yours and more a testament to your enemies' triumphs, from what I've gathered." –Ed shrugs. "And needing to make that distinction is probably not the defense you think it is."

Azula scoffs. "Wise beyond your years, are you Elric?" –she taunts, then smirks. "Or perhaps, wise beyond your stature?"

Edward seethes – even though he's taller than Azula, and even after all these years, he can't quite help it. "Y'know, I think I'm about ready to wipe that dumbass smirk off your face."

"Quite done with your rest, then? Good. I've grown tired of this useless reflection." –she sneers. "Let your flames do the talking now, Elric."

"Shouldn't we have another firebender around, then?" –he shoots back, coyly. "Y'know, for safety?"

Azula rolls her eyes. "Oh, please. If you think a novice bender has any chance whatsoever to hurt me, you must be as brainless as your brother – and he literally doesn't have a brain. I don't need bending to destroy you."

He smirks. It's a strange partnership, theirs – the exiled princess and the jackass who punched God – but somehow, it works. Must be all the other war criminals he's befriended over the years, he supposes. "Whatever you say, Azula."

She puts a hand to her chest, in mock surprise. "Edward Elric, you flatter me! Here I thought I was just a bitch." –she coos, then thrusts her palm forward, faster than he could possibly react. "Now, get up, and roar like a tigerdillo!"

As always, thank you for your attention! Make sure to comment or message me if you have any questions about this story. Look me up on Twitter as Darthkvzn or Tumblr as darthkvznblogs if you'd like - and on Ko-fi, as Darthkvzn, if you like what I do and have a buck to spare.

Until next time!