Four Seasons
Four Seasons of Feelings
Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings.
-Henry Cloud
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters.
Autumn
The leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind as I walk in the street and the cold, wintery light on my skin. It's autumn already the season when he decided to leave and change his life, the life where there's no me. As I walk on my way home from school, I remember the time that he was still here by myside. The times when we are watching as the leaves fall from the trees, the time you said that Autumn season is your favorite because it is not as hot as summer, you can wear comfortable clothes and can enjoy walking on the streets. You also said that autumn reminds you that it was a season for changes, a season where you can leave the past.
Flashback
Gintoki asked Zura what is his future plans as they are now graduating from senior high, Hagi is just a small town and there's a lot of opportunity on Tokyo, there's a lot of school in Tokyo and Zura already passed the examination in University of Tokyo where only smart and rich people can study. Zura doesn't want changes, as much as Gintoki wants change, Zura just wants to go with the flow. Zura's reason is his grandmother, there's no one that will take care of her and their friends Sakamoto Tatsuma and Takasugi Shinsuke is still in Hagi they will not leave in this town that's what Zura thinks but he never really asked Takasugi and Sakamoto about their future plans.
Sakamoto is the first one to leave he said that his parents are now migrating to America because his parents is rich and his parents wants nothing but the best for their only son.
Takasugi followed when their teacher Shouyo died because of the accident. He said that he wanted to forget teacher shouyo and Sakamoto invited him to come with him and Sakamoto's parents also wants Takasugi to be there.
Gintoki is the last person Zura has but Gintoki wants changes, there are no one to hold him to this small town the night after Teacher Shouyo's 40th death day, Gintoki left without saying Goodbye.
Present
Zura thinks of the moments in his life and his life decision, he didn't regret that he didn't go to Tokyo university because there's a university here in Hagi, the only regret is that he didn't see Gintoki when he is leaving. Zura's grandmother is now on her deathbed and Zura is doing anything to be with his grandmother. Grandmother is really important to him; she is the only family who takes care of him because his parents died because of unknown illness.
It was Gintoki's birthday, autumn is his birthday season and Zura wonders if Gintoki is now happy, Gintoki doesn't want to celebrate his birthday because he doesn't feel that it was really his birthday. Gintoki has been abandoned at the Shrine, with his things like some clothes and there's a notebook and there's a written letter from his mother and it indicates there that his name is Sakata Gintoki and his birthday, Yoshida Shouyo is the one who found him and gave him a home. Takasugi and Zura met him at the school and they become friends Sakamoto is another transferee of the school.
I was hoping that Gintoki will now do what he really wanted to do.
Winter
The winter breeze that chills the air and drifts the snow. It's the coldest season of the year and it was December already. Grandmother is now at the hospital it looks like we are going to celebrate here in Christmas, Sakamoto and Takasugi is always calling me whenever they are free the time zone here is different from them and they will give me a gift through cargo. I'm lucky to have a friend's like them. Today is my duty at Ikamatsu-dono's restaurant, I'm doing a part time to support grandmother's medicine and my study, sometimes I tutored some students to have extra income, I have a scholarship but it is not enough to support me and grandma.
Winter will always be cold and I hate cold season that's why Gintoki will always tell me to bring jacket gloves and beanie but most of the time I forget so Gintoki will let me use his own. Gintoki will always walk me home and sometimes we will eat or he will stay with me at my house for dinner.
Flashback
Zura you idiot, why don't you have a gloves and beanie? I know idiots don't catch cold but that doesn't mean that you can never be sick. Idiot Zura. After Gintoki said that he will remove his own gloves and beanie and he will give it to me so I can use it. He will walk me to my house and he will remind me to drink my favorite tea, the next day he will not go to school because he catches cold. I always remember that Gintoki will nag at me but he will still give me what I need. Gintoki is selfless that is why when he left half of me is happy because it's the first time, he thinks of himself, of what he wants and for him to be happy.
Present
My duty is always night 8pm to 11pm, it was closing time but today I go to work at 5pm, I will always be grateful for Ikumatsu-dono for always considerate and giving me a job. I always think I was blessed by the people because I can't do all of this alone without their help and without their support. Its Christmas eve so we will close at 9pm, Ikamatsu-dono is a widow, most of the time I will listen to his stories, I love the story about widows and don't ask me why because I was just interested at first and then it become my hobby to listen to their story. On my way back to Hospital, I saw a mistletoe, a lot of lovers were there and some are kissing some are hugging and some are taking a picture. I remember Gintoki.
Flashback
Gintoki, Gintoki look a mistletoe! My grandmother said that it was like a wishing flower but it was only seen when it was winter season. Zura said as he grabs Gintoki's wrist and they go to the mistletoe. Gintoki shook his head and just let Zura drag him like he didn't care at all he doesn't know that flower and he is not fan of wishing and dreaming unlike Zura who lives for his imaginary fairytale. When are underneath the mistletoe Zura close his eyes to wish and Gintoki just watch him, Takasugi and Sakamoto came and Zura opened his eyes to greet them. Zura don't you know that when you are underneath the mistletoe you need to kiss the one beside you to make your wish come true? Takasugi said and Sakamoto just laugh and he agreed to Takasugi. Zura kiss Gintoki on lips so that your wish will come true. Takasugi says again and then Gintoki mock Takasugi for believing and now they we're arguing and Sakamoto is the who is stopping them while laughing. Gintoki? Gintoki… Can I kiss you just a smack please, my wish is really important I plead Gintoki and he said that I shouldn't believe what Takasugi and Sakamoto said but when I pout, he leans on me and kiss me. Takasugi and Sakamoto later told me that it was just a tradition that when people are underneath the mistletoe they will kiss.
Present
When Katsura is buying a food for him and his grandmother, he received a call from the hospital and he immediately run, your grandmother is dying that is what the caller said. When he got there, he saw his grandmother breathing hard and there are her Nurses and Doctor who is watching her die slowly. He kneeled at his grandmother's bed, the doctor and nurses left them. Grandmother holds his hand and squeeze it as if she is telling him, it was okay. Grandmother's last words to Katsura is she said that its okay to cry if you feel like crying, don't stop yourself go now follow him and tell him how you feel. Sorry for keeping you here for too long Kotarou, thank you for you are my grandson my sweet Kotarou, thank you his grandmother smiled at him. Her grandmother's hand is slowly slipping away from his hold and that was when he heard the of the monitor. Katsura cries and cried that night.
His phone ring for a hundred time he is not answering the calls of his old friend Tatsuma, and some text from Chibisugi he read it Just want to tell you that Zura's grandmother died last night, we are not expecting you to come and visit him we just want to tell you.
He knows that Zura can handle himself so he just text Zura.
Condolence and take care always.
Spring
When springtime makes its way here, leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees. Spring is always been Zura's favorite season because it brings new hope, he always said that in order to for new leaves to be able to grow, old leaves must fall. Spring signifies hope and a new beginning. I am a graduating student in public university in Tokyo taking a course of Teacher major in Science. I know Zura is taking teacher education just like me but he is major in Literature. It's been 5 years since the last time we saw each other, before I go here to enroll to college, it seems to me that Zura should belong here in Tokyo and not me, Zura is always smart even with lack of common sense Zura always says that his goal is to change the government but change it when I said I want to be a teacher and then he doesn't want to be left behind so he also said that teacher is a good course. When Shouyo died my father figure, all of my dreams crumbled I needed time to think so I decided to go to Tokyo, it was hard knowing that I didn't know anyone here I become a vagrant, I live in streets and beg for food until I go to a tomb and an old lady is offering a food for his husband and I beg for food. That old lady let me live in her 2nd floor building and he let me be her servant at his bar for a few months until I get a job and apply on a public school. Life is hard, if Zura is here I know he will like this city it has full of life.
The cherry blossom reminds me of the scent of Zura's hair. Zura loves his long black hair too much girly, it was always smooth, shiny and smells like Sakura. He doesn't want anyone to touch his hair, Zura told me that his hair is like his mother's hair that is why his grandmother says that his hair should stay long because it was beautiful and Zura believes in everything his grandmother said. As I passed in the busy street of Tokyo, I notice that the leaves are start growing.
Flashback
Zura why are you hiding behind that tree? Don't you know Shouyo sensei is looking for you? Your grandmother will be mad if you come home late. Zura is just sitting with his arms hiding his face and then I notice he is sobbing. I come closer to him and then I notice that there is a gum at the end of his hair. I ask who did it but he said nothing and continue crying, it was just 6 months since we met but I know that for Zura his hair is really important even if our classmates will make fun of it calling him girly and his hair looks like a hair of a girl Zura will smile and said thank you thinking that it was complement.
This is really the first time Zura cries, he never cries whenever we mock him or tease him about his idiotic look and his girly face, that's why when I saw him cry, I feel like I should teach the lesson who ever made him cry. After minutes Zura told me that it was our fat classmate he makes fun of him and then when he was writing that fat boy put his gum on his hair, Zura said that it was okay and he doesn't want a meaningless fight he can ask his grandmother to cut his hair but I know that Zura is sad because of his hair. I told it to Chibisugi and to Bakamoto and they are the one to punch the fat kid.
Spring season is always Zura's favorite, when it was afternoon you can see him sitting at the tree and reading his books and I will join him put my head on his shoulder and sleep when I wake up Zura is still there and he will whine about drooling on his shoulder but he will still let me sleep on his shoulder.
Present
I am not alone in Tokyo; I met a lot of people who I can call friends. I never tried to contact my old friend Sakamoto and Takasugi because it will bring back memories of the past, they got my number from old hag when they stay in Tokyo looking for me, before they left the country. Zura still use his old number but we never tried to contact each other. He never asked why I left and I never ask if he is mad at me leaving him alone.
Zura's grandmother died at the Christmas eve and I am tempted to went to him but stop myself and just texted him but he never texted me back.
Summer
It's so hot! I need strawberry parfait and ice cream! Last week I graduated and now I applied for a job in Gintama High and luckily got selected for Teacher's demo next week. I saw the ocean, when we we're young Shouyo sensei always treat us Ice cream and we will go to the ocean shore just to sit there and watch the waves, Zura, Takasugi and Sakamoto will always come whenever Shouyo said that we will eat ice cream, at first it was just because we are bored but then it became a tradition to go to shore eat ice cream and make fun of each other not until sensei died.
Flashback
Shouyo sensei can we also come to shore with you and Gintoki? Little Zura ask his sensei as sensei told them the story of the ocean. Gintoki never tried to learn how to swim so he is not excited when they're going to shore because Takasugi and Sakamoto will swim, Zura will prepare our picnic and sensei will help. One time we played the game where eyes had a blindfold and the they will spin you and you need to smash the watermelon. I remember that Zura shouted when and I remember he is the one who saved me when I nearly drown myself. Shouyo sensei was not there because he is busy buying us food and Sakamoto and Takasugi are panicking Zura gave me a CPR because he remembers when he read it in the book of first aid. Started that time I promise to never play with blindfolds.
I remember when we we're at the shore Zura always brings his hair tie and always style his hair into high ponytail or hair bun. I love it when he does that.
Present
Today is the day of my demo in Gintama high a lot of applicants are here it was my turn when my eyes deceived me. I saw Zura coming out of the demo room and holding a folder, but when I close my eyes and look at him again, he's already gone. I passed the demo and they ask me to start at the next school semester which is August.
I walk at the ocean's shore and I notice a man who has a long black hair he is sitting at the shore ignoring the hot sun, I know his back, I know who he is even if I didn't see his face. His hair is not in bun or in ponytail he lets his hair carried away by the ocean wind. I was shy and nervous at the same time I wanted to be close to him again to say sorry for leaving him and not be there when he needed someone.
I open my umbrella and decided to stand next to him I don't care what he will say or think I just need to be close to him again. When I was standing by his side, he didn't look up to see who is standing next to him he was to focus on watching the wave, maybe he knows its me already. I sit next to him with the umbrella still open blocking the heat of sun on our skin.
Gintoki, how are you? He said with a sad tone of his voice he still didn't look at me but he is now looking down at the sand. I didn't answer him but I just put my hand around his shoulder and get his head lean on my chest, I know when Zura needs to let out his emotion and this is the time we're he is going to cry.
Zura cries, he cried so hard in Gintoki's chest and Gintoki let him do whatever he wants. Zura's been having a hard time and he probably miss his grandmother. Knowing Zura he won't cry in front of the others or when he is alone, he won't let his emotion down because he said that it will be his downfall but I made him promise that if he was with me, he can be just himself just Zura.
The night comes and we needed to go home, we never talk it feels like it was a mutual understanding, I walk him home just like the last time he was living in Tokyo dorm near Gintama High, when he is at the door he asks if I wanted a tea but both of us know that I am not a fan of tea, I decided to just let my self in.
It was Autumn when Gintoki promise to Katsura that he won't leave him alone again.
In Winter breeze they we're both at cuddling and drinking their hot chocolate.
When Spring has come, they brought their own house and started to live together
It was Summer when they took a vacation to visit the grave of their love ones that has gone
As the season changed they remember the warmth of the days gone by.