Gentile Does It
On the last day of Pesach, or Passover, I post this fic while it was actually my intention to post this on the first day, but as you know Mr. Quiet here never gets to reach a self-imposed deadline even if his life depended on it. But that's old news I constantly have to bring up for some reason.
Go read the story and hope I don't end up embarrassing myself!
''I still can't believe we agreed on this dress!''
''Her hair must be curly all over and not just the ends!''
''No! Only the ends!''
''This color looks better on her eyes!''
''This color!''
''More glitter! Make her eyes sparkle!''
''You apply it way too thick! She's going on a date, not work the graveyard shift on main street, brah!''
''Luna! Language!''
The children of Loud were in the bedroom of the oldest daughters, completely engrossed with one of their own. They hovered around said sister like bees around a hive. Blaring discussions over hair, makeup and other related topics were booming through the walls all at the same time; their conversations incomprehensible to anyone but themselves. The only thing that could surpass the noise of their discussions would be the noise of the fights that'd break out when arguments frequently evolved into conflict between two or more siblings. They'd halt whatever they were doing until the conflict was resolved with either spoken words or having let their hands do the talking for them. Their parents might've come in to break up their fights with the threat of being grounded if either of them were home at the moment. As long as the neighbors or the police wouldn't come knocking to complain, everything went.
And in the middle of the bedlam sat Luan, the sister they all did it for.
The only thing Luan gained from their discussions was the frequent application of makeup or adjustments to her hair that could be undone by another pair of hands moments later. Being touched so incessantly would normally annoy her as it would many people, but she let it happen with a smile. Even with everything considered, Luan was getting off relatively peaceful when compared to how they could obsess over primping up one of their siblings. In fact, seeing Leni and Lincoln get into a passionate discussion over whether lipstick or lip-gloss was better suited for her date and the violent staredown that followed, Luan was right where she ought to be.
Luan merely underwent what has slowly been becoming a Loud family tradition where the siblings spring to action to get one of their own ready for their date. It didn't matter if said sibling wanted their involvement or not, once they caught wind of someone going on a date, everything that wasn't important to their health would be dropped and making their sister look their best would be the only thing to occupy them. Lori even saw fit to come home from college, hundreds of miles away, for the night solely to help them out.
The noisy and pervasive arguments then slowly died down around Luan. Her sisters formed a circle around her and ten different minds quietly compiled a judgement; even baby Lily. Luan felt a little daunted with their glares and their silence.
''Hmm.'' Lori scanned her from top to bottom. ''Luan, what do you think? Have we done a great job or a great job?'' She asked with a smirk to go with her confidence.
On cue, Leni dragged a big mirror in front of her. ''Take a look!''
Luan became flustered with pride when she saw her mirror image. She did a spin to admire the mustard-colored dress Leni had picked out for her; one strap over her bare shoulders, and the hem just reaching down to her shins. Her hair was down and the subtle curls of the tips gave it extra volume. The makeup that Lincoln had applied was not overwhelmingly visible, yet made her good features stand out. Luan didn't put a lot of importance in beauty, but she can't remember a moment she looked this pretty or even felt as such. Her expectations were surpassed.
''Oh wow guys! I look all up-to-date!'' Her siblings expected a laugh at her own pun, but were surprised by the inquisitive glare at her reflection instead. ''But I feel like I'm missing something.''
Several of her sisters were puzzled while Lori and Lola frowned instead, offended at the implication that they hadn't delivered stellar work. Luan reached over to a flower laying on her desk to put in her hair, which once properly fixed, squirted out a jet of water, right in Luna's face.
''For the wet kisses!'' Now Luan did follow up with her typical delighted cackle, but Luna was understandably a little annoyed.
''Dude!'' She shouted. How she shook her head in anger sent the few beads of water left dripping down her pixie cut flying.
Luan immediately regretted her prank and backed away from Luna's angry gaze. ''Sorry, sorry!'' Right away, she began bouncing at the spot. ''I'm just so excited!''
Lincoln scratched his temple, confused with Luan's joy. ''Aren't you nervous at all?''
''Puh-shaw! It's like you said before, it's not going to be like Meet My In-Laws! It'll only a small ceremony and dinner with his family. I know the Grahams by now and they know me, there's nothing to be nervous about!'' Luan paused to breath a quiet laugh. ''I think Benny's mom sees me as a daughter she never had.''
Lori whipped out her smartphone and aimed the camera at Luan. ''Now, look good so I can snap a pic for mom and dad!''
Luan grew a small grin to let Lori take a picture of her. She could not anticipate next that right after Lori snapped a photo Luan would be all but dragged out of the room by her sisters. Lana used a roller to remove any visible specks of dust from her dress while Lola sprayed a fragrance down her neck before the other sisters all but carried Luan down the stairs, very eager to see Luan being sent on her date.
When she arrived down at the first floor and her feet touched floor again, Luan had a empty feeling on one of her wrists; reminding her she was forgetting something important to her.
''Hold on, I forgot Mr. Coconuts is still in my room.'' Yet when Luan wanted to walk back up the steps, Luna gently grabbed her shoulders and steered her back down.
''You don't need him, sis! Benny is the only mister that gets your attention tonight!'' Luna's smooth talking eased Luan into growing her smile back.
Despite the lifted spirits, Lori felt the need to give one stern last piece of advice as she opened the front door.
''But Luan, don't perform that 'train to the east' skit. They will not enjoy it.''
With a understanding nod and a clear smile, Luan walked out onto the front porch accompanied by the enthusiastic mishmash of final encouragements of her siblings. Once she reached the street, she headed for Benny's house with a delighted skip in her step.
The date her siblings prepared Luan for wasn't her first, but still one with a lot of significance. Benny, her boyfriend for around a year now, had invited her for a dinner with his family. Not just any dinner though, but a Passover Seder. She happily agreed, even if Luan was clueless at first. She knew Benny was Jewish but barely understood what Passover meant let alone what a Seder was. Through some quick research, Luan learned it came down to a little ceremony, followed by a feast. In preparation for it, she skipped tonight's dinner so she wouldn't come already sated, to avoid being seen as rude for leaving her plate full.
The invite came suddenly, only a few days ago. Having so little time to mentally ready herself, Luan watched comedy movies to divert her worry as she often did, but watching family and date comedies had a adverse effect. Luan imagined herself in those scenes, completely ruining her favor with Benny's family due to disaster upon disaster. It took her siblings' encouragement to make her see that those movies were fiction, not a prophecy. Fortunately, Luan had completely swayed over to brimming over with confidence that tonight was going to be great!
Walking through the crisp early April evening with a fresh spring scent lingering around, Luan looked forward to having a nice evening with Benny and the Grahams. [1]
From a distance, Luan saw Benny waiting for her by the door. Hard as she tried to not act giddily, Luan steadily picked up in her walking pace the closer she got to Benny. The taps of Luan's shoes on the pavement made Benny aware of her right before she rushed herself into a hug.
''Benny!'' was Luan's joyous exclamation.
Benny could barely catch her charge. Luan leaped into his arms with enough force to almost tackle him down, quickly realizing how rowdy she acted, retreated with an awkward smile and a gingerly wave.
''Hey!''
''Hey.'' Benny responded, subdued. He leaned in and gave Luan a brisk peck on her lips.
Luan took a closer look at her boyfriend. Dressed in a black blazer with the collar of a burgundy blouse poking out from underneath; coupled with his tan slacks and a yarmulke on his crimped hair, Benny surely dressed dapper for Luan's taste.
''You look dashing, Benny! Your Sunday best!'' A cheeky grin sneaked onto Luan's face as her eyebrows wiggled. ''Or should I say, sabbath best?'' She mumbled, which she followed up with a giggle.
Benny laughed along with her, though again rather subdued. He seemed uncomfortable. ''Ha ha, yeah… you too.''
Luan's smile shrunk. Was her joke stupid? Offensive perhaps?
''S-something wrong?''
Tugging at his collar and darting his head around, Benny obviously struggled to get it off his chest. ''I know I said this'd be a celebration with only us, Joey and my parents but my mom's family rung the bell this morning to join the Seder and… well… it's complicated.''
Luan lifted a curious eyebrow. ''Your mom's family?''
''They came from Brooklyn. My uncles, their wives, children and my grandma, ten in total.''
Luan mellowed out. Quickly, any sense of alarm ebbed away. ''So? I think you know by now that I'm from a household that's all 'more the merrier' myself!''
Benny's face grew of concern. ''But Luan, my mom's family is… different. They're more orthodox and they can get very…'' He stammered briefly, twirling his wrists hoping that it'd help him find an appropriate choice of words. ''overwhelming.''
Luan remained cheerfully unaffected by Benny's warning and skittish demeanor. ''I'm used to a lot!''
''It's okay if you want to come back later because right now I don't think it's a good idea to expose you to them.'' Benny paused when he saw that Luan didn't waver at all. She didn't see any reason for Benny to fret.
Gently grabbing Benny's hands, Luan cast a sweet, calm smile at him. ''Benny, you don't have to be so embarrassed, I'd love to meet your family! They can't possibly be any worse than mine! Though…'' She paused for a giggle. ''let's not make that a contest.''
Though it seemed like he partially agreed to Luan's case, Benny kept looking a little unsure. Yet, he realized that he couldn't turn away the adorable girl with the dollish face and perky posture in front of him in anyway.
''Okay… come in.''
The warmth from inside poured out when Benny granted Luan entry into the Graham residence and he courteously offered to take Luan's coat. As she slid her arms out of the sleeves, she listened to the talking coming from the living room down the long entrance and the bustle of clinging pans, the sound of knives chopping on cutting boards and other noises from the kitchen that was no doubt the source of the herbal scent emitting from it. She could taste the flavors from the smell and it gave Luan a healthy craving for the feast.
Then, a cheerful, feminine voice took Luan by surprise:
''Luan!''
Coming from the kitchen at the end of the hallway was Benny's mother with arms wide open; a woman whose bright demeanor resonated with the whimsical apron tied in front of her white, formal dress.
''Camila!'' Luan responded just as joyously right before she was enveloped in a hug.
''So happy,'' She gave Luan a thorough kiss on her cheek, followed by a second on the other one before Camila let go. ''so happy, that you want to join us tonight!''
''I'm happy that you let me.'' Luan was flustered from Camila's loving reception even though she has been warm and merry to Luan since Benny brought her home the first time.
Camila then tempered her joy and rubbed her hands, resembling Benny in his worry earlier. ''There's been a little change because my mother surprised us this morning and it has made things a little messy.''
''Benny just told me about it; it's okay. Is there anything you need my help with?''
''All I need you to do tonight is listen, okay?'' Camila grew back her megawatt smile. ''Let's introduce you to the family!''
''I'd love to!''
Bleakness sprinkled Benny's eyes seeing his mother hold Luan at her shoulders and gently leading her into the living room.
''Here goes…''
Luan got her first glance of Benny's New Yorker family:
The men conversed with each other, they looked exactly like the image she had of orthodox Jews: suits, beards, short pipe curls and yarmulkes on their hairline, sitting on one of the couches in the living room. On the other one next to one of them sat a conservatively dressed woman. Luan believed that she saw her wearing a wig for whatever reason. At their feet were children, Luan counted three on the floor, the younger children were scrambling with pieces of paper seemingly to try to sort them out in four separate sheets while the two oldest of the bunch sat around with their parents. She guessed that the youngest was five years old and the oldest twelve. Sitting in an armchair next to Benny's uncles was Ethan, Benny's father and Jonathan, or Joey, his brother next to him. Joey was scribbling busily in a textbook.
There was one of the men's' wives unaccounted for as well as Benny's grandmother, but Luan guessed that from the sounds that came from the kitchen they were helping out there.
''Family? Can I introduce someone?'' Camila spoke. The chatter stopped immediately and plenty of eyes turned to them. ''This is Luan, Benny's girlfriend. He invited her to join us tonight for the Seder!''
''Hello family!'' Luan said, waving gingerly at the family. They responded with small smiles and gentle greets in return. It could've been a warmer reception obviously, but Luan was content with what she got.
''Camila?''
A female voice came from the kitchen. Camila peeked her head up. She has been so gleeful with Luan's arrival that she forgot her other commitments, but she wouldn't tend to them until she finished with her current one.
''Benny, what if you get Luan acquainted with the family? That'll be good!'' She proposed with subtle force behind her suggestion as she lightly pushed Benny and Luan into the living room.
''Okay…'' Benny agreed, reluctance audible.
''Just wait here and chat a little! We'll begin with the Seder in a short while!'' Camila said, shuffling away to the kitchen. Luan nodded. The hungry rumble in her stomach agreed as the scents seemed to get thicker and stronger.
Benny guided Luan through the pack, agilely stepping by the small amount of walking space in the cramped living room.
''Luan, these are my uncles Lazlo and Andres, and uncle Lazlo's wife, aunt Leah.'' He introduced them by stretching an arm out to his uncles. Benny's aunt was the first to extend a hand over to Luan. Luan shook it and held her arm stiff for the uncles who after a moment of awkward consideration did a fleeting handshake with her as well. Benny had already turned to the children before Luan had let go.
''Some of their children; Ferenc, Eva, Rebecca, Klara and Gabor.'' Benny continued, pointing at each child from oldest to youngest in rapid succession.
''Hi!'' Luan gleefully mouthed at them, the younger ones in particular. Compared to their parents, their smile was more pronounced and open.
With the new faces introduced, Benny went to sit down in two unoccupied chairs next to Benny's father and brother. ''And these two need no introduction methinks.''
''Hi Luan.'' Benny's father calmly greeted from his lazy chair.
''Ethan you old desk-jockey! How are you doing?'' Luan greeted him loudly heartily with a firm pat on his shoulder before she sat down in between him and Benny.
''So Benny roped you into this as well?'' Ethan guessed, Luan's enthusiasm rubbing off on him slightly.
Luan shrugged her shoulders slightly pondering on the answer. ''It's not bad so far.''
''You're saying that now. I married into this, and you better get out while you still can!'' Ethan followed his advice up with a short, hearty laugh that Luan shared with him.
After the humor had worn off, Ethan cast a glare over to his other side where Joey sat. He had tirelessly continued scribbling in his book; probably not even really noticing Luan being introduced.
''Joey!'' Ethan repeated.
''Hmm? Oh hi Luan.'' He was able to spare giving Luan a slight, kind smile before he looked back at his material.
Benny shook his head. ''Same old Joey.'' He mumbled.
Luan covered up her mouth and giggled; Joey was always busy with homework, but according to Benny he hardly got the good grades to show for it.
Then Ethan bent forward to prod one of his brothers-in-law. ''Hey Andras, how's that IT thing going?''
Instead of listening to their conversation, Luan let her attention wander around the room. She noticed plenty of lit candles all around the living room. They were the only source of light; not a single lamp was on. They made a cozy atmosphere, even if they made her feel sweaty. Luan began to wonder why Benny was so worried earlier: sitting right in the middle of his family, and sitting with so many in a room it could just as easily be her own while Luan could only wish for the mood at her home to be this cozy and sociable at times. The only thing that kept it from being perfect was the oppressive, hungry pang in her empty stomach, but she had to endure just a little longer; that hole would be filled soon enough.
''Uncle Benny?'' One of Benny's nephews, Gabor if Luan remembered right, asked as he came to stand at their legs. Luan was immediately smitten.
''Uncle Benny? Aw!'' Luan quietly cooed.
''What is it?'' Benny replied. He went down on his knee next to Gabor, sincerely curious for whatever the tyke needed.
''We need help!''
Seeing Benny helping and entertaining his cousins was something she liked a lot of him; he was soft-spoken and great with children. With her own younger siblings too: he entertained Lola by attending her tea parties, happily so even; told Lily stories with so much feeling, and he could endlessly babble with Lana and Lisa about technology, another interest of his besides performing, comedy and movies. Lincoln even grew to see Benny as a surrogate big brother, and the feeling was mutual. Thinking about it made Luan daydream of having children herself one day with Benny, though definitely not as much as five.
Her imagination made her a little giddy: when Benny came back to sit with her, she slipped her hand into his and began to wiggle her thumb in his palm. She tickled his hand, and Benny bit his lip having difficulty to keep a straight face in front of the family.
''Stop that!'' He mumbled.
Luan kept her hands locked when she noticed two figures from the corner of her eyes. All conversation going on crawled to a halt, the children falling quiet and the candles suddenly seemed to lack their warmth when Benny's mother had come into the room accompanying an old woman whose age was printed on her skin by spots and wrinkles all over. Clearly, Luan thought, this had to be Benny's grandmother. The woman looked right past Luan and focused on Joey.
''Camila, what is your boy doing over there?'' Benny's grandmother asked, looking and sounded like she already knew.
Upon her mother's question, Camila grew a harsher demeanor instantly. She sharply planted her hands in her hips and sternly frowned.
''Jonathan, I thought I forbade you from doing homework tonight!''
''But mom if I don't do homework you'll scold me for getting bad grades!''
''I'll throw it in the fireplace if you don't go help aunt Maya set the table right now!''
''Geez Camila, calm down a little.'' Ethan lazily said while Joey gathered his homework, making it into a hasty, sloppy bundle.
Lightly spooked, Luan hadn't yet seen this sudden, aggressive attitude of Camila before. Even knowing she was strict with her sons, it felt unnatural for to hear her shout and use harsh threats. It confused Luan, and she was puzzled further when Benny suddenly pried his hand out of her grasp.
As Joey scurried out of the living room, the old lady turned to finally notice Luan. She looked her up and down, before turning back to Camila and then talked to her in a language Luan did not understand.
''This is Luan, ima; Benny's girlfriend!'' Camila answered in English, her mood being normal and pleasant once more.
''His girlfriend? From that puppet thing he has, I thought he'd end up a kiddy fiddler.''
Even if Benny glowered darkly, Luan couldn't help herself but emit a humored snort as his expense.
''Luan, this is safta Talia Nemeth, my mother!''
''How do you do, miss Safta?'' Luan reached a hand out to safta Nemeth to shake it, putting up a pleasant smile.
''No no, Luan? Safta means grandma!'' Camila hastily explained in a quick, hushed, but friendly tone.
''Oh, sorry.'' Luan gulped.
Grandma Nemeth remained frosty. She didn't shake the hand Luan offered and didn't seem intent on ever doing so as she inspected Luan up and down. She examined her from head to toe with a inquisitive glance, her gaze lingering at several places as she squinted her eyes and cocked her head. Luan kept her smile, but it gained a uncomfortable quiver from grandma Nemeth's inspection.
''This is the girl we waited for? I hope she's got better manners than being late.''
Luan lowered her hand and was left miffed with the bitter greeting. Meanwhile, Camila remained standing, intently watching every little thing going on. Though, Luan could see her throw subtle yet harsh gestures at her husband to get out of his armchair. He complied, and grandma Nemeth claimed the chair as if it was always her own while Ethan was relegated to take Joey's place.
''Now, where're you from, kid?'' Grandma Nemeth asked.
''From Royal Woods. I live a few blocks away.''
''No no no! Where did your elders get off the boat from? Do you have Irish blood? Polish? You sound a little Italian…''
''Grandma…'' Benny tensely hissed.
''Let Luan answer Benny. It's a perfectly normal question.'' Camila responded.
''Uhm…'' Answering was a struggle. Luan was overwhelmed with the sudden, strange question and frankly she didn't even know what she descended of. She remembered doing a project about it in elementary school, but didn't care much for it. The grade she got for it was unremarkable too.
''Uhm… D-Dutch I think!'' Luan immediately hesitated. ''Or… Scottish?''
''Bah!'' Grandma Nemeth growled dismissively as she crossed her arms. ''Any way, you're not Jewish are you, missy?''
''Uhmn… no.'' She answered with a slight shrug and a lopsided smile.
''I can tell… because if you were you'd cover yourself up more decently on a night like this.'' She scowled at Luan's bare shoulders.
''Oh! Uh-'' Between her flustered stammers, Luan wrapped her arms around her shoulders in a flash of embarrassment. With her harsh verdict dealt, grandma Nemeth casually folded her hands and relegated herself to spectator. With all eyes on her, Luan grew mortified realizing that she had indeed clothed much more frivolous when compared to everyone else's conservative dress. With a uncomfortable grimace, Luan turned to Camila. ''Should I go home to change? Or-''
''No no, come here!''
Camila guided Luan into the hallway and towards her bedroom upstairs notably harsh and rushed as if Luan was dangerous goods. In her bedroom, clothes flew everywhere as Camila frantically dug through her closet. Luan stood at the side with her arms were still wrapped awkwardly over her chest. She still felt the lingering uneasiness and the confusion why she wasn't told of her inappropriate way of dress earlier.
''Camila? Was I really too late?''
''Here.'' Camila whispered, helping Luan into the gray coat. It was big for Luan, she almost drowned in it but she didn't feel like complaining right now, she was happy that her mistake could be corrected.
''Thanks Camila, and sorry!'' Luan awkwardly apologized.
''Tut tut!'' Camila gave Luan's shoulder a quick rub before they went back into the living room.
Camila looked out of the living room window and saw that dusk had fallen: faint smudges of orange and purple left in the dark sky told her everything she needed to know.
''Alright, the sun has set. It's time for the Seder. Would everyone follow me to the dining room please?''
A mass migration started. Benny and Luan lingered in the tail of the group that migrated to the beautifully decked out dining table. Plates, wine glasses filled with a red liquid, fine cutlery as well as small booklets were set up at each chair. In the middle of the table stood a bigger plate with several separate compartments containing bitesize amounts of the different types of food served among which a egg, leaves of parsley, sliced onion, herbs of some sort, a brownish paste, a small bowl of olive oil as well as… a charred bone? On another plate close by were three flatbreads, stacked on top of each and separated by napkins. It seemed like very little to feed a group as big as this, but Luan guessed it were appetizers of sorts.
Sitting down with Benny, Luan could just pig in on what little was presented already. Her stomach growled loud enough she worried it might offend the rest, but she wasn't hungry enough to forget that there was still a ceremony to be had.
Camila appeared, and she had put on a white robe as she took to stand at the head of the table.
''Benny, will you recite the blessing, or the kadesh, before we drink the first cup of wine?'' Camila requested.
Benny rose from his chair. Following a quick cough, he recited a prayer from the booklet. Listening to him, Luan swooned with half-lidded eyes, slumping over on the table slightly. Benny spoke in Hebrew, Luan didn't understand a single word of it but it gave Benny a certain exotic appeal, especially the way he scraped the kh sound. Luan was blissfully unaware that her awe was on show for everyone at the table.
When Benny was done, he sat down while his mother stood up again. ''With the blessing, we may drink.''
The table placed the glasses on their lips and drank but Luan was unsurely stirring her glass. Taking a quick glance to her side, she saw Camila giving her a smile and a nod to her. Without thinking, Luan swallowed the broth in one gulp and relieved to discover it was grape juice. Who knows what her parents would think if she get actual wine? It was probably what the other minors on the table got as well.
As Camila spoke, Luan leaned over to Benny.
''That sounded nice.'' She whispered.
''Well, to be honest I only get like half of what I'm saying. I didn't pay so much attention at Hebrew School; it cost me my free Sundays!'' Benny admitted, making Luan giggle.
After the last glass was put down, the family suddenly got up and formed a line to the kitchen. Luan lost Benny in the crowd, and in the confusion found herself halfway at the end of the queue. To her left was a freshly prepared buffet of delicious-looking meals simmering on the counter, but Luan was currently more interested in what was going on ahead of her. With both curiosity and anxiety, she tried to get a peek into the kitchen where the only thing she could clearly see was Camila standing at the kitchen sink, holding a large, two-handled pitcher. The sight gave more confusion than answers. Fortunately, grandma Nemeth was in front of her; she'd probably know what was going on.
''Excuse me, s-safta?'' Luan asked, tugging the lady's dress. ''What are we standing in line for now and what's with the large canteen?''
''You don't know?''
Luan shook her head.
''Camila pours water out of that thing, and we each drink some to down the wine.'' Grandma Nemeth answered after a short pause.
Luan raised a curious eyebrow. ''Is that it?''
''I've been having seders for 82 years now dolly. Don't you think I know?''
Luan couldn't argue with that fact, but it did sound a little odd. Steadily, the line moved but Luan remained none the wiser what exactly was going on as grandma Nemeth blocked her entire view of what she was doing. With her turn now, Camila poured water into the sink and Luan cupped her hands under the flow, earning herself a odd look from Camila once she slurped the water up.
''What are you doing?'' Camila asked, puzzled.
Luan remained frozen in uncertainty, beginning to suspect she was doing something wrong. ''Drinking it?''
''No no silly girl, we wash our hands from this!''
Luan looked over her shoulder and saw the remaining few members of the family sharing Camila's stupefied glance. There were no words to waste on excusing herself, only a red blush gave away how awkward Luan felt as she gave washing her hands another try, letting Camila pour water over her right hand first, and her left hand second.
As she shuffled back to her spot at the table, Luan wondered why grandma Nemeth gave her the wrong instruction. Was she possibly going senile? No, that was a wrong thing to suggest. Besides, she seemed perfectly sound of mind otherwise. Luan had seen actual senile elders in her grandpa's retirement home and they were remarkably different in behavior. Luan choose to put up a bright smile, whatever it was it was behind her now. It was time for a good meal!
Back in the dining room, she sat back next to Benny.
''Let me recite a blessing before we eat the karpas.'' Camila announced. After another chant in Hebrew, several members of the family reached for the plate in the middle and one by one they took the stalks of parsley, dipped it in the bowl of salt water and ate it. Luan eyed the vegetables in puzzlement. It must've been an appetizer of sorts…
''Come on Luan, have some.'' Benny told her, and after a encouraging nod from Camila, Luan reached for the parsley as well. Under a harmony of munching from the rest of the family, Luan dipped a couple of stalks in the salt water and put them in her mouth: the taste of salt and green onions was peculiar, but not unappetizing at all on an empty stomach. She ate another stalk, and another one, and another one…
''Hey, don't they feed you enough where you're from?'' Grandma Nemeth asked as she eyed Luan. Given her exceptional loud tone of voice and the soft cackle that followed her question up, everyone else followed her example to notice her with a mouth full of parsley; an undignified sight. ''Maybe if you take those braces out, you can just a little more; worth the try!''
Grandma Nemeth's quip caused some laughter, particularly from Benny's uncles and the oldest few of his cousins, which in turn aroused discomfort in Luan.
Benny titled his head and growled behind his lips. ''Grandma…''
''Luan, take it easy. You're supposed to eat calmly.'' Camila pointed out.
''But- okay.'' Luan relented.
Aside from a quick afternoon snack, Luan hadn't eaten since lunch; she was famished. She didn't think clearly and didn't realize she let herself go on the parsley. She caught a few more glances from Benny's extended family until Camila reached for the plate with the flatbreads. She took the bread in the middle and broke it in half, to put the smaller half back between the cloths. She handed the other piece to Joey, who then stood up.
''And choose an easier spot this time…'' She told him softly, but with ample annoyance.
''What is he going to do with that?'' Luan asked as Joey disappeared from the room.
''Joey's hiding that piece of matzah, and the little ones have to find it later on.'' Benny explained. ''It's a little game to keep the kiddies entertained during the dinner.''
''Ah…'' Luan mumbled as she rested her head on one of her arms. She thought the idea was cute, but felt too sluggish to really show that enthusiasm.
''Sounds like something you'll like.'' Grandma Nemeth guessed sardonically.
''Well… I'm young at heart!'' Luan guessed with a shrug.
Camila went round the table to pour wine or juice in everyone's glass a second time when Luan saw one of Benny's aunts nudging the youngest of the kids; Gabor if Luan remembered right. He got from the woman the cards they've been trying to piece together earlier. Gabor sang, occasionally with a stutter:
''Sheb'chol haleilot anu ochlin chametz umatzah, halailah hazeh, kuloh matzah?''
''Sheb'chol haleilot anu ochlin sh'ar y'rakot, halailah hazeh, maror?''
''Sheb'chol haleilot ein anu matbilin afilu pa'am echat; halailah hazeh, sh'tei f'amim?''
''Sheb'chol haleilot anu ochlin bein yoshvin uvein m'subin; halailah hazeh, kulanu m'subin?''
''Well, Gabor, why is this night unlike other nights?'' Camila asked before reaching a hand out to Luan. ''And I ask in English so our guest will hear too.''
It didn't please grandma Nemeth. She crossed her arms and grumbled. ''Bah, always having to adjust to the minority.''
''On this night, we remember how our ancestors were freed from slavery. Long ago…''
Luan wanted to listen, really, but the story Camila told was shaping up to be a long one. Due to running low on blood sugar, she couldn't focus on Camila's tale, and her talking was reduced to a hollow mumble in Luan's ears. The parsley wasn't enough to sate the void that was widening inside her. She felt faint, weak, and looking at her hands, they were trembling from hunger.
Benny leaned his head over to Luan. He must've sensed something was wrong with her. Either that, or he noticed her discomfort.
''Luan? Are you alright?'' He muttered, concerned.
''Please, may I be excused?'' Luan then requested to Camila.
''Can't it really wait, Luan?'' Camila asked.
''I'm sorry, no.'' Luan stood up and headed for the toilet down the hallway and locked herself in.
Luan was at a loss for what to do. The hunger was gnawing at her without the feast in sight, but she didn't feel like she could last much longer. Normally she would put Mr. Coconuts on her hand and converse with him for a possible solution, but now Luan's wrist was bare. She didn't take a cellphone she could use to ask her sisters for advice; she was stuck here on her own devices. A curious thought suggested she sneak off to the kitchen and nibble something from the food there. She saw plenty of delicious things: soup, meat. But… that was risky with the dining room right besides the kitchen, not to mention scandalous if she was busted. There was no other option than to sit tight and wait, so Luan shuffled back to the dining room.
''-Moses returned to Egypt, and he commended to the pharaoh: 'Let my people go!'.'' Camila told with lively gestures when Luan returned to her seat.
Luan begged that the pharaoh was a chill guy and granted Moses's wish without buts or ifs and the story ended happily ever after right away. Luan gave listening another try, but Camila's story was still like a droning buzz that was almost drowned out by her growling stomach.
''Hey Benny?'' Luan whispered. Maybe if she talked to him she could distract herself.
''Ssh, listen to ma, This is the important part.''
Luan leaned back, dejected.
''-And everything we do tonight has a meaning. By dipping the karpas in salt water, we remember the bitter tears shed by our ancestors.''
''I'm sorry, but when is the feast?'' Luan didn't mean to ask, especially not so soon; it was purely her hunger talking.
Camila was taken aback with the question, while most of the family didn't understand what to make of this sudden request either. Grandma Nemeth however, was not impressed.
''Do you see that book near your plate, kid?'' Grandma Nemeth asked.
The booklet, that Luan had laid aside when sitting down, was impossible to miss and she held it up. ''This?''
''That's the Haggadah. All the steps of a Seder are dictated in it.''
Luan flipped the Haggadah open, and to her grief quickly discovered there were fifteen steps in total, and no less than seven steps left until the dinner.
''Oh…'' The horror sprinkled in Luan's grimace.
''It's like you don't want to be here, kid.'' Grandma Nemeth remarked.
''No I do, but…''
''Do you even know what Passover is about?''
''It's… like Easter, right?'' Luan guessed awkwardly.
This wrong assumption caused a wave of indignation to course through Benny's extended family, starting with grandma Nemeth. Even Camila seemed vexed somewhere below her motherly expression, what unnerved Luan the most.
''Camila here just told the entire story and you still have no idea what it's about. Are you even paying attention?'' Grandma Nemeth asked, accusingly.
''I find it respectless.'' One of Benny's uncles said.
''Very rude.'' His wife agreed.
''Grandma, uncles, please-'' Benny tried to plead, but his soft voice couldn't make a difference at the moment.
''I have to agree with my brothers Luan, I don't think you're listening at all.'' Camila stated.
Luan felt like she was being forced in a corner now even Camila, the woman who she was sure saw her as a honorary daughter, started criticizing her. It was like performing a comedy act to a tough crowd; only worse.
''Some girlfriend you got Benjamin, wasting an invitation for a family gathering. What do you see in her?'' Grandma Nemeth asked.
Luan growled and gritted her teeth. A vigor stronger than the hunger rose. She had been patient enough with grandma Nemeth, but Luan didn't give her the benefit of the doubt anymore: she wasn't being forgetful or just a little grouchy, grandma Nemeth was bullying her, and she had just pushed the wrong button.
''Okay that's it!'' Luan asked, voice sharply raised as she banged her hands on the table strong enough to spook the rest of the family as she stood up. ''You have belittled me every time we have talked tonight! What's your problem with me?!''
''There; I take offense to you, poppy. You're let in here for the seder but you have your head only on the food and because you got matzo fever for Benjamin over there.''
Be it the frustration, the hunger or both, Luan felt unrestrained with her thoughts on grandma Nemeth regardless of what she was telling her.
''If you take so much offense to me then why don't you go back to Brooklyn you fucking Yid?!''
The silence that followed could kill. Going around the table were plenty of offended faces from Benny's extended family. His aunts covered up the ears of some of their youngest children despite the silence, Benny's uncles shared their wives' offense. Ethan and Joey seemed more confused or disappointed with Luan above anything else, but grandma Nemeth contrarily treated her to a scowl of utter unambiguous, unbridled disdain unlike what she had shown for Luan all evening.
Luan's glare softened very slightly, but the anguish and guilt that she had over letting her anger take over and severely overstepping was definitely there behind it. She tried to lock eyes with Benny hoping that he'd help her out somehow, but he looked clueless how to act. Camila tried to keep a expression as neutral as possible, but the grim hints of disgust Luan read off of her boded disaster.
''Luan…'' Camila hung her head, not even granting Luan eye contact as she spoke. ''I think it's best if you go now.''
Without saying a word, Luan stepped away from the table. In a beat she looked around, desperately hoping for anyone to support her. But the family remained frozen in how they viewed Luan. Luan's brows arched upward realizing she couldn't claim support from people who she just cruelly insulted, not even her boyfriend, and left the table. She took off the jacket Camila lent her and with wet eyes, grabbed her coat off the rack and left the residence.
With the alleged nuisance gone, everyone seemed a little dazed from what just happened. Camila awkwardly rubbed her hands and wished for a pleasant ambiance to the table while not being sure how to accomplish that.
''Well, where were we?''
Benny, whose glance had gradually soured since Luan left, suddenly stood up in a angry huff. ''I'm going.''
''Benny! Come back here!'' His mother yelled. Benny didn't even look back as he headed for the front door.
''Let him!'' He could hear his father say, almost demand, to his mother before Benny followed Luan out of the house.
Huddled up on a bench in the dark sat Luan, whimpering quietly. Her makeup had started running from the tears, smearing her cheeks in a very undignified way. What started out feeling like it was going to be a great evening turned into her spewing a slur and being kicked out. She was ashamed by how she had disgraced herself to Camila, and certainly to Benny as well. They doted on her, and now Luan wasn't even sure if they even wanted to see her again. Just thinking about it made Luan pitch a weep.
''Hey.''
While Luan was withdrawn with grief, Benny had come and sat down next to her. Even with the gentle face he put up, Luan acted rather skittish as she expected the worst.
''Benny-'' Luan creaked.
''Ssh.'' Benny placed a finger on his lips until Luan's sobs went silent. ''Wipe your tears first.''
Benny offered Luan a white handkerchief. When she grabbed it, a chain of brightly colored handkerchiefs slid out of Benny's sleeve after it. No matter how silly the trick was, it was enough to make Luan breathe a weak but sincere giggle.
Seeing a smile back on Luan's face made Benny himself smile calmly as well as Luan wiped her face.
''Now I remember why I never put on makeup!'' Luan griped in a mix of sadness and humor as she struggled to wipe the cosmetics off as it left traces on her cheeks. ''Gross.''
''I don't think you'd need it anyway.'' Benny replied. Luan didn't respond, still too busy cleaning her face. When she was finally done, Benny courteously offered to take the handkerchiefs back and stuffed the chain back in his sleeve. They both leaned back on the bench, quiet as the night around them. Both doubted whether to talk for a while, until Luan mustered the courage to speak.
''I'm sor- I'm so sorry, for everything! For ruining the night, for not listening to you, the insult, can you forgive me?''
''Would I not if I came running to check up on you?'' Benny grew his gentle smile back and wrapped an arm around her to pull her close. His warmth comforted Luan. The affirmation was important, it put her at ease.
''I bet I fouled up as soon as I came in.'' Luan buried her face in Benny's shoulder.
''That's not true; you left a good first impression. You even got my uncles to shake hands with you and they never do that with other women!''
''But now they do hate me.'' Luan mumbled, following it up with a sniff.
Benny titled his head and clicked his mouth. ''I don't think they liked you saying 'fucking Yid' but don't worry about it: dad and Joey probably don't care much and ma will get around soon; she dotes on you!'' He said while curling a strand of Luan's hair around his finger.
A smile slowly grew on Luan's face, along with a hopeful twinkle in her eyes when she heard Benny assure her that.
''It's just grandma Nemeth who spoiled the whole night. She took a dislike the moment she saw you, and projected that on ma and my uncles.''
''What?'' Luan lifted her head up so her confused face met Benny's.
''That's what my grandma has always been like. She kept my mother and my uncles on a tight leash. They're so afraid to wrong her that they'll do anything not to cross her. So if grandma Nemeth wants them to disapprove of you, she'll only have to put up the attitude and they'll follow!'' Benny paused slightly to rub his neck. ''I think my parents moved out of Brooklyn to get away from her, but sometimes she still comes to visit, and then ma acts like this again.''
Luan idly darted her eyes around. ''What would've made her like that?''
Benny's cocked his head in thought. ''Tough childhood maybe? She did go through a lot moving and settling in America.''
Luan darted her eyes around, listening to Benny. ''But why did she hate me?''
''I don't know, but it's not just you. She despised my dad since meeting each other and if I have to take his word for it, she didn't hold back: badmouthing him everywhere and even tried to break him and ma up, only because he wasn't Jewish. And let's not get into detail how she treated Joey and his girlfriend last Chanukah. TL;DR, she broke up with Joey right after.''
Benny pulled his arm back to lean his body on his legs instead. ''That's just how grandma Nemeth is: no one is good enough, not even other Jews! She'll always find fault in everything and everyone she doesn't like.'' With a cheeky smile, he rubbed the tip of his nose. ''She's got a nose for that you know?''
With a slightly puzzled glance, Luan gauged Benny. Judging from the look he gave her, he meant it exactly the way she thought was. She breathed out a quiet gasp: shocked over Benny's crack, but undeniably humored as well if guiltily so.
''Benjamin Emre Graham how can you make such jokes?'' Luan playfully lectured him through her grin.
''Hey I'm allowed to apparently.'' Benny laughed at his joke, and Luan's reaction as his girlfriend laughed along silently with him. When the humor had worn off and their laughs had regressed into mere sighs, he idly looked up to the sky.
''With that said, now you know why I thought you could better come another time.'' He said, both calm again.
''Yeah, I figured that out. I should've listened to you, but I just looked forward to a dinner with your family so much!''
Benny shot Luan a sly smirk. ''Bet you didn't realize it'd be more than just a dinner, right?''
Luan reflected on Benny's question, and now that her judgement was not tainted by emotion, something became crystal clear to her. ''Yes… now I know.''
Benny then stood up. He offered a hand and once Luan took it, was pulled up to stand with him. ''I think the Burpin' Burger is still open, do you want me to buy you something? You must be pretty hungry.''
''No… I want to go back to your home.''
Benny was stunned with shock. ''You're joking.''
''No, for once I'm not.'' Luan declared before she walked back where she came from. Benny was miffed, but instead of trying to dissuade her, he said nothing and dutifully followed her home.
''You got this.'' Was what Benny said before he opened the front door. Going back into the Graham residence, the family still sitting at the dining table as if they hadn't moved at all since Benny left.
''Camila, Benny and the snout are back.'' Grandma Nemeth moaned loudly, probably on purpose.
Luan walked into the dining room, the confident strut she had reducing to a slow drag once she saw the unwaveringly haughty looks. At the head of the table still stood Camila, whose glance didn't differ from the rest of her family either. The only ones that looked remotely supportive were Ethan and Joey, but were outnumbered two to eleven.
''Luan…'' Camila's look was as ominous as her tone of voice.
''C-can I have a moment to say something?''
''Better not tootsie we're trying to have a celebration here and you almost ruined it no less than ten minutes ago.'' Grandma Nemeth answered unflinchingly callous.
A lump grew in Luan's throat from the enduring hostility. In a brief flash Luan panicked. But looking at Benny, who twirled his hand beckoning her to carry on was gave enough courage.
''I know-'' Luan spoke with a slight stammer. She paused to correct her speech with a quick cough. With hands folded solemnly on her stomach, she addressed the family: ''I'll apologize first for calling grandma Nemeth a Yid; that was very rude. I thought she rode me for no good reason only because I didn't know anything about Passover.''
''Finally, she understands something!'' Grandma Nemeth said. Luan flinched from her harsh tone.
''Grandma, stop it please!'' Benny suddenly chimed in, stepping towards her with angry steps.
''Benjamin watch your tone!'' Camila called.
''No! Passover is meant to be about learning but you didn't even give Luan a chance for that!'' Benny got up close to grandma Nemeth. His younger nephews seemed spooked with his anger, and Benny's mother was already on alert, ready to pull him away from her mother.
Even if Luan herself was touched with Benny's passionate defense, she wanted to take her own responsibility as well and stood next to him.
''But Benny, I really didn't know anything.''
Everyone involved was surprised with Luan's sudden statement.
''Grandma Nemeth was right that I came here tonight with the wrong ideas and the wrong intentions. A Seder seemed like just a sort of family dinner or date to me because I didn't bother to look into what Passover or a Seder really meant; that was wrong of me. Next time, if you'll allow me, I'll come better prepared and informed!'' Luan followed up her heartfelt apology and promise with a inward giggle. ''Then, I hope to Ex-Seder your expectations!''
Slow, subdued and most important earnest chuckles came from everyone else: Benny's uncles, their wives, their children and Ethan, Camila and Joey. Most surprisingly, even grandma Nemeth could spare a chuckle. The lightened mood was maybe the most relieving reception Luan had ever gotten for one of her jokes.
''Well doll, I still think you're a no-good tyke.'' Grandma Nemeth said after the laughter died down slightly. Seeing her crossed arms and stern glare, Luan feared that the mood would sour again. ''But you know what you did and you're bold enough to admit your fault so there's a start. Sit down.''
Getting a approving nod from Camila as well, an elated squeal came from the depth of Luan's throat that never got past her bright smile. Without being told twice, she sat down; Benny followed suit next to her. Once seated, she reminded herself to curb her grin, changing it to a more dignified smile.
''Thank you.'' She calmly said to the rest of the table with a nod of her head.
''Now, I'll take this moment to start over with the story of the exodus!'' Camila announced.
Joey, out of all the children sitting around to him, moaned. ''Again?''
''Sorry Joey, but I haven't heard it yet.'' Luan answered.
From that point on, the story of the liberation of the Jewish people from slavery and the exodus from Egypt were told and Luan listened eagerly. It was a tale she heard before, but never in this context. Her relief to be granted permission back at the table was stronger than the hunger she still had. After a few more customs, the feast Luan craved the whole evening was finally served. Back was the warm ambiance Luan envied earlier, she was in good company, that also treated her as a part of it.
As Luan took a spoon of her soup, she realized how much she liked those traditions. All of them had a lot of meaning such as breaking a matzah was meant to symbolize the Red Sea parting so the people could pass. It made Luan really appreciate what Passover meant besides it being a family holiday.
With an idle smirk on her face, Luan's hand wandered over to Benny's to hold it. She rubbed her thumb in his palm and hovered her mouth over to his ear. What Luan whispered made the hairs in the back of his neck stand up.
''Next year in Brooklyn?''
[1] While Benny's surname was established to be Stein, I went with Graham before that was confirmed and honestly I liked the sound of it better.
This was rushed, this was oh-so rushed. This fic is a balance between parts I ended up loving, and parts I wish I never had to write because I think they lacked substance.
Well okay, this turned out to be more a story set during Passover than it being about it, but I hoped you enjoyed it anyway. Because I'm not Jewish myself, I might have gotten some stuff wrong. If there are things that are really incorrect, please send me a PM with the details and we can talk it out.
This story has been in the works since August… 2019 and went through loads of changes. First, the conflict in the story came from Luan being nervous out of her wits for her dinner 'date' grandma Nemeth's character was vastly different. Instead of being eternally scornful, she was initially pretty racist to booth; frequently mocking Luan for her family's roots. I cut that because while I could laugh at the harsh jokes aimed at Luan's ethnicity, I had to think up slurs myself, it had very little substance especially once I completely changed the overall plot.
Well, with that said and done, I hope you enjoyed reading this and hope you continue enjoying my works. Happy late Pesach and happy Easter!
:D,
-Q.W