It came to pass, on a Saturday morning in late June, that each member of the Loud family, parents included, had somewhere to go. Lori was in Great Lakes City visiting Bobby, Leni was touring a design school in Chicago, Luna and her band were playing in Lansing...you get the picture. Lynn Sr. was at his restaurant, as per usual, and Rita was at home with Lily, preparing for a long day of enjoying her time off. At the last possible minute, her boss called her into work. She could have said no, but she needed the money.

She just had to find a sitter first.

Her normal babysitter was Carol Pingrey, but she was busy. Next, she called that girl from down the street who occasionally sat for her, but she had the mumps and couldn't do it. She gave Rita the number of a friend who babysat on occasion, and Rita called her. On the phone, she sounded like a responsible young lady...and she lived close by, so she could be here in fifteen minutes. Rita didn't know this girl and wasn't entirely comfortable leaving her fifteen month old with someone he had never met before, but desperate times call for desperate measures. She had to start saving for Christmas - she had twelve people to buy for, after all - and the house sorely needed repairs, especially that damn hole in the bathroom floor. She couldn't count the number of times she or one of the kids had fallen through it. Lynn finally covered it with a sheet of plywood, but that was only a temporary fix. Oh, and the van was acting up yet again. She was planning on getting a second car for work and doctor appointments since Lynn refused to get rid of that damn van. Oh, it belonged to my father...and to his father. Jesus, grow up and move on.

While waiting, Rita made a list for the sitter and gathered all of Lily's things, sitting them on the coffee table in plain sight and easy reach. Ten minutes later, a knock came at the door. Lily was sitting in front of the TV, mesmerized by The Fenton Fox Show, and Rita was just filling a bottle with milk. She finished up, went to the door, and opened it.

"Hi, you must be Belle," she said.

A curvaceous girl with long brown hair curled on either side and wearing a dark jacket over a yellow dress stood on the porch. White sunglasses perched on the top of her head and clunky leather boots reached almost to her knees. "That's me," she said with a warm smile. She stuck out her hand and Rita shook it.

"I have everything ready for you," Rita explained as she led the girl into the living room. Belle looked curiously around, taking in her surroundings like a small animal familiarizing itself with the lay of the land. "All of her stuff is on the coffee table. Diapers, wipes, baby powder, baby food, diaper cream, teething ring. She goes down for a nap at one and has to have her blanket and teddy. They're both in her crib. She has lunch at noon, not a moment sooner and certainly not a moment later, and a snack at two. Give her bananas. They have to be cut diagonally with a downward bend. She has bottles every two hours sharp. She likes to take her diaper off and run around. Do not let her or she'll pee all over the floor." She rattled off the rest of her list, and Belle's eyes widened slightly at the sheer amount of effort that went into caring for a single little baby.

Rita went over, knelt next to Lily, and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, honey. Mommy has to go to work but she'll be back soon. Be good for Belle."

Lily ignored her.

When Rita was finally gone, Belle blew a puff of air and dropped onto the sofa. God, what a helicopter parent. Belle had been taking care of kids her whole life and people like Rita Loud took things to the extreme. Oh, her bottle has to be 45.2 degrees, not 45.3. Sheesh, calm down, Karen. Untie the apron strings and let your precious little angel fly for once.

Rita wasn't all that bad, though. Like...nothing she said was unreasonable, but still, Belle got mad tiger mom vibes. Did she let her older kids even go outside? She and her husband had a bunch from what she'd heard. The effort required to keep that many kids in check must be exhausting. Hm, maybe she even had reason to be a tiger mom. Who knew? She doubted Lily needed the level of spoiling that Rita made out. Kids are silly and spontaneous creatures. That's the best part of being a child, not having the rigid structure of adulthood, where everything had a place and OH MY GOD, IT'S NOON, I GOTTA HURRY UP AND EAT SO I'M NOT LATE FOR THE BIG IMPORTANT MEETING AHHHHH. Structure is important, but kids should be given room and space to grow. Don't force them into a little box. And it was the parents who forced their kids into boxes. She doubted Lily cared if she ate at 11:50 or 12:05, just so long as it was around her usual time. Lol, it's not like she had a little stopwatch hidden in her diaper.

Belle drummed her fingers on her knees and waited for Lily to say or do something, but she was riveted by the television. She cleared her throat but Lily still didn't budge. Getting up, she went over and sat down beside her. She hugged her knees to her chest and watched the screen for a moment; a man in a fox suit danced around with a bunch of kindergarteners. Can you say stranger danger? "This is a fun show," Belle said in the slow, patronizing tone one only usses with the very young and the very stupid, "what's it called?"

Lily said nothing.

"I'm Belle, what's -?"

Without looking away from the TV screen, Lily reached out and grabbed Belle's lips, forcibly holding them closed. "Poo poo poo, poo poo," the toddler chattered angrily.

"Fine," Belle said. She got up, sat on the couch, and started texting with her friend Kirsten.

A few minutes later, Fenton Fox went off the air and Lily got to her feet. She stumbled over, slapped her chubby little hands onto Belle's knees. "Poo poo poo," she said, a big, happy smile plastered across her face. Oh, now she wanted to be social.

"Hi," Belle said and looked up from her phone. "Are you ready to be friends?"

Lily gooed and gahhed. Hm. Kids her age could usually talk a little. "Can you say Belle?"

Cocking her head as though Belle were speaking a foregin language, Lily made a little sound of curiosity. "Belle," Belle said, pronouncing it slowly, "that's me. And you're Lily."

"Poo poo."

Belle couldn't help but laugh, then her phone buzzed and she turned her focus back to texting. Lily's brow creased and she slapped Belle's knees. "Just a minute," Belle mumbled.

Lily's eyes narrowed. "Poo. Poo."

Putting the phone down, Belle looked at Lily and thoughtfully chewed her lower lip. "You know...I have an idea." She stood, picked Lily up, and carried her up the stairs. "It's a really nice day and I need to work on my tan. How about you hang out in your crib for a little while and I do that?"

A shadow flickered across Lily's face, but Belle was too wrapped up in thoughts of her tan to notice. In Lily and Lisa's room, she sat Lily in the crib. "You look sleepy anyway. Just take a quick power nap and I'll be done."

Belle hated to ditch Lily like this, but this was going to be the last sunny day for at least a week and she couldn't let it go to waste. Itt was all good, though; Lily would fall asleep and things would work out fine.

"Poo poo poo poo poo," Lily said sassily. She laid down, crossed her arms over her chest, and whipped her head to the side. She looked kind of mad.

Hm.

Well, crankiness is a side effect of being tired, so…

"Do you want me to sing to you?" Belle asked.

Lily closed her eyes and in moments, she was snoring.

A flush of pride came over Belle and she folded her arms. See? She knew kids. She could, like, run her own daycare of something. That wasn't such a bad idea, she thought as she went into the hall and quietly closed the door behind her. Kids could be difficult at times, but if you were a literal Kid Whisperer like her, you'd have it made. Seriously, getting paid to hang out with kids and play with babies would be the coolest thing ever.

After leaving Lily's room, Belle searched for the linen closet to borrow a towel. When she opened the door, she was shocked to find a tiny bedroom crammed inside. From the posters and stuff, it looked like a boy lived here. Huh. Strange place to put a kid but when space is limited…

She eventually found the towels in the bathroom and took one. In the living room, she took her boots off, shrugged out of her jacket, and pulled her dress over her head. She didn't bring a bikini but when you got right down to it, bra and panties were literally the same thing. It wouldn't be the end of the world if someone saw her undies.

Leaving her clothes on the couch, she went out through the back door. In the yard, grass tickling her toes, she spread the towel out and laid on her stomach, her arms crossing above her head. The sunshine was warm and toasty against her skin and the chirp of birds combined with the whine of a lawn mower in the distance to lull her senses. She left her eyelids flutter closed, shifted into a more comfortable position, and hummed to herself.

This was nice.

In less than five minutes, she was asleep.

Upstairs, Lily waited until twenty minutes had passed then sat up. She carefully climbed out of her crib, lumbered over to the window, and stood on the baseboard heater to see into the backyard.

Belle the babysitter was stretched out in the grass in only her underwear instead of playing with her. From the gentle and rhythmic rise and fall of her back, it looked like she was asleep.

Lily's brows angled down in an angry V. How dare she not give Lily her full and undivided attention.

A wicked idea crossed Lily's mind, and the corners of her lips turned up in a Grinch-like smile. Belle was going to play...whether she wanted to or not.

Belle came slowly awake sometime later, her brow pinching and her mind warming up like a car engine on a cold day. She smacked her lips together and scratched her head. She didn't know how long she had been out, but it was long enough that her flesh stung from being out in the sun. She rolled onto her back and frowned. Why was it so breezy?

Her eyes darted to her chest and her heart dropped.

Where was her bra?

WHERE WERE HER PANTIES?

She sat bolt upright with a gasp and covered herself. What the hell was going on? She looked around the yard, but the missing garments were nowhere in sight. She knew she was wearing them when she laid down. T-This didn't make any sense.

Belle got up and jumped when someone called over the fence. "Put some clothes on, you fucking hippie."

She unthinkingly spun around to face the speaker. An old man with a walrus mustache and little glasses glared at her. Realizing she was showing him her boobs and pussy, she blushed bright red and tried to shield herself, crossing one arm over her chest and pressing her hand to her crotch. Her knees knocked and she held them together. "I-I'm sorry...I-I-I…"

Her eyes fell on the towel. Figuring the old man had seen everything she had anyway, she uncovered herself long enough to grab it and wrap it around her. She dashed inside and slammed the door shut behind her. She leaned against it and took a series of deep, calming breaths. The memory of the old man's gaze sent a shiver down her spine. She had never been more humiliated in her entire life, and she'd done some pretty embarrassing stuff.

The real topic was what the everloving frick happened to her underwear. She had them on when she laid down. Of that she was 100 percent certain. Did somebody come by and take them off her?

She instantly thought of the old man.

It had to be somebody, right? They didn't just slide off and walk away by themselves. It had to be him. Dirty old freaking pervert. Was that how he got his jollies? Stealing teenage girls' clothes? What a weirdo. He probably did it because he couldn't get it up anymore. She ought to report this to the police.

Decided, she padded into the living room on bare feet to grab her cellphone.

Her clothes weren't where she left them.

She blinked in confusion and shook her head as if to jog a loose wire.

Nope.

Still gone.

Huh.

A thought occurred to her and she scrunched her lips worriedly to the side. She climbed the stairs, hand trailing on the bannister, and poked her head into Lily and Lisa's room.

Lily wasn't there.

It all clicked into place then. While she was asleep, Lily woke up and...stole her clothes and underwear? Admittedly, it didn't make much sense but it was all she had to go on.

Now the hot topic was: Where was Lily?

"Lily?" Belle's voice echoed through the room, and even before she searched it, she knew it was empty. She checked the closet and under the bed.

Nothing.

"Lily?"

Next, she made her way through the bedrooms, starting in Mr. and Mrs. Loud's and finishing up in the linen closet room. She looked in the attic, in the kitchen, in the garage, and even under the back porch. The last place she checked was the basement. She snapped the light on and went down the rickety wooden stairs. At the bottom, she turned a corner, and there, in the middle of the concrete floor, were her clothes - bra, panties, and all. Lily sat on top of them with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. "There you are," Belle said sternly. She walked over and put her hands on her hips. "Why did you steal my clothes? Your neighbor saw me naked and probably got his first bo -"

She was going to say and probably got his first boner in twenty years but cut herself off.

"Poo, poo, poo poo poo poo," Lily shot back.

Belle sighed and hung her head. "You're mad because I ditched you."

"Poo poo," Lily confirmed.

"I'm sorry," Belle said, "it was really selfish of me and I shouldn't have done it." She hesitated. "Look...if you don't mention this to your parents, we can do whatever you want for the rest of the day."

Lily stroked her chin and considered Belle's proposal. Her features softened and she smiled. "Poo poo poo."

Whew.

"Great," Belle said, "just let me get dressed."

Lily got up and turned away so Belle could put her clothes on.

Picking Lily up, Belle carried her up the stairs.

First, Lily wanted ice cream for lunch, so Belle dutifully filled a bowl with rocky road. Lily clapped and licked her lips. "This is good stuff," Belle said. She took a bite and Lily glared. "Sorry."

Next, Lily wanted to go outside. Belle sat in the grass while Lily toddled around like a mini Frankenstine. Eventually, she got up and chased Lily around, both of them laughing. The old man's head popped up from behind the fence and he shot Belle a withering look. "I see you stopped being a whore. Good for you."

Belle gasped. "There's a child present."

"At least I didn't show her my privates like you did."

Lily came over and launched into a tirade in his direction. Belle took her by the hand and led her inside, glowering at the old man over her shoulder. "Come on, Lily," she said.

Inside, they played with toys and then had a rousing game of hide and seek. Belle shoved herself into a narrow space between Lily's crib and the wall, and Lily found her almost instantly. "Wow," Belle said, "you're really good at this."

"Poo poo," Lily said.

At the end of the day, they settled in on the couch and watched The Fenton Fox Movie. Lily thrust her thumb into her mouth, snuggled against Belle, and fell asleep. Belle's heart melted; she was so adorable.

Just before six, Mrs. Loud came through the door. Belle got up and carefully laid Lily down without waking her. "Thank you so much for doing this, Belle," Mrs. Loud said. She took a twenty out of her purse. "Was she any trouble?"

"Oh, no trouble at all," Belle said and flashed a nervous smile. "In fact, she was a perfect angel."

Maybe that wasn't true, but Belle herself hadn't been an angel either. It was kind of messed up for her to do what she did, and on the walk home, she chastised herself once more for being so selfish. Hey, she wasn't perfect but that's what life is about, living and learning. She made a minor mistake but she would never, ever do it again.

Especially if she had to babysit Lily. She was cute and cuddly, but that little girl did not play.

"Keep your clothes on, hippie!" the old man called after her.

Belle rolled her eyes.

Maybe next time, if she was super nice, she could get Lily to take care of him...