A Zoldyck, despite being destined to be one of the most powerful wizards in history, is never to attend Hogwarts. It's for their own good. They're dangerous, unpredictable, cruel, and will only harm everyone around them. And everyone around them will try to harm them in return. It's a horrible place for a Zoldyck child to be. They must stay within their family home and learn the ways of magic there. For their sake and everyone else's. It's for the best. At least, that's what Killua has been told for his entire life.

So when he receives a letter, his name clearly inscribed on the yellow envelope, the Hogwarts stamp pressed, leaving no room for doubt about who it's addressed to and who it's from, it comes as a surprise. Killua was told his whole life that such a letter would never come, that Zoldycks were banned from Hogwarts.

He shivers. The icy wind bites at his skin as he stares at the envelope, the owl who dropped it on his head hooting in the distance. He's crouched atop the family home, the roof tiles rough against his bare feet. Today's his birthday. He sneaked onto the roof to get a glimpse at the moon now that he's eleven. A whole year older, another year passed with his family. Many more to go. His family didn't celebrate the occasion in any way, but coming out here is his treat to himself. He likes the moon. He likes the night. It's quiet, serene. And it's the only time of day that he can be by himself, away from his family. But if this letter really is for him, maybe there'll be more opportunities to be by himself.

He bites his lip, heart beating suddenly as he fumbles to open the envelope. Can he even dare to hope that he's allowed at Hogwarts? If it isn't for him could he bear the disappointment of having to stay here? The whispered memories of his home—Illumi's cruel words, the harsh training he endures everyday, his family's unbearably high expectations of him, the scars on his back—flash through his mind. He knows. It's worth it, opening it even at risk of crushing disappointment is worth it.

He opens the envelope, swiftly but carefully, and shudders in a breath when he sees his name welcoming him to Hogwarts. He skims through the letter. It's real. There's the list of textbooks and equipment he needs, there's the warning that he must alert the school of his acceptance. There's the headmaster's signature sealing the deal.

It's everything he's ever wanted. Despite being told several times that as a Zoldyck he has no place at Hogwarts, it never stopped him from dreaming. A place where he could be away from his family, learn about magic with people his own age, a place where he could make friends… not a day went by that he didn't think about being whisked away by some well-meaning stranger welcoming him to Hogwarts.

A crunch of leaves startles him, throat constricting at the fear of being caught here by Illumi who would surely rip the letter from him and make sure he never goes to Hogwarts. Illumi would be horrible, he would consider the act of opening the letter a betrayal to the family. Killua shudders to think how many lashings that would warrant.

The source of the noise turns out to only be a rabbit, but it's enough for Killua to realise.

He must leave. Now. He could go to his room to collect his belongings, but it's not worth the risk of being caught. He has no idea how he will pay for his schooling, or food, or anything. He has no idea how he's going to contact the school. But none of that matters for now. He can't stay here. He has never dared escaping before, but only because he had nowhere to go. But now he has Hogwarts.

His parents would be both proud and disappointed at how quietly their son leaves the property, leaving not a crumb of evidence, everything they'd expect the assassin they trained to be.

Killua doesn't look back as he leaves the gate, eyes looking to the road where the sun rises to a new day.

His lungs burn and his feet are scraped bloody by the time he makes it to the nearest town. But it's nothing he hasn't dealt with before. He steals a pair of shoes and clean shirt with ease, now looking less like a child escapee, and more like a normal kid on his way to school. No one bats an eye at him. It's weird, he's never been to the town before. His life has been spent at his home, and others' houses at the dead of night when his family want him to curse someone.

Everyone looks so… plain. Plain but peaceful. He envies them.

He manages to find the train station and scans the map on display for the train that will get him closest to the Hogwarts Express. He'll just have to wait there and hope his family doesn't come for him until the first day of school comes along. He climbs atop the train without being noticed, chest tight as he looks out for any sign of his family. They'd be awake by now. They'll have noticed his absence. But no one comes and he leaves his family and home behind without one ounce of regret or sadness, the prospect of Hogwarts warm in his heart.

Platform 9 3/4 is bustling when he arrives. No one bats an eye at him. A lone eleven-year-old isn't enough to warrant even a look of worry. And while Killua would usually be fine with that, he's hungry, and cold. He already had to deal with two nights of cold and rain getting here. And he still has no idea how he's going to alert the school of his attendance.

It's a lot easier than expected to get food and water without stealing it. It turns out being eleven does help in getting some pity scraps. He only needs to look up at them with round eyes and they crumble instantly. And it's not like he's scared of any stranger, he could curse them before they could even blink. He eats and, without attracting too much attention, tries to find someone who owns an owl. An owl is his only way of sending messages. His saviour comes in the form of a loud and boisterous man with a strange haircut who takes one glimpse of him (and the sad, innocent look Killua plasters on his face), and allows him to use his owl instantly.

"Boy, where are your parents?" the man asks when Killua has finished tying the parchment around the owl's leg. The man's voice is booming, and Killua winces slightly.

Answering this question correctly is tough, he can't say anything too sympathetic like his parents are dead or else the man will never leave him alone, but he can't act so uncaring that the man thinks he has run away (even if he has). From what Killua has seen, the man definitely likes to act tough, but from how quick he was to help Killua, he's the type to be worried about a child on the run, which is something Killua doesn't need right now. He's trained in this area, manipulation, his family taught him how to evade people, but not like this. Not when the person is kind.

"They're at home," Killua decides to say, shuffling his feet purposefully to look guilty.

"And why aren't you with them?" the man barks.

"Because I snuck out."

The man stares and stares, eyes intense, analysing Killua's face, but Killua doesn't break his gaze away, and then the man throws his head back and laughs, so loudly he receives a couple of annoyed glares from the people bustling past them.

"You're a strange one," he says, slightly out of breath from laughing. "I'll let you run around for a bit on your own, but I'll need to get you home safely eventually, okay?"

Killua nods. That was slightly successful, the guy isn't questioning him further but he's still looking out for Killua. Killua couldn't expect anything better from a guy who looks like he'd cry over a puppy.

The man's kindness makes him feel slightly guilty that he'll have to eventually get rid of him. He won't kill the man of course, but maybe giving him a temporary curse to knock him out wouldn't hurt so much. There's nothing else for Killua to do. The man can't hang around him forever.

Luckily for the man, Killua doesn't have to do that. Killua was waiting for the opportune moment to get the man into a less public space to curse him when an old man with massive earlobes, overgrown white eyebrows, and bare feet approaches them. Killua immediately freezes, heart beating uncomfortably fast in his chest, his entire body going into overdrive. Killua didn't sense the man coming at all. If it weren't for the man being directly in front of him, Killua wouldn't have noticed him. What kind of powerful wizard is he? Is he here to take him back to Kukuroo mountain?

"Ah, you must be little Killua," the old man says.

Killua holds back a flinch. How does the man know his name? Killua stares up at him, ready to flee at any moment. If the man motions toward him even slightly, Killua will run. But for now, the man looks perfectly comfortable, not exuding any hostility. But that only proves his status as a powerful wizard.

Killua doesn't say a word, yet the old man hums as if he has regardless. "So you want to go to Hogwarts then?"

Killua still doesn't say anything, but he relaxes slightly. Surely if this man worked for his parents he wouldn't bother with small talk, surely he would've grabbed him without a care. If his parents had hired him, he'd be able to do that easily.

The old man doesn't seem to mind Killua's silence. He looks at Killua kindly, a spark in his eye, and then he regards the man beside him, who Killua notices doesn't seem tense at all by the stranger's presence.

"Knuckle, good to see you again."

"Same to you, Headmaster."

Killua's head whips toward the old man again, regarding him anew. He must be the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Killua could gauge his power before, but he would never have guessed that this old man looks over Hogwarts. He certainly doesn't look like the man for the job, with his unruly hair, and, looking closer, dirty bare feet.

"No need to call me Headmaster, Knuckle, how many times do I have to tell you?"

"Out of respect Headmaster, I can't call you Netero."

Briefly, the signature on his letter to Hogwarts flashes in Killua's mind, recalling a scribbled Netero. So this really is Headmaster Netero of Hogwarts. Why is he here?

Killua only gets a few seconds to ponder that before Netero does something strange. He steps forward towards Knuckle, grabs him by the shoulders and starts shaking him roughly.

Knuckle doesn't even fight back, and the headmaster only does it more enthusiastically, sticking his tongue out as he continues.

What the hell? This is the headmaster of Hogwarts, a crazy old loon?

To make matters worse, Knuckle doesn't even look fazed when the headmaster finally lets go of him, the only sign of being a bit ruffled is the state of his hair which now resembles a mess. Knuckle even laughs. And despite the weirdness of it all, Killua can't help but think this is already better than being around his family. Netero and ex Hogwarts students might be crazy but that's better than being holed up in a damp boring old house. If Netero shakes him, surely it won't hurt as much as what Illumi has done to him.

"Next time call me by my name, and you won't get such a shaking, Knuckle."

"I'll see to it, headmaster," Knuckle says, ignoring the request once again.

Headmaster Netero shakes his head, and looks to Killua. "Well Killua, you've bothered Knuckle enough. You better come with me."

For the first time since Netero showed up, Killua speaks. "Where are we going?"

Netero blanches. "You look like a smart boy, where else do you think we could be going?"

Killua's heart hammers in his chest for an entirely different reason now, and a small smile breaks on his face against his will. He's going to Hogwarts.

Netero takes in his smile and beams at him. "Let's get you back to your family then!"

Killua's blood runs cold, his smile falling in an instant, his palms sweating, ready to fight. Netero's going to try to take him away. Netero's going to make him go back to them. He can't, not when Killua is so close. Killua's mind flurries to find a method to escape, eyes flicking to the exits, but his thoughts veer to a stop by the sound of a loud burst of giggling.

It comes from Netero, and Killua doesn't understand why he'd be laughing, is Killua's situation really that hopeless? Is Netero one of those people who takes pleasure in other's pain?

It turns out to be none of those things. Netero huffs a laugh again and says, "I'm just messing with you! I'm taking you to Hogwarts! The look on your face! That was priceless!"

Killua pauses, taking the information in slowly, then gulps a deep breath of relief. His cheeks flare red, regardless. He's glad it was only a trick, but he's also seconds away from cursing the headmaster to hell and back for scaring him like that. The headmaster must know Killua's heritage, that he's trained to kill, to curse. He must really be crazy to dare mess with him like that, no matter how powerful he is. Knuckle looks at him sympathetically.

"It was good meeting you, kid," he says, and then a bit more quietly. "And don't mind the headmaster, he means well. And I promise he won't shake you… at least not yet. He only does that to graduates. But in the meantime, he will mess with you every once and a while."

"Good to know…" Killua says.

It's the exact opposite, but there's not much Killua can do there, and he's not going to insult the headmaster to his face.

"Well, we better be off Knuckle. Thanks for looking after young Killua, here. You did well."

"Uh, didn't even realise who the kid was, but thanks headmaster. Just doing what I can."

"Even better," Netero says. Then to Killua, "I assume you have a strong stomach?"

Killua blinks. "Yes."

"Good, then hold on."

Netero places his hand on Killua's shoulder, and a second later, Knuckle and the train station platform are morphing into swirls of colour. Killua's stomach tugs and tugs. It feels as though his entire body is being squeezed through a straw. Sound rushes through his ears, chest tight, and Killua thinks for a second he might suffocate, but then suddenly he's in an office, swirls no longer colouring his vision. Instead he's on solid ground. He wobbles, off balance for a second, but otherwise he feels fine. He recognises what happened now, apparition. He's travelled alongside his father a few times.

"You did well for someone so young," Netero comments.

"'S no big deal," Killua says. Because it's not. If something as simple as apparition troubled him, he'd be a complete failure as an assassin.

"If you say so," says Netero, and Killua wishes he'd stop looking at him. He doesn't want praise over something so simple, over something he should be able to do in his sleep. "Now, take a seat."

Netero notions towards a seat by a grand desk, and Killua takes in the room for the first time. This must be Netero's office. It's grand, high-ceilinged but filled with junk. Killua finds he can't walk toward the chair without stepping on something he probably shouldn't, but Netero doesn't seem to mind. If this chaotic mess on the ground is anything like what Killua has learnt about Netero so far, it's a confusing layer of junk to everyone except him.

Killua manages to get to the seat and Netero sits on his desk.

"I got your letter," Netero says. "You want to attend Hogwarts?"

Killua doesn't see a point in lying. "Yes I do… please," he adds.

Netero nods. "You're very much welcome to Hogwarts… but there is a small problem."

Killua sucks in a breath. There it is. There's the 'but'. Killua is never going to be able to attend Hogwarts. He knew this would happen. He knew it would hurt; he knew. But he didn't expect the pain in his chest to be so great, for his breath to be stuck in his throat, for tears to well up in his eyes so quickly. Shame pierces through him, he should've known, he should've been stronger. He shouldn't have been so weak, to hope, to think he deserved more.

He flinches at a gentle hand on his shoulder, and looks up through his tears to see Netero, who looks the most serious he's ever been. "Now, now, don't get so upset. Hear me out for a second," Netero says gently.

Killua sniffs and nods.

"Usually we need parents' permission for their child to be here, but there's a small technicality in that once a student is on Hogwarts' property, that's no longer necessary. That rule was made under the assumption that a student could only get to Hogwarts because the parents wanted them to be here. It's flawed, I know. But it's good for you!

"And technically, students are supposed to pay annually, but I can make an exception for you. As long as you sign a magical contract that binds you to paying once you're out of Hogwarts. Not straight away, of course, but eventually. And no interest." Netero pauses with a knowing smile. "So, what do you say? Want to sign the contract?"

Killua can only stare in shock. It's perfect. He thought money would be the biggest obstacle in attending Hogwarts. How was he going to pay? He had no money of his own, and there was no way that his family was going to pay for it. They'd probably pay to not have him attend. But now he's here, and he doesn't need their money or permission.

Hope bubbles in his chest once again and he nods, vigorously.

Netero laughs, "I thought that would be the case."

Killua watches in awe as Netero flurries his hand in the air causing a piece of parchment and quill to fly onto the desk. Wandless magic. Only his grandfather could complete such a feat, although his mother always said that Killua would be able to do it one day with ease. Killua wasn't sure he could, and seeing it now sends a shiver through him. Such a casual yet monstrous display of magic. Netero really is powerful. Killua thinks if Netero is in charge maybe his family will really not be able to break into the school and get him out.

If Netero is this powerful, his family will not want to mess with him. Killua really will be able to attend Hogwarts.

His hand is shaky as he scrawls his name on the bottom of the parchment. He read through the whole document. There's nothing wrong with it. His quill leaving the parchment seals the deal. He's a Hogwarts student.

Very rarely, when he's happy and alone, Killua allows himself to dance. If Netero weren't here, Killua would be doing the happy dance of his life. He cheeks hurt from how hard he's grinning, and he feels fluttery all over, a sense of relief over the fact that, for at least a year, he's out of his family's grasp setting in.

Killua has never been so happy.

"Congratulations, Killua. Welcome to Hogwarts."

Killua lets himself smile. "Thank you, headmaster."

"It's my pleasure. Now, a teacher will accompany you to Diagon Alley to get your books and equipment, but other than that you will have to stay on school grounds. Is that okay?"

"More than," Killua says, feeling freer than he's ever been in his life.

"Great, then if you'll excuse me I have somewhere I need to be. You simply need to pass through the portrait behind you and you'll be shown to a temporary room. Goodbye." And just like that Netero is gone with a pop in the air.

Killua sits for a moment, a flood of emotions hitting him all at once.

He's a Hogwarts' student.

The next few weeks pass in a blur. Not many people are around, but the people who are never force him to do anything he doesn't want to, they don't tell him to go around cursing people. They're kind, and understanding, and Killua doesn't know what to do with himself. It's overwhelming. All of Hogwarts is overwhelming. The people, the grounds. Hogwarts is big. He's never been allowed to explore and move on his own with such freedom, and he takes the opportunity enthusiastically. He gets lost multiple times, and instead of being a stressful experience, it's wonderful, because every time he discovers something new, it only reaffirms the fact that he made a good decision to come here; the small creature he finds out later is called a Niffler tries to steal his shoes, the elves that help him back to his room when he can't find his way back at night give him chocolate for the first time in his life, the hidden corridors that act as shortcuts throughout the school are endless.

Killua loves it all.

But he can't wait for the school year to start.

It was Professor Krueger who showed him to his room his first day at Hogwarts. They were equal in height, but she was twice as fierce and severe. And despite her telling Killua the entire time she gave him a tour around Hogwarts to tuck in his shirt, to not go in the forbidden forest, and to not walk around the corridors at night, Killua felt safe around her. He could tell she was so strict because she wished him the best. It was… nice. The only other woman he'd spoken to before was his mother, and she couldn't possibly be considered an exemplary role model.

He even felt safe enough around her to nearly mention his deepest worries. About being the odd one out. About being the only one not to be lost in class. About the fact he doesn't know how to make friends because he's never had one before. He didn't voice any of these concerns aloud. But when the tour was finished, she smiled for the first time all evening and said she was available at any time if he needed help. Knowing that someone potentially cared soothed his worries slightly. And then she did something no one has done to him before; she ruffled his hair. He shivered involuntarily. It felt nice. It was such an easy show of affection. Such a kind touch. So far removed from every touch he's had before, that were always cruel, and painful, and invaded his nightmares. And as soon as her hand withdrew, he found he craved more. So much more.

He watched her go, his entire world torn apart by that one head pat, the ghost of her touch lingering. His mother had never touched him in any way that wasn't a slap. He didn't realise someone's touch could be so nice before. He always thought it was something people only put up with, that no one really liked it. He was so very very wrong.

He thinks of that simple head pat when he wakes up sweating, afraid at any moment that Illumi will burst in and take him in the dead of night when no one can help him. But now, there's only three days until the start of the school year and that hasn't happened yet. That can only mean that Hogwarts' security is tight, or that his family is too scared of Headmaster Netero to do anything. There aren't many people like that—strong enough to invoke fear in his family. Killua is glad that Netero could be one of the rare few.

It means that the trip to Diagon Alley, while exciting, will be a stressful experience. At any moment he could be snatched by his family who could be lurking in the shadows. Luckily, Professor Krueger will be watching over him. But while he knows she's a powerful witch, he worries it won't be enough.

She waits for him outside the main gate, and the bundle of nerves that had been steadily building in his gut ascends to an all-time high. Besides the worry of encountering his family, this will be the first time he sees people his own age. He's never been around any before. The closest would be the children in the rare books that lie around the house, or his brothers who were never interested in playing with him.

Professor Krueger, or 'Bisky' as she told him to call her with a wink one night, must notice his discomfort because she doesn't berate him about anything.

"Ready?" she asks in a calm voice.

Killua nods his assent.

One moment the Hogwarts castle is in the distance, and the next Killua faces a brick wall that Bisky immediately starts tapping with her wand. Killua has heard a lot about Diagon Alley, about how wonderful and bright it is. Killua feels disappointed for a split second at how dull it looks before the bricks give way, folding in on themselves to reveal a lively and hectic street proving those people right. There are people everywhere, and it's loud, and overwhelming, but amazing and he gives himself a second to take it in before he strives forward, Bisky by his side.

Despite the amount of people packed in the street like sardines, Killua and Bisky make their way quickly to and from each shop. Seeing so many happy people around him boosts his spirits, and by the time he has everything he needs, his wand in pocket, and snowy owl on hand, he has almost forgotten that he's the most vulnerable to his family here.

Killua is waiting while Bisky chats with an ex-student, his purchases stacked beside him, when his eyes catch onto a long sheet of black hair in the distance. All the warm happiness that was bubbling inside him evaporates in an instant. He looks through the crowd and feels his throat tighten when he can't see the hair anymore. Was that Illumi? Is Illumi coming to get him. Killua shivers, looking to Bisky. He needs to get out of here quickly, but she's still talking to the student. His body trembles against his will, his eyes scanning the crowd again and again for any sign of his brother, his shoulders shuddering through his ragged breathing.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Killua jumps at the sudden presence of a boy. He rips his eyes away from the crowd to look at him. The boy seems to be around Killua's age. He has green hair that's spiked up unnaturally, and concern fills his big brown eyes. Killua watches him warily and shakes against his will, still thinking about Illumi.

The boy approaches him, and Killua flinches, taking a step back.

The boy looks embarrassed. "Sorry for scaring you!" he says, raising his hands up in surrender, his round eyes wide open. "You just looked really scared. Are you okay?"

Killua scans the crowd for Illumi once more, then takes in a deep breath. He needs to get his act together. It's only a boy. He shouldn't be acting like this.

Stop being so weak rings in his ears. A Zoldyck should never show weakness so easily.

He can't have a breakdown in public like this. He can't let the prospect of Illumi showing up get to him. He takes another deep breath, the rising panic in his chest abating slightly and wipes every emotion from his face, letting it settle into casual indifference.

Killua eyes the boy once more. His eyebrows are scrunched up in worry and, looking closer, the boy's eyes are less brown and more of an amber. Killua has never seen eyes like that before.

"I'm okay," Killua finally says. "No need to worry about me."

The boy breathes a sigh of relief, and then he smiles, big and bright, and Killua has never seen a smile so blinding. He almost has to avert his eyes. At the same time, a sudden wave of something surges through Killua. He has never felt it before. He doesn't understand it. But it makes his chest feel fluttery, and his skin warm, and his heart to start stuttering weirdly. Most of all Killua finds he wants to see the boy smile again.

"I'm so glad!" the boy exclaims. "My name's Gon, by the way! Gon Freecss!"

Gon. Hearing the boy's name makes him realise that this is the first conversation he's ever had with someone his age. He was so stressed about Illumi he hadn't noticed before, but now it's all he can think about.

His stomach dips knowing that Gon probably thinks he's weak for shaking so openly in public. Hopefully, Gon doesn't care about pathetic Killua is. But he seems nice enough. More than.

And then Killua realises he should probably respond. He's never introduced himself to someone before. He just hopes what he says is okay. "Nice to meet you… my name is Killua." He doesn't say his last name. The fear of being hated for being a Zoldyck suddenly surfacing. Would Gon be cruel if he knew? Would his friendliness turn to disgust? His family made it clear that anyone who knew would hate him automatically, but they also said it was impossible for him to go to Hogwarts so maybe they were wrong about a lot of things.

Gon doesn't seem to mind Killua withholding his last name. Instead, his face breaks into that smile again, and it's as effective before. Killua thinks he could admire it all day; how his cheeks dimple, how his eyes scrunch up into crescents, how his eyes sparkle. Killua has never seen someone smile so openly and joyfully before. This time, Killua really does have to avert his eyes because Gon says, "Killua's such a pretty name! I like it!"

Killua's cheeks flush against his will. No one has ever given him a compliment like that before. Complimenting his cursing skills, yes, but his name? Never.

Killua is mortified that all he can do is mumble a thanks in response.

He only looks Gon in the eye again when he hears someone in crowd call out "Gon!". Gon looks back to the person and then to Killua. "Sorry, I have to go! But it was so good meeting you!" Gon graces him with one more smile before he leaves with a, "I'll see you at Hogwarts!"

Killua doesn't get to say a single word as he watches Gon run toward a red-headed woman in the crowd. Killua's head churns.

Gon will see Killua at Hogwarts?

Killua's heart jumps in his chest. Of course. Gon must be a first year like him. Killua will get to see Gon again.

Gon, who came up to him and actually cared despite Killua being a complete stranger, who has a smile as bright as the sun. Killua has never met someone like him. And Killua can hardly believe he'll see him again.

But it also means Gon will know he's a Zoldyck at the sorting ceremony.

Luckily, that dispiriting fact isn't enough to quell his original excitement and the prospect of simply seeing Gon's smile again. He doesn't understand why but he finds himself smiling to myself.

Someone coughs beside him. Bisky. A sly smile lines her lips making Killua's cheeks heat. Did she see him with Gon that whole time?

"How long were you waiting?" he asks her.

She shrugs. "Not long at all. And even if it was, it's always lovely watching students make friends."

Killua can't imagine Gon being his friend. Killua doesn't deserve it. Gon looks so nice, and kind, and friendly. How could someone like him want to be friends with Killua? "He's not a friend," Killua mumbles.

Bisky raises an eyebrow. "Is he not? He sure seemed to think you were one."

Killua's heart races. "Really?"

"I'm sure," Bisky says, smiling.

Killua's heart thuds. He made a friend.

Killua doesn't know Gon at all. They're practically strangers. They only had a tiny conversation. But it was Killua's first conversation with someone his age and it might've been somewhat successful because apparently Gon considers him a friend… Killua doesn't think he could be ever so lucky. But he hopes he is.

By the time he makes it back to Hogwarts, Illumi barely even crosses his mind.

Instead, Killua doesn't stop thinking about the bright smile of a boy who thought he was someone worth caring about.