Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Harry Potter. That's J.K Rowling.
"Yaxley!" screeched Lord Voldemort, "Get me more of this caramel butter popcorn! With extra butter!" ordered Voldemort. "Huff, puff, here you are master," wheezed Yaxley. " Avery!, Give me the TV remote now! I had it first!" wailed Voldemort. " I want to watch 'The name's Voldemort, James Voldemort'! Starring ME!" commanded Voldemort. "Yes master, anything master," replied Avery. "Life is sooo easy with my loyal Death Eaters controlling the world. All I have to do, is flick my wand and say 'Avadakadavra' and kill Harry Potter." thought Voldemort. " Actually, maybe not. I'll probably miss my show!" he decided, " I'll get Lucius to do it then. That'll give him something to do other than talking to his stupid snake on a cane," he thought aloud. " McNair! Get me my swimming trunks this instant! I'm very hot, and I still want to stay white, not red!" commanded Voldemort. "Yes master, anything master." said McNair in an robotic voice. " Would you like a pina colada or cocktail, master? Anything, anything you want, master," rasped the barman, Wormtail. "Maybe a mocktail will do for me today," replied Voldemort.
" Here you are, my master," croaked Wormtail. " Wormy! You know I can't have mint! I get indigestion if I have it!" wailed Voldemort. " Get me another one, without mint!" ordered Voldemort. With that, Wormtail slouched off to make another mocktail. He seriously considered deserting Voldemort, this was getting way too boring. On the other hand, Voldemort's laziness would soon show itself, and he would balloon to the size of a baby whale. That would be the funniest thing in the world! As Wormtail thought this, he suppressed a giggle. The giggle soon became laughter, the laughter into snorts, and soon he had lost control of himself, doubling up in laughter on the floor.
" Death Eaters! Think of a plan to kill Harry Potter before I get out of the jacuzzi or I'll kill all of you. Actually, not all of you, but like 99% of you anyway." screeched Voldemort. The Death Eaters gave each other worried looks. They would have to have a plan before their master came out if the jacuzzi.
" So? Got an idea?" demanded Voldemort. " Yes master," the Death Eaters replied in unison. " Tell me!" screeched Voldemort in anguish. " Well, have a Death Eater at Hogwarts, make him enter Harry Potter in the Triwizard tournament under a different school, help him win, have a portkey to here, and then deliver the final blow," babbled Lucius Malfoy, trying to hide his self-pride. " Excellent! What a great idea I had! Let's use my plan then!" announced Voldemort. Lucius went off in a huff. The Death Eaters slowly dispersed. " What?" said Voldemort into thin air. " Come back!" screamed Voldemort. A Death Eater turned round and blew a raspberry at him. " Plftbbbbbbbbbb! Hah hah! We're going to serve Lucius now! Bye! We're going to Hawaii coz I don't like the air here!" said the Death Eater.