Dromos couldn't help but smile at the sight before him. This… this was how things should be. When his King had abandoned Hell life in the underworld had gone truly mad. The demons, normally happy to simply torment the weak humans that begged to be punished (even if they didn't realize it), had left their duties, abandoned the cells, and sought to create a society to simply enjoy themselves. Oh, that wasn't their plan at first… but things had a way of escalating. You set up one little book club to read the best of Bill Cosby to kill time between dressing up as someone's grandma who longed for Ronald McDonald dick and the next thing you knew there were districts with bars and casinos and PETA recruitment centers.

All of that might have been fine and well if not for the fact that demons, by their very nature, always loved to compete. Who was the strongest? Who was the fastest? Who had the biggest dick? Who had the smallest dick? This led to the rise of overlords who began to divide up the sections of Hell into their own territories. Vox. Valentino. Velvet. And those were just three. And under the overlords were the sinner demons of lesser power, all trying to slice away a small bit of Hell to be their own. And where there were territories there were gang wars. So very many gang wars. The Lilim at first battled the sinner demons and the imps and the overlords but soon they too had begun to feud.

Dromos didn't like that. Not one bit. He was old school… insanely old school. One of Lilith's first born, taught by his King himself back when Lucifer had been new at being the Lord of the Underworld and learning the ropes. When the rules were being set down and crafted. Hell was supposed to have order. To be controlled. The human idea that Hell was a wild, chaotic place was utterly false. Earth was chaotic. Hell had an order even in the madness. Lucifer had wanted free will but that didn't mean he liked chaos. Only his own brand of chaos of which there was always structure. He'd once equated it to having an orgy only for one of the guests to suddenly light everyone on fire. The orgy was chaotic but there was a hidden structure; the fire was madness for madness sake. But all that had changed with Lucifer off on Earth and now Hell was a warzone of insanity. And Dromos wanted things back to normal.

And he was getting that now. His King, looking far more terrifying than he'd ever before, demanding they bow. That they return home. He could see it in his King's eyes… Lucifer understood his duty. He would return.

And then he glanced at the human. The detective. The creature that was binding him to Earth and humanity and keeping him from his home. And in that moment Dromos knew that if Lucifer returned it wouldn't be forever. He would find an excuse to return to Earth, to abandon them again and the cycle would continue. And then there was the worry that his King wouldn't give his all to set right everything that was wrong. That he would just sit on his throne and brood about what had been taken from him rather than going about his life with the determination that had marked their beginning. Gone would be the drive to prove to his Father he could do better. Only quiet and sullen acceptance.

In one world Dromos simply left.

In this one… he acted.

As his brothers and sisters left the corpses they'd taken over Dromos leapt forward, pulling from the dark ether a knife that fit comfortably in his hand despite the millions of years it had been since he'd last used it. While his brothers and sisters were more fond of this toy, especially nowadays with their King gone and unable to tell them no, he had grown to hate it and those like it. They were in this mess because of what the knife could create. But this time… this time it would serve him well.

The detective didn't even have a chance to see him before he slashed at her shoulder, cutting through her jacket and shirt and catching flesh and blood. It took only a moment, his King realizing what he'd done and letting out a bellow of rage, but Dromos already had left the body of the disgraced priest. He would be punished, he knew that.

But his King would have no choice but to remain in Hell now.

~MC~MC~MC~

"No… no no no no no!" Lucifer said as he leapt down from the stage and grabbed Chloe as she collapsed, cradling her in her arms. "Detective… detective I need you to hold on, okay?"

"What the hell was that?" he dimly heard and he realized it was Eve, holding Charlie in her arms and part of him wanted to know why she'd come back when the whole point was her getting AWAY from Dromos and the demons, not rushing back. But he couldn't bring himself to care as he was too focused on the Detective who was beginning to tremble and shake in his arms, eyes flickering and rolling about wildly.

"Hell. That's a good word for it," Maze said, kneeling down next to Lucifer and tenderly rubbing Chloe's forehead, which was now beaded with sweat. Lucifer looked at her and she shook her head, causing him to curse.

"Brother… did he… was that what I thought it was?" Amenadiel asked, quietly taking Charlie back.

"It was."

Eve looked at them, brow furrowed. "What is going on? What happened to Chloe?"

Lucifer couldn't answer, his mind racing with ways to fix this, so it fell to Maze to answer. "It was a Conversion Blade." Eve opened her mouth but Maze was already talking again. "It's a tool demons use."

"It's the most blasphemous of creations," Amenadiel snapped, pacing and bouncing Charlie up and down to keep the newborn calm. Dad only knew that it was getting loud in the theater, what with Chloe's whimpers and grunts filling the air. He turned and glared at Lucifer. "I thought you had destroyed them all! I commanded you to destroy them millennia ago!"

"I did… or was going to," Lucifer admitted.

"Father commanded you to get rid of all of them!"

"Oh yes and we know how I am prone to happily do something when you tell me dear old Dad wants it done." His brother glowered at him. "I got distracted, okay? Not the point! We need something to heal her!" he looked at Maze. "Do you know of-"

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" Maze complained. "I'm used to hurting things, not healing! The closest I get to that is when Trix wants to play doctor!"

"What does a Conversion Blade… do?" Eve asked only to let out a shriek when Chloe suddenly arched up, eyes snapping open to reveal only dark inky pools. Her mouth snapped open, teeth now sharpened into fangs, and she let out a scream that ended with a manic laugh then hysterical sobbing then laugther again. "SHIT!"

Maze grabbed onto Chloe's shoulders and forced her to lie down, the detective mewling and thrashing. "That… it does that." Chloe twisted towards her and sniffed before snarling, her skin growing paler as her hair curled and twisted around her like serpents. "Decker, normally I'd be impressed because this is the most interesting you've been since I met you but we're actually trying to help!"

Amenadiel grit his teeth when Eve looked to him for more information. "My brother, in his infinite wisdom, created a weapon to further spit in our Father's eye. Blades that could turn a human soul into a demon. Each blade was forged from a drop of Lilith's blood and Lucifer's own. Stab a soul and it is… infected. Converts it, completely and utterly, into something foul and vile and-" Maze shot him a dark look, Lucifer huffed, and Chloe's pupils decided to choose that moment to appear… blood red and fierce… as she snarled at him. The angel paused before adding, "-perfectly nice being who just happens to be a demon."

"I'll take it but don't ever call me nice again." Maze grabbed Chloe's hand, looking at her nails which were fluxuating between black, red, and green pigments while her fingers had gone from rounded tips to sharp points. "Its getting faster. I've never seen it go this fast before." Chloe lurched again and Xs began to appear on her body and clothing, Lucifer dimly realizing they marked parts of her that had been injured; wounds that had nearly killed her.

"So Chloe… Chloe is becoming a demon?" Eve asked, inching closer.

"She is," Maze said. "And human souls that become demons are… different."

"How so?"

Maze sighed. "Me and mine? We look like humans or angels just… scarred or damaged, you know?" She rolled her neck and allowed her true face to appear before willing it away. "Supposed to represent how mommy dearest was damaged so we are too. But humans? It's like even as demons they want to punish themselves so their bodies get all twisted. I've seen humans who died in car crashes suddenly have engine parts grafted into their demon form. Ones that were mauled by lions become giant catmen. That sort of them. Sometimes they basically look like a human… other times they become literal monsters." She looked at Chloe who had begun to pant. "But Decker here is unknown territory. Never had a living human stabbed before."

"How do we stop it?"

"We don't," Lucifer finally admitted and it killed him to say that. He lifted the Detective up who snarled before sniffing his neck and burrowing her face into his bare skin, pressing her head into the hollow between his neck and shoulder. He felt her fangs (though at this point they were far more than fangs and more like a bear-trap's maw) bite down on him, blood gushing from the wounds, but he didn't wince nor did he feel any true pain. He knew she was reacting to him as her King, just as all demons did, and was seeking comfort as she tried to deal with what was happening to her. The new sensations, the new instincts, all of it. It drove most souls mad and normally that was rather entertaining but that was the last thing he needed now. "I need to get her to Hell."

"Brother," Amenadiel said quickly. "No… there must be-"

"You know what new demons are like," Lucifer reminded him. He thought of the many dangerous beings that had been created from humanity… how all their desires and longings had been exaggerated. For good or ill. A maid who slept with her guests suddenly would become obsessed with cleaning… and fuck anything that moved. A serial killer became like a bond villain. "And this is a living human, not a soul. We have NO idea what she will be like."

"It can't be as bad as-"

"She could be completely her normal self… she might be a monster that brings about the bloody end of days that the humans are always pissing themselves about. She could go on a rampage tearing off heads and blowing up buildings. Or have her emotions taken to such an extreme she begins arresting people for jaywalking. She could become another Cain and decide to become a crime boss… or lose all her morals and just stripe naked and fuck all of us. And normally I'd find that rather interesting but with the unknown I'll put that on hold!" He juggled Chloe slightly, popping out his wings, barely recognizing that they were once more beautiful ivory and not the burned leathery things they had become. "I need to get her down to Hell so the damage can be mitigated."

"I'll come to," Maze said but Lucifer shook his head. "What? Why not?" Maze glowered at him. "That's my girl there!"

"We don't know if Dromos is laying a trap. I need you here so I can reach you and get you to lead the rescue party." Maze considered that. "I promise that if I do need you I'll call for you. Maze… Maze!" He used the same commanding tone he'd taken in the early days, when demons were just Lilith's children and not converted souls. "You're the only one I can trust to protect them." Chloe went stiff and let out a scream that sounded more like the roar he'd bellowed out moments before. This was different than with human souls… so very, very different. Far more extreme. He had to hurry. "We'll be back!"

They were calling out to him, asking him to stop, but Lucifer was already running, heading out the door, moving to get outside, wings flapping the moment he hit the streets so he could get enough life to rise just enough so he could drop-

~MC~MC~MC~

"What… what do we do now?" Eve asked, shifting about nervously. She reached up and began to twirl her hair with one of her fingers, nibbling on her lower lip. "I mean… we can't just go back home after that, right? And all these people and… ew." She suddenly stopped back, wiggling her bare toes in disgust. "I stepped in a puddle of… blood? Oh I hope that is blood."

"That's why most people wear shoes," Maze said though it didn't have her normal bite. Eve grimaced at that, looking more disgusted by the idea of shoes than blood.

Amenadiel sighed. "All we can do is wait for Luci to return-"

"Which I already have!" Lucifer called out with a grin on his face, walking right back into the theater without a care.

If it hadn't been for the voice they might not have recognized him. For one thing his dark locks were a bright blonde and his face so smooth it might as well have been a no-stick pan. He was wearing a white suit with a long ivory coat, complete with top hat and cane; the both of them featuring apples that Eve of course was captivated by. But it was the same sly smile, the same twinkle in the eye, that let them all know this was Lucifer Morningstar.

"Oh, I'm sorry… am I over dressed?" he asked, looking down at his outfit. "I figured for my homecoming I should get dolled up." He looked about, lips pursing in confusion. "I expected a bit more fanfare, you know. Balloons, a cake, strippers… a stripper in a cake with breasts as big as balloons and just as latexy-"

"Party?" Maze complained, angered that he was acting so casual when he'd just put them into a panic moments ago. "Why would we throw you a party, huh? You were only gone for 10… sec…onds…" Maze trailed off as it hit her. "Time… time moves faster in hell."

"How long?" Amenadiel asked his brother, Lucifer taking off his top hat and running his fingers through his hair, causing his locks to return to their normal dark color. He smiled but it didn't have any of the cocky charm it normally did.

"A lifetime, brother. A lifetime."

"And Chloe?" Eve asked.

"Depends on what you mean," the detective asked, walking in and linking her arm around Lucifer's with far more casualness than any had ever seen her have. If his appearance had been a jolt her's was a thunderstrike. Her skin was pale, which simply looked wrong on someone who had lived their entire life in California, and her hair had been grown out so that it nearly reached her ankles. It made Eve's long locks look like a pixie cut. Her makeup was dark, matching the deep purple dress she wore that was at once rather conservative in how much skin it showed and daring for how it hugged every curve. She wore towering heels and was leaning against Lucifer like he was the only thing that could keep her standing up. "It's me… but not the me you knew."

Everyone just stared at her before Chloe… rolled her eyes and smacked Lucifer's shoulder.

"I told you that they wouldn't ooh and ahhh!" she declared, swishing her head and causing her hair to suddenly snap and slither back into her skull till it reached her normal length, though with far more bounce and volume that it normally had. "So that settles it, I'm not growing my hair out."

"Come now, Detective, I think you look ravishing with it." Lucifer leaned in and kissed her neck and while she did scoff Chloe did nothing to stop him.

"Chloe?" Amenadiel said cautiously. "Are… you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she said, removing her heels. "Ugh, can't wait to get some decent shoes. You'd think with how many fashion designers end up in Hell they'd now how to make some sneakers. But they can't get them right. Everything just pinches."

"Well," Eve said, "because of the whole dagger-"

"Oh!" Chloe said, eyes going wide before she waved them off, letting out a laugh. "The demon thing. Yeah, no, its all good."

"So Lucifer fixed you up?" Eve asked.

Chloe smiled… a wide, fanged filled smile as her eyes went red and her head tilted as she stared right into Eve's soul… before shaking her head violently, everything snapping back to normal. "Nope, sorry. Demon here. Or… not." She looked at Lucifer. "What exactly am I?"

"I don't think we ever settled on a name. Archdemon? Queen of Hell? Mrs. Morningstar?" He looked at the others and seeing them still looking at the two in bafflement he looked skyward, begging his Father for patience. "It's been a VERY long time for us down there. More than enough time for the Detective to gain control of herself. She is completely normal now. Almost exactly like her old self. Just… improved. Like a fancy car that gets a new stereosytem. Or a sex dungeon getting a new swing."

"Would you stop teasing them?" Chloe grumped, sounding very much like her normal self; though only Maze noticed the way Chloe perked up at the mention of a sex dungeon. "I've been looking forward to seeing everyone and you don't need to ruin it by making everyone pissed at you."

"But… you are okay?" Amenadiel asked.

"All good. I only slaughter for fun nowadays." The others stared at her and Chloe laughed, slapping her head. "Oh, the look on your faces!" She turned to Lucifer who forced himself to smile and nod at her joke. "It was nothing. In fact once Lucifer told me about how you guys panicked I wanted to let you know everything was fine. Just a big deal made out nothing…"

Behind her Lucifer shook his head rapidly.

~Several Centuries Ago…~

"I'LL USE YOUR BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD!"

Lucifer watched as the Detective, dressed for some reason like the evil stepmother from Sleeping Beauty, cackled as she used a trident to stir a cauldron, in which was Dromos who, despite the torture, looked rather pleased with himself. Another demon, Arnal, was standing next to Lucifer only to glance down and the King of Hell looked down to find his pants tenting thanks to a certain… problem.

He quietly shifted his shirt to hide the bulge.

~MC~MC~MC~

"I'm glad you're okay, Chloe," Amenadiel said. "Though, and I hope you'll forgive me, we'd have been a bit more worried if it had been more than a minute or so for us."

Chloe sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I warned him that it would be very quick for you. I was honestly counting on it. This one though was sure it would be at least a half an hour."

"This one is right here, Detective," Lucifer reminded her. "And I'll be the first to admit that if it isn't grams or dollar dollar bills ya'll I don't do well with numbers."

"So you were down there a long time?" Eve asked. "Centuries?"

"Centuries, thousands of years… time kind of runs together," Lucifer reminded them. "For a while it was getting the Detective used to her new existence-"

"Which was easy, like I said," Chloe said, no one believing her.

"-and after that we had to clean up Hell, get things in order."

"And did you?" Amenadiel pressed. "Are things settled?"

"Very much so," Lucifer said proudly. "It isn't as it was, much to the annoyance of the older demons, but I rather like how it ended up."

"Reminded me a bit of LA, honestly," Chloe said.

~MC~MC~MC~

"And with that the Demon Rams win once again and the Detroit Hellions have a 0-10 record," the announcer said, the demons in the stadium all jeering the team as they walked off the field."

"DOWN IN FRONT!" Chloe shouted, throwing a beer bottle on a fan's head.

~MC~MC~MC~

"Sounds politer than LA," Maze replied. "Wait… we didn't get a football team!"

"The sinner demons came up with it," Lucifer admitted. "Something to do when they weren't torturing souls."

"You gave them time off?" Maze complained. "You never gave me time off!" She walked towards Lucifer threateningly but Chloe stepped in front of her, rolling her eyes.

"You honestly want me to believe you'd have USED your time off?"

"…it would have been nice to be offered."

Amenadiel pressed though. "Hell, brother. Is it secure?"

"Locked up nice and tight… and they won't have time to plot any rebellions anymore. I'm listening in." He tapped his ear.

"That isn't possible, Luci," his brother told him with a sigh. "You know that. Hell runs faster than Earth. Even if you could hear what is going down there-"

"And I can."

"-it would be a buzz."

"IF time was still running faster there," Lucifer pointed out with a cheeky grin. "Finally figured out how to make it match Earth." Amenadiel blinked at that. "You aren't jealous, are you brother? I know time is your bit."

"I just want to know that it's all settled. I would rather not have any of your demons trying to get their hands on my son again."

"Oh, I made it clear my nephew is off limits," Lucifer stated with a casual shrug. "We had to go through a few wars and of course dear old Dad enacting a Purge or two-"

"P-Purge?" Maze whispered and for the first time in… ever… everyone got to see Maze utterly terrified.

Amenadiel didn't blame her. He was just as horrified. "No… no. Father wouldn't do that."

"He did," Lucifer said with a casual shrug. "Though I'll admit I don't know who he sent as it wasn't any of our brothers or sisters who were razing souls. Just some rather creepy synthetic angelics."

Eve cut Amenadiel off before he could begin questioning THAT. "None of that is interesting. I want to know about the Mrs. Morningstar thing!" She darted forward and grabbed Chloe's left hand, yanking it out so they could all get a good look at the wedding ring on her finger. It was ebony and felt icy cold yet at the same time burning hot on her fingertips. "You two got married?"

"Yes, we did," Chloe said and once more her mouth twisted into the deranged and murderous grin, the lights dimming around her so that the shadows made it look like she was sporting horns. "Will that be a problem, Eve?" she asked with mock sweetness.

"Uh… nope!" Adam's wife said quickly. "Not at all. We're good. Honest." She slowly backed away.

Lucifer placed a hand on Chloe's shoulder and she snapped back to normal. "Wonderful to hear. I have pictures if you want to see."

Amenadiel looked down at Charlie and then back up at Chloe. "Oh… oh Chloe."

"What? What is it?"

"I just realized… Trixie. It's been so long since you've seen her. That… that must-"

Chloe sighed, for the first time since she'd returned actually showing a bit of worry and unease. "Yeah that was… even though I knew that she wasn't growing up without me, that she wouldn't even realize I was gone, it was tough. But then things happened and… well… I couldn't leave." She smiled; a tender, beautiful smile that looked so out of place on her darker, sultrier self. "Not until she was ready."

"She?" Amenadiel asked.

"Oh, she means me!" a new voice called out and the three looked beyond Lucifer and Chloe… and their jaws dropped.

The young woman before them could only be Lucifer and Chloe's daughter. They all saw that in an instant. She was nearly as tall as Lucifer, at least 6 foot 1, but had Chloe's sun-kissed hair, even doing it up in a ponytail like Chloe preferred though hers was more elegant, braided with bangs. Her skin was as pale as Chloe's, perhaps more than her's if that was possible, save for her checks which had a near permanent blush. Her eyes were bright and wide, though a pale yellow that should have been offputting but merely looked perfect on her. Everything about her was utterly cute, from her wide (if a bit fang-y) smile to her small almost puppy-dog-like nose. Like Lucifer she was wearing a suit, though her's had a red jacket over her white dress shirt and black tie and her slacks were ebony in color with red cuffs.

But most noticeable about her was how she possessed something neither of her parents had ever truly had, even before Chloe had been turned into demon: joyful innocent delight.

"I'm so glad to meet you all!" the young woman said, hurrying over to first Eve and shaking her head. "Mom and dad told me all about you!" She playfully wagged her finger at Eve and in a jokingly serious voice told her, "Don't think of trying to break up my family, okay? If they want you to join in you can but only if they give you permission."

"Suggesting her parents engage in a threesome… yes, that is your daughter, Luci," Amenadiel said, drawing the woman's attention onto him. "I'm Amenadiel. And you are-"

"Charlotte, or Charlie. Everyone calls me Charlie. I think its because I'm named after Aunt Charlotte so its easier for dad to call me Charlie." Lucifer's daughter gave the rather startled and somewhat bemused angel a hug. "And I told you, mom and dad told me all about you, Uncle Amenadiel! It's like I've already met you." She let him go and looked down at Amenadiel's son, letting out a gasp. "A… a baby! I've never seen a baby before!" She reached down and began to tickle the newborn's tummy.

"Not that many babies in Hell?" Eve asked.

Lucifer and Chloe shared a look.

~MC~MC~MC~

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Chloe asked as she set her 6 month old daughter down on the red and black blanket, an assortment of high quality, if rather dark and creepy, toys surrounding her. Charlie blinked and cooed before reaching out and grabbing a stuffed bear.

Lucifer, for his part, drew her close and gave her a cuddle. "You are the one that said she needed to be around spawn her own age. This one-" he gestured at the snarling, glowering baby seated across from Charlie, "-is the first baby to end up in Hell in thousands of years. Actually actively caused the house fire that killed her parents. Pulled her out of her Hell loop so Charlie-"

The evil little baby reached out, grabbing the bear Charlie was playing with a glare then maliciously ripped one of its arms off.

Charlie stared at the ruined toy and Chloe was about to dart forward and comfort her sensitive daughter… only for Charlie's eyes to go red, horns to burst from her forehead and flames suddenly engulfing the two.

When Chloe finally got her child back in her arms Charlie looked as she always did, was sobbing as she cradled her 'injured' bear, the other baby wasn't there… and Charlie wouldn't be hungry for several hours.

~MC~MC~MC~

"No," both said quickly.

"So who is this little guy?" Charlie asked.

Amenadiel smiled. "His name is Charlie."

"You… named him after me?!" Charlie snatched the baby up and began to dance about the room with him, not noticing the panic several people were experiencing as she wiggle the boy about. "Oh, now I have to spoil you rotten! I'm going to be the best aunt ever!"

"Technically you're his cousin," Maze pointed out as Amenadiel tried to get his son back. "And he was born before you were."

Charlie instantly stopped, her face falling at that. "Oh." She looked down at Baby Charlie. "Well… I can still spoil him rotten as the best cousin ever, right?"

"Right," Amenadiel said, thankful that he had the baby back as Charlie handed him over. "By the way, Luci… did you honestly have to steal my son's name?"

"We didn't steal it," Chloe said even as Lucifer declared that, "You don't own the name Charlie! And she is Charlotte so that is more honoring Charlotte Richards than you are!"

The Charlie in question zipped over to Maze, grabbing her hands and bouncing up and down on her toes. "Oh! And you must be Maze! Mom and dad told me all about you and mom said I'm supposed to say only good things and dad said you'd be offended if I said that and I should tell you how they only called you a badass." She hugged Maze and to the demon's horror the young woman actually squeaked like a chew toy as she pressed her check against Maze's.

"Hey!" Maze snapped, shoving Charlie back and away from her. "Personal space. You ever-"

Maze didn't get to say anything else.

Mostly because Chloe had rocketed forward and wrapped her fingers around the demon's throat, lifting her into the air.

Maze struggled to breathe, looking down as Chloe's hair whipped around her, horns bursting from her forehead and a long thin tail with a sharp spade end slithered down from the hem of her dress. Scales appeared on her hands and wrists and her eyes slitted and went blood red as she regarded the bounty hunter carefully.

"Lucifer puts up with you back talking him because he knows that if he wants he can wipe you off every plane of existence. I do because you're my friend and I'm used to it." Chloe's smile grew bigger… far, far too big for any human, teeth locking together to form a row of triangles. "But Charlie? Lucifer and I taught her a very important lesson in Hell. Charlie?"

Her daughter instantly went ramrod straight and said in a crisp voice, "You don't take shit from no demon."

"Exactly," Chloe purred before squeezing Maze's neck one more time. "From now on… your number one concern is my daughters being happy. You already broke Trixie's heart and now you just shoved my daughter away."

"Mom," Charlie said, laughing weakly, "it's fine. I've had worse-"

"From WHO?" Chloe snarled… her head actually spinning 180 degrees so she could stare right at her child.

"…never mind," Charlie said meekly, Lucifer placing an arm around her.

Chloe nodded before spinning her head back in place. "We clear?" Maze managed a nod. "Good." She dropped the demon and reverted back to her human-looking self. "Good to see you Maze. By the way want my house? I'm moving into the penthouse."

"Yeah, sure," Maze said, rubbing her throat. "Damn Decker… I think you gave me a lady boner." She licked her lips and looked up at her friend with a sultry gaze.

"Human Chloe would have been shocked by that," the detective said before leaning down and poking Maze's nose. "Demon Chloe? You wouldn't survive the foreplay."

"She's right," Lucifer said with a lazy smile.

"Sorry about them," Charlie said, walking over to Maze and offering her hand. "They are in their overly protective phase. Give them a bit and they'll get real hands off." She smiled sweetly at Maze who, thinking of just what Chloe had threatened, allowed Charlie to help her up. "Admittedly they are a bit more overprotective than usual thanks to me being upside and some stuff that happened down in Hell buuuuut…." Charlie gave a rolling shrug. "Parents."

"Wouldn't know," Maze said with a scoff.

"Well, they half the time want you to be independent and the other half are really clingy."

Chloe and Lucifer shared a look.

~MC~MC~MC~

"I'm going to kill her!" Lucifer snarled as he watched that damn news reporter Katie Killjoy mock and belittle his daughter. "How dare… HOW DARE SHE!?" His devil face burst out and he snarled in rage.

"Lucifer, you can't," Chloe told him calmly, moving to stand in front of him, placing her hands on his chest. "Because… I call dibs!" And with that Chloe turned and prepared to bolt to the news station and wipe the bitch from the face of the Earth. Lucifer roared and tackled her, the two clawing and biting as they battled to decide who got to protect their child. And as it always happened with them one thing led to another and by the time each had cum three times the news report was over and Chloe had a message on her phone from Charlie.

~MC~MC~MC~

"But we're now here!" Charlie said, excited. She stood on her toes and did a little spin, arms held out wide. "Oh, there is so much I want to do! Like… walk on a sidewalk! Or eat a bagel! Or look at a cloud!" She pulled out a sheet of paper and began to go over it. "Let's see, what else…"

"This… is your daughter?" Amenadiel asked Lucifer, sidling up to him.

"Of course. Why would you think she wasn't?"

"Its just she's oddly… spunky."

Lucifer shrugged at that. "Charlie feels deeply. And she loves Earth. Chloe and I told her all about it. And why shouldn't she? Earth is wonderful, you know that."

"Of course its wonderful and I'm thrilled your back, brother," Amenadiel stated. "And even more so that Chloe is fine and you two have clearly seen what all the rest of us did."

"I had centuries down there, brother," Lucifer reminded him. "I worked out a lot of my issues and helped the detective with her own." He watched as Charlie mentioned something to Eve which caused the woman to begin giddily clapping and jumping up and down right beside Charlie. "And then Charlie happened and well… we decided to roll with it."

"Which means you might be able to give me tips," Amenadiel said before he realized just WHAT he'd asked his brother. "Oh… oh no."

"Too late, can't take it back now!" Lucifer slapped his brother on the back.

"Sorry about the whole threatening to kill you thing," Chloe told Maze, walking up to her.

The demon… who realized she really couldn't use that as a classification for herself anymore since Chloe was now a demon as well… shrugged off her apology. "It's fine. Believe me I've had worse. But how are you? I know for some souls it can be… tricky… getting used to everything."

Chloe smiled (a normal smile, though her canine teeth were a bit sharper than they had been before) at that. "I figured it out. Lucifer was rather helpful in getting me to remember who I am."

~MC~MC~MC~

"Ta da!" Lucifer proclaimed, waving his hand as he pulled off her blindfold.

Chloe looked around. Though outside the windows there was the ash and the darkness of Hell the building they were in looked exactly like the precinct. Same decks, same stairs, even her coffee cup. "What is this?" she asked, moving towards her desk and sitting down.

"Well, I thought when we aren't cleaning up things down here it might be fun to get back to our normal thing. Solve cases, sit at your desk-"

"Fuck each other in the ass?" Chloe growled playfully before shaking her head. "Sorry, sorry, I don't know where that came from-"

Lucifer, forcing himself not to react to that, merely waved her off. "That's why I figured we could do this. Might help you feel more like your old boring self to settle into our routine. There are always demons getting into trouble and now we can solve those cases. Nice boring life."

"I am NOT boring!" Chloe complained. "Just because back then I wasn't into naked potato sack races or bowling for dildos or competitive masturbating… mmmmmm."

"…detective?" Lucifer said, waving his hand in front of her glassy eyes, a bit of drool leaking out of Chloe's mouth.

She snapped back to normal. "I was not boring."

"Of course, of course. Still, I got everyone down here to help." He walked to the forensics room and pulled out a demon wearing a paper mask designed to look like Ellie's face. "Miss Lopez is here to help! And so is Detective Douche!" He reached into a drawer… and pulled out an actual douche with goggley eyes stuck on it. Chloe forced herself not to snicker, pressing her hand to her mouth. It didn't help that Lucifer got it to stand up on its own buy shoving it in a yogurt container-

"Decker!"

Chloe whipped around at THAT familiar voice. "Pierce," she whispered, turning to find Pierce/Cain… walking up to her dressed in a school girl uniform.

"Snrk."

The First Murderer glowered at her and her laughter before the shock collar he was wearing zapped him, causing him to scream like the little girl he was dressed as before handing her a file. "Decker," he repeated again and she realized he was holding a script and actually reading from it. "We just got report of a body found on 69 Street. You and Lucifer need to go down there because I'm a weak little chicken shit and blood makes me go… poopie." Lucifer made a motion for him to keep reading. "Would you like to kick me in the balls for good luck?"

"…why not?" Chloe said, rearing back her foot.

~MC~MC~MC~

"But it's great to be back. I really want to see Trixie." Chloe got a far-off look in her eye. "I knew that she was alright, that we'd be back in a few Earth seconds but… it still hurt. I had to remind myself each day that she was fine, that I wouldn't miss a moment with her. Even with Charlie…" She smiled before steeling herself, becoming the tough take-no-nonsense cop she'd always been. "Anyway, we had to get Hell settled and then Charlie decided to expand on her project…"

"Project? What project?" Maze asked.

Chloe frowned at that though. "Before I explain… because you are going to laugh and think she's mad and it will hurt her feelings… I need you to understand what we're like now." Chloe gestured at Lucifer. "You know how he can get someone to admit their greatest desire?"

"Yeah…"

"I don't know if it's because we're married or because I was a human when I was converted or what but I… have a power too."

Amenadiel perked up at that, breaking away from his pleas with Lucifer to PLEASE not write him a How To Book for baby raising. "That can't be, Chloe. Those powers aren't demonic… they're angelic."

Chloe shrugged before looking at Eve, who squirmed as she realized she was suddenly the focus of everyone in the room. "Uh… yes?"

"Tell me, Eve," Chloe purred, walking towards her with a sway of her hips and a gleam in her now red eyes. "What is your greatest secret?"

"I… I…" Eve murmured, stammered, before finally saying, "I used to imagine Lucifer was Adam when we had sex!"

"…what?" Lucifer sputtered. "You thought of that muscular buffoon when you were with me?!"

"Only a few times!" Eve exclaimed. "I mean, you were so much fun Lucifer, and still are but Adam…" She bit her lip. "Woof."

Chloe looked over at her husband. "But you don't care because you are with me, right?"

"I bloody well do care because she is making it sound like I'm bad in bed!"

Charlie face faulted. "Daaaad."

"What?"

"Wrong thing to say! Duh!"

Chloe looked at Amenadiel and Maze and smirked. "That's my power. I can draw out someone's greatest secret. It's going to make solving cases SO much easier." She waved her hand at Charlie who was trying to explain to Lucifer why he shouldn't admit that he wanted every woman that had slept with him to still long for him. "Puppy, would you show off what you can do?"

"Oh yeah!" Charlie said, excited. "I so rarely get to do this… only works on humans and I don't get to interact with the souls that much." She turned to Eve who, after that last little mojo, backed away fearfully before stumbling as Charlie turned on her power. "Eve…"

"I just want everyone to stop putting me on a pedestal!" Eve proclaimed. "See that's I'm not perfect! Stop forgiving me for the apple! And everything else!"

Chloe smiled. "Good girl." Charlie beamed at her and the detective looked to the angel and Lilim. "That wasn't desire… that was Eve's greatest hope."

"There is a difference?" Maze asked.

"Of course there is," Lucifer said. "Desire is raw, passionate, craving. Hope is… higher. Loftier."

"Exactly," Chloe said with a sad sigh. "And that's the problem. Charlie is all about hope… and thus she is filled with it."

"And that's bad?" Amenadiel asked.

"When hope is foolish," Lucifer muttered.

"Hope is never foolish, brother," Amenadiel stated.

"It is in Hell," Lucifer replied only for Chloe to glower at him. "You and Charlie are different. You aren't of Hell. You aren't demons… despite how you might act. You're… I don't know what you two are but you aren't demons and thus can have hope and give it."

"And that's all Charlie wants to do," Chloe said gently but firmly.

"I'm sorry," Maze said, raising a hand, "but missing something here. What exactly does your kid want-"

"Oh! Let me tell!"

"GAAAAAAAA!" Maze screamed as Charlie popped up right in her face, actually jumping back in fright. "DON'T DO THAT!"

Charlie blew a raspberry. "Someone's jumpy. Anyone, this is so good! Now, do we have time for me to sing the song-"

"Not if you want to see Trixie," Chloe told her.

Charlie pouted at that before nodding, perking back up. "Right, have to see my big sis! Okay, go with just my gameplan." She pulled a folded and worn piece of paper from her pocket. "So the Purges keep killing demons and that is horrible but I kind of sort of get it? But not really. Not at all. But I also get that Hell gets overcrowded, especially with there being more humans in the world so something needs to be done. And we only just now tracked down most of the conversation blades but before then a ton of souls were being turned into sinner demons and that mucked things up. But I don't like it because I'm their princess and I'm supposed to help them. So I decided to help them!" She proudly held up her paper like a toddler showing off a picture made of Macoroni. "I decided to make a hotel to teach sinner demons how to be better, so that they might earn their way into Heaven!" She pointed to a picture of a bunch of former demons happily standing on a cloud.

Maze burst into laughter. Amenadiel just shook his head. Eve was confused.

Charlie slouched and actually made a sound like a balloon losing air.

"It's a wonderful idea," Chloe assured her daughter, rubbing her back. "Right." She flashed a dangerous look at them all.

"Uh… sure Decker," Maze said.

"Mmmhmmm," Amenadiel stated.

"No," Lucifer replied but he was ignored.

"Anyway…." Charlie stated, "so I set up the Happy Hotel and got my first client, Angel Dust. Began to work on him but then… er…"

"There were issues," Lucifer said in annoyance.

"Issues?" Maze asked.

Charlie wilted a bit. "I had it handled, dad."

"You formed a partnership with Alastor," Lucifer rumbled.

"Ala…" Maze began before her eyes went wide. "The fucking RADIO DEMON!?" He had been one of the last sinner demons to be created before Lucifer had decided to retire completely; it had been a nightmare dealing with him and they still didn't know who had decided to turn THAT soul into a demon.

Charlie gulped. "It… wasn't a partnership." She steeled herself and stared right at Maze. "I commanded him as the Princess of Hell to help me for as long as he wished but for no funny business."

Maze blinked before looking at Chloe. "She's your kid, Decker. Only your kid would be so brave and stupid."

"HEY!" Chloe and Charlie both snapped.

Lucifer stepped in to continue the tale. "The point is once I found out I decided to let Hazbin Hotel-"

"Happy Hotel!" Charlie called out.

"-get a renovation." Unsaid was "And cast Alastor out so that damn buck stayed FAR away from his baby girl". "And bring Charlie up here."

"For my new idea!" Charlie said with delight. "I'm going to open a Happy Hotel under Lux and help humans make up for their sins so they just go straight to Heaven!"

"…that might actually work," Amenadiel admitted.

"I like it," Eve admitted.

"Thank you!" Charlie beamed.

"I mean it, Charlie," Amenadiel said, walking over to the spunky demon princess and placing a hand on her shoulder. "I don't know about redeeming demons… not a lot of them are like your mother or you or Maze… but humans? I think that is a very noble goal. If you need anything from me I would be thrilled to help."

"Really?!" Charlie exclaimed, pressing her hands together and smiling up at Amenadiel. "That would be so great! I always have trouble finding staff… I try to do so much myself so you will be a huge help. Now, can you sing?"

"I… what?" the first angel said, now utterly confused.

"Singing. Very important! I love it. Dad and I always are putting on a show-stopping number."

"It's true," Chloe said with a chuckle. "Rope the imps into it and everything half the time."

"Don't bother, Amenadiel can't carry a tune," Lucifer told her.

That upset the dark-skinned angel. "I'll have you know I have a LOVELY singing voice."

"I've heard screams of the damned that were in better tune than you, brother."

Before the two could continue the argument Charlie popped up between them. "Nope! We aren't doing this! Nope nope nope nope nope! This is supposed to be about meeting family, not beating up family! That isn't how families are."

"Charlie," Lucifer began, still staring down his brother with a smirk, "how you and your mother and I act around each other isn't exactly how most families behave. And that is especially true for things in Heaven."

Amenadiel opened his mouth to protest only to finally nod in agreement.

"Well I don't care because you just said you, me, and mom are family and that means Amenadiel is also family so no fighting!" She wagged her finger right under her father's nose before spinning on her heels and walking away. "Now come on, I want to meet Trixie! I can't wait for us to become best friends! And I know that Vaggy can't wait to meet her either."

"Vaggy?" Amenadiel asked, confused.

"Sinner demon who died in 2014," Lucifer said.

"Charlie's girlfriend," Chloe supplied.

Charlie suddenly looked around. "Uh… anyone seen Vaggy?"

Lucifer and Chloe both looked behind them and saw a distinct lack of demonic girlfriend.

"…Luci," Amenadiel said slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose, judging baby Charlie with his other hand, "please don't tell me that you just lost a damned soul that was turned into a demon."

"Okay," Lucifer said with a grin. "I won't tell you that."

Charlie though merely waved off their concerns. "It will be fine! It's Vaggy… she can deal with anything."

"I'm actually concerned for the humans," Amenadiel told her.

"Oh… well I'm sure they will be fine."

~MC~MC~MC~

"I have to say, you are really pulling off that look. Sultry yet innocent. So good. And the eyepatch? Just makes it all work! If ya got it flaunt it, right? And you do that while also mananing to make it your own thing! Oh! Maybe I should get an eyepatch."

Vaggy watched as Ella Lopez bounced around her, babbling up a storm. "And I thought Charlie could talk…"

~MC~MC~MC~

Author's Notes: So this happened.

Call it a case of pure inspiration. I debated on placing this in Season 4 or 3, with the latter being that Charlie, Lucifer's kid from a previous marriage, arriving to meet her new step mom without realizing that Chloe and Lucifer are fighting but… come on, Chloe would so be Charlie's mom!

Dromos being one of the first Lilim explains a lot about him, in my opinion. He was one of the first to be taught by Lucifer (I personally hold that Maze was Lilith's first child that she gave to Lucifer, which is why she is so special to him); in Lucifer he was the only angel that fell, as he was the only one that rebelled. As such all he had was Lilith's children and the first ones he paid very close attention to, to the fact that while he'd never call it that he's basically their father. Thus Dromos here emulated his dear old day… he rebelled but only because he wanted Lucifer to do things different. Better.

The Conversion Blade was my way to merge Hazbin's Hell with Lucifer's. I don't want to get too much into it as it could serve as a conversation in another one shot but basically Lucifer did something he thought would be brilliant but didn't think it through.

The Blade (or blades, there are many of them that Lucifer forgot to destroy) work a bit like how Spike described being a vampire in Buffy. Or maybe better would be to say that its like the Super Soldier Formula in Captain America: The First Avenger. It brings out everything in you… the good and the bad. All the things that make up you but you temper or you control… there is nothing holding them back anymore. That's why Lucifer was so worried… Chloe is determined, strong, powerful. A fighter. But he also knows when she's drunk she can be silly. Sexual. Charming. He had NO idea what would happen, especially since she was alive and not dead. Thus why he had to get her straight to Hell.

And BOY do I love that Hell's time is faster than Earth's because it allowed Charlie to appear in a finger snap!

But first, Demon Chloe. Or is she a demon at all? Hmmm. Anyway, we see here just what I was talking about. She's more open. More sensual. She has no problem openly flirting with Lucifer and embracing her sexual side. But she's also protective… fuck with her kids and she will gut you without a second thought. But she can also forgive because Chloe can forgive people. And we see, such as with comments about her shoes, that the old Chloe is still there. This isn't a creature wearing her skin. This is Chloe just let off the leash.

How I view the transformation of humans in Hazbin is much like what was discussed in Lucifer: self-actualization. How one died combined with how one sees themselves causes the transformation. For example there is a fan theory that Alastor the Radio Demon was killed in the woods by a hunter who mistook him for a deer. And Alastor must have loved radio. So deer plus radio… Alastor's demon form.

With Chloe she didn't die so its only self-actualization. And she is an American… so her form is how an American woman would imagine a demon, the queen of hell. Slasher smile. Red eyes. Horns. A tail. Scales on the arms. The ability to twist her head around. Her hair isn't made up of snakes but close too it. That sort of thing.

As for Charlie I enjoyed showing her with her mom and dad as it makes her even more bubbly than we saw on the pilot. For me the real Charlie is the one we see talking to Vaggy right before the interview and during her songs. Charlie FEELS. Her power is hope… and when hope dies, like during the purge, it is the greatest weapon that can wound her.

Would you like to see more? This is a one shot but I wouldn't mind, if this gets a lot of feedback, writing about Charlie meeting Trixie, how Vaggy ended up at the precinct with Ella, the creation of the Hotel at Lux, Angel Dust coming topside to cause trouble, Linda and Dan meeting Charlie, so on. I have some ideas for the other angels as well and sprinkled some hints of a greater story in here.

Just let me know and in the words of one particular demon…

Stay. Tuned.