IMPORTANT STUFF TO NOTE
- MOST IMPORTANT THING: I AM NO LONGER GOING TO CROSS-POST MY FICS TO FANFICTION NET. I'M EXCLUSIVELY GOING TO POST ON AO3 FROM NOW ON. You can find my AO3 profile by searching my name LenaLawlipop. You will find all of my previous works there, and also my more recent ones, in other fandoms as well. You can also find my podfics, which I hope you enjoy! I hope to see you all there.
Now, relative to this fic:
- I'm not an idiot, I know they're in summer down there in Australia. I literally just needed a comfort fic set in a winter-y New Years, and I also couldn't decide what exact New Years traditions I wanted them to follow so... I made a mash-up. Don't overthink it too much xDDD
- This all started because of a prompt. It was supposed to be a drabble that I started months ago because I had writer's block. It's New Years, it's 3am of January 1st, and I'm too invested in this to go to bed without posting it. Yes, all four chapters at once. I have no patience left for this one :'D
- To anyone who knows I wrote, and is waiting for me to post, the Hanahaki AU - sorry, this was seasonally appropriate :'D Maybe, the gods willing, spring will force me to finally finish the deadly flower flu fic (?)
ALSO
Chapter stuff I want to talk about:
- Everyone in this fic is 18 now, don't me with any underage concerns, neither for drinking nor having sex (not that this fandom is prone to that? It'd be a bit ironic considering the main ship has a comically large age gap, but whatev)
- I headcanon that Shaun and Laura are disgustingly domestic and Ethan has no respite of seeing people in love in his life. If you think a normal person would be even more depressed after losing their soulmate and then having to stand their parents AND their entire friend group, being lovey-dovey with their partners... join me in the club of people who stan Ethan so hard it's difficult to put into words. I just think the boi is neat.
Ok PSA done, pls continue XDD Enjoy!
CHAPTER 1
"Careful, someone messed up the eggnog and it's a bit strong," Jimmy warms me as I get myself a glass of eggnog.
"A lot a bit," Matt adds. "Don't drink too much."
I mentally count to ten, but by the time I reach ten, I'm no less frustrated. I look up, and Ethan is eyeing me warily, perhaps thinking I'm going to throw my cup at my brother's face. I've considered it, not gonna lie.
"Why don't you go say that to Arkarian?" I throw at him instead. "You know, his body is also eighteen, and I have yet to see anyone tell him to be careful about the stupid eggnog."
Both him and Jimmy flush rapidly, and I feel slightly vindicated by Ethan and Arkarian's laughter. Ethan shakes his head as he gets himself a cup as well.
"If anything, I'd be more concerned about him. You've been eating all the appetizers," he pokes fun at me, and I snort.
"I'm fine. I'm the healer, so really, why is anybody worried? I can get myself sober faster than you can say the word 'sober'," I mumble. Mom, who walks by with a tray of something or other, laughs.
"Someone will never know what a hangover feels like," she muses, and I tilt my head in consideration.
"I mean. Probably," I shrug. "It's alright, some things I can live without."
Thankfully, they drop the topic, and I walk away from the eggnog table as soon as I can. Dillon and Neriah are playing a game in the living room, and I go sit with them for a while, vaguely aware that Arkarian follows me. Ethan stays behind, but I know he'll come along when he's found something to eat. Dillon smiles easily at us when he sees us.
"Heya, Bells," he offers me the controller. "Wanna play?"
"I'm good, it's okay."
"Neriah is actually good at this," he grumbles. "It's no fun to lose all the time."
"Won't hurt you to have someone keep your ego in check," I pat his shoulder, and he laughs goodnaturedly. Neriah grins at me.
"I wouldn't mind a real opponent, if you're in for a game later," she offers, and I laugh as well. I nod.
"Maybe later."
"Do you play?" Dillon asks, but he's not looking at either of us, and we all turn around to look at Arkarian, who has walked up behind us. He shakes his head.
"I've seen Ethan play before, but I can't say I have."
"Heresy," Ethan dictates as he enters the living room. "The ultimate betrayal. Bells, you would help us, wouldn't you? I've tried the gods know how many times to get him to play with me."
"We'll make a gamer out of him yet," Neriah snorts. I giggle.
"You say that like I am all that good at convincing people to play games. Last time I tried to get you to play something, you flat out refused because you said I'd beat you all the time," I remind him. He groans.
"True."
Arkarian makes a face anyway, like he knows we're going to gang up on him later. He's... probably not wrong. I wonder if I could really convince him, if I could make it into some strange sexy game like everyone keeps implying, but I stop thinking about it soon enough. My thoughts are shielded, but I haven't figured out yet if Matt and Neriah can still hear me, and I refuse to be any more flustered than I need to be.
"I can do something better than that though," I muse to myself, looking out of the window. The only one who seems to hear me is Arkarian, who raises an eyebrow warily. "It's New Year's Eve," I mumble, offering him a hand to pull him closer. He lets me, looking out the window like he's trying to figure out what I'm getting at. "And all it's doing is raining," I hint at.
"Ah," he laughs, quietly, and his shoulders shake with the effort of keeping quiet. "You'd be better off asking Matt or Neriah about that, though."
"But I'm not asking Matt or Neriah, am I?" I push a little. He smiles, tilting his head in a way I've come to interpret as 'I really shouldn't say yes but I'm going to'. I squeeze his fingers. "Please? Just for a little bit."
"Fine," he breathes.
He steals a kiss before looking out of the window. He still shakes his head with a huff, but soon enough, the rain slows down a little, and starts to turn into... snow. Neriah squeals.
"Oh!"
"Hm?" Matt looks as well, and snorts, but doesn't say anything. Arkarian shrugs.
"Cute," Ethan snickers.
"Well, I'll be damned," we hear Shaun say from the kitchen. We all laugh.
"It's snowing!" mom says, popping her head into the living room. Her smile fades as she considers us. "This is one you kids's fault, isn't it?"
"Maybe," Matt murmurs, smiling mysteriously. Mom narrows her eyes. Laura and Anneliese walk behind her, curious as well. "What? It's New Year's Eve!"
"Are you even allowed to mess with the weather like that?" she asks, and Matt huffs.
"Why don't you ask Arkarian that?" he offers, much like I had before. We all laugh again, and mom shakes her head, dropping the subject and going away. Laura follows her, though Anneliese glances at Arkarian knowingly before leaving as well. He grins at her. "Hey, it worked," Matt snorts, eyebrows raised in my direction. He pretends to tip a hat, and while it makes me laugh, Neriah pinches him.
"Did you do it?" she asks, and he shakes his head.
"No, it was me," Arkarian admits. "I can stop, if you'd like..."
"I can make it permanent for you, instead," Matt offers, and Arkarian nods. The change in the weather is imperceptible, but I can feel Arkarian's skin going back to a normal temperature as he stops using his powers. I rub his fingers gently, and he squeezes my hand. "There."
"Thanks."
"It's cute, apparently," Matt shrugs. Ethan flickers a finger at his hair.
"Shut up, it is."
Matt freezes for a moment, but he offers a smile, and Ethan grins. Arkarian looks between them, and I wonder what it must look like from the outside. Dillon and I are getting to see Matt and Ethan recover a friendship we'd been there to see years ago, but Neriah and Arkarian must be kind of confused about their current dynamic. It has taken them the better part of a year to stop arguing about the little things, and only recently have they started to truly hang out together as friends. Matt and Neriah's duties keep them away for long periods of time, but whenever they are here, Matt and Ethan have been spending time together, truly starting to become friends again. It surprised all of us, Matt included, but after what happened with Rochelle, Ethan really leaned into his friends, yes, Matt included. He hasn't told me what they talk about, but I can guess. They both have a past with her, and she has hurt them both. Both loved her, and she left both of them in the end. I return Ethan's smile when he catches my eye, but I go back to looking out of the window until I gather my thoughts. It's still so recent, and I'm still in awe of how quickly he has recovered, really... He has bad days, but in general, he's... better.
For a few minutes, there's silence, save for the sounds from the game. It only lasts until Neriah wins again, however, and Dillon throws the controller onto the coffee table, laughing easily, but clearly frustrated. Matt picks it up, and Arkarian leaves the window to perch himself on the arm of the sofa to watch. Matt doesn't even flinch, but Ethan and I cross a pleased glance. Those two have also become good friends in the past year, which goes to show how much Matt's new position has changed him. Ethan joins me this time.
"It's still so weird to see Arkarian here," he confesses, taking me by surprise. I smile, and nod, but he isn't finished. "I mean, Christ... my mom knows him. It feels odd, you know? I've..."
"He was your dirty little secret for years," I summarize for him, which makes him blush alarmingly quickly, and makes everyone in the room laugh, except for Dillon, who hasn't heard us and can't read his thoughts. I pat his shoulder. "Easy. I know what you mean. My mom knows about him, too," I remind him. He throws me a dirty glare.
"I hate you," he announces, bumping his shoulder with mine, softly. I chuckle, putting my cup on the windowsill to avoid spilling it on myself.
"You know I didn't mean it like that. And I wouldn't really mind if you..."
"No," he emphasizes, almost shuddering. "I love him, but not like that," he rolls his eyes. "I met him when I was four, Bells. He was like... I don't know."
"A parent figure?" I murmur, turning to the window to give him a bit more space. He shrugs.
"I guess...?" he sighs. "I don't know. Maybe. Maybe like an older brother."
"Fair enough."
"I'm glad he has you," he adds, even more quietly. I don't have to be a Truthseer to know that his thoughts must be shielded now. He doesn't often talk about feelings, and he probably doesn't want the rest snooping in this kind of conversation. No one seems to mind.
"I'm glad to have him as well," I offer, hoping he'll say something else. He smiles.
"He's been really quiet lately about you. I'm sure it has to do with... well, Rochelle," he says, even more quietly. "But everything is alright with you two, right? I'm not... missing something?"
"Ethan, of course not," I press my arm to his as we both lean into the window. He sighs, some tension bleeding out of his shoulders as he leans into me as well. "We're perfectly fine. Arkarian isn't a fan of PDA, and honestly, surrounded by my family, neither am I. Matt will tease the living hell out of us, and Jimmy is to Arkarian what you are to me, apparently, so he'll tease the hell out of Arkarian... not to mention my mother, who will start to wonder what kind of wedding dress I should wear to our hypothetical wedding. Thanks, but no thanks."
This, at the very least, makes him laugh. There's a hint of tears to his eyes, and I look away once more. He doesn't move to dry them.
"I'm looking forward to battling Jimmy to death to be his best man," he says. Arkarian snorts, but I can't tell if he's heard him or if he's talking to someone else, not without turning around. Ethan squints at their reflections in the window, but doesn't comment.
"I don't have the luxury of options," I muse. "Not that it's very relevant right now."
"Worry about the present and all that," he agrees. I exhale, amused.
"And all that," I repeat.
I clink my cup against his before taking another sip. It's no longer warm, and it's still stronger than I normally like it, but it's good. Ethan leans a little more into me, sort of resting his head on mine, and I let him. I wonder what he's thinking about, but he doesn't say anything, so I nudge him a little.
"Hm?"
"Are you okay?" I ask him. He looks at me through the window, but it's not quite dark enough outside that I can decipher his expression.
"Yeah. Just... thinking."
"Care to share?"
"Arkarian. You."
"Should I be worried?" I try to joke, and it works, because he chuckles.
"Not unless I should!" he pulls away to drink from his cup again. "Nah, just... Nevermind."
"I won't judge," I remind him. He hesitates.
"I don't want to make the day sad," he murmurs. I turn around to look at him directly then, and he bites his lips.
"Sorry," I whisper. "I won't pry."
"It's a happy sort of day," he says. "You should go be with him, you don't have to keep apart for my sake, that's all."
"Didn't I just tell you it's not about you?" I ask, but I know what he means. I tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "It's okay, Ethan. We want to respect your feelings too, and we're fine. Really. We're not holding ourselves back as much as you seem to think. Besides, even in a small house, there are plenty of empty spaces we could find if we wanted some privacy. This is my house, after all," I remind him. He grins, nods, but nudges me away after a moment anyway.
"Go before Neriah makes your brother cry," he murmurs.
He's not entirely wrong, and I laugh, but I know he just needs a moment. I pick up my cup as I walk back to the rest. There's no space on the sofa anymore, as Dillon has taken the other arm, so I force my way in between Neriah and Matt, which makes everyone laugh. I eventually end up sitting half into Matt's lap, but he doesn't seem to mind. He glances at me out of the corner of his eye, smiling.
"This reminds me of sharing a seat on the bus as kids," he comments.
"Except I had a growth spurt before you did, so you usually sat on top of me," I reminisce. He laughs, and immediately dies on screen.
"Oh, how the tables have turned," he muses. I take the controller away from him.
"Yeah. Remember when you used to pass the difficult levels for me? How the tables have turned indeed."
He laughs again, but takes the chance to stand up, depositing me on the now empty seat, and gesturing to Arkarian in case he wants to take his place. I look at him, shrug.
"Come on then," I offer. They exchange places, and this time I sit more comfortably, fully on Arkarian's lap. Neriah starts the game again. "I'll hurt anyone who distracts me," I announce, already focusing on the game.
Arkarian laughs, and the soft vibration of his chest against my back is distraction enough. I sigh. Should have guessed. Neriah grins, possibly because she's reading my thoughts and knows she has an advantage, or perhaps because Matt is, too, and he's rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.
"You're so annoying," I tell my brother, sticking my tongue at him briefly, but after that, the game is on, as they say, and I focus on not letting Neriah win this time.
It's a close match, but I manage to win, barely so. She laughs, delighted.
"Well, finally someone who can play," she grins. "Rematch?"
"Sure."
This time, Ethan joins us mid-game, and I take advantage of Neriah's brief distraction to win. She determines it unfair, so I let her play against me for a final third time. She grumbles as she loses again.
"Okay, so much for being good at this game," she whines. I laugh.
"I've had a lot of practice. Ethan is very good too."
"Oh? You two should play, then!"
"Sure."
Ethan seems to be in a much better mood as we play, and we match each other, two-to-two. I grin as I win the last match, but I stand up to stretch and pick up my mug once more. I hand Arkarian the controller, and he takes it, eyebrows raised. Anneliese, who has joined us while I played against Ethan, laughs at his predicament.
"You really thought you'd manage to stay out of the games?" I laugh, breathless after a good stretch. "Nice try. Even my mom can't argue her way out of this, you'll see."
"Speaking of, where's Jimmy?" Matt frowns. "He's usually here by now."
"Don't snoop on mom and Jimmy," I remind him, grabbing his sleeve as he starts for the door. He rolls his eyes.
"Fine, old fashioned yelling it is," he takes a breath, and yells. "Mom! Jimmy!"
"Yikes," I sigh.
"Moment!" mom calls back.
Matt shrugs.
"We'll get her later, then."
"It's fine, she knows she has to," I pat his arm. "Laura has been warned, too. I'm gonna go get more food."
"Bring back something," he asks, and I nod. "We'll make sure Ethan doesn't bully Arkarian too much," he adds. I can't help but snort.
"Ethan? He wouldn't, he's been wanting to play videogames with Arkarian for over a decade," I mumble. They all hear me, and while Ethan blushes a bit, he can't deny it, and he grins.
"How is this not bullying me, again?" Arkarian asks, but he's clearly amused. I tilt my head.
"We'll bully you with our collective affection for you, oh no, poor Arkarian," I mock.
I leave the room before he can answer, and I can hear him groan, and say something that sounds like 'Fiiiiiine' as he clicks the controller's buttons. I don't have to look to know what Ethan's face looks like, and I sigh in relief. I don't like seeing him so down, and I definitely don't want him to start avoiding Arkarian and I.
Laura is in the kitchen, humming to herself as she arranges cookies on trays. Shaun is helping her, and I stop briefly before I interrupt them. I announce myself soon enough, though. It feels like eavesdropping, even if they're not even talking to each other. I wonder if... I wonder if that's what Arkarian and I look like when we're alone together. Shaun looks up as I knock on the doorframe, and smiles. Laura smiles too, brighter than I've ever seen her before, as she finishes placing a new tray on the oven.
"Hey," I murmur, unwilling to break the gentle atmosphere they have going on. "Can I help with that?"
"You can help by taking these to the living room, where a bunch of teen boys will demolish them," Laura huffs, amused. "Honestly, you'd think we don't feed them!"
"They will tell you they're growing, but that's just a convenient excuse," I agree. She giggles.
"I, for one, am happy to see Ethan eating normally again," Shaun murmurs, handing me a tin of cookies that have already cooled down. Laura smiles at him lovingly, so much that I almost understand what Ethan means about Arkarian and I.
"Ethan is very strong," she whispers. "And it took me a long time, but... We're both getting better, love. We're going to be okay."
Shaun doesn't answer, but he pulls on her waist to pull her closer, press a kiss to her temple, and I avert my eyes. They laugh at me.
"Go feed those kids," Shaun tells me gently. "And tell Arkarian he's not allowed not to have some."
"He's not growing though!" I laugh, and Laura giggles again. Shaun rolls his eyes.
"Don't let him use that excuse, then."
"He wouldn't want to hurt Laura's feelings, I'm sure," I tell them, conspiratorially. It makes them laugh.
"Good to know you know him that well," he says, and I grin as I leave them alone.
Ethan is very gently destroying Arkarian in game, and he pauses it as I come back.
"Your parents are disgustingly domestic," I announce, and he bursts out laughing. He nods.
"The worst. I can't even complain, what with my mom finally getting better and all. Are those cookies?"
"Ah, yes. They told me to 'go feed those boys', and that 'Arkarian isn't allowed not to have some cookies'. No excuses about 'not growing anymore', or something."
"I'm not though," he laughs, but he picks up a cookie without complaint.
"Neither am I, but cookies are cookies are cookies," I shrug, placing the tin on the coffee table and pulling back before everyone's hands are fighting for a cookie. "Besides, Laura looks so happy I'd feel bad if we didn't actually eat them."
He looks at me as I rearrange myself on his lap again, deadpan, but eventually he sighs. He picks up another cookie.
"I need to learn to say no," he mumbles against my hair, so quietly I'm surprised the others hear him. They laugh, but he ignores them in favor of pressing a kiss to my cheek. I grin wider.
"You've been doing just fine saying no to games until now."
"Not anymore, apparently," he rolls his eyes, but takes the controller again, and nods to Ethan, who un-pauses the game.
Arkarian loses, predictably, but he's a good sport about it. They play another round, and he's quick to understand the mechanics. I'm not surprised, but I am impressed. Ethan looks like he's having fun, and for a little while, the game moves the conversation along. Everyone seems to want to backseat for Arkarian, who tries his best to do as they tell him. If nothing else, he's good at ignoring their overlapping commentary when it becomes too much. I could probably add to it, but I'm happy to lean into his arms, eat cookies and watch him play. I don't think I have ever seen Arkarian surrounded by so many people, and I know I'm not alone in thinking that. Everyone is talking about the game, but they keep glancing at him, almost as if he was about to disappear into thin air.
Mom and Jimmy come into the room a little later, and Jimmy gasps, possibly shocked. Arkarian looks up at him pleadingly, but all Jimmy does is shoo Ethan away and steal the controller from him, reassuring Arkarian that he himself sucks at the game anyway. We all agree, he does. Case in point, Arkarian manages to win. He looks quietly pleased, and Jimmy doesn't even bother hiding his amusement. He does win the next round, but it's a close match. I offer to play against Arkarian a couple of times, but they all boo the idea almost before I finish speaking. I roll my eyes.
"If the fact that I can eat half this tin of cookies on my own hasn't scared Arkarian off, I highly doubt that videogame mastery is going to do it," I mumble, to which my mom agrees, taking the cookies away from me. "Moooooom..."
"Leave some for the rest," she admonishes. I snort.
"I have only had two, I was joking, please give me another cookie," I plead, and she laughs.
"Leave space for dinner, Isabel."
"Meh."
Arkarian laughs. He steals Jimmy's controller and hands it to me.
"Go ahead. I don't really mind, you don't have to go easy on me."
"Don't regret that later," I warn him, and he shrugs.
He holds his ground decently enough that I tell him so, but I win easily, twice. I show him a couple of tricks on a third try, and I let him test them until he wins. He hums, contemplative, but I have no idea what he's truly thinking about.
"Alright, do I have to play with anyone else or can I stop now?" he asks after a moment, looking around the room. Anneliese is quick to shake her head, to which he bows in thanks, making her laugh.
"Shaun?" Jimmy calls loudly. "Do you want to play against Arkarian?"
"Nah, he'll destroy me like everyone else does!" comes the amused reply.
"He's only learned to play today though!"
"Your point?!"
Ethan laughs.
"My dad is notoriously bad at videogames," he says. "Don't worry about him. If Arkarian can play against Isabel, he can destroy my dad no problem."
"Awesome," Arkarian says, in a way that suggests he couldn't care less. He tosses his controller to Jimmy. "Here you go."
Jimmy laughs, but doesn't argue. I look at Arkarian as he pushes on my waist gently to get me to stand up. He stretches as he stands up as well.
"I'm gonna go see if I can help around," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my cheek as he passes by my side toward the door. I nod, mentally translating that into 'I need to be alone for a minute'.
I don't mind. I haven't known him for as long as Ethan or Jimmy have, but I know him well enough by now to know when he's reached his quota of talking for a while. I hope we haven't been too much, but... He walks away, and I can hear him talking to Shaun and Laura in the kitchen, so I assume it's just the sheer volume of attention he's been getting here. I tune back to the group, however, to find they're all looking at me. Matt frowns, and I'm quick to reassure them.
"He's fine. It's fine. Come on, mom hasn't played yet," I hand her my controller, and pick up my mug instead. It's cold by now, but it's alright. I sip at it.
"Go," she muses, nodding at the door. I look toward it, confused, until I realize she means Arkarian. I shake my head.
"Give him a little space. He's not used to being the center of attention, that's all," I mumble back, despite the fact that he isn't here, and that everyone hears me anyway. Understanding colors their expressions. They don't insist again.
#
It's not until mom and Jimmy excuse themselves to go start dinner a while later that I realize how long it's been. I frown as they leave.
"Is Arkarian still in the kitchen?" I ask. Jimmy pauses by the doorframe, frowns, and shakes his head.
"Not that I can see."
"I'll go find him."
"No rush," says Neriah gently, and winks when I turn to look at her. I smile at Matt's theatrical eye roll, but he waves a hand in dismissal, so I take off knowing they won't expect us back anytime soon.
While there are a bunch of empty rooms, there aren't exactly a lot of places to hide. I check downstairs first, including the guest room, but he isn't here. I check the guest's bathroom, but he isn't there either. He isn't a stranger to the house, he's stayed over a few times, so I'm not exactly surprised to find him in the bathroom Matt and I share, upstairs. He's... reading. I quickly recognize the sci-fi book that Matt had left in the bathroom a while ago. I knock on the doorframe, since the door is ajar. He looks up, mildly confused, and then his expression quickly shifts to sheepish.
"Sorry, lost track of time," he starts. I shake my head.
"It's alright. Is everything okay?"
He nods, in silence. He glances at the pages once more before leaving the book back where it was, above some towels in the embedded shelves next to the bathtub.
"Interesting book," he mumbles.
"It's Matt's," I shrug.
"Right."
"Arkarian?" I ask again when he doesn't quite meet my eye. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," he sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Just... a bit much. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stay away that long... has it been long?"
"Not too much, it's alright. Mom and Jimmy are going to start dinner, Laura and Shaun are probably still baking. She brought over a lot of cookie dough."
"I see."
"Come on. We're not really expected downstairs anyway," I tell him, nodding toward my room. He follows me, smiles as I throw myself on my bed, stretching after having been squished on a corner of the sofa for the better part of an hour. He closes the door before sitting next to me. "You're not mad about the game thing, right?"
"No, of course not," he laughs. "Would have been happy not to be the center of attention, but it's alright, just a bit tiring after a while."
"Alright."
"Ethan had a ton of fun, too, didn't he?" he smiles gently. "He's not really all that subtle."
"He looks up to you more than anyone else," I grin. "It's kind of adorable."
"Hmm," he agrees. "I remember when I first met him, it kind of scared me. It's a big responsibility, you know? I had... interacted with kids before, I guess, but it had been a few centuries since I'd really had to deal with kids, and even then, they weren't my apprentices... they were just... well, slaves," he shrugs. "Teaching Ethan was... an experience."
"I can't even imagine."
"I wouldn't say it's akin to having a child, gods know there's a world of difference... But I care for Ethan in a very special way," he smiles. "It's been nice to see him so carefree today."
"It is, isn't it? I'm glad he's having fun."
"What did he tell you before, when you were by the window?" he asks me suddenly, and he sounds concerned.
"Not much. He was... worried, I guess. That we were keeping apart from each other for his sake," I turn to look at him, and he seems to know what I mean, because he sighs. He runs a hand through his hair again, combing it to one side.
"It really isn't about him, but I guess I understand why he'd think that," he agrees. I nod.
"I told him as much. I think he gets it, but, you know... It can't be easy, being surrounded by all of us... I mean, there's Dillon, but, you know," I shrug. "Can't be easy."
"Right."
"Don't fret," I plead. "That's exactly what Ethan is worried about."
"Fair enough," he admits with another sigh. "I guess I'm used to worrying about him in some capacity. First his father, then his mom wouldn't get better, then his best friend decided to hate him because a girl chose him over Ethan... and then, well, she died."
"He hasn't had it easy," I grimace. "But he's really strong. I honestly don't know if I would be holding up as well as he is, if..."
"Me neither."
At a loss for words, I pull him down with me to cuddle. He lets me, intertwining his legs with mine as he pulls me closer, and I breathe against his chest. His heart beats steady under my palm, I don't need my powers to tell. His presence is comforting, and I've grown so used to his scent that it immediately soothes me. I'm still worried about Ethan, but he isn't here now, and I manage to relax. Soon enough, his fingers tangle into my hair, pulling off the elastic and he hums quietly, at ease.
"I've missed this," he admits, softly. "We don't have a lot of practice being together in front of people, do we? I've been wanting to do this since you sat down on my lap, at least."
"Hmm, we are kind of spoiled when it comes to having alone time, funnily enough, considering we barely got any time to ourselves when we started dating."
He laughs, but he doesn't seem to have an argument against that. We stay quiet, his fingers untangling my hair; mine, exploring his sweater. I can feel the buttons of his shirt under it, and I trace them idly, playing with the round shape of them, until he shivers as I press gently on the lowest one, near his belt. I bite my lips. Perhaps not the best time, I think to myself, but there's a thought for later. He huffs, perhaps amused, perhaps disappointed. It's hard to say without being able to see his face. At this thought, he pulls gently away to tilt my face up and press his lips to mine. I meet him eagerly, and can't help a breathless moan when he kisses me more intensely than I'm expecting him to. We separate quickly enough, though.
"There's a thought for later," I repeat, this time out loud. He smiles, but he doesn't laugh, fingers pressing tightly against my waist. The hand still tangled on my hair trembles, but doesn't pull.
I've grown to notice these little moments, where his carefully composed self-control wavers, and I often delight in breaking it completely, but right now is not the right time, and I'm oddly thankful for it, because I know I might not be able to stop myself if we went any further. He goes back to caressing my hair soon after.
"I'm a bit all over the place today," he muses, contemplative.
"In a good way or a bad way?" I prompt, pushing myself up to look at him. He has his eyes closed, but the corners of his lips turn slightly up.
"Good, I think. Better, now that we're here," he adds.
"We'll have to go downstairs again for dinner, though."
"That's alright. I really didn't mean to disappear for a long time, I just wanted a minute and got sidetracked. It's a bit overwhelming to spend time with... everyone. Especially in a relaxed way. I don't know if that makes sense."
"How is being relaxed a defining factor?" I tease, and he shrugs as best as he can while laying down, smiling.
"I don't exactly know what people do in this kind of reunion. It feels like there are some established rules that I'm just unaware of. Cookies, and too strong eggnog, and games..."
"The eggnog was a mistake," I roll my eyes. "Whoever made it didn't get it right. The games are a bit of a staple on Christmas and New Year's Eve, I'll give you that."
"Right."
"Is it too much?" I ask him, and he does open his eyes at that. He shakes his head.
"Not all the time. I'm happy to be here, Bells."
"Okay."
"I don't mind learning how to play games and eating cookies, either," he rolls his eyes.
"There are worse things to do," I agree.
"And I'm glad that everyone seems happy to see me around, too," he continues. "I'm just a little overwhelmed, that's all. I've spent the past who knows how many New Year's Eves with the Tribunal members. I don't think I've been in a room with as many people not shielding their thoughts in... a while. And they were talking, at the same time. I'm good at keeping outside thoughts in check, but it does become a bit much after a while, especially when everyone is talking to me."
"Oh," I bite my lips. "I hadn't thought... sorry."
"Don't be. If anything, your thoughts are a familiar anchor whenever the rest are too much. Focusing on you really helped. Well, it helped, until it became really distracting, but that's a different issue altogether," he mumbles, slightly embarrassed. I hum, pleased, and lean in to kiss him again. He kisses back. "You're a menace," he complains, half-heartedly. I grin, and I'm about to respond, when I hear Matt yell from downstairs.
"Isabel!"
It startles Arkarian, but I had been kind of waiting for the inevitable. I cover his ears softly before yelling back.
"Moment!"
Arkarian laughs.
"You two really just yell for each other around the house?"
"I'm much more efficient, I generally yell at him in my thoughts until he deigns to come by. He doesn't often do the same to me, thankfully. Visions are still a pain to deal with..."
He laughs again. He pulls me closer briefly, hiding his face on my neck, pressing a soft kiss there that sends a shiver down my spine. He doesn't acknowledge it though, instead taking a deep breath and moving so we can both get up. He hands me back my hair tie, but I merely make sure my hair isn't a disaster. I don't care if people think we've been making out, in fact, it feels oddly nice to know they think of us like that, like an item... I catch his reflection on my dresser's mirror, though, and I look at him before heading downstairs.
"Is it okay?" I mumble, meaning my hair. He shrugs.
"I like it," he admits. I wait for him to be more specific, and he hesitates. "I mean, your hair looks fine both ways, but I mean..."
"Yeah?"
"You know," he almost fidgets, and I lose any sort of interest in going downstairs. He huffs as he realizes we're not moving until he tells me. "What you were thinking just now."
"That people will think we've been making out in my room? I mean, are they wrong?"
He shrugs again, vaguely amused.
"I mean. Sort of? I wish they weren't, but we haven't had enough time. And yet, as things are, we've sort of proven we can't really keep our hands off each other, so..." I laugh with him.
"I don't mind that they think that. Do you?"
"Like I said, I quite like it," he repeats, cheeks reddening even more.
"Are you going to tell me why or are you going to keep me guessing all night?" I push a bit more. He chuckles, eyes flitting around the room.
"I guess I like that people think of us that way. That they would think you'd want to be with me enough to..." he trails off.
"Make out with you in my room," I complete. He makes a face, but I can tell he's just embarrassed. He doesn't get embarrassed very often, so I'm slightly amazed by this turn of events. "How could they not? They all know we're together."
"Yes," he agrees. "But there's a difference between knowing we're together, and us going downstairs together, after being up here alone, with you looking the way you do, Bells."
I look at myself in my dresser. Sure, my hair is a bit of a mess. I comb it with my fingers. I... I guess my shirt is a little rumpled? Not that much, really. It has a crease, but I know mom is going to make me change it before dinner anyway... My lips are quite red, I admit to myself, looking closer. I bite on my lower lip experimentally, but it's just a little sensitive, it doesn't hurt.
"I don't think they'll really look that closely. And even if they did, again, they already think we've been making out. Which we kind of have, so it's not like they're totally off the mark. And why does it matter all of a sudden?"
"Because I want them to think that, that's why," he answers, not impatiently, but perhaps a little frustrated that I still don't understand. Which I don't.
"Well... good, then?"
"I... yes. I mean, unless it bothers you."
"Why on Earth would it bother me?" I ask him, and I can't help but laugh. He finally smiles a little, tentatively.
"I thought it might. You're... very independent," he settles for, and I frown, unsure where he's taking this. "I wasn't sure you'd care much for possessiveness."
"Ohhh," I hold my breath as I finally start to see what he means. "You mean— ohh. I— no, that's..." I laugh some more, and pull him closer, until I can kiss him again. His hands find my waist and I lose my balance a little, but he steadies me. "You've barely bit on my lips, no wonders I wasn't getting the idea. You can leave marks on me, Arkarian, I won't mind. First of all, it's you. Second of all, that's hot. Third of all, I won't even pretend I don't sometimes think of you as mine, too."
He kisses me again, drowning a quiet groan against my lips, and this time it takes us a little longer than before to pull apart. His eyes are dark as he looks at me, and I can't help but bite his lips some more, until he closes his eyes again, his forehead touching mine as he leans into me. We stumble a little, and I feel my back hit the dresser. We both shiver.
"They're waiting for us," he reminds me.
"Well, we better not keep them waiting then."
Neither of us moves, which is funny on its own right. I chuckle, pressing a last kiss to his jaw, letting my teeth graze his skin just barely, and feeling almost lightheaded as his fingers press tightly against my waist, keeping me close. I wonder if the eggnog has anything to do, or if I'm just truly that powerless to the way he makes me feel. He pinches me for this thought.
"You're not going to make this easy, are you," he wonders. I take a deep breath, chuckling, and shield my thoughts. "You're going to need to try a little harder," he mumbles, but he steps away, and I shield my thoughts a bit better as I look in the mirror, rearranging my shirt again. I look presentable, mostly. Yes, my lips are bitten red, and I'm still blushing, but I'm alright. He rolls his eyes and opens the door. "Let's go before we get even more distracted."
"Your fault," I'm quick to remind him as we reach the stairs. He snorts.
"Whatever makes you feel better, Bells."
"You know what would make me feel better?" I start to say, but he shakes his head, pushing me. I jump the last few steps, laughing, and we both follow the sound of voices to the kitchen.
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~Lena