(A/N: This is part 2 of my Blank Canvas AU. If you have not read the first part, you should do that before starting this. ;) It can be found here - https (colon) (double forward slash) w w w (period) fanfiction (period) net (forward slash) s/13620393/1/Blank-Canvas
So that but with the actual characters no spaces between the w's because this site won't allow a direct link. If that doesn't work, you can find it under the same username and the title Blank Canvas. This fic has a tumblr and a discord. A link to the tumblr will be at the end of the chapter and the link to the discord can be found on the tumblr. Please join if you like! :D
Again, if you haven't read the first part of this series, please go do that before starting this part. Also, I want to give a warning in case you don't use the tumblr that this part of the series will have MANGA SPOILERS. I reference heavily on canon with the manga, anime, Vigilante spinoff, etc. and so I want to warn of manga spoilers for those who are anime only. Read at your own choice!
Another warning is that this is a slowburn Tododeku mxm fic so if that isn't your preference then this story might not be for you. Which is ok because everyone has different tastes. So whether you decide to read or not is up to you and I hope you have a good day! ^_^ )
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The world was on fire. Flames fell repeatedly from the sky. The ice stood no chance against the heat. Every spire and spear of cold cracked and melted away against the fire's power. Again and again, the ice was pelted with flaming blows. Chipping away at the cold hard surface to force the ice's own inner fire out into the world.
But the ice did not want the inner flames to escape. Fire was dangerous. Runs too hot. Only causes pain and anguish. The cold tried to fight back against the heat. Attempted to harden its frozen walls to keep the fire out and away from its own inner flames. To prevent the cursed internal heat from tainting the world.
The ice refused to allow its inner flames to become the same as the attacking fire. The same fire that had battered and burned many others of fire and ice alike before. Bringing nothing but agony and suffering upon anything that crossed the fire's path. Anything that attempted to stand up against the flame's overwhelming power.
The barrage of fiery attacks continued and no matter how much the ice fought back, there was nothing the cold could do to stop the heat. The frozen wall was cracked and breaking apart yet still the ice refusing to surrender to the fire's whims. However, with each heated blow, the cold was finding it harder and harder to resist. To fight back. To not become what the fire wanted the ice to be. The cold feared that once the heat broke through, the attacking fire would consume the ice's own inner flames and there would be nothing left.
No ice. No fire. Nothing. All either destroyed or consumed into the whole. No remaining trace of what the cold with the inner heat once was. Destined to become what the ice always feared to be. Oppressive overpowering fire.
With one final fiery blow, the frozen wall shattered releasing the inner heat and the ice was no more.
Grey and blue eyes shot open in the dim morning light. The boy of two-toned hair, right white as snow and left red as blood, laid on his futon panting from the nightmare. Only it wasn't just a nightmare, but his life in dream form. Shouto gripped his sheets trying to ground himself in reality.
Everything hurt.
His body had been tired already from the previous day's fights and all he had wanted to do was to go to his room to rest. But the youngest son of Endeavor knew the man wouldn't allow him such a luxury. Wouldn't allow him any respite from his training. Especially after he had lost and placed in 'lowly' third. But not only that. No. He had lost to the lowest of the low in his father's eyes. The weakest of society in his opinion.
Shouto, the 'masterpiece' created by the Number Two Hero, had lost to one who was Quirkless.
'How could you allow yourself to fail against that worthless scum?'
But Izuku isn't worthless nor is he scum. He is my friend.
'You are my masterpiece, Shouto. Created to surpass me with my own fire.'
But it's not your fire. Izuku said it's mine.
'My blood flows through your veins. As my progeny, you are destined to eclipse my legacy.'
Your blood does not define me. Mother said as much all those years ago.
'You need to give up this childish rebellion. You are meant to replace me. Surpass me! To fulfill my ambitions and follow me down the path to supremacy!'
I don't have to nor do I ever want to be anything like you, you bastard of an old man.
Shouto would become a Hero. The kind he wanted to be. For his mother. For his friend. For himself. He would use his ice, his fire, to be the Hero he had always wanted to become. Not just some puppet for that bastard to use, but as himself and with his own power.
I have to get stronger. Have to take hold of this fire and make it my own. To take back my life that the old man has been trying to take away from me for years. But it is mine. My life. My Quirk. Mine and mine alone.
It would be difficult to wrap his head around using his left side in combat. Not surprising after years of repressing his fire. Refusing to use it to spite his old man. But now, after Izuku reminded him of what he wanted to be, Shouto knew he had to use his left side, his fire, in order to be the best Hero he could be. Had to take hold of this power he was given with both hands, right and left, to save others and keep them safe. A challenge for sure but one he was more than willing to face head on. But first he had to get up. Easier said than done for as soon as he tried, Shouto let out a grunt of pain.
Oh, right. Everything hurts.
"Shouto?" came from a voice beside him.
Huh?
The head of evenly split white and red turned to see his sister lying on the edge of the futon beside him. Fuyumi sat up as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, still wearing her clothes from the previous day. Beside her was an open box that held bandages and other first aid supplies. Hinting at why she was there.
Ah, she must have helped move me and patched me up after…training.
After waking up a little more, the sister asked, "Are you feeling alright, Shouto?"
The youngest Todoroki laid there as he assessed his hurts. He could feel where various burn marks rested on his body. His ankle was sore from when he had twisted it in a failed dodge. Though he was no longer cold from using his ice repeatedly in an attempt to keep his father at bay. The training had been more intense than usual and despite having used his fire for a moment when he had fought Izuku, his instincts took over and he found himself unable to use his fire against his father. No matter how much the bastard demanded it.
'You finally accepted your purpose even if just for a moment when you used the fire I gave you. But you allowed yourself to lose to that weakling. You will never surpass All Might if you continue like this.'
You're wrong. Izuku isn't weak. He's the strongest person I know. Never allowing anyone to hold him back or say he can't just because he doesn't have a Quirk. He's more of a Hero than you'll ever be, you bastard.
"I'm fine," Shouto answered, earning a skeptical look from his sister.
But he was fine all things considered. Sure, the training had been harsher than usual, but nothing he hadn't experienced before. He was used to it. And complaining about his aches and pains wouldn't help anything. It never had before.
"Are you sure?" Fuyumi pressed, hand extended hesitantly as if she wished to provide some form of physical comfort but wasn't sure if it was wanted. "Last night, the…'session' seemed a little more…intense than usual. You had more injuries than normal."
"I said I'm fine," Shouto said more sternly than he meant too. Fuyumi looked guiltily down at her lap as she retracted her hand, making him feel guilty as well. He took a calming breath before saying, "Sorry. I just…I don't want to talk about it."
"Alright," his sister responded quiet as a whisper. There was a moment of silence between them before she asked, "Are you really going to see mother today?"
Shouto laid there staring at the ceiling. Contemplating if he still wanted to go through with the long overdue visit. To finally face his mother again after so long. After that night. But as he thought about it, about everything Izuku managed to dig up with his words, the fact that it had been so long resolved his decision to go to the hospital and finally meet his mother face to face.
"Yes," he said with a determined though still neutral expression on his face. "I know it's been a long time since…then. But Izuku helped me realize something about myself yesterday. I decided it's been long enough. I need to see her."
He turned to look up at his sister who sat beside him. Trying to convey his conviction on the matter. Her grey eyes searched his own of grey and blue for any hesitation or misgivings. Which there were some considering he didn't know if his mother would even want to see him. Not after what happened that caused her to be sent away. But he didn't let anything show in his eyes having years of experience of hiding his emotions under a mask of neutrality. It had been easier to hide all that while growing up than let Endeavor use any of it against him in training.
Seeing nothing, Fuyumi let out a conceding sigh and said, "Alright. I don't know if it's a good idea and I'm not sure how father will react, but I'll help you get ready to see her. He's not here by the way. He left early to go on a business trip for a few days."
"Ok," Shouto replied simply though internally he was grateful the old man was gone.
It meant that he was granted a reprieve from training for those few days. Able to visit his mother in peace. And could see his friends without having to worry about the bastard. Which reminded him.
"I want to go to the sleepover," he declared suddenly, gaining a surprised look from his sister. "He's not here so he can't say 'no'. Even then I would have gone anyway."
"I don't know if that's a good idea either," Fuyumi commented, brows furrowed in worry. "Seeing mother may be pushing it, but going to a friend's house while he's away?"
"He's not our jailer, Fuyumi," Shouto insisted with a firm tone. "You're an adult and I'm my own person. He doesn't get to dictate everything we do. Not anymore."
The sister looked at him with a concerned look but eventually relented with a nod. Wordlessly, she began to check the bandages she had applied last night and started replacing ones when needed. Shouto closed his eyes not wanting to see the damage. None of his injuries were anywhere that would be visible. Always in places that could easily be hidden like his upper arms and legs as well as his torso. Never on extremities like his hands, feet, or head.
The scar I got from that day is the only noticeable mark that bastard allows to blemish his precious masterpiece.
This wasn't the first time Fuyumi had helped patch him up after a session. Though the injuries he had gotten from this latest one were more severe than usual. But ever since mother left and his eldest brother was lost, his sister had taken up the mantle. Before her, it was Touya who had helped him after training. He remembered the feeling of rough hands applying burn cream and bandages with a gentle touch. Hands that had progressively grown coarser, calloused, and wrinkled as time passed until they were gone all together.
Shouto didn't know what happened to his brother. One day he had been there and the next he wasn't. Father never spoke of it nor had the youngest Todoroki ever felt brave enough to push for details. The old man only ever said he was gone and wasn't coming back. Eventually claiming that Touya had died and left it at that. Even set up a household shrine with a picture of the eldest Todoroki son. One of him when he was younger as it was the best photograph of him they could find. Forlorn blue eyes looked out under a head of white. Showing no happiness as such a feeling was seen as a mere distraction in the Todoroki household.
I hope you are well where ever you are, Touya. I hope it's some place nice.
"That should do it," Fuyumi said after checking the last bandage. "Do you need any help getting dressed?"
"No, I should be fine," Shouto replied as he attempted to get up again. He let out a pained grunt as his sister helped him to sit up. "I've managed with worse than this. But, uh, thanks, sis."
Fuyumi took pause at his unexpected gratitude then smiled at her brother.
"You're welcome, Shouto," she said as she offered a hand which he took and pulled him up to stand.
With their combined effort, Shouto stood up wobbling slightly when he placed weight on his sore ankle. An injury he had multiple times before but still annoyed him knowing he would have to be mindful how he walked today. Despite being a head shorter, Fuyumi steadied him with ease.
"You sure you don't need help?" Fuyumi asked, eyeing how he favored one foot over the other.
Shouto thought for a moment and then sighed as he relented, "Maybe I could use a little help. If it's no trouble."
"No trouble at all, brother," the sister said with a smile.
Together, they moved to the closet and picked out his outfit for the day. A plain white shirt with a dark blue overshirt and a pair of dark jeans. The sister then helped Shouto over to the restroom so he could change and get ready. As he did so, she worked on packing him an overnight bag for the sleepover. It would be his first so she wanted him to have everything he would need.
Once he was finished in the bathroom, she helped him ice and then wrap his sprained ankle. From having treated similar injuries, Fuyumi knew that Shouto shouldn't really be walking and instead be resting with his foot elevated. But her brother was a stubborn one and so she knew he would be determined enough to carry out his plans for the day despite the injury. It was no use arguing so she merely stressed to him to take it easy and ice or elevate it as needed as she helped pack some toiletries for the sleepover before zipping the shoulder bag shut.
"Are you absolutely sure you're still up to going to the sleepover?" Fuyumi asked as she handed him the bag. Knowing his answer but felt the need to ask anyway. "It'll be a new experience and you're still recovering from yesterday."
"I'm sure," Shouto insisted as he slung the strap over his head and shifted the bag to hang comfortably on his back. "Izuku was very kind to offer and I would enjoy spending time with him and his friends. And I'm…curious as to what exactly happens at sleepovers."
Fuyumi smiled warmly if but a little bit sad at her sheltered brother. He had been kept so isolated growing up even from his own family. Their father insisting that he put all his focus on training to become a strong Hero. Not to waste time on what he considered 'frivolous distractions'. Shouto never really had any friends either other than the children of other Pro Heroes. Specifically, the daughter of the Yaoyorozu family in hopes of making a match.
But Shouto had never showed such interest in her or anyone really. Not to Fuyumi's recollection. That is until she saw how her brother had acted with his friend Midoriya that she met yesterday. The other boy was so kind and didn't seem bothered by the contact between them. In fact, to Fuyumi it seemed that he enjoyed it. Bringing up the question of how close the two really were to the front of her mind. But the sister wouldn't ask him about that now. Not with all the other things he had planned to deal with today. Seeing mother and then going to his first sleepover would be quite enough for one day.
The siblings made their way through the quiet halls of the Todoroki household. The design was more leaning towards a traditional Japanese style with certain rooms lined with tatami mats and low tables separated by paper-covered sliding doors. The halls and bedrooms featuring hard wood flooring with sparse furniture spread throughout with even sparser trinkets placed upon them. The central garden consisting of a souzu fountain, koi pond, and zen garden surrounded by a roofed veranda. Even the genkan entrance where they kept their shoes held more of a traditional feel that what Shouto experienced at school.
"I'm still a little worried about you going to visit mother today," the sister said as they arrived at said entrance. "You should really rest more after last night. And it's been so long that a few days more wouldn't be too bad to wait until you're better."
"No, I want to go," Shouto said as he put on his shoes. "I need to go. It's been too long already and even one more day seems too much. I'm going."
"Ok," Fuyumi conceded, slipping on some slippers of her own to walk him the short distance to the door. "Well, do you want me to come with you?"
The brother let out a hum in thought at the idea before shaking his head and said, "No, I think I need to go alone. For the first visit. But maybe at another time?"
The sister smiled warmly and nodded before saying, "I understand. We can go together next time if that's what you want. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."
We'll see, Shouto thought, still unsure if his mother would want to see him after so long. After that night.
Fuyumi bid him goodbye which he returned in kind and closed the door behind him. Shouto stood there for a moment breathing in the morning air. It was clean and crisp as if marking the start of a new day. A new life. One that he would take hold of with both hands as he would his Quirk from now on. All he had to do is take that first step in an effort to change himself and his ways for the better. One he took cautiously both figuratively and literally as his ankle was still sore.
With careful attention to his steps, Shouto put one foot in front of the other being mindful of his ankle. He made his way through the streets of his neighborhood to the train station. There was a fair amount of people on it but not to the point of being packed. As common courtesy the train car was quiet with some commuters reading while others napped. The streets were the same with a good amount of people walking about doing whatever business they had on a Sunday morning.
During the commute to the hospital, Shouto found himself recalling the memories of the events of that day. Of his mother's words filled with unease and stress as she spoke into the phone. Voicing concerns for her children and her own mental health. Of her growing fear of her youngest son's left side. No longer seeing the child and instead the man who treated his own family with the same harshness he did to Villains when on the job. Confessing her desire to run away and leave her life behind. Clearly on the precipice of breaking and his younger self was the one to place that final straw.
The unexpected whistle of a boiling tea pot still sets his teeth on edge to this day. But he never nor would ever blame her for what happened. That was all on Endeavor.
Ever since that day though, despite not blaming his mother, Shouto had never gone to visit her. Because, honestly, he was afraid. Afraid of her reaction. The possibility of rejection. Of being unable to give his mother nothing but pain. Because it was his very existence that had driven her away in the first place. Of his left side's resemblance to his father that served as a reminder to all his mistreatment.
But after fighting against Izuku and being forced to remember mother-and-son moments before that fateful day, Shouto finally found himself wanting to try. To take that chance and see his mother after so long. To see if she had maybe forgiven him for sparking her moment of insanity. To find out if he was worthy enough to be her son.
Before he knew it, the youngest Todoroki had arrived at the gates to the hospital. There were less people here and the street was quiet. Shouto stood there, hands in his pockets, looking up at the light blue building that housed his mother. Steeling himself, the teen took that one step forward to pass the gate and kept going towards his goal.
When he made his request to see one Todoroki Rei, the receptionists as well as the few doctors and nurses standing around looked shocked with gaping mouths. A tad unprofessional but unsurprising as staff members would be in the know of the circumstances that landed the wife of the Number Two Hero in the hospital. The scar on his face standing as proof as well. But he insisted upon seeing his mother and signed in before being instructed where to go.
The climb up to the third floor and down the hall to room 315 seemed to take forever yet no time at all. Every step weighed on his nerves but Shouto pressed forward none the less. He could do this. He had to do this. Wanted to. Needed to. In order to take hold of his life that had been out of his hands for so long.
The door to 315 was the same as any other in the hallway. Beside it was a plaque bearing the name 'Todoroki-sama' being the only marking to indicate who was inside. A hesitant ice wielding hand reached for the door handle only to pause and lower back to his side.
You've been a prisoner for too long, mother, Shouto thought as he took a steadying breath. Because of father and me as well. I want to see you. Talk to you. And maybe someday, free you from this place.
Again, he reached out with his right hand and this time took hold of the handle. As quietly as he could, Shouto slid the door open giving him his first glimpse of the woman he hadn't seen since he was five.
Mother.
Sitting on a stool looking out the window sat the woman who gave him life. White of hair that was illuminated and sparkling in the sunlight like a fresh sheet of snow. Skin pale from remaining indoors for so long under pale teal hospital shirt and pants. A letter in her hand that was probably from his sister or elder brother. The sight left him breathless and almost unable to move.
Almost.
With another self-assuring breath, Shouto walked into the room and closed the door behind him. The room itself was sparse. A bed with light purple coverings, a table, and an accompanying small bathroom area was all that made up the room she had spent years in. There were no signs of personalization to the room. No pictures or knickknacks. No personal touches whatsoever despite how long she had been there.
Perhaps I should bring her something next time. Flowers or a plant? Maybe a book? I remember she liked books before.
Shouto silently took in the sight of his mother after so long for a few moments more. It had been years, almost a decade. But despite the distance and lack of contact, they were still connected. Still bound by blood and their history. A bond that could never completely be broken. He took in one more steadying breath before he spoke.
"Hello…mom."
Her reaction was soft and subtle. A slight stiffening of her shoulders and a quiet gasp at the sound of his voice. Slowly, the head of white hair turned and grey eyes full of calm surprise took in the sight of him. Rei stared at him silently, expression of slight disbelief that he was actually there. Standing in the same room as her after so long.
The son stayed silent allowing his mother the time to process the situation. At the same time allowing himself to do that as well. She was here and so was he. Together in the same room for the first time since that day. No screaming or crying. No words of fear or whistling tea pots. No pain. Physically at least as of yet. It gave Shouto hope.
Has she forgiven me?
"Shouto?" Rei questioned as she turned to face him more. Her tone was still unsure. Still not believing he was really there standing in front of her. "Is that…is it really you?"
"Yes," Shouto answered simply, not sure what else to say.
The mother and son continued to stare at each other for a few moments more. Trying to understand the situation and come to terms that the other was really there in front of them. Shouto kept a calm neutral expression on his face while Rei looked at him. Neither a smile or a frown on her own somewhat blank face.
Taking a chance, Shouto took a careful step forward, both for the sake of his mother but also for his twisted ankle. The movement caught Rei's attention as grey eyes stared at his foot. The beginnings of worry started to grow in those eyes as they looked back up at him. The son moved to step back when she spoke.
"You're hurt," Rei stated, a worried knowing look in her eyes.
The comment made Shouto pause. She could tell that fast with a single step? What else would she noticed if she could tell that despite the years away from each other? Panic started to set in his heart. Panic that the mother could also see.
"Please come sit, Shouto," Rei said, gesturing towards the bed.
Grey and blue eyes looked from the bed to his mother and back before cautiously walking forward and sitting on the soft surface. Rei remained sitting on the stool leaving some space between them. Still unsure if closeness was wanted. Still cautious.
"You noticed?" Shouto asked, his hands clenched into fists on his knees.
"Shouto…," Rei said, reaching a hesitant left hand to place on his right one.
When he did nothing to stop her, simply watched her movements, that cool hand he remembers from long ago finally made contact with his skin again. The nostalgic touch caused him to let out a slight gasp. Grey and blue looked up to all grey searching for if she was ok with the contact. Rei smiled softly and gave a gentle comforting squeeze of her hand. The slight pressure was enough to reassure him and relax his fists a bit.
"I'm your mother, Shouto," Rei said, a slender thumb rubbing calming cool circles into his skin. "I know it's been a long time but I know when one of my children is hurt. You can't hide anything from me."
The son stared at his mother searching for truth in her words as her actions were slow, cautious, and comforting. Nothing at all like the last time they had been this close. He looked down at their hands and slowly turned his own over until he could gently grasp her cool fingers in his own. The son gave his mother's hand a tender squeeze before looking back up into her calm grey eyes.
"I've missed you, mom," Shouto confessed, feeling that if he were as quick to emote as Izuku that he would have teared up in that moment. But he wasn't as emotive as his friend. Hadn't been for a long time.
"I missed you too, Shouto," Rei said, a small smile on her face. "I was sad that you never visited, but I understood why you didn't. Not after what I did to you. Please forgive me for hurting you, Shouto."
Her tone changed from mellow happiness to one of pleading for forgiveness. But there was nothing to forgive really. Not from her.
"I never blamed you for what happened, mom," Shouto said, tightening his grip on her fingers for a short moment in reassurance. "You were stressed and scared. I heard what you said on the phone. That you were afraid and concerned for us. That you wanted to leave. All because of him."
The word 'him' came out bitter with a grimace. Rei, not letting go of his hand, stood up to take a seat on the bed next to her son. Sitting on his left side. Shouto tried to shift away. To spare her from having to be near the side of him that reminded her of his father. But Rei only closed the gap again leaving just an inch or two between them.
Much like with her left hand, Rei reached out hesitantly with her right. Grey and blue eyes watched the hand as it rose higher and closer to his face. He looked to his mother for her reaction and seeing if what he believed she was going to do would cause her any pain. Rei merely smiled with a nod before tilting her head in silent question if her actions were ok. A moment passed before Shouto gave a subtle nod in quiet consent.
Nimble fingers cool to the touch carefully reached forward and gently brushed against his left cheek. Again, he gasped at the contact but didn't shy away from it. His mother's hand moved to cup his face and a gently thumb grazed along the rough edge of his scar. She took in a shaky breath feeling the physical evidence of what she had down to her own child.
Fearing that she would pull her hand away, Shouto raised his own free one to carefully grasp hers keeping it on his face. Reassuring her that it was alright. That he was okay with the touch. Because again, he had never blamed her for what happened. The gesture caused tears to well in his mother's eyes and a wobbly sad smile grew on her face.
"I am so sorry I did this to you, Shouto," Rei said, her voice quivering with emotion. "I was afraid I would hurt you. That's why I said I wanted to leave because I didn't want to hurt you. But I ended up doing it anyway. And there's nothing I can do to take it back. What kind of mother hurts her own child?"
Hating to see his mother slowly dissolve into tears, Shouto decided on a whim to take a page out of Izuku's book. He let go of his mother's hands and instead wrapped his arms around her to bring her in a hopefully comforting hug. The burns and bruises hidden under his clothes protested at the contact but he ignored the pain as his mother was more important in that moment. Rei stilled in the embrace letting out a confused gasp before returning the hug in full force.
Shouto tried to hold back from reacting. To ignore the pain of his injuries in order to enjoy that moment. But the crushing pressure of his mother's arms that finally embraced him after so many years was too much. Without meaning to, he let out a pained grunt.
"Shouto?" Rei gasped as she quickly drew back to look at him. Her worry of having hurt her son again upon seeing him after so long was clear on her face.
The mother tried to pull away completely but Shouto didn't let her put any distance between them. He kept a firm but gentle hold of her in his arms. Only allowing her enough space so they could look at each other while keeping in contact.
"I'm fine, mom," the son insisted which earned him a disbelieving look from his mother. Which in turn caused him to let out a sigh before he continued. "Really, I am fine. It's just…the training session I had yesterday after the festival was…more intense than usual."
"Festival?" Rei asked with a raised brow. "As in the UA Sports Festival? That was yesterday?"
"Yes, it was," Shouto answered with a nod. He guessed they might not have informed her it was happening in case the sight of him fighting would trigger something. "I placed in third overall."
A proud smile spread on Rei's face as she reached up to cup his face again as she said, "I'm so proud of you, Shouto." Then her expression turned sour as she realized something. "I'm guessing your father wasn't too happy with that."
The son simply shook his head in somber response. Rei wrapped her arms more carefully this time around her son bringing him back into a hug. Shouto leaned into the comforting embrace and nestled into her shoulder. Cool fingers found their way into two toned hair and the nostalgic sensation brought up emotions that threatened to spill forth in tear form. But still, they did not fall.
"No matter what your father says, I want you to know I am proud of you, Shouto," Rei insisted, cradling her youngest son in her arms. "I may not have seen it, but I'm sure you did your very best."
No, I didn't.
'You know, you winning by half-ass means is an insult to everyone else in this festival.'
Izuku said as much.
'They've worked their asses off to be here. And are still fighting with all their might. But you…you are half-assing your way through these trials and still succeeding as if this was child's play. For everyone to be trying their hardest while you don't is an insult to their efforts.'
He was right. I was not putting my all into the festival.
And Shouto had paid the price. Allowing Izuku the opportunity to get in close and defeat him. Let his friend get inside his head in the middle of a match. But he didn't regret it at all. Not after Izuku had helped him realize something about himself that he had forgotten. Had pulled the spiteful veil away from his eyes so he could see once more what his path was. Reminded him of his goals and the kind of Hero Shouto wanted to become.
'Todoroki-kun, you have a powerful Quirk. You have the ability to channel ice and fire. That power could be used to help a lot of people. But if you don't use and train with half your Quirk, you won't be fighting with your full potential.'
You were right, Izuku.
'You trusted me with your past. I understand why you're refusing to use it. But don't you see? By not using your fire, you're still letting him control you.'
I was letting him control me. In a way I hadn't even realized. But not anymore. I refuse to let my hatred for that bastard hold me back from the Hero I want to be.
"I thought I had," Shouto said, earning a confused look from his mother as she pulled away enough to see him. "I had wanted to win using only my right side and the power I inherited from you. I had sworn I wouldn't use 'his' fire in battle to show I didn't need it to win. To be a Hero. But I was wrong."
He removed his arms from around his mother and instead took her hands in his.
"I have a friend that helped me realize something about myself yesterday," he continued, eyes downcast to their joined hands. "Said I wasn't putting my all into the fights. That I was insulting my peers by not using my full power. My full Quirk. I didn't want to believe him. Didn't want to listen."
Heterochromatic eyes met the other's grey ones.
"But he was right. For years I have refused to use the fire side of this Quirk I was born with. Ever since that day…"
The cool hands in his flinched but he soothed them with a brush of his thumbs. He waited for his mother's hands to relax before continuing.
"…since…then, I had always connected my left side with father. Had seen it as 'his' fire and not my own. That by using it, I would become what he wanted me to be. Rather than what kind of Hero I wanted. But my friend, he refused to let me think like that. To let my…feelings about father hold me back. Even called me out on my stubbornness in the middle of our match. Reminded me that this power is my own."
'It's your Quirk. Which means it's your fire. Your ice. Both of them make your one Quirk. Your Quirk and yours alone.'
Thank you, Izuku, Shouto thought with a fond smile. For opening my eyes to my own ignorance. I'm going to take this second chance you have given me and use it to become the best Hero I can be.
"What he said to me during our fight reminded me of before you left. The time we had spent together and what you told me about being a Hero. That I got to choose what kind I wanted to become and that my lineage doesn't define me. Something I had forgotten until my friend confronted me about using my left side. My fire."
A gentle squeeze from his mother's hands showed her support of viewing the power from his left side as his own. A gesture the son returned in kind.
"He's the reason I'm here today," Shouto said, grey and blue eyes trying to convey it was true. "Because of what he said and what he did to help me, I finally built up the courage and resolve to see you. To take that first step to taking back my life. To see if you had forgiven me for causing you pain back then."
"Oh Shouto," Rei said, wobbling with emotion. The mother brought her son into another hug before saying, "You have done nothing that needs forgiving. I realized my mistake the second I…hurt you. Wanted to take it back. But I can't. All I can do is do all I can that's within my power to make it up to you. Please don't ever blame yourself for what happened, okay?"
Shouto simply nodded and they both soaked in that comforting hug. For ten years, they had been apart but now that they were reunited, the mother and son couldn't seem to get enough of the familial touches. As if making up for lost time.
"So," Rei said as she pulled away and took his hands in hers again. "Who is this friend?"
"His name is Midoriya Izuku," Shouto answered with a subtle fond look on his face. "He's in the Support Course. We met the first week of school when he came to observe our Battle Training with All Might. Izuku actually was the one to win first place over all."
"He did? That's quite an accomplishment," Rei said, with a smile. "Would you pass on my congratulations to him for me?"
"Sure," the son replied with a nod. "He's also the one I lost to in the semi-finals."
"Oh really?" the mother asked, grey eyes full of curiosity. "Tell me what happened."
And so, the youngest Todoroki told his mother about the match. He gave a brief explanation of how Support Course students were allowed to use their own self-made tech. Then he went into their fight. He omitted the accusations he had made of his friend not really being his friend and working for his father. Shouto knew that he had been so very wrong about that and was ashamed of himself for even entertaining the idea. For thinking for even a second that Izuku, his special friend who was the kindest and most genuine person he had ever met, could have ever worked for that bastard.
It almost made him want to go back and slap his past self for thinking such a thing.
Instead, Shouto focused on describing the fight. Every barrage of ice that Izuku had either dodged with the help of his Jet shoes or melted with his Fire mask. He talked about every jump and flip his friend had done to stay in the fight. Had stood up to the ice user and outlasted longer than any of the others who had gone up against him. Most likely could have ended the fight sooner with one of his Support Items but instead chose to keep the match going to talk some sense into him. Had told him that it was his Quirk and his alone.
"His words were what got me to release some of my fire," Shouto finished, a small smile on his face. "Though it was only for a brief moment until Izuku used his tech on me and electrocuted me with it."
"He electrocuted you?" Rei questioned in worry.
"Yes, he did," Shouto replied bluntly. "It knocked me out and led to his win of the match. But I don't regret losing to him because he was right that I was holding back while he was giving his all into the fight and the festival. He deserved to win."
"You speak highly of him," the mother commented.
"I do," Shouto responded. "Izuku is the first real friend I ever had other than the other children of Hero families. But I had never felt…connected with them. Not as I do with Izuku."
A strange smile appeared on his mother's face as if she knew something he did not. Shouto tilted his head in slight confusion.
"Shouto, how do you feel about Izuku?" Rei asked with small curious smile.
How do I feel about Izuku?
Shouto looked down at his hands that were in his mother's cool touch. Remembering how it felt whenever he would hold his friend's hands instead. He could still feel the warmth of the other's touch despite the cool one he had now. How it brought him a sense of safety and comfort that he hadn't felt in a long time while also feeling like something unique at the same time. A state of being that he wasn't entirely sure how to articulate into words. Though there was one word that seemed to fit pretty well.
"Warm," Shouto answered simply as he looked up.
"Warm?" Rei inquired with a tilt of her head.
"Yes, when I'm with him, I feel warm," the son replied, his even tone showing he was 100% serious. "His personality, his smile, his hands…"
"His hands?" the mother interjected with a lilt of surprise.
"Yes, uh, we…we hold hands," Shouto admitted, a slight blush on his cheeks appearing only for a second as he used his ice to cool down. "When I met him the first time, he had questioned me on not using my whole Quirk from the start. I had told him I refused to use my left but he was concerned the overuse of my right would lead to injury. So, he offered to make a Support Item to help me regulate my temperatures."
"That was kind of him," Rei commented before gesturing to continue.
"Izuku is kind. To everyone," Shouto stated with a small smile. Even to me after I treated him so coldly when we first met. He was grateful Izuku had given him another chance. "In order to come up with the appropriate Support Item, Izuku had asked to see how I used my Quirk. I showed him my skills with ice and of course that resulted in the built up of frost on my right side. To better understand my condition, Izuku had asked for my hand to examine it."
Shouto took hold of his mother's right hand and repeated what Izuku had done that day. The first time he had ever held the bi-color teen's hand.
"His hands were warm," he continued, eyes on the hand in his. Happy it was his mother's but also wishing it was another's. "It was…different from what I was used to. Your and Fuyumi's cool touches. Father's that are always too hot. Natsuo's are so few I don't remember and as for Touya…all I remember is the texture of his hands rather than their temperature."
Both Todorokis held a solemn moment of silence for the eldest Todoroki son. In a letter, Enji had told Rei the same thing he had told his children about what happened to Touya. No specific details. Only that he was gone from the world.
"But Izuku's hands are warm and they make me feel warm so I asked if we could hold hands sometimes and he said yes," Shouto said, peering up into his mother's eyes. "I don't exactly know what that feeling is, but I know that it feels nice. Safe. Comforting."
Rei gazed at him quietly as if assessing what he had said. She looked down at her hand in his and placed her other one on top, pushing their joined hands down to their adjacent laps. Grey eyes then turned back to her son's heterochromatic ones.
"I think I know what you are feeling, Shouto," the mother said. "But I also don't want to push my thoughts on you and influence you wrongly."
"Please, mom, tell me," Shouto asked, grey and blue eyes subtly pleading.
"Alright, if you're sure," Rei said, earning a small but eager nod from her son. "I think that you like this boy."
...
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