Bonus Round - Interhouse

Prompt 1: [Location] Bathroom/Toilet

Prompt 2: [Dialogue] "I never imagined you to be this stupid."; [Multiline Dialogue] "Would you help me?" / "No, I'd rather you suffered."

bea writes, Gryffindor, Transfiguration

Butterflies765, Slytherin, Potions

Title: Bathroom Troubles

Betas: Ash Juillet, VanillaAshes

Word count: 2,079

"When Dumbledore expels us, remind me to say 'I told you so'," James murmured to Sirius, glaring in the direction that he thought his friend was. 'Lucky bastard,' James thought.

"It'll be fine!" Sirius whisper-yelled. "We've been in worse scrapes than this."

"But that time, we both were beneath the cloak! Not just you!" James said in the same tone. Just then, he heard the door opening. "And now, someone's coming!"

Both boys shut up as someone James couldn't see from his cramped spot under the sink walked in. The mysterious person paused for a moment, and James tensed. Had he already been spotted? They definitely shouldn't have let Peter be their lookout; he was now stuck in what may or may not be one of the worst places of his life: under the sink in the prefects' bathroom.

Looking back, he could see that this had been a stupid plan. Ever since Remus had become a prefect, he had been gushing about how perfect the prefects' bathroom was, with a lot of different bath salts and different scented taps… now, James wondered if they hadn't been pranked by Moony—it wouldn't have been the first time.

Of course, James and Sirius had begged him time and time again to let them come with him, but every time, Remus had refused. Therefore, they'd taken matters into their own hands. They had gotten the password off a fifth-year Hufflepuff prefect, who was absolutely terrified of them. James had murmured the password—Bathum Marvellousum, a rather lame password if you asked him—and the doors had opened magically for them, and they were in with all of the luxurious bath salts and different scented taps—which Sirius had far too much fun playing with.

They had been so absorbed in seeing the colourful bubbles and goofing around with them, flicking foam at each other that they had forgotten that they weren't supposed to be there. Peter was meant to be their lookout, but if he had seen Filch or that cat of his, he probably would have run and left them to their own luck. If it hadn't been for the mermaid painting alerting them of footsteps in the corridor, they would have been caught — which, looking back on the situation, probably would be better than being cramped under the sink, observing a pair of legs that James could recognise from a distance.

'Shit, what is Lilyflower doing here?' James thought, and at the same time. that his mind started to give him images of what he wanted her to be doing in this prefects' bathroom all alone.

"Come on, Lily!" he heard her say to herself. "You can do this! It's just Transfiguration!"

'She talks to herself?' James couldn't help but think it was the most adorable thing ever.

"If you can do this while you're all alone, you'll be able to do it in front of everybody else!" she continued with her pep talk.

'Technically, you aren't alone… but now I'm curious to see what you're trying to do.' James considered whether or not he could move from his spot without Lily seeing him.

"Pst!"

There was a noise from where Sirius was standing, and James suddenly remembered he wasn't alone with Lily. He shot a look at what he thought was his best friend. Also, what was Sirius doing? Did he want Lily to spot them?

Lily stilled completely. "Who's there?" she asked with a shaking voice, turning around, cutting off James' vision of her. "Reveal yourself, now!"

James waited without daring to breathe, but Sirius didn't say a word. He was almost relieved, thinking the danger had passed when he heard it again.

"Pst!"

James' eyes widened and he glared at Sirius. Though he couldn't see his best friend's face, he could very well imagine him laughing his head off. Did he think this was funny? Well, maybe it was, but not for him! While Sirius was well hidden under the cloak, Lilyflower was bound to find him any moment now, and he could not have that!

He saw Sirius' foot discretely slip out from under the cloak — his cloak, which they definitely could've shared — and kick a small pebble in his direction. It bounced a few times, each landing echoing clearly in the silent bathroom, before skidding to a halt right next to James.

James looked at the pebble, not knowing what Sirius wanted him to do with it. Why had he thrown it at him? If only he could have reached for the pebble, maybe he could have thought of the plan Sirius clearly meant for him to come up with to save this from this awkward situation. But unfortunately, Lily saw the pebble before he could reach for it, and she bent down to take a better look. And that's when she saw James crouching down in a rather uncomfortable position, and she did a most unwelcome thing: she screamed.

"JAMES!"

"Umm… Hi?" James looked up at her with what he hoped was the face of perfect innocence, all while calling Sirius the rudest things he could think of in his mind. This was his fault! "Lovely weather we're having, isn't it? "

"What are you doing here?" she screeched, ignoring his desperate attempt at weather-talk.

"Well, you see, it's a funny story," James started to say with a laugh, but seeing the murderous look on Lily's face, he thought better. "I just wanted to see the prefect's bathroom, that isn't a crime, is it?"

"Not a crime, but detention for sure! What if I was about to take a bath? What would've happened then?" Lily said, starting to get red in the face.

"But you weren't naked or anything!" James said with an angelic face, but it didn't fool anyone.

"But I could've been!" Lily screamed.

"I wish I could have seen you naked just like in my dreams," James said with a smirk, barely thinking about what he had just said.

"JAMES!" The colour of Lily's face was starting to match her hair more and more.

"Well… what were you doing here anyway?" he asked, trying to distract her from the situation at hand once again.

"The peach-scented soap — which you used up entirely by the looks of it — is my favourite and—Wait a minute! Are you trying to change the subject?"

"Who, me? Psst, of course not, Lilyflower," James said, running his hand through his hair like he did when he was nervous. "That's why you always smell of peaches? It's nice to discover your secret."

"It's not a secret, and—" Lily stopped mid-sentence, and glared at James. "Stop trying to change the subject, James Potter! What were you doing here?"

James didn't really feel like answering her question, and he shifted uncomfortably in his tiny spot. He suddenly felt the urge to get up and not be cornered by darling Lilyflower like this anymore. However, it seemed like he was truly stuck, and there was no way for him to unbend his legs. "Would you help me?" he asked, gesturing to himself and wincing.

"No, I'd rather you suffer," she retorted. "And answer the question."

"Who knew that you had a mean streak?" James asked out loud, not missing the glare she sent his way. "I told you already, I wanted to see the prefects bathroom… and use the scented soap… and play a little with the foam. I didn't expect to get stuck under the sink!"

"I never imagined you to be this stupid," Lily said, looking like she was trying to stop a peal of laughter to escape her, but at the same time, completely furious. It was quite a sight. "But again, I totally see how stupid you can be."

James finally managed to remove one of his legs from its cramped position and sighed in relief while Lily glared at him expectantly. A movement from near the door suddenly caught his eye, and he remembered how he wasn't the only one who was in this sticky situation! Though he loved spending time alone with Lilyflower, it wasn't fair that he should be the only one to suffer her wrath.

"In my defence," he started, glancing towards the door that was slowly inching open, as if some mysterious invisible person was trying to escape, "It was all Sirius' idea."

"Sirius is here?" Lily bellowed, her face now turning a rather alarming shade of purple. Was that healthy? Was she okay?

"And he's the one who used up all of the peach-scented soap," James added cheekily.

"Sirius Black. How dare you?" Lily screamed, and James had to put his hands over his ears at the risk of becoming deaf. "You can't hide from me! Accio Sirius Black!"

James couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled out of his mouth seeing Sirius zooming through the air towards Lily—who wisely ducked when he came near her—and seeing the way that he landed on the floor, looking like a pile of dirty rags.

"Thanks a lot, Prongs," Sirius said through gritted teeth, while James couldn't say anything because of the laughter. "I thought we were friends. Who snitches because of soap?"

James scooted out from under the sink and got up before helping Sirius up to his feet, despite Lily's protests. "Says the guy who kicked the pebble around just to get Lily's attention," he told him with a smirk, because, clearly, that's what it had been. Padfoot hadn't wanted him to come up with a plan, no. He had just wanted him to get caught.

"I did that for you," Sirius retorted. "You're the one who wants Lily's attention."

"Oh, shut it, both of you!" Lily yelled as she smacked both of their heads with a Transfiguration textbook which had seemingly come out of thin air. For someone as small as she was, it was quite impressive to see how easily she hit the heads of people who were at least thirty centimeters taller than her.

"She does have a mean streak! Be careful Prongs, or else she will kill you during your future honeymoon and not in a good way." Sirius smirked, which prompted Lily to smack him again. "Ouch, woman! Why are you doing this?"

"One, because you're trying to be funny, and two, because you used all of my favourite soap! How could you do that?" Lily said, trying to smack him one more time, but James got between them.

"Lilyflower, you look a little stressed… is it… that time of the month? Moony has his tempers too, so we just give him chocolate and—" James stopped, seeing the way that Lily was looking at him. He had dug his own grave now.

"JUST GET OUT!" she shrieked. "Before I call Professor McGonagall."

James and Sirius both blanched. "Not Minnie!" Sirius whispered in horror.

"Leave. Now."

"We're going, we're going!" James shouted as both he and Sirius scrambled towards the door. Lily was probably going to have them in detention for a week or two once they'd convinced Remus to sweet-talk her into going easy on them. Or maybe they'd even get off scot-free if they bought her enough peach-scented soap. But with Minnie, they would probably be in detention for another four months!

It was at that moment that Sirius decided to open his mouth as if he had read James' mind. "If peach-scented soap makes Lily soft on us, which soap do you think Minnie would enjoy?"

"Are you suggesting that we avoid detention by getting Minnie soap? Because that is an awesome idea!" James said, excited, mirroring the smile that Sirius was wearing.

"I heard that!" Lily yelled from down the corridor. "And I will not be bought with peach-scented soap!"

James and Sirius exchanged knowing looks. "Whatever you say, Lilyflower!" James called right back.

As he walked off, he heard her reply, "And don't call me that!."

The two boys made their way down the corridor, laughing. "So, how much soap do you think we need?" James asked. Remus plus soap plus two very formal apology letters would do the trick; they both knew it, no matter what Lilyflower tried to tell them.

"Oh, a litre or two should do the job," Sirius said.

"Okay, but you're paying."

"I'm paying? No way! I'm disowned, remember! I don't have any money!"

"Please, my parents give me just as much as they give you. And you were the one under the cloak!"

"What! Hey, no!"