Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.
"Good afternoon, gentleman!"
Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny could not believe what they were seeing in front of them.
They stared with wide eyes and slack jaws at the young blonde boy standing before them, dressed in a red jacket, a white shirt with a bowtie and a brown newsboy cap.
There could be no mistaking who they were looking at - however difficult it was to believe.
"PIP?!" Stan exclaimed with disbelief. "Holy crap, you're alive?!"
"That is correct, fellows." The British boy replied in his usual sophisticated manner. "I have returned from the land of diseased to mingle with you blokes among the living once again."
"How the hell are you alive?!" Kyle demanded. "You died! You can't come back to life! That's impossible!"
"Hey! I die and come back to life all the time!" Kenny mumbled from beneath his hood - but as usual, no one was paying attention to his claims of ever-suffering brutal death.
"It matters not, dear fellow!" Pip smiled. "The point is I have returned - and I intend to stay in South Park for as long as you chaps shall live!"
"God damn it, I can't believe Pip's back..." Cartman muttered grudgingly, clenching his fist. "That pisses me off."
"Have you fellows missed me during my duration where I have been away?"
"No," Stan answered bluntly. "Why would we miss you? We hate you, Pip."
"Oh jolly good!" Pip chuckled, naively thinking the boys were boys were joking. "I am pleased to see you blokes haven't lost your sense of humour while I have been away. Comedy is a strong antidote to assist in coping with the loss of those we like."
"No but, Pip, seriously..." Kyle huffed. "Nobody missed you. Nobody even liked you."
"So why don't ya get the hell outta here, Pip?!" Cartman snapped, glaring.
"Oh my, Eric. I am disappointed to hear you have yet to cut back on your profanity. There is still time for you to break that abysmal habit of yours, for it shall do you no good in the long run. Why, if my dearly departed parents were to hear me express vulgarities, they would-"
"SHUT UP, PIP!" The four boys chorused in all their hatred for him. "GO AWAY!"
"Oh very well. I shall meet you fellows later for high tea to celebrate my return. Cheerio, my friends! Toodle loo!"
Pip turned and began to walk happily away from the bus stop. He left the four boys behind, having no idea of the daggers they were shooting in his back from their eyes filled with hate for him.
"How marvelous! I am back in South Park, reunited with my friends and they haven't changed a bit!" he said happily to himself. "My return calls for much celebration! Hip Pip! Hooray!"
"God damn it!" Stan grumbled. "I seriously can't believe Pip's back!"
"Having him around and bothering us again is seriously gonna suck!" Kyle agreed.
"I wish he would go back to France and stay there!" Cartman seethed. "With all the other stupid British people!"
They watched Pip walk away in all their anger over his return...
...failing to notice how Kenny had started to storm across the road - only to be run over by a truck and killed instantly.
The end.