I loved him. I always had. Ever since we were kids and Betty and I used to tease him about his ginger locks. But somewhere between puberty and our teenage years, Betty had developed a crush on him, forever changing things between our little trio. Then when Archie found out, he admitted he didn't feel the same, leaving Betty crushed. They made up eventually, of course, and things returned to normal.
Then he began to date the new girl, Veronica, and things changed again. I thought he'd never know how I felt. In fact, if it hadn't been for Kevin letting it slip, I highly doubt he'd have ever found out at all. But once he knew...he let it slip that he liked me, too. After he let Veronica down gently, I began to date Archie Andrews. And everything was absolutely perfect.
Until...until he said the words. Words I didn't know how to say back, even if I did feel them, too. I think Archie knew that, deep down, but still, it hurt him. It's not as if I meant to, though. I loved, I hurt, I felt like others. But...I didn't know how to say it.
Call it whatever you want but I'd never known how to express myself in that way. Not even to my beautiful, ginger jock boyfriend of these past two years. And they had been amazing years. I couldn't believe it may all come to an end just because of my own inabilities, my own shortcomings...
All of a sudden, the chime above the door tinkled and Archie walked into Pop's Chocklit Shoppe, instantly spying me sitting in a booth in back. I bit my bottom lip so hard, I tasted the metallic tang of blood on my tongue and in that moment, I desperately wished for once in my life, just to be able to say the words.
His shock of bright red hair caught the overhead fluorescent lights as he slid into the booth across from me, hands splayed out across the cool cream-white tabletop, the only thing separating us. He didn't say anything for a long time, just stretched his hand to mine so as to intertwine our hands. I gazed up into those steady chocolate-brown eyes then and felt a warmth spread throughout my body, flushing out the coldness of fear that had gripped me for weeks now.
And as the next words fell from his mouth, I knew he felt the same.
"Look, I don't need to hear it right now. And you don't have to say it. Not until it feels right to you. I...I didn't tell you with the expectation of you saying it back to me immediately - I just wanted you to know how I felt. And to know that, no matter how long...I can wait to hear those words."
He took a deep breath after his long speech, hesitantly meeting my gaze. But once he saw my smile, he slowly returned it. And I knew we were going to be okay.
Even if I still couldn't say the words.