The church looked like something out of a fairytale. Waterfalls of lilac wisteria fell from the ends of each pew, their sweet scent engulfing the room from the marble floor to the high-arched ceiling. Everywhere Malcolm looked, it was like something out of a fantasy.
Guests began to arrive, taking their seats and making small talk with those close to them. He was anxious; he knew he would be.
As if she could sense it, Jessica appeared behind her son, "You okay, darling?"
He nodded, pressing his lips together in a nervous smile.
She squeezed his shoulder and kissed him on the cheek, wiping the remnants of lipstick off as she left.
While waiting for the ceremony to begin, Malcolm paced the foyer almost manically. It wasn't until the very last moment that he took his place. The crowd was sizable, but not over-the-top by any means, something he was grateful for. The piano began, softly at first, then building. The notes echoed just enough to blend beautifully as they floated away throughout the church. Malcolm closed his eyes and inhaled deeply squeezing his hand into a fist. The few bridesmaids made their way down the aisle walking in time with the music. He continued to take long slow breaths to try and calm himself as best he could.
The notes from the piano crescendoed, shifting into a melody that could only mean one thing. Dani. His eyes flew to her, the way one magnetic force finds another: not even willingly. The sight of her stole his breath. She was flawless, an angel. Her dress was simple, silk that flowed down her body impeccably. Understated, but it would have to be. No dress could ever live up to her elegance and beauty. Her curls fell softly around her face, just as they always did. For whatever reason that relieved Malcolm.
As Dani made her way to the altar, her eyes were glued forward, beaming. A warm glow was emanating from her. Malcolm had never seen anything more radiant in his entire life. She was the standard of perfection by which all other creatures would be measured.
Gil softly kissed Dani's cheek, giving her away, and she turned. The priest began the ceremony.
Malcolm's ears hummed, missing a good part of the words spoken. His heart pounded in his chest, the sound deafening in his ears.
"Do you Danielle…"
Her eyes twinkled and her smile lit the room, as she impatiently waited to say the reply, "I do."
"And do you…"
Again Malcolm's ears rang. His eyes stayed on her, focusing him. She was his north star, the light that guided his way. His everything.
"I do."
"I now pronounce you, husband and wife."
The floor fell out from under him. His foundation disappeared in an instant, turning everything to chaos. The world shifted on its axis, throwing him violently into an abyss filled with darkness, loneliness, despair. It took everything he had not to be ill. He swallowed bile and a thousand words that would forever be left unsaid. An overwhelming icy cold surged through him, as his source of warmth, his reason for existence, kissed her new husband.
Malcolm's hands were shaking uncontrollably and he clenched his jaw in an attempt to stifle the tears that threatened. Jessica's hand found his and squeezed, knowingly, but he couldn't bear to look up at her. The pity in her eyes would break what little resolve he had left.
Applause and delighted cheers filled the church and Malcolm stood with the masses. He forced himself to look up at Dani as she passed, laughing and waving as she went. His knees almost buckled. The thought of having to face her, to shake his hand was unbearable. And yet if he didn't, it would hurt her, something he could never do. Better he die a thousand horrible deaths than to cause her a moment's pain.
As the line of well-wishers slowly moved, Malcolm stared forward, unfocused on anything in particular. Existence had shifted to completing the most menial of tasks one at a time.
Step.
Wait.
Step.
Wait.
Nod.
Step.
When he reached them, Dani was ecstatic, a smile so bright it was practically blinding. She wrapped her arms around him immediately and by some miracle he managed to whisper "Congratulations." He offered his hand to her husband, eyes still locked on Dani.
As he released the man's hand he closed his eyes again. It was a strange feeling to want to remember a moment, an image for the rest of your life and yet simultaneously want it stripped from your memory immediately.
His chest ached as he pushed forward.
The church doors opened and the sun's rays hit him forcefully.
But Malcolm had never felt more cold in his life.