Author Here! This is going to be the last post before I need a bit of a break. The mental strain of writing to post is kinda getting to me, it might take a while, it might take two weeks, but I promise I'll be back.
On a typical sunny and somewhat breezy day at Central Pacific, Hood, Wales, Edinburgh, Mainz, and Saint Louis settled down in the middle of the Eagle Union courtyard for some tea. This little get together was a nice retreat from the rough and tumble Eagle Union kansen whilst still keeping a distinctly western edge compared to the Sakura Empire girls.
"Thank you very much Edinburgh, I really appreciate you going out of your way to do this for me," Mainz picked up the mug and put it to her lips, letting out a satisfied sigh.
"It is no problem really, black coffee just requires the push of a few buttons, far less demanding than what Commander Lockee requests…" Edinburgh said.
"I've learned over the years he has a couple oddities regarding his choice of food, Belfast has a growing list in her head," Wales said.
"As do I, never do I want to come close to his strange habits," Edinburgh shook her head.
"I once saw him eat the decorative flower right out of the cup, it was rather soon after coming under his command actually," Hood said.
"I can't imagine those taste very good," Wales said.
"Well, I did get a bit curious, and trust me, no they do not taste good. If you're looking for edible decorative pieces I suggest molded candies and chocolates, cherries work well too," Hood said.
"Wouldn't that be a bit strong for tea?" Mainz asked.
"A lot of fruit based ones can lean towards the strong side, I know orange is especially prone to becoming overwhelming and needing to be watered down" Saint Louis said.
"Hey ladies," an unexpected Commander Lockee walked out of the building to greet everyone.
"Good day Commander Lockee, care to join us? We have a few open seats," Hood said.
"That's a pleasant thought but I'm unfortunately not here for tea. Louis, can I steal you away for a bit?" Lockee asked.
"Of course darling. Excuse me everyone, I will return shortly," Saint Louis said. Lockee led them back into the building.
"So Akashi's cooked something up in the lab for you. It's called a fate simulation. All it does is give you memories of the war, as if you were there yourself, just like every other kansen, not critical, but something to help us improve," Lockee said.
"Why would that be necessary?" Saint Louis asked.
"It isn't, but you know how kansen get their strength from their 'past' so to say. This would give you a past of your own, and therefore you should become stronger in some capacity," Lockee said.
Saint Louis raised an eyebrow, "Stronger how?"
"Ibuki seems to have gotten some shiny new abilities, she's testing them out still but we're quite confident they will amount to something very useful," Lockee said.
"So it is uncertain?" Saint Louis asked.
"It is uncertain, but again, this isn't necessary."
Saint Louis remained silent as she pondered for a bit. It seemed an odd and vague proposal but he also seemed sure of it. "What is it like?"
"From what I've been told it's like having a few dreams. The process is in one to three minute long bursts over four to six days. Each day your mental cube is guided into forming memories of the war. I will warn you it can be a bit scary, at least according to Ibuki, but we're keeping a close eye on Ibuki and for as sensitive as she seems to be, she isn't exactly looking too spooked," Lockee said.
Saint Louis thought some more, then looked him in the eyes. "John, do you think I should do it?"
"What? I'm asking you if you want to do it," he seemed surprised.
"I know, but… I still want to know what you think," Saint Louis said.
Lockee did a quick sigh. "How about this. As your commander, I want you to do this for the good of Central Pacific Operations. As John… I am a bit worried about what you might find."
"Do you think it will be that traumatic?" Saint Louis asked.
"Well, Ibuki rushed out of the room to find Noshiro after she sank in her fate simulation. I'd also like you to note that Ibuki didn't sink in hers, she had the luck of turning into a museum ship. I find it unlikely that you'll be as fortunate," Lockee said.
Saint Louis wondered what it would be like to sink. To die. She knew that as a kansen her death on the battlefield did not mean her passage to the afterlife, she would come back, though possibly a bit different, would this be so different?
"I will do it John. I just want you to promise one thing to me," Saint Louis said.
John grabbed her hands, "What is that Lou?"
"Promise you'll be there every time I wake up," Saint Louis said.
He smiled, "Absolutely, I wouldn't dream of leaving you while it happens. Now… I have to tell Akashi, the first session should be tomorrow, I'll message you when I find out."
The two leaned in, then exchanged a quick kiss.
John gave her a pat on the waist, "I'll let you go now, you enjoy yourself."
"Of course, give Akashi my thanks for facilitating this."
"Will do, I'll see you later."
The procedure went exactly like it did with Ibuki. The same 'have a seat' and 'what did you see' for the first three days. Saint Louis's history had a far more diverging path than Ibuki, it wasn't like she was shoehorned into engagements like Ibuki, there were entirely new ones, alongside hints of growing Iron Blood air power in the Atlantic. The most dramatic event being the escape from port right as the Iron Blood armies rolled up towards the docks. Her crew wanted to fight but with tears in her eyes, her superiors forced her to leave, at least… it sure felt like there were tears. She was a warship in this world, no actual tears would be shed from her, but the crew's spirit spoke for her well enough.
Saint Louis's diligence kept her emotionless on every post session report. She wouldn't even speak, she just took the pen and paper, then started writing. Though the fourth session seemed to stall her. Lockee noticed Saint Louis staring at the clipboard without writing anything. He snapped his fingers to try to catch her attention. "Lou, is something wrong?"
"Darling, I think you might find this interesting, I don't know what to make of it," Saint Louis handed him the clipboard.
Lockee read it without hesitation. Everything seemed typical of a cruiser operating in wartime, at first he wondered what the issue was, but then when he reached it, it stuck out like a flare in the night.
"How could she…" Lockee glanced down at Akashi. "Mainz was in her simulation."
"Whahah? Give me that," Akashi ripped the clipboard out of his hands. She scanned along the lines until she got to the same place he did. "But how? That doesn't make any sense!"
"Lou, are you sure it was Mainz? It can be pretty easy to confuse ships with each other," Lockee said.
Saint Louis shook her head. "I am confident it was her, even mistaken contacts are rectified at the end of the session. It seems to be worked into the simulation that clarification is provided at the end."
"Akashi, can you confirm?" Lockee asked.
"I mean, yeah but that doesn't solve anything, nyeh…" Akashi slumped over, head bashing into the clipboard.
Lockee turned back to Saint Louis. "Are you done with today's report?"
"I am indeed," Saint Louis said.
"Ok, you are dismissed. I'll catch up with you later, Akashi and I need to talk," Lockee said.
"Very well darling, I'll be waiting in my room," Saint Louis walked out with a deadpan frown.
Lockee turned to Akashi, who still had her face planted on the paper. "Hey get your face off that, you're going to smear the ink! Come on, chin up, let's start thinking here."
Akashi lifted her head to look at Lockee with a dead stare. "I don't understand."
"You don't have the slightest idea of what could have caused this?" Lockee tapped the pen on Mainz's name.
"Well, there are a couple theories I have, nya," Akashi said.
Lockee took a deep breath, "Ok, so what's the first?"
"The first is that her mental cube might have created Mainz and added it into the simulation. That's the most likely, I have to look into the computer more before I tell you the others."
"Obviously we have to look more into it, but I think you're on the right track. Now the real question, it won't be a problem will it?" Lockee asked.
"I mean, unless someone from the Sakura Empire magically shows up in the Atlantic I don't think syo, but even then, as long as it works right?" Akashi said.
"Alright then, let's go ahead and scan that and send it to Azur Lane HQ. I'm going to go now, gotta see if she's alright."
Saint Louis sat at the small dining table, looking at the empty spot in front of her. She stared as if something was inhabiting that space. She snapped out of her trance when she heard knocking on the door.
"Coming!" she called. She rushed to the door, throwing it open to let John in.
"Hey Lou, how are you feeling?" he asked.
"Strange… come, sit with me," she pulled him in and threw the door shut.
Lockee thought it odd that she was so rushed. He grabbed a chair and sat down next to her. She then took his hand, lacing her fingers between his and leaning into his shoulder.
"War is hard," she said with a big exhale.
"It sure is Lou, I read what happened, is it because of Mainz?" he asked.
"It is. To see a world in which a friend has taken and defiled your homeland… only to kill her because of it. A friend. I didn't feel that way about her in the simulation. My crew felt nothing but utter hatred and rage. They channeled it into every shell, every torpedo…"
"You're way less beat up about this than I thought you would be," Lockee said.
"It is like waking up from a dream. It is frightening in the moment, the memory may remain, but the emotion leaves quickly," she said.
"As long as you're alright and think you can go through with it," Lockee said.
Saint Louis suddenly sat up. "I will and I must. As a warrior and protector of this world, as an agent of God's will, I do anything I can to grow more powerful, for all of us."
Lockee chuckled, "Sounds like a yes to me. Oh, while I'm here, do you want a copy of what you wrote down? Ibuki asked for hers and it took a bit to get it to her so I wanted to ask before it got lost."
Saint Louis smiled. "I would appreciate that, bring it to me whenever you wish."
"And… do you think you're going to tell Mainz?" Lockee asked.
"Tell her what?" Saint Louis said.
"Oh you know, that you killed her in a dream," Lockee said.
"I suppose that would be good for purposes of honesty. I'll ask her to come over so we can discuss."
It was fairly easy for Lockee to acquire the papers and bring them back to Saint Louis, as she looked them over she thought it might be a good idea to tell her. Lockee left, and Mainz would arrive full of interest and curiosity, Saint Louis felt a bit bad for what was to come.
Saint Louis sat down with a fresh cup of tea as she waited for Mainz to read through it. She watched every shift of her eyes, waiting for her to encounter that ill-fated moment.
"It is a unique experience, sort of like a dream but in a distant perspective. You are looking at a body that is both yours and not yours at the same time," Saint Louis said.
"Wait, what is this part?" Mainz squinted her eyes to focus on a few lines that seemed unusual to her. "Saint Louis and LeTriomphant focus their fire on Mainz which results in… Saint Louis you… you fantasized about KILLING ME!?"
"Mainz, that isn't quite how the fate simulation works, these aren't scenarios I come up with myself," Saint Louis kept the even tone in her voice.
"I'm not even part of history in this world and you went out of your way to dream of a situation where I could die at the end of your spear!" Mainz shouted.
Saint Louis shook her head. "I had no such weapon, though our spirits are present it seems my memories are restricted to the forms of our ships."
"Do you just think you're better than me?" Mainz asked.
Saint Louis went silent.
Mainz stared at her, waiting for a response, none would come. She gasped. "You think you're better than me!"
"If I am being outright honest, you are, at least in this world, less experienced than I am. Not to mention your disproportionate firepower compared to your defensive capability-"
"Disproportionate?" Mainz scoffed. "This is like when Commander Lockee called me a medium cruiser! Is it because I'm slow?"
"Well…" Saint Louis teetered on her words as she tried to gauge Mainz's reaction to the possibility of more unintended insults. She sighed. "Mainz, if I am being honest to my fullest potential. I swear upon God that I do not think of you as lesser than I. You are capable of many things that I am not. For instance, you are a far better protector than I am."
"A better protector you say?" Mainz asked.
"Yes, I am able to lead our sisters in arms into combat, but I do not have the vigilance to keep myself between them and our enemies. Commander Lockee says I am overly aggressive at times," Saint Louis said.
"I suppose we all have our strengths and weaknesses. I appreciate your honesty, Proud Saint," Mainz said.
"Am I forgiven then?" Saint Louis asked.
"You are, but one more thing. I want to hear more about these fate simulations, I think I might be able to learn from them too…" Mainz then had a mischievous smile, "But when it is my turn for a fate simulation, I will be hunting you down."
This got a chuckle out of Saint Louis, "I wish you good luck on your endeavors."
Based on the previous records, this was the last day. Akashi and Commander Lockee settled in close, watching every breath and movement, every single twitch. Though, Akashi did have to keep an eye on the equipment. They braced themselves for some similar effect to Ibuki but the longer it went on the more uncomfortable things got.
Lockee's heart stuttered and skipped several beats when she started groaning. He fought the urge to reach out and grab her hand. His breathing and heart rate escalated.
"Akashi, is this normal," he asked.
"One of the possible expectations. She'll be fine Commander," Akashi said.
Lockee wanted to believe her, but it was so hard. All those what ifs came to his mind, what if Akashi forgot something, what if it damaged her mental cube, what if...
The final second marked the end of her simulated life, and the resuming of her real one. Though it was only a second, it was a long terrified scream, or maybe one of rage? Commander Lockee didn't care.
Saint Louis flailed into the waking world, accidentally knocking a piece of equipment off the table.
"Nyo!" Akashi shouted as she dove to catch the falling object. Saint Louis and her Commander locked eyes for a moment. She was breathing heavy and tears were streaming from her eyes like a river. They threw themselves at each other, hugging so tight it shortened Lockee's breath.
"Lou are you ok? I've never seen you so scared."
Saint Louis couldn't reply. She could only sob into his shoulder.
Akashi popped back up, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of an undamaged piece of hardware. "I think she just experienced her death Mr. Commander. They say that the reason you are born crying is because you still remember the death of your previous life."
Lockee glanced between the two for a second. "Akashi get out!" he hissed.
"Whah? But the recording! I need to check to see if-"
"Now Akashi!"
Akashi squeaked and darted out of the room, leaving Commander Lockee and Saint Louis alone. He rocked her back and forth and stroked her hair while she cried.
"It's alright Lou, you're back in Hawaii. Everyone is here, all safe and sound," he said. "Can you tell me what happened?
Saint Louis drew a sharp inhale, then spoke. "It was… a cruel battle, so many were there. Royal Navy, Eagle Union, and Iris Orthodoxy alike. Our victory was indeed assured, I know we won. But there was one…" Saint Louis's voice cracked. She recomposed herself only to squeak out one line. "Graf Zeppelin, she was the one to sink me," was all she managed to eek out before she started crying again.
Lockee hugged her tighter, "I think that's enough, I shouldn't have asked that. I think you could use some nice hot tea and maybe some pastries. I'll call Suruga and tell her to close up the office early. You and I are having a stay-in night."
As promised, they returned to her room to have a quiet evening. Warm and rich comfort food was obtained, Saint Louis changed into a nightgown, and Lockee stripped his outer uniform, leaving only his shorts and a T-shirt. Once the sun had set they settled in under a blanket to watch a movie, a nice romance by the name of "Twice as Bright", an older one he remembered being quite well rated. He knew that Saint Louis had a couple romance novels lying around.
They kept the lights off and closed the shutters so it was just them and the movie. John was so focused that only the sound of Saint Louis sniffling pulled him out of the scene. He looked at her to see tears rolling down her cheek. "Lou! Are you-"
"Non-non, I'm fine I just… it's the movie, not today," Saint Louis said. John could see the smile in the dim light of the screen.
John smiled as well and relaxed. He pulled her in even closer, wiping up her tears with the blanket. "You really are a sucker for romance. You hang the whole horror movie thing over my head but now I have this on you."
"John! I do not, and don't you dare tell anyone!" Saint Louis said. Her weakened voice caused her threat to have a similar lack of strength and intimidation.
John chuckled and kissed her cheek. "Ok ok I'll stop.."
"You are lucky this movie is so good." Saint Louis briefly turned her attention to John's hand snaking under the blanket to grope her thigh. "John, save it for later, let us finish watching."
"Lou I've seen this movie before, the credits are about to roll in like thirty seconds," John said. Sure enough, only a moment later the outro song played and the end credits started rolling up the screen.
"Oh… well, thank you for showing me that darling, I quite enjoyed it. Is it…" Saint Louis trailed off.
"Hmm?"
"Is it later now?" Saint Louis asked meekly.
"Oh Louis, I really need to teach you how to flirt," John said.
"John I don't really know if I can do that… to say those sorts of things."
"Aww you can't even bring yourself to say that you want me? Or that you're thinking of what you want me to do to you right now?" John leaned in and kissed her neck.
Saint Louis, nearly out of instinct, tilted her head to give him easier access. She let him push her down onto the couch as he crawled on top of her.
"You know, flirting is a lot more free flowing than you might think. It's an artform, a skill that can be trained, do you want me to help you out on that front?" John asked.
Saint Louis nodded, "Yes, please."
"Good, your training starts now."
After a night of comforting, Lockee did get her to write out what happened in that last bit of her simulated life. To his relief, she wrote it down with her typical stoic manner, calm and confident.
"Thanks a lot Lou, I know it was rough but… I think it's good we did this," Lockee flipped through the pages she wrote on.
"Of course John, I think as well that I benefited from it, I feel… more experienced because of it, like I have gone through more combat," Saint Louis said.
"I think that was the goal. I have to take this to Akashi, I'll see you later," Lockee walked out the door of her apartment. As much as he wanted to stay with her there was still business to attend to. Akashi was waiting on him, and he was sure she wasn't happy about being kicked out of her lab yesterday just so he could console an upset loved one.
He arrived at her space with bravado, holding the papers up high, "Here we are Akashi. The remaining piece of her fate simulation."
Akashi turned to him with a joyful smile of her own, "Nyah! Another successful fate sim! Though I'm going to need to think about this more. If every kansen comes out crying and wrecking my equipment we need a sturdier method. Saint Louis is fine right?"
"To be completely honest, I thought the trauma of dying would be a bit more severe," Lockee said. "I mean, by morning she seemed A-OK."
Akashi had a beaming smile. "Akashi's genius hits again! These fate simulations are designed in a way where emotions are not lasting, but the memory and power that comes with it remains, nyahaha!"
"Well done again little green cat, I'm going to call this in to HQ, tell them all the good news," Lockee patted Akashi on the head.
"Nyaa you're too kind, you can have a three percent discount on your next purchase," Akashi said.
"A little underwhelming but I appreciate the sentiment…" Lockee suddenly went dead silent as he looked at Saint Louis's reports.
"What's the matter Mr. Commander?" Akashi asked.
"Saint Louis didn't seem to have an immediately noticeable effect like Ibuki did. I mean, I guess we got a bit wrapped up in emotions but…," he said.
"But her readings were like Ibuki's at the end, so something happened, maybe Ibuki was the odd one," Akashi said.
"Maybe so, I'll make sure that gets through to high command. Either way, this is some very exciting developments."
Laffey and Lockee were on a stroll during his lunch break when an excited looking Denver ran up to them.
"Hey, hey Commander Lockee! You gotta come check what's up at the training waters, it's Saint Louis, she's a super hero now!" Denver said. Before Lockee even had time to ask questions she turned and ran. Laffey and Lockee looked at each other before running to follow her.
As they approached they saw Saint Louis standing on the water, rigging active, lance in hand. She turned to look at her commander. "John, I think it has worked." The air around her seemed to sparkle and her hair waved on an intangible wind.
"Lou, what's happened to you? You seem to have gotten a bit of a glow up, literally."
She looked out towards the open water, swirling light coalesced at the ends of each of her gun barrels before forming into flash beams of golden energy. She looked back at Lockee with a smile.
"Darling, I have the light of the Iris within me…"