Tax Haven
by Rose Thorne
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with The Untamed, and make no money writing fanfiction.
"Oh, he's calling the whole group," Yanli said with a giggle.
Dinner had long since passed, Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan having left them in the living room in favor of going to bed, before Jiang Yanli decided to update the group chat and cash in the bets.
"Pretend we're not here," Wei Ying insisted. "I can't believe you had a group chat all these years."
The moment the group call connected, Huaisang screeched " What do you mean?! "
"What are you confused about, A-Sang?" Yanli asked innocently.
"Are they getting married as a gag ?!" he demanded.
Wei Ying had to hide his face in Lan Zhan's shoulder so as to muffle his giggles. Huaisang sounded absolutely offended.
"Oh, no, not at all," she replied. "They confessed after Wangji said yes."
The " WHAT ?!" that followed was a cacophony of voices and would absolutely be all caps in text.
"It's true! A-Xian realized he answered too fast, and that there must be a reason. So then he confessed first."
"That's so romantic," Wen Ning said with a soft sigh.
"It's the furthest thing from romantic," A-Cheng muttered, earning a stuck-out tongue from Wei Ying. "It's fucking backwards ."
" You thought they'd confess watching a rom-com, A-Ning," Wen Qing cut in.
Oh my god, he's too pure for this world , Wei Ying mouthed dramatically at his siblings. Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes, and Yanli nodded in agreement.
"They're far too oblivious for that ," Wen Qing continued. "I'm shocked Wei Wuxian figured it out at all."
"I thought they'd move in together and there'd be a lot of unresolved sexual tension and pining first," Lan Huan said.
"You act like there wasn't already pining," Mingjue said with a laugh. "Honestly I think they were starting to influence the weather. I mean, remember the wedding? I thought Wangji was going to rip off Wuxian's clothes right there!"
Wei Ying had to hide his face again, this time from a combination of embarrassment and mirth.
"You were very hot," Lan Zhan whispers in his ear, and then it's for a completely different reason.
"You almost had it right, dage. But technically Wangji-xiong confessed first. Technically ."
"We lost years ago, Huaisang. Wei Wuxian already wound up in the hospital and Wangji didn't make his move," Wen Qing said. "I even made popcorn waiting for him to storm the hospital looking for him."
"A-Jie, that's mean."
"Yeah, the popcorn went fucking cold waiting. Cold microwave popcorn sucks ."
"A-Jie!"
A-Cheng started laughing when Wei Ying mouthed Serves her right .
"Now, now," Yanli broke in with a giggle. "The only real loser is A-Xuan, since he bet on never."
Wei Ying couldn't hold back a squawk at that.
"He what ? What the fuck? The only win the Peacock has ever had is you, anyway."
The absolute and utter silence on the line was almost deafening.
"I'm guessing Wangji is there, too?" Lan Huan finally asked quietly.
"Mn. We announced during family dinner."
" Mean ," Huaisang said. "So mean!"
"You bet on me getting hurt, Sangsang!"
"Oh, come on, that's a fair bet!"
"Wei Ying will be more careful," Wangji said, softly and insistently.
Wei Ying smiled widely at him.
"Of course. You'll help, won't you, gege?" he asked, turning it into a flirtatious purr for their audience.
"Oh, fuck. They're gonna be worse now," Wen Qing muttered. "I'm hanging up."
"Jiejie!" A-Ning scolded, but too late, as she'd already dropped off the call. "She had to go to work."
"Honestly, A-Ning, you're too pure for this world. Watching a romcom? That's so sweet," Wei Ying said. "I mean, we would've gotten together back in high school if that had worked. Damn, we wasted so much time."
Lan Zhan's ears go red, and it's adorable .
A-Cheng made a retching noise.
"Now they're making cow eyes at each other," he said, narrating.
"Not really that different from normal," Mingjue commented.
"Rude," Wei Ying said. "Lan Zhan is too elegant to be a cow."
Surprisingly, that made Lan Huan laugh.
"He once tripped over his own feet watching you go up the stairs in booty shorts, you know," he said after a moment, still chortling.
"Xiongzhang!"
"Clearly I need to wear more booty shorts," Wei Ying said, and laughed when Lan Zhan gave him a flustered glare.
The call devolved from there into more playful ribbing and reminiscing about times when they could have gotten together. It was a wonderful night.
One two three four, I declare a fic war~!
We kind of can't stop enabling each other.