It had been a few months since she began to work towards opening up to Andréa, and Miranda found herself truly happy, for what seemed like the first time in her adult life since giving birth to her beautiful babies.
Humming lightly along to the soft music playing as she sipped the first searing hot coffee of the day and organised batter for the pancakes they would have for breakfast, she was content.
Preparing breakfast for her girls had become a regular thing since Stephen had left, and she had come to adore the uninterrupted time they shared.
"You seem happy, mommy." Cassidy's voice broke her focus on the meal she was preparing and turning around, she couldn't stop her smile at the sight of her youngest child. Still in her pyjamas, and wearing a fluffy purple robe, with her red hair wild and untamed and rubbing her sleepy eyes, Cassidy seemed so young.
"I am, Bobbsey." Miranda's smile widened even further at the genuine smile she received at her admission.
Cassidy wrapped her arms around Miranda's waist and buried her head into her chest. "Did you have a good dinner last night?"
"I did. It was rather lovely." Miranda stroked her fingers through the tangled red curls and hummed a little more of the song.
Cassidy raised her head and caught her eyes. "Who was there?" She asked.
"Nigel and various others made an appearance throughout the evening," Miranda explained.
"Was Andy there?" Cassidy asked.
"Yes." Miranda sighed, remembering how she had seen the brunette home and left her with a chaste kiss on the cheek. "She asked about you and Caroline again and I told her how tall you were both getting and how well you are doing at school. She asked me to tell you hello."
"Does seeing her make you happy, mommy?" Cassidy asked softly.
Stiffening slightly, Miranda pulled away and turned back to the counter. She covered the pancake batter and pushed it to one side, "Come, sit." She took Cassidy's hand and led her to the breakfast bar. Sitting down beside her daughter, she spoke honestly. "As you may have come to realise, I missed Andréa greatly after she left us, and from what I have come to learn is she has likewise missed me–" She faltered. "–us too. But I am unsure how a friendship would work between us."
Cassidy's shoulders slumped and she averted her eyes. "So you're not friends?" She queried sadly.
"I don't know." Miranda frowned. "I think we are–I mean–I would like to be–it's just–" Lifting Cassidy's face, she searched her eyes and saw the disappointment. "–why does that upset you, Bobbsey?"
"Because I know you're happy after you've seen her, and you're sadder when you don't," Cassidy explained, her lips forming a pout. "You never hummed to the radio after having dinner with Dad or Stephen you used to work even more."
"Did I?" Miranda mused. "I hadn't even realised I did that." She murmured. Shaking herself from her thoughts of her exes, Miranda leaned forward and pulled Cassidy onto her lap and pressed a kiss against her forehead. "Do you know what I hope for you and your sister, Bobbsey? Cassidy shook her head before burrowing into the crook of her neck. "I hope you find a love that inspires you to hum, sing or dance instead of walking on eggshells."
"Eggshells?" Cassidy frowned. "I don't understand." She admitted.
"It means–" Miranda wondered how she could explain in an age-appropriate way that Cassidy would understand. "–It's when you tread lightly because you never quite know what type of mood someone's going to be. It's when you tiptoe around to find out, waiting to see what reaction you will get before you decide on what you're going to do or say, of how you behave. It's being wary of your actions because you are unsure of the verbal or physical response you will receive."
"Like with Stephen?" Cassidy mumbled.
"Yes, just like with Stephen," Miranda admitted. "There were times I dreaded our interactions because I never knew if he'd be understanding or angry with me. And having a long term relationship with that kind of person can be draining and extraordinarily stressful." She shook her head sadly. "That is something I never want for you to experience. I never want you to be put in that kind of situation."
"Do you love her? Andy I mean." Cassidy's question was hesitant. "Is that why you're humming?"
Frankly, Miranda had no idea what to say. She couldn't lie outright, but she was still so unsure about how to express her feelings. Did she truly love Andréa or was it just the idea of her that appealed?
"There are many things I love about her," Miranda stated softly. It was the best explanation she could give to her daughter.
She allowed herself to think of the brunette, of how butterflies soared in her stomach in the moments before she knew she would see her bright smile again, of how everything else ceased to exist once she was in her presence.
She had been telling herself that it was merely an infatuation, one that would no doubt disappear eventually, once Andréa lost interest in her old Runway life, and yet–
She heard feet clattering down the stairs and Caroline slid into the room before coming to a grinding halt in front of them. She held her iPad in her hands and her cheeks were flushed.
"Is there something you need to tell us, mother?" Caroline stated coldly.
Taking umbrage at the tone of Caroline's voice, Miranda lifted Cassidy and placed her back onto her stool. "Why don't you tell me, Caroline?"
"This." Caroline hissed, thrusting the iPad into Miranda's hands.
She looked down at the screen to see the browser open to Page Six online. A large photograph of her and Andréa from the night before dominated the screen. It was the moment they were saying their goodbye but the photo had been taken at an angle that made it seem their embrace was far more than chaste. She skimmed the article and found it full of baseless speculation and highly suggestive innuendo about Miranda and the yet unnamed woman.
Unable to stop herself, she started laughing until tears pooled in her eyes. Placing the iPad down on the breakfast bar, she continued to snigger as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
Caroline stomped her foot. "I don't see what's so funny. Do you realise how embarrassing this is?"
Miranda's laughter stopped as suddenly as it started and she studied her eldest daughter in disbelief. "Who's embarrassment are you more concerned about, Caroline?" Her lips began to purse. "Mine or your own?"
Caroline's hands moved to her hips. "Everybodys. Seriously, mother, if you're going to snog someone's face-off, you should make sure it's not going to end up on Page Six for the world to see." She insisted.
"I see." Miranda inhaled a deep, cleansing breath, her eyes closing from the effort to remain calm. "And I suppose if I told you it was innocent, you wouldn't believe me?"
Caroline scoffed. "As if. We know how much you love Andy, and it's obvious it's her in the photo with you." she shook her head. "Can't you just stop with the midlife crisis already and play with someone your age."
Miranda's eyes blazed open and she glared at her daughter. "That's enough, Caroline. I love you unconditionally, so I shall not give you an ultimatum about accepting Andréa into our lives, but I will not have you disparage my feelings nor hers." She took up the iPad and closed the browser before turning it off. "There'll be no electronics, for a week, except for homework." She told her, holding her hand out. Caroline rummaged in the pocket of her robe and slapped her cell into Miranda's open palm. "That's all." She swept past, leaving the young girl open-mouthed.
Cassidy looked at her twin and sighed. "God, Care, you can be so dumb." She shook her head. "You know, mom deserves to be happy and loved. If Andy makes her feel that way, we should support that." She slid from her stool. "I'm getting ready for Dad's. I doubt we'll be having pancakes now. Thanks a bunch."
~x~
After Caroline's words, Miranda sequestered herself in her study and attempted to focus her attention on the book to take her mind off what had been said and the implications of her daughter's words.
Yet, even as she opened the book and looked through the pages, she found herself gazing apathetically at the contents, unable to concentrate. She glanced at a brunette model wearing Balenciaga and her thoughts ran to how Andréa would be a better candidate to model the belted lace-up leather skirt. Her beautiful curves would surely enhance the supple leather and stretch jersey.
Sighing in frustration, she closed the book and gazed out of the window overlooking her small back garden and contemplated everything. She understood, even if she considered extending her relationship with Andréa, she would have to learn that not everything in their relationship would be about her. She would have to think about Andréa's well-being, her wants and needs, and at times put them first. She would have to learn patience and be willing to be selfless.
Like Andréa.
She seriously didn't know if she could change, to stop putting her needs above her partners, but she knew wanted to try.
For Andréa.
Letting her thoughts roam to the time she had spent over shared dinners and drinks with Nigel and the woman at the forefront of her thoughts, she recollected how the conversation flowed easily between the three of them. She knew having that kind of connection one-on-one would be invigorating.
Andréa had turned out to be passionate, intelligent and articulate, once she'd gotten over her nerves. Miranda had found her to be a wonderful conversationalist and had grown to adore the innate ability she had to read people, including her.
There was a comfort to be found in Andréa, one that had been sorely missing in the three years since her departure from her side in Paris. Yet, she had always known that the younger woman would return to her. She recognised Andréa would always be in her corner, fighting for her and the relationship they shared. She was, without a doubt, fiercely protective of the people she cared about and Miranda had caught the whispered tales about the young woman putting people in their place when they tried to disparage her time at Runway. It was widely known throughout the industry now, how she would not tolerate listening to a word spoken against Miranda.
Even with her having doubts, upon reflection, Miranda could see Andréa didn't have them. Over the last six months, she had proven to be loyal and tenacious. She was someone who would do absolutely anything to have a place in her world, who would never willingly let her push her away again, she would continue to go after her if she tried to walk away.
Unable to resist, she picked up her cell and upon hearing the terse greeting, spoke gently. "Andréa, I know this may be an imposition, but would you join me at the townhouse for lunch?" Upon hearing the hesitant agreement, she sighed in relief. "I'll expect you at noon. That's all." She winced at the dismissal and before she hung up, she let herself voice her gratitude. "Thank you, Andréa."
After finishing breakfast, much to Cassidy's delight and with Caroline offering a subdued apology and clearing the dishes without being asked, she saw the twins off with their father for the day. She knew they would be home later that afternoon and decided that she would allow them to choose dinner.
With the house empty of pre-teens and unable to concentrate on work, Miranda started to prepare the lunch she had decided upon, of vegetarian chilli and homemade cornbread. She was certain Chilli was something Cincinnati was famous for and she had heard Andréa, in the early days of her time at Runway, talking to Serena about how much she missed her grandma cooking it for her.
The time passed blessedly quickly with her baking the cornbread, draining and rinsing kidney, pinto and black beans, chopping red bell peppers, onion, a single jalapeño, and ensuring she had formulated the correct amount of seasoning for the mix of vegetables, can of tomatoes and broth before adding a frozen vegetable medley, including carrots peas corn and green beans and allowing it to simmer.
The recipe Cara had sent via text was simple, but the kitchen smelled delicious from the scent of the bread and the spices and her stomach rumbled.
Glancing at her watch, she realised it was quarter to twelve. She was convinced Andréa would arrive shortly since she was always that fifteen minutes early.
Moving out of the kitchen while patting down her hair, Miranda stepped towards the front door, ready to open it as soon as she heard the knock, and saw a shadow from behind the frosted glass. It sank and disappeared, causing her to frown.
What the hell?
~x~
Meeting Miranda for lunch at the Townhouse wasn't something Andy had even considered could happen until the call arrived requesting her presence.
In all honesty, after the Page Six fiasco that morning, which had seen her being woken by calls and texts to her cell from Nigel, Doug, Lily and her parents, she was sure she would be the last person Miranda wanted to entertain.
The fact was, despite what people seemed to believe now, Nigel's exclamation of "finally", Doug's sad claim she had been "holding out on him", Lily's "I knew it", and her parent's "what the hell are you thinking?", she and Miranda hadn't put a label on whatever it was that had grown between them. They weren't friends and they certainly weren't lovers.
And lunch was no doubt going to be Miranda's way of letting her down gently.
She'd honestly had hope, that after almost three years away from Runway and with six months of that seeing Miranda socially, that somehow the editor would finally be ready to admit her feelings. It was obvious Miranda felt something for her, it was clear in the softening of her gaze as she looked at her, the small, happy smiles she gave to her, the light touches to her back as they walked side by side together.
It all had to mean something, surely?
As she walked towards the Upper East Side, through the brisk early winter air, she knew she was working herself into a snit but couldn't seem to stop herself. She knew her darkening mood from the hopelessness she felt would likely manifest in her and Miranda arguing, and yet, there was a small part of her that wanted a fight, that way she could at least mask her hurt with anger.
Reaching East 73rd, from Lexington Avenue, Andy slowed down and when she finally reached the Neo Italian Renaissance-style mansion that Miranda called home, she sank onto the stoop and rested her head in her hands. "What the fuck am I doing?" She whispered.
So deep in thought was she, Andy didn't hear the front door open, nor the tread of feet moving behind her. The first she knew of Miranda's presence was when she eased herself down beside her.
"Were you planning on knocking, or simply going to sit here for the foreseeable future, Andréa?" Andy watched as Miranda's lips twitched up in the barest hint of a smile.
Dressed down in black skinny jeans and a cream Calvin Klein cable-knit jumper, with her hair a little longer than usual and swept away from her face, she looked a lot less severe than when they had first met.
"I was just trying to gear myself up for whatever's coming," Andy admitted. "Page Six unleashed."
"It's unimportant." Miranda inched closer and nudged Andy's shoulder with her own. "They simply had nothing better to report on today, but someone else will take the limelight tomorrow."
"You sure about that?" Andy asked.
"I have hope." Miranda's lips twitched and Andy remembered the last time the editor had said something similar to her. As if recollecting that moment herself, Miranda continued. "As you must remember, I live on it." She sighed softly and shivered slightly. "You know, I don't think I ever told you how I found myself smiling upon seeing you that day on the street, shortly after you quit?"
"No, you didn't." Andy was stunned. "Why did you do that?"
"By that time, I had freely admitted to myself that I liked and respected you. You were honestly like no one I'd ever encountered before, and most assuredly, unlike any assistant, I'd ever hired." Miranda sighed. "I told you I saw a lot of myself in you and how we all have choices. I admired the fact you left Runway, embracing the life I wish, looking back, I had chosen. The decision you made showed what kind of a person you are and what kind of a person you want to be." Miranda tilted her head so it rested on Andy's shoulder. "Lately, I have been thinking that perhaps it's not too late for me." She whispered.
Andy had grown to appreciate Miranda's work persona as a powerful leader and she admired her dedication and her accomplishments, but she'd also been able to see through that facade to the woman underneath. She had seen Miranda's empty personal life outside of her children, the husband that barely tolerated her, despite her successes and she had stood up for her in the face of other people's scorn.
And yet, when she left Runway, there was a small part of her that wanted to prove to Miranda that you could have a balanced work-love life. That you didn't have to choose between a career and personal relationships.
Upon reflection, she hadn't managed that. Instead, she'd thrown herself into her new role at the Mirror and let most of her relationships continue to fall to the wayside. It was only Nigel who'd stuck around, and by extension, Emily and Serena, and they were often as busy as she. Doug was also there, although she generally kept him at arm's length knowing he still had a relationship with Nate and Lily, who remained intolerant even after leaving Runway.
"What do you mean?" Andy asked, finally turning her head to look at the older woman.
Miranda's smile took her breath away. "This." She pushed herself closer and without any hesitation, snared Andy's lips in a chaste kiss.
It took Andy a moment to react and her heart started to pound in her ears. When Miranda made to pull away, she whimpered and reached up to her face, cupping it and pulling Miranda's mouth back against hers, stifling Miranda's soft gasp as her lips covered the older woman's.
It was, by far, the most sensuous kiss she had ever experienced in her life and opening her mouth to Miranda, their tongues met, dancing, swirling and tasting as they moved against the other. It was as if her lips and tongue had a mind of their own, making love to Miranda's as if born to do just that.
A low wolf whistle broke them apart and Andy pulled back, knowing her face would be showing her embarrassment by the deep flush. She spotted a lone paparazzi lurking across the street snapping photos and ducked her head. "I'm sorry," she whispered the apology hesitantly.
Miranda inhaled sharply. "Don't be, unless you regret–"
"I don't regret it." Andy interrupted hastily. "It's just–" Andy looked up before nodding her head in the direction of the paparazzi. "–it'll no doubt end up all over Page Six and I don't want to embarrass you any more than I already have."
Miranda stood up and stretched, her jumper tightening over the swell of her breasts and Andy could hardly tear her eyes away from the beautiful woman. She extended her hand and blinked down at her.
Andy took it and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet, stumbling slightly until Miranda's hands moved to her waist to steady her.
"Careful." Miranda admonished lightly.
Looking down into twinkling blue eyes, Andy raised her hand slowly, giving Miranda the chance to pull away if she wanted, before using the tips of her fingers to sweep the hair out of her face.
Miranda leaned her cheek into her palm. "I'm not embarrassed, Andréa. Caroline, nevertheless, may have one or two things to say about it." She smirked. "Then again, I doubt she wants to lose any more privileges." Miranda shook her head. "Come along. We'll have lunch and then–" She shrugged. "–well, I suppose we should formulate a plan of action."
"Yes, Miranda." Andy pulled away slightly but instead of letting go of her hand, Miranda entwined their fingers fully and led her towards the house. Casting a final glance over her shoulder, she smirked at the paparazzi who was still snapping photos of them.
~x~
Andy inhaled as she stepped into the kitchen and her mouth watered and her stomach growled noisily causing Miranda to turn to her, an eyebrow raised. "Something smells delicious." She grinned ruefully. "What's cooking?"
Miranda smiled happily. "Chilli."
"Oh wow." Andy was surprised by the effort Miranda had put into the meal. "Is chilli something you have often?"
"No," Miranda admitted. "I remember hearing you speak of it, so I asked Cara for a recipe, in the hopes it could match those you ate in Cincinnati. I believe it is a local speciality."
Andy frowned. "You made me Cincinnati chilli?"
Miranda shrugged. "It was no trouble."
"Mm, with spaghetti?" Andy hummed in anticipation but saw Miranda frown.
"Why on Earth would it be served with Spaghetti?" Miranda asked in confusion. "I've made cornbread."
Andy inhaled again and let her senses take over. She could smell the usual cumin and chilli powder and something she couldn't quite identify, but not the usual paprika, allspice or cinnamon, not her grandma's secret ingredients, the rich dark chocolate. She stepped closer to the stove and looked down into the simmering pot of stew. She saw the different beans and vegetables and quickly realised there'd been some confusion. Miranda had made her a vegetarian chilli.
Her lips twitched up in amusement and yet she was touched. Despite it not being what Miranda foresaw, no one had ever done something like this for her. No one had cared enough to try to make her a dish from home. "Thank you," Andy turned away from the stove and glanced at Miranda. "I'm looking forward to trying it."
Miranda sagged and Andy spotted the hint of relief in her eyes. She decided she wouldn't tell her of the difference, not yet anyway. She just hoped it wasn't too spicy since Midwesterners didn't usually go for hot, instead, simply enjoying a warm, hearty, filling meal.
"Coffee?" Miranda asked.
"Sounds good." Andy smiled.
She studied the editor as she turned her focus onto preparing the hot drinks for them and her thoughts moved to the things she desperately wanted to share with the woman. 'I hope I can be someone who teaches you, you didn't deserve what happened to you in the past. Someone who can love you so hard, you no longer feel the pain you've carried every day.'
Miranda turned to her before she could school her features and her eyebrows knitted. "What?" She asked, clearly perplexed.
"You are so beautiful, Miranda," Andy spoke to the woman tenderly. "I always thought so, but now–well, today, you're glowing." She noticed the blush rising prettily across Miranda's cheeks and felt hers flush in sympathy.
"Let's get comfortable. Lunch will need another thirty minutes or so." Miranda suggested, leading the way out of the kitchen with their mugs of coffee in hand.
Miranda turned to the left and following, Andy was amazed to find herself in a small, comfortable library with double-height bookcases with a ladder to reach all the books up high. She realised she'd been in the room once before, on that night Miranda had told her she was going to Paris, but back then she'd been able to pay close attention due to her nerves. Her eyes scanned the room hungrily. "Oh, wow." She breathed in awe. "This room is amazing."
The room was, despite the floor to ceiling shelving in panelled wood, light and rather airy thanks to a large window overlooking the small garden at the back of the house. The room held a leather club chair, with an elegant Queen Anne Style walnut side table beside it, and a large Windsor Chesterfield sofa. It was the kind of furniture you would expect to see in a private gentleman's club or cigar lounge, but it suited the editor.
"You are quite free to treat this room as your own when you visit," Miranda stated, placing the coffee's down on coasters on the matching Queen Anne Style walnut coffee table. "My home office is directly above this." She sat in the corner of the large Chesterfield and patted the seat beside her. "Come, sit." She urged. "Make yourself comfortable."
Instead of taking one of the armchairs, Andy sat beside Miranda, leaving a small gap between them. She grabbed her coffee and sipped the dark, rich brew. Sighing, she leaned back happily. "So you want me to spend time here?" She questioned hesitantly.
"Very much so," Miranda smirked. "I believed, after our moment out on the stoop, that would be fairly obvious."
"Perhaps I just need a reminder." Andy grinned when Miranda took the mug from her hands and placed it back on the table before taking her hand and closing the gap between them.
"I think a reminder can be arranged," Miranda whispered before leaning in and brushing a soft kiss against her waiting lips.
~x~
They were just finishing their lunch, rather later than expected due to their unexpected make-out session, and Miranda was thrilled by Andréa's claim it was the best thing she'd eaten in a long time. She watched enraptured as the brunette used a piece of cornbread to mop up the small amount of chilli from the bottom of the bowl before popping it into her mouth and humming.
"Tell me about Caroline?" Andréa asked.
The gentle question caught Miranda's off guard and she frowned as she pushed her empty bowl away. "She wasn't overly thrilled by the Page Six coverage this morning, and rather than listening to me when I advised it was innocent, decided it was a suitable option to be rude instead. As punishment, I have taken her cellphone and iPad off her." She explained. Seeing the unease in Andréa's eyes, she sighed once more. "She will simply have to learn to accept any changes we wish to implement in our relationship. I will not hide you away as if I am ashamed."
"What's her issue?" Andréa asked. "I thought she liked–" She ran her fingers through her bangs nervously. "–doesn't she like me?" She queried, her eyes expressed the hurt she felt.
"I don't know," Miranda admitted. "From what I gathered this morning, she believes it will be an embarrassment to all involved." She kept her tone light. "She mentioned the age difference, in as much as she advised me to play with someone my age."
"She seriously said that?" Andréa looked aghast before forcing her face back into its usual relaxed countenance. She shook her head. "Maybe we should forget–"
"No!" Miranda heard the slight note of panic held in the emphatic denial and moderated her tone. "No, don't say that." She amended. "Don't say we should leave this, that we should forget–" She exhaled. "–please, Andréa." She stood and moved around the table until she was beside the other woman. "Caroline may need time to adjust, to see that this is something that makes me happy and when she does, she will come around, darling."
"I make you happy?" Andréa looked delighted by the admission.
Miranda rolled her eyes and leaned in so her breath tickled Andréa's ear. "Cock-a-hoop." She smirked as the little breathy giggle Andréa let loose. "When I am with you, I feel like I'm finally close to having what my soul has yearned for all along." Her hand wound into the long, silken brown tresses. "I have remained patient, you cannot say I haven't, but I needed for you to be ready for me."
"I've been ready for so long, Miranda." The words came out as a whimper as she wound her fingers more tightly into Andréa's hair and tugged her head back gently to search the expressive dark eyes.
"How long?" Miranda desperately wanted to know when this started for Andréa.
"Paris." Andréa breathed the name of the city out loud.
Miranda let go and found herself taking three quick steps back away from the woman, shaking her head in disbelief. "No!" She shook her head even more furiously. "No! You left." She accused, taking more steps back.
"I couldn't stay." Andréa stood and held her hands out entreatingly. "I needed this time, to work towards being worthy of you." She cried. "You didn't see me then, you didn't think of me except as–"
"Do not tell me what I did and did not do." Miranda was suddenly furious.
Since they had met again, she had worked hard to be softer with Andréa, to make things comfortable between them and to be the type of person who showed she supported her dreams and wanted to see her succeed. She had wanted to be the kind of person who would make sacrifices as long as it meant Andréa was happy. To find out that the effort she had put in was ostensibly unnecessary, to realise how much time had been wasted, angered her.
"Please, Miranda–" Andréa begged. "–just–please, let me explain."
How did she get here? Miranda wondered, her heart sinking. Her arms crossed defensively across her chest. "Go on."
"I loved you so much, even then." Tears flowed down Andréa's cheeks. "It hit me like a ton of bricks at the time so I walked away. I did so in the hope that, if it couldn't be me, then whoever entered your life would surround you with so much love, you would never question it." She sniffed. "I loved you enough to let you go because I believed I could never be what you wanted or needed, I was just your assistant and I had yet to discover who I was and I needed to work towards becoming the person I wanted to be. Your equal."
"And then?" Miranda questioned hoarsely.
"And despite my hopes for you, you didn't meet anyone new–" She swiped tears from her face. "–or if you did, they didn't stick. Then we reconnected, and my heart opened up to you, despite everything I did to try and stop it from happening. I started to live for those dinners and drinks when I would see you and was able to bask in your proximity."
Miranda felt herself softening slightly and swallowed all the previous anger she'd felt. Searching the brunette's eyes, she saw the truth and her arms fell from their defensive pose and she decided to speak truthfully. "I wanted to be a softer person, a better woman." She stated. "For you." She was surprised when the younger woman rushed at her and pulled her into a fierce embrace, pinning her arms at her sides. "Seeing you in these last months has easily become one of my favourite things, alongside spending time with my Bobbsey's." She admitted.
The front door opening and the thundering of feet on the foyer floor had Andréa pulling away and sniffing back her tears as she scrubbed her face with the palms of her hands.
Glancing at the younger woman, she understood without hesitation or doubt, that loving Andréa Sachs was worth every risk. It would be worth fighting for every single day. Stood before her, was an extraordinary woman who could reveal to her just how deeply she could love another adult, someone who had built a home for her within her beautiful heart.
"Mo-om." Caroline's wail tore through the foyer. "What the Hell have you done now? There's a bunch of vultures out front."
Cassidy entered the room and rolled her eyes dramatically at them. "Gird your loins, ladies. Hurricane Caroline is about to hit." She warned.
~x~
Andy paced the library floor, unsure of what to say to Caroline. After she asked Miranda to leave her and Caroline to talk alone, the editor had spirited Cassidy away quickly, with a fleeting glance over her shoulder and her eyes expressing her concern. The fact Miranda had left, rather than arguing the point, showed Andy that, despite her concerns, she trusted her to handle the situation. The last thing she wanted was to overstep and she and Miranda had not discussed how involved she would be with the twins.
"What do you want with her?" Caroline blurted.
Andy stopped pacing the room and gazed at the thirteen-year-old sat glaring at her from the sofa. "Just to care for her, Caroline." She sat down on the leather club chair and propping her elbows on her knees, rested her head in her hands. "I want her to be happy and to feel content, even on the hardest days." She looked up. "I am committed to that and towards building a relationship, for as long as your mom allows."
"Aren't you a little young?" Caroline scowled. "What are you, like twenty-four?" She queried.
"I've just turned twenty-eight," Andy stated.
"Mom's fifty-one," Caroline responded. "nearly fifty-two. That's nearly double your age."
"I know." Andy sighed and tried to explain her thoughts on the matter. "You know, age isn't that important when there's a connection, that spark of something that could easily turn to love, should you nurture it."
"Do you love her?" Caroline's arms crossed over her chest and her lips pursed. "You left her, and it made her sad." She accused.
The young girl looked very much like her mom and Andy had to bite back a smile. "It would be very unfair of me to tell you of my feelings before I've had the chance to tell your mom properly," Andy advised.
"But–" Caroline interjected.
"But to answer your question, there are many things I love about her," Andy stated. "I have already explained to your mom, my reasons for leaving, and hopefully she's forgiven that act of epic stupidity. My only excuse is, I was younger then, and I had things going on in my life, outside of my work for Runway, which I found overwhelming, including my feelings for her. I simply didn't know how to handle everything. But I've missed your mom, every day. I missed you an–"
Caroline jumped to her feet. "Liar." She pointed her finger accusingly. "You didn't even think of us. You left us without a word. You never called or emailed."
Andy was stunned by the outburst. "I didn't think it would be welcome. If I'd felt there was any kind of hope that you and Cassi still wanted me in your lives, I would have been there in a heartbeat." Andy began to cry. "I sent birthday and holiday cards to you both, to let you know I was still thinking of you. I left my cell number and email in each of them, leaving it up to you to write or text if you wanted, but I heard nothing from either of you."
"Oh," Caroline looked down and blushed. "I threw them away." She admitted. "That first night, after Paris, I was waiting for you and I saw mom hovering in the shadows. Then, when it was Emily who arrived with the book, she looked so sad and I swore I would hate you forever."
Andy sighed. "Hate is a strong sentiment, Care. It is an ugly thing to wear." Andy used the nickname hesitantly, unsure if Caroline would accept its use from her. "What do I have to do to prove that this is what I want? That I won't ever willingly leave again?"
Caroline shrugged, clearly unable to tell her. "I dunno." She mumbled. "Will you tell me why the vultures are circling outside? You sent mom off before she could answer."
"I asked your mom to leave before you said something further to piss her off and she took away more of your things." She shook her head and bit her lip nervously. She didn't want to lie to the girl and despite the electronics ban, she was sure to find out. "Your mom and I may have been snapped kissing," Andy admitted.
Caroline scrunched her face up. "Ewww." She groaned. "That's so embarrassing and it'll be all over Page Six and my friends–"
"Why do you worry about what people think or say?" Andy asked, interrupting the young girl.
"You're both old, and that's our mom, you know?" Caroline exclaimed.
"You said I was too young before." Andy shrugged. "So tell me this, would it be okay if it wasn't your mom?" She asked. "Say it was Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson you saw all over Page Six making out, would you still be grossed out?"
"No, of course not. But that's different." Caroline declared.
"How?" Andy hid a small grin.
"Because it's not mom." Caroline exploded.
"If I promise we'll be more discreet, and keep the kissing to–" Andy shrugged. "–I dunno–" She smiled widely. "–this room or your mom's study, would you try to accept this change and be happy for your mom?"
"Why do you even have to do that?" Caroline complained.
"It's a way of showing affection, Care. A way of telling someone special, without words, that you cherish them. A healthy relationship needs kissing, snuggling, shoulder rubs and hand-holding." Andy explained. "I realise it might not be something you are used to seeing, but it's perfectly normal when you care for someone or are attracted to them." She smiled across at the little girl. "In any adult relationship, there will always be things that the children involved have no idea about, but a hug, the holding of hands, or a quick kiss, those are the things they might see that show there's love."
"What is it that you like about her?" Caroline asked. "She's so–so–difficult. Dad and Stephen both said so."
"She's not that difficult." Andy laughed a little when she saw the surprise in Caroline's eyes. "You know, when I first started working at Runway, I remember thinking your mom was so ridiculously absurd, but she's a genius and I began to enjoy that side of her. personality. It challenged me."
"I recently read genius and madness go hand in hand." Caroline grinned and Andy found herself returning it.
"You know, you and your mom are so alike." Andy declared, chuckling a little.
"We are not " Caroline scoffed in disbelief.
"Oh, you are and it's not a bad thing, Care. Your mom is one of the greatest people I know." Andy told her gently.
"She is?" Caroline queried, softening slightly.
"Yeah. She's insanely intelligent, beautiful and driven." Andy grinned when her thoughts returned to the woman they were discussing, remembering the softness of her hair and the warmth of her skin. "She's amazing."
"Sheesh, you have it so bad," Caroline grumbled.
Andy's smile widened further. "I know, right?" She stood and took a few steps to sit beside Caroline before taking her hand. "You know, when the time's right, I hope you find a love calms you but also drives you wild. They'll be your home and your adventure but also be the one that forgives your little mistakes," Andy told her. "They will see you make them but then help you to learn from them. It will be the person who sees you at your worst and still thinks you're wonderful. What you'll learn is that no one's perfect, but the right person will look at you like you're the best thing that's ever happened to them, flaws and all. They'll make you want to be the best version of yourself you can be."
"What do you hope for you and mom?" Caroline asked, sliding slightly closer. "Be honest."
"I think she might be the best thing to have happened to me, Care." Andy pulled the redhead close and hugged her. "So I hope I can fall in love with her family too and have them love me, and that we can create a beautiful life together." She admitted honestly.
Caroline started to sob. "I'm sorry." She hiccupped. "I'll try to ignore what everyone says and be supportive, but you have to promise not to abandon us again."
That word, abandon, hit Andy hard. She felt her breath leave her body as if she'd been punched in the chest. she pulled Caroline closer. "I promise." She husked. "I will not willingly leave again."
Caroline snuggled into Andy's shoulder. "I've missed you, Andy."
"Oh God, I've missed you too." Andy breathed, wrapping the girl up tightly in her arms and lifting her easily onto her lap and burying her face into her red hair. "So much."
~x~
Miranda heard every word between Andréa and Caroline. She knew eavesdropping was rather rude, but she had been concerned since Caroline could often be blunt and overly critical.
Very much like her.
Knowing of Andréa's feelings, from her words to her and Caroline, she felt enormously relieved. She knew she would return the sentiments as honestly as she was able, as soon as practical. It would be intolerable to hold back and potentially lose her.
Leaning against the wall outside her library, she allowed her thoughts to travel to the beautiful woman holding her daughter as if she was the most precious thing in the world.
'I hope I'll be the love that never hurts you, that I never have to hurt you and cause you to walk away. I hope I never have to know what it's like to live without you again. I want to be your forever love, your best friend, your most boisterous laugh, your largest smile.'
Nigel had recently pointed out that she was already Andréa's number one fan. This claim was made after meeting to discuss Runway business one Sunday and upon him finding the rather large scrapbook which lived on the table of her home office. The scrapbooking had started when Andréa joined the Mirror and she had subscribed to the paper. She had taken cuttings of every article Andréa that held the woman's by-line, watching her growth and taking a great delight in it.
She recognised it needn't be a secret anymore. She could show her pride in the beautiful woman who held her heart, she could support her dreams and, if allowed, help her achieve them.
Miranda understood there would be challenges. Her relationship with Stephen was proof of that, and the relationship she had with her first husband, James, was often conflicted, as Andréa was also aware after her time as her assistant. They often clashed over his lackadaisical attitude towards parenting the twins while she had spent the past thirteen years putting her beautiful babies first. The one thing that worried her was that she was fairly certain James may attempt to interfere in her life once Page Six found out who Andréa was, he may even threaten to take her Bobbsey's. He would be unsuccessful though, as he had been in his previous attempts.
She was, first and foremost, a mother to two very exuberant girls. That wasn't to say she couldn't put the effort into a relationship with Andréa. She would not use her obligation to her Bobbsey's as a justification to put less effort into their relationship, as she had done in her relationship with Stephen and various others over the years.
She was aware, wanting things to work out, she would take the time needed to nurture their relationship. It wasn't that she expected Andréa to become a second parent to Cassidy and Caroline, although if she did, that would be a bonus. But she would allow her the freedom to set boundaries as she needed, as she had done that day. She would not allow her to feel disrespected by her children or anyone else for that matter.
Hearing the slight creak of the door opening, Miranda straightened up and caught Caroline's eyes, offering her a small, gentle smile. "Are you okay, Bobbsey?" She asked.
"I will be." Caroline sniffed and stepped into her personal space before burrowing her face into her chest and wrapping her arms around her waist. "I think she loves you." She mumbled.
"I think so too, Caroline," Miranda ran her fingers through the tangle of thick red hair.
Caroline pulled back and looked up at her, narrowed her eyes and glared. "That alone makes her different to the others." She insisted. "You can't screw this up, mother."
"I can promise to try," Miranda stated. "You know, I'm proud of you, Caroline. Being your mom has been one of the greatest gifts in my life."
"I know," Caroline smirked. "Can we have pizza for dinner?" She asked.
"We can." Miranda readily agreed, causing Caroline to whoop and hug her again. "If you like, we can eat at Serafina Always?"
"Mm, their spaghetti squash is the best thing ever," Andréa spoke from the doorway and Miranda glanced towards her.
"Are you coming too, Andy?" Caroline asked.
"Only if you want me to," Andréa answered hesitantly.
"It's fine with me." Caroline shrugged. "I'll go tell Cassi." She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss on Miranda's cheek. "Love you, mom." She charged off towards the stairs, her small feet thundering up them. "Cassi, we're eating out." She shrieked.
Miranda took the two steps until she was stood in front of the impossible woman who held her heart. She took her left hand and raising it, turned it and placed a kiss on her wrist. "Thank you, my darling." She smiled up at the brunette. "Now, can you ice skate?"
Andréa nodded. "Yeah, after a fashion." She smiled brightly.
Miranda returned her smile. "I thought, after dinner, we might wander over to the Wollman Rink."
~x~