"You know, Detective, that bullet is going to put a hole in my hat."
"Shut up."
Chun Li Xiang had never been this close before, pressing the barrel of her gun against the underside of Lord M. Bison's jaw. In seconds, the combined efforts of Interpol, the American military, and MI6 would devastate his base. A year had gone into planning this encounter, and it was finally coming together like the perfect puzzle.
Three days of staking out in the jungle and avoiding traps that swallowed up men. Breaking into a base that sounded the alarm as the air backup roared up their engines to take down the monster once and for all.
Victory never tasted so sweet, but it came at a price. She was the last one of her team left, doggedly surviving the hardest blasts and vicious counterattacks. All to lead her here. To Bison himself, in his own throne room and under the enormous bust of his face.
Revenge. She had lied to herself for so long. It was always about revenge. Dorai's death would not be dishonored for another day. Chun Li would not allow the disgrace to continue.
To Bison, however, it was another Tuesday. He didn't seem concerned when Chun Li broke open the doors of his elegant hallway, ordering him to surrender or be riddled with bullets. Bison didn't even seem mad that she had figured out a way to predict his teleportation, aiming her Hosenka at the right time.
Now they were standing against each other, her pistol tight against his bone. In a second, Chun Li could pull the trigger and blow his face clean off. Something that a vain person like Bison would detest in the long run. It was a pity that Chun Li did not give the man an inch; for someone who had 'handsome' written across his magnificent body, it would be a tragedy to have his body torn to pieces.
Her other hand clenched the pressed fabric of the dictator's jacket. Every second counted. He couldn't escape again. But as though Chun Li had him on the ropes, Bison was treating her like an amusing little kitten that wandered in his home.
"Detective, a Beretta? If I'm going to go, I would rather not go out with some Italian trash." Bison said, feeling her press harder. "If you have another gun that's more appropriate, I'll wait."
"You're under arrest."
"Oh, darling, you know how to turn a man on with those words." His taunts were beckoning. "Are you going to list all of my crimes? I committed some new ones before breakfast."
Chun Li refused to let him get to her. In minutes, it wouldn't matter anyway. He would be dead, arrested, or both. Where were the damn forces? She had gotten over her team to get here, surely by now—
"I bet you're wondering where your friends are." Bison pretended to guess, seeing her face fall. "You know, I'll tell you if you get that piece of junk from under my chin. I worked hard on that, you know."
Don't fall for it. Don't fall for it. He was lying. He was getting at her. Everything was leading up to this. Chun Li cocked it, making him shrug.
"As much as I like you this close, dear Detective, I am getting a bruise."
In a split second, before she could pull the trigger, Bison faded away in a flash of psychic aura. Her bullet went through a tendril of purple smoke, ricocheting off the ceiling and embedding into the metal accents of his throne room.
Chun Li repositioned her gun, fear now running down her veins. However, Bison reappeared in front of her in full flesh and bone. He crossed his arms, smug about his superiority, before cocking his head towards the door.
"If you had knocked, Detective, I would have been happy to open." His thick, amused tone coiled around her fear. "I would have let you shoot me, too. I know how happy that makes you."
"You are not getting away from me." Chun Li's statement was fierce, driving her towards his presence. "You will not make a fool of us again."
"Fool of you. There wasn't anyone else getting that close to me."
Another cock. "Fuck you."
"Give it a day. Detective. I told you before. If you can't play with guns nicely, I have to take them away."
A powerful force ripped her Beretta pistol from her hands, flinging towards his head. In no effort, he caught the gun and threw it towards the statues. Chun Li watched her last defense fly into F.A.N.G's marbled nose and bounce off into a vent.
Bison extended his hands out. "Let's start over. Welcome to my throne room! I can have drinks brought up. Still enjoy a good cranberry vodka, my darling?"
Why did this man have to be insufferable and powerful? Bison had all the power in the free world, but he had to be so damn arrogant about it. Everything was a passing joke to him, tempered by his tolerance for it.
If Ryu were here, he would have gone straight to a fight. Even Ken! But no, it was Chun Li. He took the sweet time to devour her patience and frustration. Like dangling a piece of fish to a starving, feral cat.
Obvious that Bison cared nothing for treating women as equals; Chun Li was his plaything for an hour before attending proper business with other men that were satisfactory headaches.
Bitter now that she had to die after being toyed with, Chun Li got into a fighting stance. A visible, smug eye-roll from the Shadaloo leader as he gestured towards his seat of honor at the head of the room.
"Cute. May I sit? I faced Death right in the eyes. I think I'm still shaking. Care to follow?"
"I refuse to let you bully me. Send your enforcers or Dolls or whoever you want. You will not stop me from finishing my mission." Chun Li held her to convictions, refusing to break away from his eyes.
Bison, however, motioned to the door. "I gave them the day off."
"You…" Chun Li dropped her stoic nature in an aggravated tone. "Stop this at once! You will not—"
"They really have the day off, my dear. Did you not notice some well-heeled bodyguards not fly out of rafters? Or some hot-shot boxer barrel your face through a metal door? Even F.A.N.G would have jumped out of my ass, I would figure." Bison interrupted her, watching her blink in puzzlement. "It's a holiday today. They're not working."
Her mouth set hard. "And you?"
"I'm not working either. You caught me in an off-period. It's my birthday and I want to celebrate it." He said, watching her glare. "Am I not allowed to have a day off? Or a birthday?"
Chun Li was not buying it. Birthdays? For a man that was obsessed with world domination? Unless it was a parade down the earth's equator, he wouldn't care otherwise.
"Then why is your base guarded?"
"The higher ups get the holidays off while the peons work, Detective. You know that."
Why was she entertaining this? One Kikoken and this battle could get going. Chun Li put her palms together before Bison fished something from his pocket. It was a transmitter beeping every minute, as her face drew to it.
"Detective. Don't make me blow up three government branches. I wanted a quiet birthday. You settle down and I'll let your forces go back to plotting my downfall. But if you continue to persist, I'll pencil in the fireworks." Bison threatened with a smile on his face. "You know your backup should have come by now. So there's legitimacy to my words, darling."
Chun Li frowned, frustrated by her limitations. Bison killed people for bringing him the wrong coffee creamer. Murdering throngs of armed personnel was nothing to him. He'd chalk it up to a busy day. The dictator could twist her head off and lament about staying late to clean up the blood.
She dropped her fists. "I suppose I'm not entitled to that."
"Neither are your teammates who broke into my base, but I'm sure they're dead."
"Bastard."
"You broke into my home and I'm the bastard?" His words sliced through her. "You could have stayed in bed and avoided all this. But I'm glad you didn't. A beautiful woman wanting to speak to me on my birthday is a godsend. Don't you think?"
Another mention of this birthday. Bison was angling for her to ask, so Chun Li would avoid the topic. Her eyes darted over the statues, wondering if her gun had plummeted to Hades.
"Did the gun crack the marble?" She asked, feigning ignorance. "You threw it hard."
"Detective. I have places to be. Let's move this along." Bison made a circular motion with his forefinger. "Unless, of course, you want to sit with me. I could spare a few minutes for that. I'll describe that desire in detail. You, in your little police uniform, sitting right on my—"
"Fine! What's this about a birthday?" Chun Li cut him off, pissed that she played into his hands again. "You never cared for that before."
His eyebrow cocked. "How do you know that? Do you stalk my every move?"
Chun Li could feel her tongue vibrate from fury, wishing she could lash out at him and wipe that stupid smirk off his face. Bison took his time drowning in her emotions, watching every tremble of her body with great interest.
"I do like beautiful women stalking me." His joke added a layer to her pissed off attitude. "Anyway. I celebrate my birthday. Why would I not? It has everything to do with me. That's right up my alley."
"Why are you telling me this? Was I the gift you wanted delivered?"
"Heavens, no!" Bison was a little too dramatic for that. "You, Detective Xiang, on my doorstep? I wouldn't—"
"Drop the act." Chun Li now wished he destroyed her. "Are you going to kill me and my team or what?"
He crossed towards her, as if he was ready to circle her and eat the flesh from her vulnerable body. There was a predatory element to Bison's gait, causing Chun Li to stiffen as he tried to come closer to her. Was there something else he wanted instead of her stiff corpse—a warm body to abuse and break down?
"I'll kill your team, Detective, if you're so eager to be rid of them. But you? No. I guess I will be generous and let you go. Let you try again in six months. If Interpol doesn't arrest you first." Bison remarked, watching her harden her defenses.
"Why would they? You—"
"You come back without a single scratch on you and your team is dead? Why wouldn't they be suspicious? I have long arms, my dear, and it wouldn't be a stretch to assume…" He trailed off, letting her fill in the blanks.
Another break. He was getting to her. "You can't."
"Two minutes ago, I held the lives of three contained forces in the palm of my hand. What makes you think I would not get you?" Bison reminded her, winking. "We'll have fun, darling, watching your life crumble."
The bargain. He was working towards some bargain, some deal to sign her life away. Chun Li prepared for the worst—Doll Program, sex slavery, hapless servant in a French maid costume—before Bison caught her chin in his grip. She wanted to wiggle loose but forced her nerves to calm down.
"If you—" He snaked his hand around her face, "Escort me for my birthday, I'll let all of your little friends go scot-free. I'll send them back to Interpol, and you can follow along after with whatever story you cooked up. That's a fair trade, wouldn't you say? Especially kind, since you busted up my base."
Chun Li would give anything to smack him across the face. Bastard, she couldn't say it enough. What was all this about? Bison had never shown a great or deep appreciation for something so normal. What was he up to?
"What about me?"
"What about you?" A grin simmering with mischievous delight. "Ah. Quid pro quo. I like that quality in a lady. Why, I think you'd make a fabulous commander. I always said that Shadaloo needs a woman's touch—mine, if Killer Bee hadn't run off or—"
The detective's head spun. Bison was the living embodiment of 'the gift of gab'. Why a megalomaniac like him couldn't wrap it up like this was beyond Chun Li. Other villains were happy to make dramatic speeches and get on with it. Not Bison.
"Bison, I don't want to be near you unless you're handcuffed to an electric chair." Chun Li interrupted, her tone slick with apathy. "And I don't care if it was your mother's birthday. You're not this easy. If you were so taken by surprise by my arrival, why did you contain the forces so easily?"
"If you want handcuffs to play on my birthday night, be my guest." Her captor motioned to her belt, making her huff. "And my people are just that damn good. But I am being very generous right now. Let's see. A shipment of three hundred boxes of ammunition came in today. How many boxes will I need to use on your friends?"
Her face fell, "Don't."
"And I shouldn't because…?"
Chun Li swallowed. How long would it take for her to wish to be back in this situation? An hour? Would she survive long enough to regret this?
"I'll... I'll be your escort. For today." A cold, intentional avoidance of the word 'birthday' so distance was there. "I want them safe, Bison. And I want to remain alive. No tricks or wordplay."
"Done." Bison snapped his fingers. "As always, your wish is my command."
Chun Li rubbed her wrists, feeling the wobble in her legs as she straightened up. Bison took off his hat and gave a deep, sardonic bow as she stepped towards him.
"My lady."
"Save it." Chun Li snapped, thicker in hate than she wanted. "Tell it to your wife."
"Find one for me?" Bison winked, making her roll her eyes.
Maybe when he blows out the birthday candles, he'll wish to be dead.
x
Shadaloo did not appear any different, even with their prominent leader's birthday. People still ran around handling evil schemes and taking part in criminal activity. No balloons or praises of an off-key "Happy Birthday" song. Not even a passing "Good day, Lord Bison!" to him.
"I'm guessing we're the only two celebrating this national holiday." Chun Li commented, trying to gauge Bison's chipper attitude. He seemed upbeat. But she was leery of any criminal mastermind who took a positive attitude. Bison fed off misery, after all.
"I don't like big parties." He claimed, making her drop her icy stare for a snort.
"Bullshit."
"I enjoy being the center of big parties. I don't like them thrown in my honor." Bison clarified, tapping on a keypad. "Parties are a hassle to plan. Inviting people, food, decorations, throwing out the occasional double agent into a vat of acid...it's a difficult hobby."
Chun Li glanced at the shuffling scientists and guards. "You have people to do it for you."
"Yes, but they never do it right. No loving touch or appreciation for all I do. I should get a wife who enjoys throwing and hosting parties." He said, perking up as if the thought struck him. "A beautiful wife who loves and adores me while spoiling me on my special day. Wouldn't that be divine, Detective?"
Her lip curled. "For some unfortunate, stupid woman."
Bison chuckled, opening a door. "Maybe you can give me her as a gift. You still have to get one, you know."
Chun Li's jaw slid open as her eyes burned in fury.
"A gift?! I have to give you a birthday present?!" Her snarl grew in volume with every word, flinging her anger into his face. "You never said that! I never had to…!"
"It is my birthday." He reminded her, cutting through her tone. "It's customary. I wouldn't do that to you on your birthday."
Chun Li darkened at the thought of this terrible man handing her a cheesy, corny wrapped box with a crummy present inside. If Bison thought she had a gift somewhere on her, he was in for a rude awakening.
"There are no stores. I don't even know what you like." She countered. "I couldn't get you a gift even if I wanted to."
Bison mused, tapping his finger on his cheek. "You're right. Hm. I suppose I can come with a suitable alternative for the both of us. Let me think it over. But right this way, dear. To change for our outing."
"We're...we're not staying on…?"
"No. I spend every other day here. Why would I spend my birthday here too? Do you spend your birthday at the office? I bet you do, actually."
Chun Li felt her stomach twist. This was too suspicious now. Off-base and hanging off Bison's arm? For an entire day? Alone? He could throw her in a random river in some god-forsaken place at the end of the world, and they would never find her.
"Where are we going? How long? When are we coming back?" Her questions were rapid fire. Bison shrugged.
"Wherever I feel like, however long I feel like, and whenever I feel like it."
This was too long of a day.
x
Bison producing a beautiful dress from nowhere was the tipping point for her.
"Why is this dress fitted perfectly for me?" Chun Li demanded as an assistant was fixing her hem. "Why would your military base, filled with nuclear weapons and chemical gases, be housing a dress?"
Bison was leaning against a wall, tickled at her question. "It was for one of my Dolls. They have reasons to wear clothes that would blend into a crowd."
"None of them have the same bust or waist size I do." Her accusation was air-tight. "You tailored this for me. It even looks new! You're up to something. Something terrible."
"Oh, yes, Detective. I forget that all my evil schemes start out this way: a beautiful woman in a beautiful dress." Bison teased. "Why, I could walk into the U.N building right now and take it by storm. Though, you'd be quite the distraction, I imagine."
Chun Li glared at the reflection, seeing his grin in the background. Why else would he have this outfit? In her favorite colors, no less? A sleeveless blue and gold sundress with a floral chiffon overlay, stopping right at her knees. One touch of pearls and a hint of heels to put her right in the business of romance and attraction.
"I know you're lying." She grumbled, trying to not think about the inevitable stares. "I know you are."
"Yet, you love it." He said, watching her falter. "You can be a little vain, Detective. I won't tell a soul."
Maybe Chun Li was a smidge. For a previous trek in the Brazilian jungle, she cleaned up nicely. A hot shower, followed by a wardrobe, change into something light and pretty. Expensive makeup that matched her skin tone and acted like air on her face.
"Why is my makeup a perfect match to my skin?" Another accusation, just to seem impudent.
"I'm sure it was a coincidence. I own several cosmetic companies." Bison suggested, seeing her glare again. "Just for show, they do make products. Must have made your shade. But, my. You look ravishing, Detective Xiang. A spectacular birthday awaits me."
Chun Li was glad she had the foundation to cover up her redness. She assumed it was the heat and nothing more.
x
For a tyrannical, evil, megalomaniac dictator, Bison had taste. His jet was beautiful, like a floating mansion in the sky. Chun Li was sure she had apartments that were smaller than his soaring fortress.
Decked out to handle the most audacious uprisings, it also featured luxury comfort like no other. A full bar, bedroom, sitting area, and medical bed for the pesky, random fights. Bison preferred style over practical use for his transportation.
"Your jet must require enough gasoline to power China." Chun Li said, fidgeting with her drink. It didn't smell off, but that wasn't a good sign.
"It's solar powered." Bison corrected her, pouring out another bourbon. "Backup electric generators as well."
Disbelief. "It is not. Then other people would have something similar."
"Oh, yes, because all the rich people have such a vested interest in preserving the environment." He said, now chuckling at her naive statement. "Besides. I'm a genius, my dear. The fickle little oil problem would mess up my operations. Sun, wind, and water are free; as if I wouldn't take it."
Chun Li stared out the window, seeing the sky whizz pass. No wonder Interpol could never find any suppliers that could locate his jet. He was the supplier. It made sense; Bison wouldn't want anyone to hold him over a barrel if he had to make a quick getaway.
"It's still gaudy and overdone." She said, passing off her amazement as churlish. "There's no need for any of this."
Bison shrugged. "When have you known me to be unimpressive?"
True again. Even now, out of his usual uniform, he still looked powerful and worthy. Chun Li turned her head towards the emergency exit to hide her redness, sucking down more of her drink. She might have to be drunk to stop ogling him.
If having a king-sized bed on a plane was any indication, he was one dedicated member of the Mile High Club.
"It's more like to you to keep everything to yourself, like a selfish child." Chun Li said, trying to think of another topic that didn't stroke his ego. "You could fix climate change and pollution in a day. You chose not to, because it doesn't benefit you."
"I disagree. Taking over the world is my way of giving back." Bison countered, leaping at the chance to debate her. "I can fix the problems and people would be happier. Provided, of course, they obey."
"There's no happiness in slavery, Bison."
"There's happiness in ignorance of being a slave, my darling."
Chun Li could feel his smile grate her nerves. Putting the empty glass back on the bar, she settled on the barstool as her dress fell around her seat. Crossing her legs, she decided to give into his need to fight.
"Nobody would be happy to have their humanity taken away." She proclaimed, set in her knowledge of worldly values. "Oppressors have no justice; they only have a bottom line. Even if you were the most altruistic of us all, you would still choose yourself over thousands."
Now Bison was enthused. "I expect things to be my way. I know what's best. If sacrifices and blood must be made, then it will be made. But humanity would be better for it. Cut off a limb to save the body, Detective."
"How many limbs are you going to cut off, Bison?"
"As many as needed, my darling. Humanity fucked it up royal; a lot will have to be taken."
Sociopath. Chun Li rolled her eyes, propping her chin up. "I would be dead than a slave."
"I agree. You would not be happy as a slave. True queens never are."
That stopped her. What did that mean? True queen, he proclaimed. Affectionate, even, as if he was saying she was his queen. Chun Li found her mind embroiled in despair and confusion, reading off her face plain as day.
Bison set his drink next to hers, leaning against the bar. "Something the matter?"
"This whole thing is the matter." Stubborn, peckish as Chun Li could muster. "What is your game, Bison? Impress me with your toys before I die? Humiliate me by making me escort you as a slight on my father?"
"Not exactly. I am a simple man. Beautiful woman on my arm and getting all of her death stares is enough for me." The Shadaloo leader said, musing a bit further. "Maybe if it ends on a good note as well."
Chun Li could gag. "You're not that charming, Bison. Even if you were, I would rather jump out of this plane."
Now his grin stretched, making him wink. "Is there an opportunity to change your mind?"