August

Remus Lupin hadn't wanted to go away for school. He'd planned on attending the community college down the road, staying near to his mother, and keeping his job as an ad hoc librarian on the side. He'd only even applied to out-of-state schools to make his mother happy—"you've got to at least aspire to something outside this town, Remus," she'd said. And he did, honestly, but his aspirations lay in reading aloud from an alcove in a cozy cottage in the countryside, or staying up until the wee hours of the morning typing away on his laptop to fill out a plotline. Those sorts of dreams didn't need a Big School education, they just needed an education.

His mother thought he was selling himself short, but after an adolescence spent in and out of hospitals, full of blood tests and prescriptions and various treatments, Remus had come to appreciate the mundane. All he needed was to get a degree. Nothing fancy, nothing special, just ordinary college credits to qualify him for proper work. Then he'd move out of his mother's place and find himself an apartment and take work as a copyeditor, or a paralegal, or a court reporter, or...well, he hadn't quite figured out that bit yet, just that he'd find some job.

With his life planned out in such hazy certainty, the only thing Remus had been sure of when he began applying to schools was that he wouldn't be going far from his mother, which he was quite happy about. Because of this, when his mother slid a letter addressed from Princeton, New Jersey across the dinner table, Remus nearly dropped his glass of water. He'd gotten in. Somewhere between his personal statement about growing up in a single-parent household while battling cancer and his portfolio of short stories, they'd determined that he was a good candidate for their school. Not just a good candidate, Remus thought as he swapped the sheets to read the financial statement offering him a near-full scholarship, a great one.

That was how Remus found himself stretching his legs in slight discomfort as his mother parked their car, fresh out of a 14-hour road trip. He looked up at the Gothic style architecture and sighed. Remus was excited to start classes, but not so much so that he was ready to leave the peace and quiet of the midwest. He counted at least 12 overly-excited upperclassmen in neon orange shirts and cringed after speaking to one about where the dorm was located. He'd hoped to interact with as few people as possible today, outside of his three roommates and his mother. Speaking of, his phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to see that she had texted before making his way back to the lot.

Hope Lupin was leaning against the car when Remus arrived. She'd had Remus young, and were it not for a few gray hairs that had only recently begun to spring from her reddish hair, she'd have fit right in as a graduate student or young professor. Her lithe figure seemed dwarfed by the shadows of the ancient-looking buildings, and for a moment, Remus thought about what this time in her life had looked like. She'd met his father when she was 17, he knew, married him at 21, and had Remus at 22. She didn't talk about those years much, Remus assumed because they were too tainted by memories of her former husband. Leaving their family empty handed when Remus was still a toddler hadn't endeared him to either of the remaining Lupins, and despite being told that he was a "spitting image of his father," Remus hadn't gotten much more from his mother about the man. Until now, apparently.

"You look just like your father at this age," Hope sighed, "it's uncanny, really."

Remus smiled gently. "So I've been told."

His mother slung an arm around his waist and guided him towards the car trunk to grab his belongings. "Such bean poles, you Lupin men," she shook her head. "Your father studied English too, did you know that?"

Remus looked at her curiously. "No, I didn't," he said. "I'd always assumed he studied business or economics or something else that convinced him we were a sunk cost. English though? Wouldn't have pegged that."

His mother sent a mildly disapproving look his way before grabbing his bedsheets and speaking again. "He was. He pored over classics, wrote short stories in his free time, read aloud to me by the fireplace in our house when we were your age—all the usual ways to seduce a woman."

"God, if that's how you seduce women, I suppose that I'm doomed as a queer creative writing student."

Mrs. Lupin quirked a smile at him, "I didn't say I was the only one he managed to seduce, Reg. You'll be just fine, always have been."

"Reg? What am I, 12? Next you'll be calling me RJ like I'm in kindergarten again." Remus shot back.

His mother gave him a gentle smack on the arm before closing the trunk. "Not my fault you decided to get old. You had one job, kiddo, forgive me for wishing you hadn't grown up so fast."

Remus blushed as he slung his backpack over his shoulder, grabbed his suitcase, and turned towards his residence hall. His mother followed quietly behind him and the two stopped at a reception desk to receive a key, before trekking up four flights of stairs and arriving at room 412. Construction paper name tags were hung on the door: James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. At least I won't have the strangest name in the group, Remus mused with a quiet chuckle as he tried to control his diaphragm.

"All good, Remus?" his mother offered up quietly as her son caught his breath at the doorway. Even three years out from his last treatments, Hope was cautious with him, and it was one thing Remus was eager to leave behind. He sighed.

"Fine, mom. Just want to be ready for conversation in case my roommates are already here." He shot a reassuring look back at his mother before slotting the key into the lock and turning it. The dormitory had a common room, outfitted with a couch, two chairs, a coffee table, and a television. A multi-colored blanket was haphazardly thrown over the back of the couch, cluing Remus in to the fact that at least one of his roommates had been there. Based on the slightly ajar door with a sign reading "James and Peter" on it, it was one of those two. He turned around and motioned for his mother to follow him in, and the two made their way to the door on the right, its deep green "Remus and Sirius" sign hanging askew. Remus knocked out of courtesy, and, hearing no response, turned the doorknob.

The room was an average size. The two beds were situated on opposite walls, with two small chests of drawers under each bed. Two small closets were positioned across from each other in an alcove-like space at the back of the room, a window between them with a cushioned seat beneath it. Opposite the closets were two tall dressers, side by side, and a desk sat at the foot of each bed. It was nice, Remus decided. He was especially excited about the cushioned seat by the window—he predicted a good many afternoons curled up with a blanket and re-reading his favorite books. After surveying it and giving a nod of approval, Remus walked in properly, his mother behind him. The two spent a half hour unpacking and arranging his things—Did Remus have enough shampoo? Did he want his first edition of The Hound of the Baskervilles on his desk, or did he want to get a bookshelf?—before Hope took a cursory glance around the room and sighed.

"You need some decoration, the walls in here are terribly boring," she remarked while scratching her scalp gently. Remus recognized his own nervous tic in his mother and smiled a bit. She'd fully realized the whole "my only child is going halfway across the country" business and her anxiety was kicking into high gear. Remus was familiar with the feeling.

"It is a dormitory, it's not meant to be that exciting, you know," he replied, turning to face her fully. "But I might get some photos or posters for the walls to make it feel more homey, if that makes you feel any better."

His mother smiled, but her lips wavered, and Remus barely had a moment's notice before she'd taken two steps to meet him in the middle of the room and grab onto his arms tightly. He looked down and saw tears in her eyes and felt his heart swell with love for the woman who'd raised him, weathering storms that no one could've predicted with a grace and strength that few could've mustered, always with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. She looked away from his gaze and removed a hand from his arm to swipe a tear from her eye. Remus waited for her to compose herself before he pulled her into a fierce hug.

"You'll make sure to take your medicine every day?" she murmured into his shirt. He huffed quietly.

"Yes, mom."

"And you'll call Dr. Smythe if anything feels strange, or uncomfortable?"

"Yes, mom."

"And you'll call me if you don't feel well, emotionally, I mean?"

"Mom, I'll be alright. I promise you." Hope leaned her face into his chest and squeezed him tighter.

"You're a good boy, Remus Lupin. You're going to do an amazing job here."

Remus laughed. "So you've been telling me. Just don't expect me to come home and be the next F. Scott Fitzgerald, alright?"

His mother laughed and released him. "C'mon Nick Carraway, my parking spot is only good for another ten minutes." Remus rolled his eyes before following his mother down the stairs, chuckling. The walk back to the parking lot was full of quips about tigers and New Jersey—"I'm warning you, they're all terrible drivers, kiddo. Wouldn't trust any of them behind the wheel."—until they arrived at the car.

Remus pushed his hands into his pockets as his mother turned the key in the ignition and stepped back out of the car to lean against it. Hope Lupin surveyed her son carefully. His 6'2" frame was slouched somewhat, but the hazel of his eyes bent green today—nervous, then. Despite the nerves his mouth was curved in a familiar smirk and Hope noticed that the curls of his dirty blond hair hung just a bit too long for her liking, and smiled. He'd grown up quite a bit in the last three years, and while she knew that she'd clung to every minute spent with him following his diagnosis, she was somehow shocked that they'd arrived at this moment. She suspected she'd always see him dually, as he was in the present and as he was when he'd lain too-still in a hospital bed at 7, and 12, and 15. She shuddered faintly.

"You've got two jobs while you're here, Remus. Two jobs, alright?"

Remus quirked an eyebrow up at her. "Oh?"

"I couldn't care less what your grades look like, okay? Those are important, but the notoriety of this name," she gestured to the campus, "it's more meaningful than any 'A' will ever be. So don't worry about those. That's your first job. Just focus on learning and writing."

"And the second?"

"I know you're all about the little things these days, but," Hope sighed dramatically and flung out her arms, "You're in college, live a little!"

"You're about to get in a car and drive 900 miles away from your only child and you're telling me to 'live a little,' mom? Is that really wise?" the corner of Hope's mouth pulled up at the end of the question.

"I trust you more than enough to think it a good idea. You deserve to have some part of your youth, even if it's come a bit later than it should've. Make some friends, live your life—be careful, of course—but enjoy yourself, alright? Everybody says college is the best four years of your life, and I won't pressure you into that, but I do want you to come out of this whole ordeal with some good memories. Can you do that for me?"

Remus rolled his eyes, expecting his mother to drop the facade, but when his gaze landed on her frame again, her expression was earnest. "You're being serious?"

"Remus, you've dealt with adulthood and the real world for far too long. I want you to be able to have fun for once," she intoned carefully. "Promise me you will?"

"I promise."

"Good boy, now give me a hug." Remus snorted and took easy steps towards his mother, leaning down a bit and pulling her into an embrace.

"I'm so proud of you, Remus. You have to know that," she mumbled into his neck as Remus stroked her head.

"I know, Mom. I know. I love you," and she was crying again. They stood there for a bit longer before Hope pulled away.

"I ought to get going if I'm to make it to Ohio by tonight. You'll be alright?"

Remus nodded. "I'll be alright."

"Good. I love you, Remus. Go have some fun."

"Love you too, Mom. I will."

Remus stood on the curb until he saw the car disappear around the bend before walking back towards his dormitory. He took his time going up the stairs this time, letting the feeling of solitude wash over him. It was unusual, he mused, to feel so alone when he'd only lost the presence of one person. He made his way into his still empty dorm, grabbed a novel off of his desk, and perched on the window seat with the book in his lap.

Make some good memories, huh? I'll do my best, Mom.

When Sirius Black's parents dropped him off unceremoniously on the Princeton campus, his first course of action was to figure out where the hell he was, and where he needed to go. His suitcase wasn't all that large, but after 30 minutes of dragging it uphill towards what appeared to be the center of campus in the heat of early August, he was exhausted. Sitting down on a bench near what looked like a student center, Sirius pulled out his phone to re-read the email with his housing information. A smile pulled at the corner of his lips when he saw the three missed messages from his brother.

10:00 AM — "Still mad that you guys flew down to New Jersey without me. It's not that long of a flight, and we ALL know Walburga and Orion have the funds for it. Whatever."

Sirius snorted. Regulus wasn't wrong, their parents had more than enough money to have flown him down with them. It wasn't about spending the money on Regulus, it was that in spending money on Regulus, they'd be indirectly endorsing Sirius' choice of school, which they were firmly against. He rolled his eyes before moving to the next message.

10:02 AM — "I know they're still pissed at you for choosing Princeton instead of carrying on the family legacy at Harvard, but I think that's bullshit. It's your life, not theirs. I'm still shocked that they thought you'd be willing to follow dad's footsteps and go into business. Honestly, have they even met you?"

Sirius smiled at the first half of the message. At least Regs is still on my side, that's worth something. But his brother's comment had truth in it. His parents had never been particularly thrilled about the path he was on, even when he was younger. Sirius knew he'd been a bit of a handful, but that's just how children were. But his parents disagreed, and he was told as much frequently. Everything had a place, and each of them had a role. If as much as a toe was out of line, well...Sirius didn't like to think about it much. When they'd found out he was gay, he'd been pulled out of school for a week to "visit family," according to his parents. Instead, Sirius had been grounded to his room while the bruises on his face and back healed, feeling legitimately scared of his parents for the first time in his life.

It hadn't been the first time they'd hit him, nor the last, but it was certainly the worst. Later, after he refused to recant his declaration of his sexuality, his parents found darkly clever ways to make hurtful insinuations and mocking jokes about his "lifestyle," as they put it. Veiled comments would turn to vitriol when they returned to the family home, and behind closed doors, Sirius would've sworn that his mother thought he was a criminal based on her treatment of him. That was part of the reason he'd been so dead set on attending some school, any school, that wasn't his parents' alma mater. As dramatic as it sounded, he couldn't bear to give them another aspect of his life to hold over him. 18 years of their rhetoric weighed too heavily on his shoulders, and even now, he wasn't fully convinced that he hadn't deserved some of the fury that had been directed at him.

He shook his head. At least when Regulus had come along, Sirius was able to shield him from some of their anger. His younger brother was the only reason he'd stayed sane in that house, he was sure of that. Regulus wasn't quite as... feisty as Sirius was. He'd learned early on when to shut his mouth, a trait that Sirius envied, and was largely ignored by their parents when they went on a tirade. Regulus was far more sensitive than his brother because of it, and Sirius couldn't be more pleased. He'd always thought that Regulus was too good for their family, too kind. His parents had their spite, that much was obvious, and Sirius...Sirius had his anger and his recklessness. But Regulus was kind and clever and good, somehow. Sirius grimaced as he thought about his baby brother being left with his parents. It's two more years, he just needs to get through two years, he kept reminding himself, but the sick feeling in his stomach didn't seem to accept that as sufficient reassurance.

10:05 AM— "Anyhow. I'm proud of you, just wanted to let you know that I am, no matter what they say. You're my favorite brother and I'm excited for you to finally move out and be independent. You're going to be amazing, because that's just who you are. (And as a bonus, it'll be a great 'fuck you' to M & D.) Love ya, S. See you in November."

Sirius grinned. He hadn't chosen Princeton exclusively to irritate his parents, but the fact that it did was the proverbial cherry on top of the rather obvious middle finger that he'd given them by choosing to study history and education instead of something more beneficial to the family business. He shot back a quick "Love you too Regs, see you soon," before shifting over to browse his emails. "Room 412...Roommates: James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin*." Sirius' gaze jumped to the bottom of the email to figure out what the asterisk meant. Ah, his actual roommate then. He wondered if his name sounded as ridiculous to his roommate as his roommate's did to him before deciding he should get a move on towards the student center.

20 minutes later saw Sirius pulling his suitcase with one hand as he tried to locate himself on the pamphlet map he'd been given with the other. After all his traversing across the campus, it turned out he'd been closer to his dorm before he came to find the student center. He sighed. It was times like this that he wished he'd gone to Harvard, at least he would've had people to commiserate with. Whatever. He was here now, wasn't he? He wondered as he looked up at the building where he'd be living for the next nine months. Taking a deep breath, he walked in.

After getting a key and making his way up what must have been a hundred steps, Sirius arrived at his dorm. It was getting close to lunchtime, and as he heard his stomach rumble Sirius suddenly realized that he hadn't eaten all day. Figuring he might as well eat after he set up his things, Sirius walked through the door. The common area was surprisingly spacious for a first-year dorm and based on the blankets and pillows thrown onto the couch, his suitemates were already here. He turned to find his room, door sign slightly uneven, and knocked before opening it and grinning.

His roommate—Remus, he reminded himself—had already moved in. A rather threadbare looking blanket had been placed on top of the boy's comforter, next to a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird and an unopened chocolate bar. Sirius was tempted to swipe the candy for himself, but restrained himself and looked around the rest of his roommate's things instead. The shelf above the desk was full of books, and Sirius could see a cloth bag hanging off of Remus' bed that had straight edges indenting the fabric and realized there were more novels that hadn't made the display. The email from Student Residence Services hadn't given much information about his roommates at all, so Sirius did his best to pull together a picture of what this Remus kid was like.

Books, most of which were used or second-hand versions. An olive green backpack hanging on the back of the desk chair with nothing in it yet (Sirius checked, just to be sure). As Sirius threw his suitcase open on the floor and took out his bedding, he caught a glimpse of a pair of shoes under his roommate's bed and slid them out gently. A white pair of converse with a small flag painted on the heel in pink, purple, and blue. Sirius smiled widely at that. At least he wouldn't have to deal with homophobia from this kid, he thought as he repositioned the shoes to make it seem as if he hadn't moved them. He finished setting up his bed and stood back to survey the room's setup. A piece of paper on his roommate's desk caught Sirius' eye when he did, and he opened it. It was a small card with a daisy on it, with a short note inside saying that the sender was "proud of him, but couldn't wait to see him again in October," signed by someone named "Jules". Maybe he's got a girlfriend, then?

When he turned to face his bed again, he noticed a sheet of paper on his own desk and walked over to read it.

"I wanted to leave a note here for you in case you started moving in while I was out at lunch. I'm Remus, your roommate. I hope you don't mind the side of the room I left you—if you do, I'm happy to switch over. It's not like there's a ton to move anyway. It's 11:30 as I'm writing this, and I expect I'll be back in about an hour and a half. If you move in sometime in that stretch of time and want to grab lunch or if you need anything, feel free to shoot me a text, my number's in the email from SRS.

— Remus Lupin"

Sirius smiled. The kid sounded like a saint. From the few personal effects scattered around the room, he seemed decent enough, if nothing else. Sirius typed out a message to the boy on his phone, but paused as his finger hovered over the send button. Why bother texting when he'll be back in an hour? I can introduce myself then. Deleting the message and throwing his phone onto his desk, Sirius looked around the room again. It was quaint enough, but...it was missing something. Decorations, maybe? Shrugging his shoulders, he decided to kill some time while he waited for his roommate's return. He considered finding food, but remembered the 100 step ordeal and ruled against it. Instead, he walked over to Remus' desk and perused the books displayed there. Gently tilting The Great Gatsby off of the shelf, Sirius grabbed a pillow off of his bed and made his way over to the window seat at the back of the room.

The cushion on the seat was alright, he supposed, but the wall was far too rigid to lean against. He positioned the pillow behind his back and maneuvered his shoulder into the corner of the little nook before nudging off his shoes and drawing his feet up onto the cushion, knees bent to create a sort of book stand for the novel to rest against. He made it through the first two chapters before losing focus. He'd never been one for the Jazz Age, and Fitzgerald's descriptions of Jay and Nick and Tom and Daisy made his stomach turn a bit as he thought about his family. He walked the book back over to Remus' desk and carefully replaced it in its spot on the shelf before returning to the window seat and sighing.

He missed Regulus already. By now, his younger brother would've jumped on his bed and told him to start making friends and exploring. Sirius had promised to do those things, but they didn't need to happen within the first three hours of being on campus. He looked around the room, searching for something to do. He was still uncomfortably sticky from his trek across the campus, so he reached into his bag to grab a new shirt to change into. His hand had closed around the collar of a shirt when he felt something rough brush his knuckles. He pulled the shirt out, and then reached back in to grab the unknown object. When his hand found it, Sirius let out a sharp gasp. He pulled his hand out of the bag and opened it gently. A small figurine, made out of wine corks and painted to look like a dog, rested in his palm.

"Padfoot…" he mumbled quietly. His brother's dog, the one that Sirius himself had made when Walburga had brought Regulus to tears by angrily announcing that they would most assuredly not be bringing a mongrel into their house.

His phone chimed from the desk, and Sirius walked over to check it, glancing incredulously at the dog in his hands every few seconds in disbelief.

12:39 PM — "You unpack yet?" Sirius chuckled. Leave it to Regulus to lead with dramatics. He typed out a quick message in the affirmative before placing the dog reverently on the shelf of his desk. His phone buzzed again.

12:41 PM — "Good. Just wanted to make sure you had something to remember me by, you dork."

As if I could ever forget, Sirius thought to himself, before snapping a quick photo of the dog on the shelf and sending it with a "How could I ?" message. A few minutes later, Regulus indicated that their parents returned, and Sirius huffed in frustration. He wasn't sure the anxiety and guilt about leaving Regulus with his parents was going to dissipate anytime soon. "Love you Regs. Let me know if you need anything, alright? I'm in New Jersey, not across the damn world."

12:50 PM — "10-4, S. Love you too. Miss you."

Sirius sighed, suddenly confronted with a wave of exhaustion. He supposed he should've expected that, given all of the walking around campus he'd done with his 50lb suitcase, but he was surprised nonetheless by how quickly it came on. Not wanting to ruin the bedding that he'd only just set out, Sirius returned to the window seat and curled up against the pillow. Closing his eyes and thinking of his brother, he drifted off just as the door to the suite opened.