Sat on the cold, cobble stairs - snow blanketing them, a love-stricken teenager and an alluring, pale faced half-elf were sat together, knees almost touching. Emilia - the elf girl, briefly glanced around. She attempted not to move her head too much or too quickly, however the ample amount of silver hair cascading down her shoulders made her movements obvious. Once she confirmed no one was close to them, she returned her mauve gaze to Subaru's lips, earning a befuddled glance from the latter.
"What's up Emilia-tan? Your cute face looks troubled?" The spiky haired boy perked up, wearing his usual smirk. Emilia's paper-white face darkened to a faint red, it circled around her cheeks and trailed up to the tips of her ears like paint.
"So.. Subaru.. you said you love me.. right?" Her feminine voice whispered, cutting cleanly through the air and making its way into Subaru's ears. He realised the sound before the reality of what she said sank in. His face turned as red as his love intrests'. He straightened his back and laid his hard working hands on his knees.
"Yes. I love Emilia-tan very much." Was his reply. Subaru stared at the girl, waiting for the remainder of her sentence.
"W-well.. that makes me soooo soo happy... but..." The way her words trailed off gave Subaru a sickening feeling in his stomach. The contradictory 'but' usually follows in disaster when used with something good preluding it. Subaru could only think of one ending to her sentence: 'Let's just be friends'.
"I did mention it before, but I'm putting all of my ultra manly effort into getting you to notice me."
"I'm— That makes me really happy.. but even when you say these things to me, I don't really understand what it means to like someone like that.." Head shamefully angled down, she pressed the tips of her slender index fingers together.
Subaru said nothing.
Emilia continued to speak however. "It was the same in the carriage.. and-and in the tomb.. You're telling me you love me, but I don't have anything I can tell you.. I know it's suuuper super terrible of me.." Hearing her sentence reach its feeble end, Subaru placed his fist to his chest in relief. Emilia's answer to his sudden confession was still in standby mode. Meaning nothing had changed from before, which is fine. As long as Subaru's persistent love confessions haven't sickened her, this is fine. Subaru will offer Emilia his hand when she needs it, provided she gets stuck enough to need it. That's the slight discord between Subaru and Emilia's recognition of the others feelings.
Subaru was snapped out of this thought pattern once Emilia raised her voice. "But! I think we really need to talk about the baby in my tummy!"
Subaru sat still, dumbstruck.
"..Pardon?"
"I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet, but either way, we have to shower them with love! But I was never taught that, so I don't know how to do that.. That's why I decided to talk to the father!"
"..No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait." Subaru's mind couldn't catch up with how fast the flustered beauty was speaking. The speed of Emilia's speech had also rendered her breathless, and Subaru could clearly see that she was agitated. There was no way they could sort things out like this. "Emilia-tan, take deep breaths and calm down a second. I'm doing that now, taking deep breaths to calm down. Oh look. There's snow over there." Subaru squat down, scooped up a hand full of snow and smacked it into his face in order to physically cool himself down. He could hear Emilia breathing deeply to his side, just as instructed, as he forced himself to think rationally. The baby is in Emilia's tummy. Emilia is the mother, and Subaru is the father. He didn't get it. Subaru's coming of age still had yet to happen. "Emilia-tan, when you say a baby, you mean an infant, right?"
"E-exactly. I know it will be tough with the royal selection.. but that's not the babies fault, and we have to make sure they're happy! I want the baby to get all of the love from the people around it." Emilia's determination was noble, beautiful, and most of all, cute. But what she's saying doesn't make sense. When Subaru and Emilia have come into contact, they're both fully clothed - they've never done anything like 'that'. So in that case, that must mean Emilia has done it with another ma- no, Subaru would rather not think about that.
"Emilia-tan.. you know babies don't drop from the sky, come from stalks or grow in cabbage patches, right?"
"But when a boy and a girl kiss, they make a baby, right?" She seemed almost proud of the fact that she knew that.
Subaru stood rigid. He was stunned. Stunned at how ignorant she is and how cute for believing this. "Subaru? What's wrong? Hey, Subaru!" Emilia didn't look to understand anything at all as she called Subaru's name. It almost looked as if her expression had grown stronger thanks to motherly-self awareness. Puck probably had a reason for keeping Emilia in the dark, which meant that he probably shouldn't fix this misunderstanding.
—No, he must. If Emilia keeps on this course, everything is going to surround Emilia's imaginary pregnancy. She'll be imagining her stomach growing bigger by the day, and begin talking to the thing. Which is cute, but presents many problems. "..Subaru.. maybe.. do you regret kissing me?" Her timid voice, once again, snapped Subaru back into the present.
"Uh! No actually. I'm craving infinite kisses from Emilia-tan."
"A-are you now.."
Subaru immediately regretted his instantaneous reaction as the conversation flows deeper into the river of misunderstandings. Subaru basically told Emilia that he's craving infinite baby making, he wouldn't mind that - of course - but maybe not right now.
To start with, Emilia needs to be properly educated about the first stage. He could get Ram or Frederica to do it, but where would be find them right this second? Emilia would start pestering for baby names, and getting more and more excited, only for her hope to be crushed. He couldn't do that to his precious Emilia-tan.
"..Um.. so Emilia-tan.. you know when a man and woman love each other very much—"
"I know!" She interrupted. "I remember Mother Fortuna telling me how it works. A man and a woman hold their frontal orifice together.. and they put the.. squishy thing into the other—"
"I also know that! Emilia tan.." It was Subaru's turn to interrupt. "..But that's not how a baby appears. Honestly, you're so cute, but so thick headed sometimes Emilia-tan."
"I am not. Mother Fortuna said that's how elves make babies."
"Eh? But you're only half right? So would it still work like that? Or would you do it the human way?"
"..Human.. way?"
"...Nevermind. So what you're saying, Emilia-tan, is elves make babies different to.. me and.. everyone else?!"
"Yes! You're finally understanding Subaru. Good boy." Subaru had to hide his elation at being praised by Emilia thanks to the current predicament.
"..Er.. so you really aren't just being a cute Emilia-tan and misunderstanding?"
"I am not."
"That's really how it works?"
"Yes. Honestly Subaru, I thought you would know this."
Subaru brought his hand to it head, combing his rugged fingers through his messy hair.
"I'm actually going to be a Dad? You aren't pulling my leg?"
"You will be a Daddy, and I will be a Mummy. We'll be a family Subaru..!"
Oh boy. He could wait a little while, and see if what Emilia says is actually true, and then go from there. That just means he has to go along with whatever Emilia-tan says for now. He could ask Beatrice if she has anything in her vast library regarding elf reproduction, but she would probably yell at him for being a pervert. What to do.. what to do..
"..W..well let's keep it a secret for now. If you tell everyone, they might start fussing over Emilia-tan, and I won't be able to have her all to myself." His regular smile returned, as he was now content with his plan. It obviously had a few holes, but those could be worked around.
"..I see. I suppose so. But if the baby starts to grow, and I need new clothes and everything, won't there other Royal Selection candidates start to notice? And maybe rumours will spread?"
"..In that case, how about we just tell Roswaal?"
"Roswaal is odd.." What a blunt way to put it.
"Yeah, but he's helping you with the Royal Selection, right?"
"..Yes.. but I would much prefer telling Ram."
"What will Ram do?"
"Ram is nice."
"..." This girl is so oblivious. "Why don't we go inside and talk about this tomorrow? When we're not tired and we're nice and warm. The kid'll need to be kept nice and cozy for now."
"Oh! Yes, you're right." Emilia jumped up and dusted the snow off of her behind. Subaru followed suit. "We'll need to buy lots of things when we get back to the capital."
"Yes.. yes.. we will." Subaru was once again reminded of his pennylessness. He held Emilia gently by the tips of her fingers, as his palms were sweating like crazy, and lead her into one of the small houses they had been occupying up until now.