Steven Universe: Mother, Mother

The night air was chilly as Steven walked slowly along the beach feeling the fine sand between his toes. It was nights like these, where he felt like he had more questions than answers, that he liked to walk alone and hear the crashing of the waves. Every wave crashing reminded him of the impermanence of his problems. Waves didn't have to question "why", they simply were.

He sighed sadly. Even though he knew that he would never be able to truly meet his mother, his heart still wished on for it. Pulling up his shirt a little and staring down at the pink gem placed within his belly button, he pushed back tears. That little gem was the only part of her left, and sometimes that sentiment would bring him to his knees.

Off in the distance, he saw a shimmering light within the water. Did someone lose their flashlight or something? No, no, that wouldn't make sense. He summoned his bubble and began rolling on top of the waves. With a bit of effort, he managed to float above where the light was emanating from. Peering down into the waves, he spotted what looked like a glowing… Crystal Ball?

Something felt off about it. Was it an artifact? Why was it so close to his house? Who even would lose their crystal ball in a place like this? Letting out another sigh, he popped his bubble and swam down to grab it. It had sparked his interest enough where he couldn't just let it sit there on the sand for fish to try and eat.

As his hand grazed the smooth surface of the ball, he felt himself being pulled closer towards it. He quickly tried to pull his hand away in a quick panic. No way was he going to get stuck under the waves by a strange glowing ball. It didn't do much to help, however, as he only got further pulled in the harder he tried to pull away. He felt his airways begin to scream for air as his panic furthered. Just as his vision began to darken, he heard a voice.

"H-Huh? Who are you, dear?"

Steven was pulled out of the water still holding the crystal ball. He gasped for air as the bright light hit his vision like arrows. Coughing and spluttering on the sand, he finally opened his eyes fully. A pink figure hovered over him, blocking out most of the sunlight now. "Hello? Human? Are you okay?"

It was Rose Quartz. Steven quickly sat up in shock, his eyes as wide as saucers. "M-Mom?!"

Rose chuckled, "You must have hit your head pretty hard, kiddo. I'm not your mom. My name is Rose, nice to meet you." Her hands rested on her large stomach, caressing an unborn child.

"N-No, really, you are my Mom! I-I can't believe this! Am I in the past? Maybe I did hit my head too hard… Oh! Here! Here's proof!" He stood and lifted his shirt up to show his gem.

She let out a gasp, "Oh my! Are you… Steven?" Steven nodded quickly. She looked down at her stomach before looking up at him, "My, you look so much like your father! How adorable. I'm so glad I was able to meet you, Steven. I can't believe it!"

Steven felt so much he could barely contain it. He had wished since he could remember to finally meet his mother. But… How did he feel about her now? After all she had done? After all she had put everyone through? His face must have betrayed his feelings, because Rose's face fell.

"You don't seem too happy to see me… What do you know?"

"Everything."

"Oh…"

There was a long silence as they stared at each other. Rose seemed to not be too bothered by what he had found out. Steven, on the other hand, could barely keep his temper together. "Why'd you do it, Mom…? Why'd you leave Spinel in that garden? How could you fake your own death and keep everything a secret? H-How could you leave everyone behind and put me in your place? I just-… I can't believe you'd do all that."

Rose simply sat and took the questions with an unwavering gaze. After he finished, she spoke. "There's a lot of questions I know that you want the answer to. How about we go sit down and talk?"

He curtly nodded. He didn't want to go anywhere with her at the moment, overcome with a wave of hurt and anger. He let her lead him to the house her and his dad bought to raise him in. Sitting him down in the living room, she started. "I'll answer one at the time. You wanted to know why I faked my death? I didn't feel like I was taken seriously enough and wanted a new life with real friends. That's not such a bad thing, is it? Anyone would want what I couldn't have."

"But you wrecked the other diamonds in the process and started a full-scale war! Don't you see that you got so many gems shattered? You were selfish!"

"Gems were being shattered anyway, and I helped spark a revolution, Steven. It was good that I did what I had. If not, Earth wouldn't be free and you wouldn't be alive right now."

He quieted down. It was hard to know what to think. Although she had a point, she had done so much at what cost? Did it really outweigh the damage she had done? For him, it was hard to say. "Then what about Spinel, huh?"

"What I did was a mistake, but I did it anyways. You know, Revolutionaries don't have stuffed toys. It's okay if you don't understand, but it was my decision."

"It wasn't worth what you put Spinel through! She'll never be the same again because of you! All those years hoping and praying you'd be coming back soon to give her praise, and all you can say is that 'it was your decision?"

"No one's perfect, Steven. You haven't lived very long, right? Humans live such short and fragile lives. There are some things you wouldn't understand. Try living a millennia having to go day in and day out with you wants, fears, and feelings being ignored. Your life handed to you on a silver platter, but it is a life that you despise? You humans can barely go a year doing things much, much smaller than that." She still showed no ounce of feeling, speaking matter-of-factly. It drove Steven up the wall.

He growled in response, "Yeah? Well, for someone who had a millennia to try to fix your flaws, you sure let them fester. None of what you did was worth it. You shouldn't have even LET ME BE BORN!" He exploded, the windows shattering as he glowed bright pink.

"Oh my! Don't say that, Steven! I want to give you life more than anything, because I love you! It doesn't matter that I'm gone! Everyone got over it, didn't they? I wanted to be able to give life more than anything, so don't take that away from me!" Her face darkened, "I'm getting tired of your tantrums, son. It's my turn to ask questions. It's only fair."

"Only fair…? Only FAIR? What part of what you've ever done was fair? Things are only fair to you if they go your way! I looked up to you, Mom, for so long! And then I had to learn who you really are!"

He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down, "I'll tell you what's happened, Mom. You left Dad heartbroken, the Gems still aren't over your death, and you left me to clean up all of your messes. Want to know what I did? I've helped the gems through all their issues, saved Earth from a cluster in the planet's core, stopped the diamonds from destroying everything that I love, and worked Spinel through her traumas."

"Not only that, Mom, but no matter what I've done, I haven't been good enough! I'm always compared to you, and it isn't fair! All my life has been cleaning up every single spill you've made! And I don't think I can ever forgive you for it!"

Rose sat in stunned silence. She hadn't been expecting such a speech from her son. The clock ticked loudly as they stared into each others' eyes. After a moment, her face broke into a sad smile. "Steven, I'm so proud of you."

His eyes widened in shock. Those were the words he had always dreamt of hearing from her. Never in his life did he imagine he would be able to have that wish granted. Tears welled up in his eyes. His stomach flooded with guilt as he began crying. Did he really despise his own mother this much?

No… I didn't want it like this… I didn't want it from a woman like her… So why am I so happy about it…?

Rose continued, "You've done so well, Steven. I know I haven't been perfect. I've made a lot of mistakes and have hurt a lot of people. But my Son helped fix it. You were able to be better and grow further than I had ever been able to. My son grew." Tears trickled down her cheeks, "I'm so proud of you, Steven."

His small, quiet tears turned into large ones as he began to sob. He got onto his knees and hugged her, his voice shaking as hard as his body. "Mom… Mom, I hate what you've done! I hate you and I love you and I'll never forgive you!" Rose simply held him as he cried his heart out. She held him until he couldn't cry anymore, after every ounce of regret, anger, grief, and despair left his body.

As he quieted down, she whispered quietly. "You're allowed to hate me for what I've done. You're allowed to feel guilty for still loving me. Feel what you need to, but know that I will always love you, no matter what."

He held her for a while longer before pulling back. "I love you too, Mom… I'm glad I was able to meet and talk with you."

She laughed, her voice sounding like crystal. "I'm glad I was able to meet you too. Now, Steven, we need to find you a way to get back to your time."

They walked with each other hand-in-hand to the sand where they had found him. The glowing crystal ball was still there. Steven turned to face his mother, "Well, I guess this is goodbye…"

"It is goodbye… Remember, Steven, I'm proud of you. The beauty of humanity is its ability for amazing growth. I'm glad I was able to become a part of that. Keep growing, Steven. I'll never stop loving you."

He bent over to give her a kiss on the cheek and one last long hug. His mother ruffled his hair as he stood up. Both stared one last time into each other's tear-filled eyes before he picked up the orb.

As soon has his hands touched the orb, he felt himself being sucked in again. As he began to glow, he looked back to where his mother had stood. He watched as her figure was overtaken by the bright white light emanating from the orb until she couldn't be seen.

Suddenly, the light died down and he was standing in the exact spot on the beach. He looked down at the orb in amazement and slight fear as it lost its' glimmer. Steven couldn't trust himself not to use it again to speak with his mother again. As if Garnet had read his mind, she was there.

"Hello Steven, nice trip?" She looked at his damp, disheveled body with a bit of pity. Steven only gave her a slight nod, exhausted both physically and emotionally from his 'trip'. He wiped his eyes with his forearm as he made sure not to accidentally drop the ball. "That's nice, I'll need that orb now."

He didn't object, immediately holding out the orb to her. He knew better than to argue with Garnet on it. It was a dangerous power, and Steven knew it was one he would likely abuse. He looked up at the starry sky and thought back on his trip. As he stared, Garnet placed a hand on his shoulder. "Let's keep this to ourselves for now, okay?"

He quietly nodded and followed Garnet back into the house. His body felt heavy and his bed seemed awfully comfy after such a hectic night. As he laid in bed and stared at his ceiling, Steven thought of his mother. And for the first time since forever, that thought made him smile.