Jimmy, in his usual everyday home, was watching the local news. He has just gotten his braces off and is now the legal age of 18 years. He worked out a lot, so he's more buff.. He wondered for many a year, what had happened to the edd boys? ANd his answered was sure to be seen on the screen. Ed, the long one, was about to be taken to REAL prison, not daycare prision i forforgot the name.
He looked at the camera and sighed. "I did not do it I did not!"
Jimmy, lit his cigarette and sighed. He took a quick huff and opened his blinds. The destroyed remains of the neighborhood, remained still destroyed.
"Ah, I remember now… yuers ago…. When he were youth. Those ed boys…."
4 years ago today today (yesertday)
Not like any other day, The "Ed boys", were recruiting their newest member of da Cul-D-Sac, "Deady". He was kinda like a combination of Ed, Edd n even, Eddy, but slightly different. He doesn't afraid of anything, and that's why he earned Eddy's respect.
"Listen, new kid, nothing personnel but we run this shit. If you wanna make an impression on these suckers, you gotsta know the ropes." Eddy said with smug, then he put jawbreaker in mouth but it was too big and he nearly choked to death. They wanted to help, but Eddy wanted to look cool infront of the new guy, so they awkwardly waited for him to swallow his dignity.
"Yuse guys no my name is Prince Herb right?" said deady.
"It doesn't sund like ed so we make you dead but alive so deady, gotit?"" One of the eds said(I don't nose witch une)
"This is the worst punishment yet, but its a paychuck." Deady said to himself in his ear peaice
"Ok deadyt, wyou woudnt have A LICK OF AN IDEA WHAT TO DO FOR A SCAM!?" sHOUTED EDDY RIGHT INTO DOUBLE D'S EAR.
"Double D does not like when shouteed into." Double D adjusted his hat. "Didn't you say you wanted to turn your moms and washer and dryer machine into a ride?"
"Ummm, Yeah!" Said with one D, not two. "I can take Sarah's, but we gotta be careful. I need to watch Cinemassacre's Monster Madness at 6 o clock!".
"Shut up ed. Said Eddy." Said Eddy.
"Werll take my car." Said Deady.
"It's two houses down the street dork." Said Eddy.
"I know…" Said Deady. Forceblyt frthowing the kids into the car.
But just then, Rolf showed up. He was naked and had a tattoo of Jaiden Smith stretched over his groin. He began to floss and exited this fanfic forever. You're welcome.
Thankfully, that cutaway gave me enough time to think of a clever way to implement Deady driving into ed's moms car.
""UH OH!" Said Ed. "Moms gonna KILL ME!"
Deadly mumbled… "that's the pont... "
"Huh?" SAID ED
"TODAY JR. I'M NOT WATING. I WANT THAT NEW FLAVOR OF JAW BREAKER BEFORE KEVBIN GETS IT. THE NEW FLAVOR IS CREOLE SEASONING. I AM READY!" sAID eddy.
Deady ignored that, broke down the door even though it was already open, and was confronted by Sarah. "Holy fucking smokes!" Sarah exclamed, but it was too late. Deady was already on the move, get it? So he wen up to her and yelled, "Sorry, there can be no more mistakes."
And before you could say, yaba-dabba, he pummeled her into paste and then copy and pasted her into the washing machine. And by that, I mean he literally fucking smashed her body into pulp, and then thrrew what was left of it into the washer that he quite literally, pull from the Earth.
Ed cried, or at least, he would have but he was too afraid of Dready. "Something wrong?" Dready asked, but no say so it happened. The rest of the car ride was a little awkward to say the least, there was a dead sibling in the trunk as well as stolen property. Deady wasn't even concerned that he was bleeding everywhere. Double D spokt, "Should I spek something?" But he didnt say outloud.
THe next day, and by day, I mean 5 minutes later
"No. NO. NO! NO" Said Eddy. "I dropped my quarter. Damn it! I ned to think of a scam quickly. Oh hey, what's that? A big tree? I hatched and idea within my crane. Let us turn that hallow tree, into a halloween horror nights in the summer time so it's not halloween."
"Ok." Said the oktehr enders.
"Mmm, okay done." eddy Theft had already done that.
|I
So they set up a stand and was ready to scam.
"Ah a first customer!" Eddy's eyes popped out of his head. "KEVIN? OH SHIT!"
"FUCK YOU!" Said Kevin rushing at Eddy, hitting him with a lead pipe.
Double D attempted to run, but Kevin grabbed him by the shirt collar and zip tied him to his bike tires.
"Dear lord! What are you going to do to me?" Said Double D.
Kevin smirked "Don't worry about it."
Kevin then hopped on his bike and mumbled. "It's not your fault… it's mine." He kicked the peddles and the tire began to tare away at Double D's face.
"I'm sorry…" Kevin hoppedo his bike and took his lead pipe and began to push it slowly into double D's spine.
Double D screamed in agony as the lead pipe cute threw his spine. "I'm sorry…" Kevin cried.
Kevin then proceeded to pour gasoline down the pipe and threw a match down it. Double D's insides began to ignite. Kevin hopped back on his bike and began to ride off, with Double D still attached to his bike, Double D's body was dragged against the pavement and peeled his skin against the gravel, his head was caught between a fence post, breaking his neck on impact and the zip ties snapped. Kevin rode off, with tears in his eyes. Double's D life has ended.
"Dude, you ok?" Said Eddy. "Get up dork it's time to return to the scam.
"Da'w, he's taking a nap. Let's leave him be!" Said Ed.
The three returned to their scam, using Double D's corpse as a decoration. He would have wanted it this way, or so we think.
" Deez Nuts. Anywho, what were we going to do again?" Edyy thinked HARD. "Oh yeah! Deddy's initiation party! And what's a party without a lot of decorations!"
Deddy said, "More decorations, you say? I think I got yo covered." He had nefarious plan of pure genius. The Cul-D-Sac had a lot of kids, I mean, decorations, just waiting to be used.
"DING! Said the light buld inside my head. I forgot the decoration inside my trunk..."
He pulled out Saraha and strung her up in a jar.
"Dudes wacked out of his mind!" Said Eddy. "I'm starting to think he's two nuts short of a fruit cake." Said Eddy.
"Duh huh huh, whats deady doing over there?" Siad ed.
Dead, who had already snapped Plank in half, held Johnny's forehead with both his hands and tossed him asaid.
Kevin rolled up with Nazz, "You're the guy whos' been dressing up as me and is killing people!"
Nazz, who was 18 in this fanfic had big bo- Oh, Deady ripped out her spine and shoved it down her throat. Dude, can we stop writing this? Shits fucked.
No.
Kevin fell on his knees. "She… She was pregant with MY baby!"
Suddenly, Rolf abruptly ran Deady over, but not really as he dodged jumped of his tractor and patted Kevin on the back. "You can always make another!" Said Rolf, winking. Kevin smirked. "Yeah."
It was Deady VS Kevin and Rolf!
Kevin had mastered Karate and all sorts of martial arts, giving his body a massive power difference. Rolf, who has worked on the farm his entire life. Plowing the fields with his bare hands and wrestling animals gave his muscles a golden glow.
"Let's team up buddy, take this dork out once and for all. He's corrupted the edd's to become even eddier… no… worse… kanker! NO! Worse! Assholes."
Rolf nodded. "Let us shear this sheep…"
Deady, pulled out a gun.
"Oh- OH SHIT!" Said Kevin as his life ended as a bullet pierced his skull.
Rolf tackled Deady to the ground and began to blugent his face into the pavement with his fists. "YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!"
Deady continued to smile, despite his face becoming distorted from the beating.
Dead grabbed Rolf's arm and snapped it in half. "WHAT?" shouted Rolf. "B-but how…"
'Think Rolf, you'll make a great decoration if I gave you the false sense of victory. But kevin had to die. He was a background character to me…."
Rolf chuckled. "Decoration? I think it's you who'll paint these streets red." Rolf then grabbed Deady by the face and crushed his skull, brain matter, skull bits and blood splattered eveyrwhere. Rolf licked the blood off his face.
The police had arrived. "Who did this?"
Rolf pointed at Ed and Eddy.
Eddy, fearing cops finding out about his scams and ilegal coin smuggling, bit off his own tongue and choked to death.
Ed, did not know what was going on, willingly went with the cops…
This was the end of the Ed'ventures…on the Gamecube! Jimmy took the disc out of his system. "Huh, shit's scuffed. No wonder the game was experiencing all those weird glitches!" Then Jimmy logged into metacritic, and left the game a negative review.
This story.. Is over…
Thanks for reading…. I was in tears writing this.
Rofl coptering at this XDDD