AN: Everyone knows I don't own Star Wars, of course. This was written for a friend who ships Ben/Poe and headcanons that Ben and Poe were best friends growing up.

"Seeing You Again"

By EsmeAmelia

"Relax, kid. It's gonna be fine."

How many times had Han repeated that since the Falcon took off for Yavin 4? Ben wanted to believe it, but he couldn't shake the lingering doubt in the back of his mind no matter how much meditation he tried (for around two minutes at a time, though – he'd never been good at meditating). How long had it been since he'd seen Poe in person, anyway? Six years? Seven years? It was definitely before Poe had left for Kijimi to join the Spice Runners and Poe had only visited him at Luke's Temple a couple of times before that, though they had kept in touch through the comm . . . sometimes. After Poe left, it wasn't abnormal for him to go months without calling.

But now Poe was back.

Ben held his breath as the Falcon touched down on Yavin 4, bringing the thick greenery into view. As soon as they were landed, both Han and Chewie swiveled their seats around to give Ben comforting looks. "Don't worry, son," said Han, giving that infectious grin that Leia said Ben had inherited. "He's gonna be proud of the man you've grown up to be."

"Well I don't feel very grown-up right now," Ben muttered. "What's twenty years of life when you haven't seen your best friend since you were a kid?"

Han reached over, patting his son's shoulder. "Well that's about to change, ain't it?"

"Yeah," said Ben, doing his best to ignore how his stomach was flipping. "It's about to change."

. . .

As the ramp lowered and the three descended, an oh-too-familiar presence screamed itself to Ben's Force senses. Older, wearier, more attuned to the harsh ways of the galaxy, but still him.

Poe.

Ben practically rushed down the ramp to see his friend standing in the grass, awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to the other and back again. He was taller than Ben remembered, his hair was a bit longer, and he might have put on a bit of weight, but his face still carried that boyish plumpness in his cheeks.

The former Spice Runner swallowed as he stared at Ben and suddenly Ben felt his heart pounding. What was he supposed to say now? Should he start the conversation or should Poe? Why was he even wondering these things when they'd known each other since they were practically babies?

When what seemed like hours but was probably only thirty seconds passed without either one speaking, Poe finally took the initiative.

"You . . . got tall," Poe said, running his hand through his own hair. "Like, really tall."

Ben shrugged. "Growth spurt when I was fifteen." He gulped – neither of them had ever been short, but Ben wasn't used to looking down at Poe. In fact, Poe, being two years older, had been the taller one for most of their childhoods. "So . . . how are you?"

Poe shrugged back. "Well, Dad gave me a talking-to, but he also gave me the tightest hug ever and started crying. I guess . . . I dunno, I thought he wouldn't miss me so much when I left, but yeah, I was an ass."

"You're not an ass," Ben said automatically.

Poe opened his mouth, looking about to protest, but Han and Chewie approaching kept him from speaking. "Hey kid!" said Han, grinning at Poe with his arms spread out. "From one redeemed scoundrel to another, lemmie say welcome back!"

The spark in Poe's eyes that Ben remembered so well briefly lit up at the sight of Han. "Hey, Mr. Solo," he said, "long time no see."

Han gave an exaggerated groan. "How many times to I have to tell you not to call me Mr. Solo?" Nevertheless, he gathered Poe up in a hug, squeezing him close, and in another second Chewie had them both squeezed in a Wookiee hug.

Ben, meanwhile, just watched. Though he wanted to join in the hug, he found himself unable to move, though he couldn't figure out why. This was Poe. The boy who'd defended him from bullies, comforted him when he had nightmares during sleepovers, gone on countless outings with him. Why wasn't he throwing his own arms around Poe?

"Ben?"

Poe had pulled out of the embrace and was now staring at his old friend, his eyes narrowed as if trying to see inside his mind, and Ben felt a wave of guilt and disappointment flowing from him. "You're mad at me, aren't you?"

"What? No, of course not!" Ben exclaimed a little too quickly. "Why would I be mad at you?"

Poe blew a huff of air out of his mouth. "Cause I ran away from Dad, from you and your family, from everyone who cared about me, to go spice running? Cause I thought I could prove myself by being a 'bad boy'? Cause you and Dad and everyone else gave me love and support and I spat in all your faces? I don't blame you if you never want to see me again, I . . ."

Ben raised his hand. "Stop, stop, for the Force's sake, stop!" He took a deep breath, staring into Poe's glistening eyes as a soft breeze blew, curling Poe's hair upward slightly. "I don't hate you – I could never hate you – but what were you thinking?" With that, it was as if a dam burst in his mind, letting out all the pent-up resentment he'd kept in ever since Poe left. "Do you have any idea how much I worried about you, how many nights I lay awake wondering if you were dead or captured or something, how much . . ." He caught himself before he could mention the voice in his mind and how it told him frequently that Poe leaving was evidence that everyone would abandon him sooner or later.

Now there was actually a tear streaming down Poe's cheek. "Ben . . . I never wanted to hurt you."

"Well you did!" Ben's voice came out harsher than he'd intended.

"Ben, c'mon," Han interjected. "Don't give him a hard time."

"A hard time?" Ben's breathing sped up, as he whipped around to face his father, his lungs feeling out of control. "He's the one who ran off and I'm the one giving him a hard time?"

Han raised his hands, showing his palms in a calming gesture. "Son, look, the life of a smuggler is no picnic – believe me, I know."

"You had to do it to survive, not to prove some stupid macho point!" Ben shouted, Han's image blurring through angry tears. "I'm supposed to act like nothing happened just because he's back?"

A loud sob diverted both men's attention. Ben turned and there was Poe, his body doubled over and his hands over his face, crying. "Y-you're right," he stuttered between sobs. "You're right, I deserve everyone to yell at me."

Ben gulped, his throat suddenly dry. "Poe . . ."

"Don't," Poe interrupted with a sniffle, running his hand over his eyes. "I don't deserve pity, I don't want pity. If you don't want to be friends anymore, fine, I understand."

Some people might have said that because they actually wanted pity and were trying to make the other person feel guilty, but, Ben sensed, not Poe. Sorrow and guilt were pulsating from him, flowing into Ben's very being, telling him that Poe meant what he said.

And with that, Ben threw his arms around his friend, squeezing him in an embrace tight enough to make up for the years apart. Now that he was taller than Poe, the former Spice Runner could actually rest his head on Ben's shoulder – which he did, nuzzling him like a tooka. Neither spoke for what seemed like a long time, but Poe's breath slowed and his sobs died down.

"You're still my friend, Poe," Ben found himself saying, "and friends forgive each other."

Poe gripped Ben's sides, his strong hands squeezing him almost to the point of discomfort. "You have no idea what it means to hear you say that."

Han cleared his throat loudly, getting the attention of both the younger men. "Hey kids," he said, "I know we've all got a lot to catch up on, but how about we do that over lunch?"

Ben and Poe both snickered. "Sure," said Poe, "I bet Dad can't wait to see all of you again."

As the four made their way to Kes Dameron's house, Ben and Poe brought up the rear of the party, not talking, just enjoying walking side by side. There would definitely be a lot of adjusting ahead of them now that Poe was back.

But for now, Ben was content just to walk with his friend.

THE END