Kaz Brekker is not a forgiving man.

Jesper knows this, but yet he's still here in Kaz's office, hoping for forgiveness. "I can win it back," he says, "double it, even."

Kaz doesn't look up from his desk, which isn't so much a desk as an old door slung across stacked crates. Jesper doesn't know why he doesn't just buy a real desk with some of the money he's earned. The money he so meticulously keeps track of in the books he's writing in. The money Jesper gambled away, even though it was for a job. "I can triple it," he tries, but Kaz won't so much as glance his way.

Jesper takes a step further in out of the doorway and the door clicks closed behind him. "Kaz-"

"No," Kaz says, speaking at last, his voice gravel rough. Jesper's always loved his voice.

"No?"

"Don't apologize. We both know you aren't sorry for what you did, only that you lost."

A hot flare of shame shoots through Jesper, but it's true. Had he won he'd not see anything wrong with the chance he took. It's only losing that brings clarity. "I'll pay you back the money."

"Obviously."

Jesper steps forward. He slinks closer to Kaz's desk, feeling a bit like a puppy that's been kicked. He'd thought he'd win. He felt lucky. Of course he always feels that way at first—and he even had been winning at the start. It's just knowing when to stop that's the problem.

Maybe it's his problem now. He should leave, let Kaz have room to be angry with him without a target to direct that anger toward. Kaz's cruelty can be biting. Instead he moves till the desk is almost brushing against his thighs and says Kaz'z name softly.

"What?" It's short, slightly irritated. Kaz thinks he should leave too.

"Are we okay?"

The 'we' in question being this new thing between him and Kaz. Well, him, Kaz and Inej. But Inej doesn't fuck up as much as he does and he knows he's good with her. She even whispered to him earlier that she'll talk to Kaz for him.

"Why don't you ask Inej?" Ah, so Inej talking to Kaz didn't go well. Knowing his luck she may have accidentally made it worse.

"She was just trying to help."

"It isn't her job to clean up your mess."

Jesper bites his lip and glances away. He just wants to know where he stands with Kaz. Is Kaz angry as his boss and his boyfriend, or just as his boss? "I want to make things right."

Kaz folds his hands together, supple leather clinging to his fingers. Jesper used to long for a glance at his bare hands; now he thinks he's developed some kind of glove kink. "And how do you plan to do that?"

"Punish me," Jesper says.

Kaz's face registers no emotion. "How do you suggest I do that? I could bend you over this desk and give you a good caning, but we both know you'd enjoy that."

Jesper remembers them trying that not so long ago. Kaz had given him a few swift blows, nothing near as brutal as when he was trying to hurt, but it had stung and bruised. Inej had watched and counted the blows, keeping a careful eye on Jesper. She had learned some men liked pain; most had liked to inflict it, but some had liked to receive it. She made sure that Kaz didn't go too far, that Jesper didn't let him go too far. He'd been crying and hard as a rock when it was over. Kaz made him finish himself off, desperate and pleading for release. He got to curl up in Kaz's bed after and doze while Kaz worked, and Inej applied salve to his sore bottom. It had been nice.

"What do you want to do to me?"

It's a challenge and a dare, all in one. A taunt, almost. Kaz raises from his chair and moves toward him. When he gets close, Jesper instinctively takes a step back. Kaz's eyes glint with amusement. His cane comes up to tip Jesper's head back. "What do I want to do to you?"

He lowers the cane and wraps a gloved hand around Jesper's throat, not choking, just resting it there, holding Jesper in place. He's gotten better at touching, at least with the gloves on, for him and Inej. Skin on skin is still too much for him most days, but Jesper thinks eventually, they'll reach a place where he can handle it.

The hand around his neck does interesting things to Jesper. Sends all the blood downstairs. The idea of Kaz's hand around his neck should be frightening; instead Jesper wants him to squeeze harder. And Kaz definitely knows the effect he's having, from that sharp glint in his eye.

Jesper blames the sudden surge of lust for blurting "Kiss me."

Kaz blinks, looks at him like he's lost it, then regains composure all within nanoseconds. "Why would I do that?"

"You said you would." Specifically, he had said he would if Jesper did well on the job, which hasn't happened yet. Inej's idea of motivation. He thinks she called it 'positive behavior reinforcement'.

Kaz leans closer to him, that grip on his neck tightening to a squeeze. Jesper sucks in a gasp of air and feels his dick throb. "I don't reward bad behavior."

"Everything we do is bad behavior." That almost gets him a smile, he sees the corner of Kaz's mouth twitch ever so slightly. "Kiss me."

Kaz goes even closer, only scant inches between them but doesn't close the distance. Jesper sulks. "That isn't nearly as attractive as you think."

Kaz does sound amused now, which is better than angry. Jesper decides to take his chances and leans in closer, so close their mouths almost touch. He won't close that last bit of distance though, that has to be Kaz and he knows it. Knows how Kaz would react if he tried—probably a sharp smack from his cane. Not sharp enough to truly hurt, not here where they are alone together and no one to see, but enough to sting like a bitch.

Kaz doesn't close the distance. He pushes Jesper back slightly, turns his head with his hand and squeezes. His mouth comes close to Jesper's ear, so close he can almost feel it touch, can feel the heat from it. "Do you think you deserve to be kissed?"

He really doesn't, but that doesn't stop the moan coming from his throat. Kaz's hand tightens and he moans. Like a whore. "Please, Kaz."

"No gambling for a week," Kaz says.

"Right, yes," Jesper agrees.

"And you'll pay back my money with interest."

"Anything you want."

The hand on his neck tightens a little further and Jesper feels dizzy with it. Kaz's mouth comes back near his and he's close, so close. Jesper whines high in his throat. Kaz's other hand comes down and cups between his legs. Jesper's knees nearly buckle. "I think that and leaving you like this are punishment enough."

Then Kaz steps back and Jesper feels all the air rush back to his brain. He's hard as diamond and wanting, while Kaz is cool as a cucumber. Kaz sits back at his desk and returns to his books. Jesper feels flabbergasted and out of sorts. "I-you-"

"You can go now," Kaz says coolly, not looking up from his books.

Jesper turns toward the door, still dizzy and aroused and a little dazed. He has his hand on the knob before he stops and asks "But you do forgive me, right?"

Kaz does glance up now, only for a brief second before returning to his work. "Yes, Jesper."

That's good enough for Jesper.