Chapter 1-
Amanda sat in her car trying to build up the courage to enter the apartment building in front of her. She knew that this conversation needed to happen; her therapist was the one that had suggested that she have this one-on-one conversation with her mother. She understood that it was a parents love and in some cases duty to come to the aid of their child. She always felt that her mother would drop everything to help Kim, yet when she needed her mother, needed her support, her mother seemed to take her time, or come up with some excuse why she couldn't come and be there for her. When she was pregnant with Jessie, she needed her mother's support and help, her mother even agreed to come to New York and help her out. Unfortunately, just like when she was younger, Kim gets into trouble and their mother jumps to Kim's aid, leaving Amanda in the dust, to fend for herself like always. Call it jealousy or whatever you want to call it, but their mother seemed to give Kim more attention, putting her first, and willing to move mountains for Kim. For once she would like her mother to allow Kim to face the consequences of her actions so that she'll learn from them instead of knowing that mother dearest will bail her out like always. Yes, to Amanda her mother seemed to love Kim more than her, and that's what hurts the most. She wasn't perfect, but she felt like she deserves the same amount of love and attention that Kim receives.
Taking a deep calming breath, Amanda exited her car and headed into the apartment building. Her nerves were in overdrive and she was fighting every impulse to turn around and leave. She needed to do this, to clear the air with her mother and move forward. Closing her eyes briefly, Amanda took another deep breath before knocking on the door. She heard just a minute come through the door. Amanda took the extra minute to remind herself to remain calm and try to keep the conversation civilized. She jolted from her thoughts when the door opened revealing her mother. Amanda plastered a smile on her face as she looked at her mother, "Hey Ma."
"Hey Manda, didn't know you were stopping by. Come in, come in." Ms. Rollins said in her southern drool as she waved Amanda into the apartment.
"Sorry for not calling beforehand, is this a bad time?" Amanda asked stepping into the apartment fully. Before her mother could respond Amanda heard a squeal, before seeing her nephew running toward her. Her smile turned to a genuine smile when Mason flung himself at her, hugging her legs. "Hey buddy, how are you?"
"Good, miss you auntie Manda." Mason said sweetly.
Ms. Rollins stepped forward, "Mason you're supposed to be taking a nap, now go," she said firmly.
"I'll see you later ok, go take a nap." Amanda said ruffling Mason's hair. Mason nodded and ran back to his room. Amanda stood up straight as she glanced around the lavish apartment, "Nice place."
Ms. Rollins gave a slight shrug, "It is a nice place, I hope to give it to Kim when she get's out of prison." Ms. Rollins says casually as she poured herself some wine.
Amanda had to remind herself once again to stay calm. Once again Kim gets into trouble, almost loses her son to the state because she overdosed doing drugs and here comes their mother to the rescue. Kim is given a reward, an apartment that is nicer than hers. She watches as her mother fills her wine glass, "Isn't it early for that."
Ms. Rollins chuckles, "It's five O'Clock somewhere. So, what brings you by?" Ms. Rollins ask as she makes her way back over to Amanda, wine glass in hand.
Amanda watches as her mother takes a sip of her wine before deciding to take a seat on the couch. "You know I've been seeing a therapist for a while now," Amanda started off saying.
Ms. Rollins chuckles as she shakes her head, "Yes, but I don't know why you would want to pay someone to listen to your problems."
Amanda flinches slightly at her mother's comment. The same comment she made towards Olivia five years ago. She hates herself for saying that now, she will have to remember to apologize to Olivia again for it. "Ma, it's a little more complicated than that. I've been through a lot over the years."
"Manda," Ms. Rollins says as she sighs loudly, "everyone goes through crap in their life, news flash, life isn't easy, but you just keep going and pushing forward."
Amanda had to shake her head slightly, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. "Ma, I know life isn't easy, trust me I know that and understand that all to well." Closing her eyes as she ran a hand through her hair, Amanda decided to just tell her mother what she needed to say so that she could leave. "Look, in my sessions I have expressed how it seems like you love Kim more than me. I have always felt this way. You seem to always run to Kim's rescue when she get's into trouble but leave me in the lurch. Case in point, this apartment, Kim leaves her son with a stranger to go do drugs and almost dies and you come running and buy her an apartment."
"Manda, where will Kim and Mason go when she get's out of jail. I am not going to allow them to be homeless. And have you forgotten when you got pregnant with Jessie, I came up here to help you. I even threw you a baby shower." Ms. Rollins argues.
"No, I didn't forget, but apparently you have forgotten how Kim got into trouble, you jump to her rescue again and then left after you said you were going to move here and help me out." Amanda said trying to keep her voice low as to not awaken Mason.
Downing the remaining wine, Ms. Rollins moves to pour herself another glass of wine. "Manda, what do you want from me?"
Amanda stands up and moves to stand in front of her mother, "I want to know why you love Kim more than you love me? I'm your daughter just like Kim." Amanda finally asked her mother, but she wasn't prepared for the answer.
Ms. Rollins stared at her daughter for a second before replying, "You're not my daughter like Kim is." Ms. Rollins simply says.
"What does that even mean Ma?" Amanda pushed, wanting an explanation.
Ms. Rollins took a sip of her wine, "You're adopted."
Amanda shook her head, "You're lying." Amanda said as she felt the tears building up in her eyes.
"It's the truth Manda. When your father and I first got married we had a hard time getting pregnant. All of my friends were having children and yet I was not. So, we decided to look into adoption." Ms. Rollins moved to sit in the black leather recliner before looking up at Amanda, "We had a hard time finding the right child in Georgia. And we wanted a newborn baby. One day our agent called us saying there was a teenager who was giving up her baby girl, but there was a catch, the teenager lived here in New York, but once your father and I heard that we could adopt a newborn baby we jumped at the opportunity. We got notified when you were born and flew to New York. It was a closed adoption; we never met your birth mother." Ms. Rollins finished explaining.
Amanda's mind was swirling with emotions and questions. "I…" Amanda paused not knowing what to say. The only thing she did know was that her life was just turned upside down. "Does Kim know about this?" Amanda finally asked one of the many questions that was swirling in her head.
Ms. Rollins shook her head, "No, we never told her."
"And you have no idea who my birth mother is?" Amanda fired the next question only to receive another no from her mother. "I don't understand, when you adopt a child, you are supposed to love it like it was your own flesh and blood, as if you gave birth to that child yourself."
"I'm sorry Manda, what do you want me to say. I thought the same thing but when Kim came along, I didn't expect to have a stronger bond with her, to love her more."
Amanda just stared at her 'mother' in disbelief. She just couldn't think straight at the moment. "I have to go; I can't do this right now." Amanda moved towards the door to leave but stopped when she heard her mother call her name.
"Manda, this is why we never told you. It turns people lives upside down and causes so much unnecessary trouble and problems within the family." Ms. Rollins said moving towards Amanda.
Amanda shook her head, "Are you kidding me, our family had way bigger problems than this. And kids are told this bit of information when they're young. Even Noah, my Captain's son knows he's adopted, and his life isn't turned upside down." Amanda ran a hand through her hair, "I have to go, I have some where to be." Amanda said as she left the apartment without another word. When she got into her car Amanda finally let go and allowed the tears to fall. She didn't know what to do, there was so much going through her mind. She wanted to know who her birth mother was and why she gave her up. Then there was the question of who her father was and if she had siblings out there. She then remembered how she could find out, but first she had an appointment to get to. After cleaning her face with a tissue, Amanda started her car and drove off.
~SVU~
Dr. Thompson opened the door allowing her patient to enter. "Thanks for coming in." Dr. Thompson said as she closed her office door. "Please take a seat." She said pointing to a chair in front of her desk, before taking a seat herself behind her desk. "Once again thanks for coming in on short notice."
"It's not a problem, you caught me when I have a three-day weekend. Plus, it sounded important over the phone." Her patient said.
"Well first enjoy your time off, you deserve it. The reason I wanted you to come in so soon was because I have your test results in." Dr. Thompson said holding up a blue folder.
Her patient took a shaky breath, "What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing besides being pregnant, congratulations." Dr. Thompson said watching the shock on her patient face turn into disbelief.
They shook their head, "That's not possible, I can't be." They said, still in disbelief.
Dr. Thompson gave them a small smile, "It's possible, you're pregnant and looking at the levels of your hormones you're probably almost seven to eight weeks." Dr. Thompson said seeing her patient process the information. "I've already contacted Dr. Davies your OB doctor who wants you to come in tomorrow around noon. Will that work for you?" Dr. Thompson asked.
"Yeah, that's fine." She said still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she was pregnant. That would explain the slight weight gain recently, she thought to herself.
"Good, here's a script for prenatal vitamins. I'm sure Dr. Davies will go over more information with you tomorrow." Dr. Thompson added.
Her patient took the script into their hands, "Thanks." She said as she stood. "Is there anything else?"
Dr. Thompson shook her head, "No, that's it. Try and enjoy the rest of your day and time off. I'm sure everything will be just fine." Dr. Thompson said reassuring them and receiving a nod from her patient before watching them leave her office. She knew her patient was excited but at the moment they were worried and scared. She understood why they felt that way but was hopeful that everything will be fine.
~SVU~
Amanda stood outside the M.E's office, her will power to knock was quickly fading. She wasn't one hundred percent sure if she really wanted to do this, but her curiosity was winning at the moment. She finally knocked on the door. When she heard 'come in' she opens the door revealing Warner who was typing away at her computer. "Hey Melinda."
Melinda glanced up from her computer, "Detective Rollins, I hope you're not here for the results of the rape kit, because it's not finished yet." Melinda stated. As much as she loved the dedication of the SVU detectives, it also annoyed her to no end when they try to rush her for the results.
Amanda shook her head as she closed the door and approached the desk. "No, this is personal. I know you may not really like me especially since I'm always questioning your findings."
"Amanda you're not the first nor the last that will question my results." Melinda said interrupting Amanda. "In fact, Olivia and her ex-partner Stabler would sometimes question my findings. I even had to talk to Cragen about it." Melinda said reassuring the young detective.
Amanda nodded, "I can definitely see Olivia doing that." Amanda said with a small laugh.
Melinda chuckled, "You have no idea, so what's the personal favor?" Melinda asked wanting to get to the reason why the detective came to see her.
For a second Amanda was going to change her mind but pushed that thought aside. "Is it possible if you could run my DNA through the system?" Amanda asked nervously.
Melinda tilted her head to the side slightly confused about the request. "Why?"
Amanda was hoping Melinda wouldn't ask why, but she also understood why she asked at the same time. "Um…today my mother revealed to me that I was adopted."
Melinda nodded in understanding, knowing why Amanda wanted her DNA ran now. "You were born in Georgia, correct?"
"Actually no, I was born here in New York. I know it may be a long shot but I'm hoping that something will pop. But I'll understand if you don't feel comfortable in doing it." Amanda hoped that Melinda would agree though.
Melinda stood up and proceeded to make her way to the door. "Give me a minute." Melinda said simply before leaving Amanda alone in her office. A couple minutes later Melinda returned, "Open wide," Melinda said.
Amanda looked up slightly confused until she saw the oral swap in Melinda's hand, so she did as she was told and opened wide. Melinda swapped her cheek before sticking it in a tube and closing it. "Give me a day or two for the results."
Amanda nodded, "Thanks Melinda, I really appreciate it very much." Amanda said as she made her way out of the office with Melinda behind her.
"Olivia must have told you that this is how she found Simon." Melinda said knowing Olivia was the only person who has ever asked her to do something like this.
Amanda bobbed her head, "When her brother died a couple of months ago, she revealed how she found Simon. So, when my mother told me that I was adopted, I thought maybe I could do the same thing in hopes of finding my birth mother." Amanda explained.
Melinda gave Amanda a small smile, "I'll run the DNA and hopefully something will pop within a couple of days." Melinda said before walking away.
Amanda let out a breath as she made her way out of the building welcoming the crisp air that greeted her. She wasn't sure why but there was one person she wanted to talk to about what has happened today. Maybe it was because she considered this person a close friend, in fact she was one of the few close friends she had and at the moment she needed a friend. Before she could even reach the car, her phone vibrated and looking at the text she sighed in disappointment when she realized she'll have to stop at the precinct first.
~SVU~
Olivia looked up from her laptop when there was a knock at her door. Setting her laptop on top of the coffee table and removing her glasses Olivia stood up and made her way to the door. After looking through the peephole Olivia opened the door revealing one of her best friends. "Hey Melinda, come in." Olivia said as she stepped to the side allowing Melinda to enter before closing and locking the door.
After they moved to the living room Melinda glanced up at her friend as she clutched two envelops in her hand. "Sorry to bother you on your day off but this couldn't wait." Melinda said.
"It's fine Mel, but what exactly couldn't wait?" Olivia asked curiously.
"First, where's Noah?" Melinda inquired.
Olivia raised an eyebrow, "He is at a sleepover, won't be back until Sunday, why?"
"Because we need to have a long conversation and I need you to be completely honest with me Liv." Melinda said as she removed her coat and stepping closer to her friend.
Olivia ran a hand through her hair as she was becoming slightly nervous. "Ok, lets sit down on the couch." Olivia said as they moved and sat down. "Do you want something to drink?"
Melinda shook her head 'no' as she fiddled with the envelopes in her hand as she took a deep breath. "Did you have a baby girl thirty-five years ago?" Melinda asked directly watching her longtime friend closely.
Olivia's breath hitched at the mentioned of her baby girl, she wrapped her arms around herself. Olivia nodded as she licked her lips before whispering, "Yeah, why?" Olivia asked as she tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall.
Melinda saw the pain in Olivia's eyes at the mention of her baby girl. "I know who she is," Melinda stated.
Olivia took a shaky breath, "H-How?" Olivia stuttered out.
Before Melinda could respond there was another knock at the door. Olivia wiped away the tears that had escaped before standing up. Olivia looked at her friend and that's when she noticed the envelopes in her hand. "Give me a second," Olivia said as she moved towards the door opening it. "Manda," Olivia breathed out.
"Sorry to bother you Liv, but um…I really need to talk to someone right now." Amanda asked on the verge of breaking down.
Olivia moved to allow Amanda to step fully into the apartment, "Melinda is here right now, just give me a minute to finish up with her." Olivia said as they moved towards the living room. "I'll grab you a bottle of water." Olivia said as she moved towards the kitchen to grab the bottle of water for Amanda.
Amanda glanced over at Melinda, "Hey Melinda." Amanda said as she gratefully took the bottle of water from Olivia.
Melinda gave a slight nod before holding out one of the envelopes she had to Amanda. Melinda turned her head to face Olivia as she spoke. "I have the results of your maternity test you asked for." Melinda said as she continued to stare at Olivia who was slowly realizing what Melinda was saying.
Amanda took the envelope gingerly, staring at it before slowly opening the envelope, oblivious to the realization that was happening with Olivia. Amanda gently pulled out the paper that would tell her who her birth mother was. When she read the name, she couldn't believe it. "Are you sure?" Amanda asked Melinda.
Melinda nodded, "Right after you left this afternoon, I immediately handed the sample to one of my technicians to run it. Within an hour she came to my office to let me know that there was a hit. I didn't believe it either, so I ran it again myself to be absolutely sure and got the same results." Melinda said as she glanced over at Olivia who was watching Amanda's every move and reaction, "According to the DNA results…Olivia…is your birth mother."
TBC