tell me you want to dance (because i kind of want it too)
The disco lights danced off the walls, like little thieves evading capture. So, this was a usual night in Madridpoor, Bucky surmised, glancing around at the drunken crowd (Zemo among them) swaying gaily to the loud upbeat music. With his metal arm leaning against the bar, he slowly sipped his single-malt scotch, as they waited for a lead from Sharon.
"You good?" Sam asked, seated beside him.
Finishing his drink, Bucky put down the bottle, fingers impatiently strumming on the wood. A faint crease appeared above his eyebrows. "Yeah", he replied. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Sam fixed him with his piercing gaze. Bucky noticed his arms were folded, his drinks untouched. Sam went on, "When we went to meet Selby…you seemed…rattled."
Bucky pursed his lips and reached for Sam's drink.
Sam went on, still looking intently at Bucky, "Zemo's testing you. He was trying to trigger you, set you off."
It didn't take much for him to fall back into form.
Bucky took a long sip before answering. "And you think I haven't noticed?"
Sam shook his head. "I meant…I know it wasn't easy, pretending to be the Winter Soldier."
The nightmares resurfaced, swam in front of Bucky's eyes, and then faded, drowned out by the music and the lights. He opened his mouth as if to say something, offer an explanation, and then closed it.
"I'm worried, Bucky. I want to know if you're okay…"
His voice seemed to emanate from the ends of a very long tunnel, and Bucky had to struggle to hear him through the din.
Seventeen. Rusted. Longing. Freight-
He let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Sam". He cleared his throat. "I'm not the Winter Soldier anymore." Then, a grimace as he whispered, "But a part of him is still in there, asleep."
Sam edged forward, bringing his chair closer to Bucky's.
Bucky rasped. "And I'm afraid he may one day wake up again."
Before he knew it, Sam's hands were on his metal arm, rubbing it gently. He closed his eyes. "It's alright". His heartbeat escalated. "Zemo tried but he isn't waking up today."
He gave Sam a small smile which he hoped was sincere enough.
Hell, sometimes even smiling was difficult.
But it seemed to work on Sam. "I know", he replied with a smile of his own, "Just looking out for my friend."
"Co-worker", Bucky corrected automatically. He laughed- a little uneasily.
Sam gave his arm another gentle pat and reached for his drink on the table, which he then realized that Bucky had already taken. Shaking his head, he gestured to the bartender to get him another one.
"And one for me", Bucky chimed in.
"It's the serum, Sam", he offered by way of explanation. "It makes it difficult for us to get drunk easily."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Should ask Thor to get some of that sweet Asgardian mead then."
"Oh that shit should knock me out."
Just then, two girls brushed past them. One of them even pointed to Bucky and excitedly announced to her friend, "Oh look! Isn't that the Winter Soldier?"
Her friend nodded enthusiastically, gawking at Bucky. "Yes, it is! Do you want to dance with us?"
Sam sniggered. "Looks like you're still in demand, huh?"
The faintest shade of pink clung to Bucky's cheeks. He looked wildly from a grinning Sam to the eager girls and added awkwardly, "Uh, not right now?"
The girls giggled and exchanged understanding looks and happily drifted off, whispering about a "boyfriend".
It took Bucky a solid minute before he figured they were talking about Sam.
Sam, who was sitting very close to him, their legs touching, completely unperturbed while Bucky was pretty sure he'd turned pink.
Looking away, he absentmindedly reached for his drink, but his hand landed on Sam's fingers on the table. "Sorry", he said weakly, quickly letting go and this time, correctly grabbing the beer bottle.
"Not gonna lie, I took you to be quite the dancer like our friend Zemo over there."
Bucky glanced at Zemo who seemed to be dancing to a beat of his own. He looked strangely peaceful, Bucky thought and a small thread of wistfulness uncurled in his heart.
Haven't danced…since 1943…feels like.
"You weren't wrong", he intoned. "At least, back in the day when I danced…and stuff."
Then he added a little smugly, "I am much better than him."
Sam laughed. Bucky felt a little light-headed. Surely it wasn't the drink-
"And now you've got cold feet, Buck?"
It mildly annoyed him when Sam called him that. It was Steve's nickname for him, not a moniker that anyone could pick up. But lately, Sam…
He shrugged. "The music's just not right."
Yeah, and what were the chances of a swanky bar in a near-secret island that seemed straight out of the pages of a cyberpunk novel, to be playing some distant retro tune that he liked?
Zilch. Nada. Absolutely none.
So he quickly put out the image that had suddenly come to mind, unannounced.
Sam eyed him curiously. Bucky averted his gaze to finish his drink. The bartender quickly arrived with two more.
"Well, we're stuck here until Sharon locates Nagel for us."
Bucky wondered if Sam was trying to tactfully change the subject or imply something else with the first bit of that sentence. But it wasn't the time to act on impulses, and so he looked away.
"Yeah, god knows just how much serum that man created. Zemo's going to have a field day."
Was it just his mind or did Sam look the tiniest bit disappointed in him?
"It's insane, yeah. Hopefully, we'll find out how Karli got the stuff and we'll be one step closer to stopping her."
A thought, unbidden and unwanted crossed Bucky's mind. (No- Sam wouldn't- ) It had been a while since he'd had one of those. Wakanda had done him good, but-
Bucky cleared his throat. "Sam, I need you to ask you something."
Sam immediately perked up, setting down his drink. "Go on."
"Does it bother you…that I have the serum…flowing in my veins? That like Karli and her gang, I'm also a-"
"No!" Sam answered, without hesitation. "Why would it? Even Steve had the serum."
"Yeah." Bucky's voice was soft, strained. "But I'm not Steve."
"Look mate, the first time we met, you tried to kill me."
Bucky opened his mouth, but Sam shut him up. "But then I saw how much Steve believed in you. In this crazy-ass assassin who kicked me off a helicarrier. And if it hadn't been for that same crazy-ass assassin, Steve would've drowned."
"Well, I kind of put him there in the first place, before pulling him out-"
"Exactly, my point. You pulled him out. The Winter Soldier couldn't have done that. Only Bucky could."
When Bucky didn't answer, Sam went on. "I don't think the serum is something that makes you good or bad. And the kind of person that you are, that may not always depend upon you. The circumstances, the environment-"
Bucky flinched but Sam continued, "HYDRA created the Winter Soldier, not you. And Karli well, who knows who she could've been if the GRC never forced people into the resettlement camps? Putting all the blame on Karli for what the Flag Smashers are doing, without…even trying to understand why the Flag Smashers were formed in the first place…"
Sam shook his head. "To cut a long story short, Bucky, I'm not in the least bothered that you had the serum or that you were once the Winter Soldier. Whoever that was, you were never that person. And that's all that matters."
A slow tingling warmth spread across Bucky's chest. He reached for Sam's hand and softly squeezed it. Sam didn't let go.
Instead, he looked at him meaningfully. "And Zemo or anyone else can't get into my head to convince me otherwise."
Bucky nodded slowly, believing him.
But Sam wasn't done explaining. He spoke as if he'd nearly solved a puzzle and was just left wanting for the missing final piece. "It's why I want to speak to Karli if I'm being honest. I get her cause, what she's fighting for. The fact that she's a Super Soldier doesn't bother me but the way she killed all those civilians, that's what escapes me. How can you want a free world for everyone and kill innocent people at the same time?"
Bucky was too much of a cynic to have an answer to that other than "humans can't be trusted". But that might be hurtful for Sam to hear. "Maybe she doesn't want a world that's free."
"That's just our world, mate. Then there isn't really a reason for her to keep fighting?"
Perhaps Sam had a point.
"We'll find that out, soon enough."
"I daresay we will." Sam let on a confident smile.
But Bucky's thoughts were spiraling. Karli was important, yes, but there was a more important question he needed an answer to. "So…you trusted me because you thought Steve was right about me? Or you right about Steve?"
He hoped his voice sounded casual, not desperate.
Sam looked at him thoughtfully. "Maybe at first. But then I met you…and I realized I was right about you, too."
Something akin to guilt flitted across Sam's face, but it was only for a moment. It was something Bucky unconsciously picked up on, having seen that look too often in the mirror.
Sam looked at him, waiting for an answer.
He wasn't going to ask Sam about it, not when Sam just admitted that he'd been right about him. Right now, he needed to desperately believe that.
With the softest of smiles, Bucky replied, "Thanks."
That was it. They didn't need to talk about it or anything else, for that matter.
Just then, a Marvin Gaye song came on the stereo.
What the-
What were the chances of a swanky bar in Madridpoor to suddenly play the Trouble Man soundtrack?
Sam got off the barstool, making his way to join the crowd.
Bucky called after him. "Where you off to?"
"To dance. Trouble Man's my favorite-"
Right. Bucky would have to take some drastic action.
"Yeah, wait. I never said I hated it."
For about three seconds, they looked eye to eye. Bucky half-seated, a drink in hand, while Sam standing near the dance floor.
Oh, this would be awkward.
Bucky gave him a little, flirty smile. "I mean I can dance to it, I suppose."
Sam returned that smile with a laugh. "Took you long enough."
It was so easy, Bucky realized, to fall back into the groove, to sway to the beats of the song with Sam matching his steps. He felt young as he hadn't in years, as though he were back in the 1940s, on a night out dancing with Steve and the girls, the war still a faraway ship on the horizon.
All that Winter Soldier madness might've never happened.
After all this time, he was finally free. At least, in this precious moment caught in the tune of a familiar song.
Finally free…to do what?
To dance.
It felt so nice, Bucky thought, to dance with Sam in a nightclub whose name he'd already forgotten, in a distant corner of the world. Yes, the song would end and any minute now Sharon might show up interrupting this quaint little moment, but Bucky felt content like he could breathe after being in the water for too long.
"Never took you to be a dancer, Sam."
Sam scoffed. "As if you aren't full of surprises yourself."
Bucky could feel himself dissolving, his metal fingers curled within Sam's and his other hand on Sam's waist, their feet tapping in perfect sync.
The song played on.
*
Later, on their flight back to Latvia, with Sam snoring next to him, Bucky wondered if an eavesdropping Zemo had anything to do with a sudden change in the music.
~
Author's Note: If Marvel could give us a one-hour loop of Zemo dancing, why not the #SamBucky cut? Heresy!
Anyway, I'm considering turning this into a series of missing scenes from TFATWS.
If you liked reading this, please let me know (it would mean the world to me). I'm open to any feedback, prompts, asks, etc. And I'm on tumblr as ladyofthelake666, so come say hi and join the madness!