A/N: Hey! This is going to start out with the episodes 'Crusade' and 'Next of Kin.' After the first chapter, I will keep going into the episodes until the end of season 4. I'm not sure how long this story will be (probably 5 chapters), I guess that will depend on what we see in the final episodes. Anyways, it will focus on Chris and Street. This chapter will be his POV, and then I will alternate to hers in the next chapter. Thank you, and please review!

To Street, and the rest of 20-squad, the past week has been… well the only way to describe it is complete and utter hell.

It all started with chasing a group of extremists, which led to the Imperial Duke's compound. What was supposed to be a normal mission for the team, ended up being the most tragic one they had ever encountered.

They entered from the four-side. Hondo leading the way, followed by Chris, who kicked the door in to get them inside. Street was right behind Chris until he branched off to the left. Hondo and Tan were with him, while Chris and Erika kept going straight.

"This is 26-David, no sign of the suspect." Street's adrenaline was pumping as they cleared the front rooms, knowing they were going to find the suspect somewhere in this house. They moved forward, guns at the ready. Street could faintly hear Hondo and Tan's breathing behind him.

"24-David! We have movement on the stairs!" Chris' voice was urgent, and Street and the others quickly moved towards her position.

Before they got upstairs, multiple gunshots rang through the air, and Street almost stopped breathing because he knew Chris was in the middle of it.

"Shots fired, coming from the attic!" More shots rang out. "He's above us, somewhere in the ceiling."

Street and Tan ascended the stairs, behind Hondo, who kicked in a door leading to the rest of their team.

"What's happening?" The commander's voice called over their radios.

Chris' response was a shout "He's in the attic! We need cover!"

Finally Street and the others reached Chris and Erika. By this point, those shots had turned into a full-blown firefight with the assailant above them.

The team took cover where they could. Street was just outside the doorway, but he had lost count of all the shots coming trough the ceiling. He kept his rifle trained upwards, returning fire.

"Ah, I'm hit!" It was Tan.

Street, now worried about his friend, ceased fire long enough to take a look. It appeared to be his leg, but there was no way medics could enter the house.

"EMTs and an ambulance are standing by. Tell me when you're code-four for entry."

"I'll cover you, go, go!" Hondo instructed Erika and Chris to get Tan outside, and Street retook position to help provide cover-fire.

Bullets continued to fly from the ceiling for a few more minutes as Chris and Erika got Tan to safety, but just as Street was about to move again, the shots from above stopped.

"Cease fire!"

Looking at several of the, now red, bullet holes, it appeared their suspect was down. Street moved with Hondo to the entrance of the attic. He held his position, rifle pointed to the ceiling, as Hondo threw in a flash-bang grenade.

"Suspect down. Clear for entry."

Street let out a sigh of relief. It was over, and now they could go check on Tan. Rushing towards the door, he could already hear a commotion. Panic set in as he thought Tan may have been worse than initially expected… but when he got outside, he could see Tan leaning up against the fence.

"Erika!" It was Chris, and she had Erika laying on the ground, starting CPR. "Come on!"

Medics rushed forward, and everything was a blur of activity. Street assumed Erika had gotten shot, and all he could think was thank God Chris was safe.

After a while of Erika not responding to CPR, the shock began to set in for Street. That was their friend lying there, and she wasn't going to make it. She had seemed fine helping Chris get Tan out of the house, but Street knew adrenaline could be one hell of a force.

The medic stepped back, apologizing, saying there was nothing she could do. Chris begged her to keep trying, even re-started CPR herself… but Erika was gone.

Street felt a lump forming in his throat. The team had just lost a member, a friend, and he didn't really know how it had all happened. He was still relieved, because he knew Chris was okay, but devastation also began to overtake him.

He watched as Hondo pulled Chris away from Erika's body… and he knew right then, no matter how distraught he and the rest of the team were, Chris was suffering that much worse.

Street didn't know what to do as Hondo relayed the news to everyone over the radio. He thought about going over to Chris, but she took off after Hicks when he said he needed to notify Erika's sister. Soon after that, FID showed up, and Street couldn't be around anyone, due to protocol. He found a patrol car that was away from everyone else, and sank down against it. He knew Tan was being tended to by medics, and though his injury looked superficial, he couldn't help but worry after seeing what happened to Erika.

Everything went so wrong, so fast, and right now, Street couldn't wrap his head around it. He didn't know how long he sat there waiting on FID to take his statement, but the whole time, his thoughts kept jumping back to Chris. He knew she was hurting, and he desperately wanted to comfort her. He was just so glad she wasn't injured. Of course, he was upset, and angry about Erika, but if that had been Chris… Street shook his head, stopping himself from finishing that thought.

He felt guilty over his relief because Erika didn't deserve to die. She was his friend, he really liked and respected her… this was all just too much to comprehend.

SWATSWAT

Two hours later, the team was back at HQ. It was only long enough to get changed and grab what they needed before going home. Everyone was drained, physically and emotionally.

Street still didn't get to talk to Chris. By the time he got changed, she was already gone, and wasn't answering her phone. He even drove by her apartment, but wasn't surprised when he didn't see her truck there. Seeing as how it was where she lived with Erika, it was no wonder why she wouldn't go back there right now.

Street was worried about her, but he also thought she might need some time to herself to grieve, so he drove home.

The house was quiet. Luca was still in Germany, and Molly was at work. Molly had been staying there a good bit while Luca was gone, but right now, Street was glad the place was empty. Maybe it would give him some time to process.

With that thought in mind, he grabbed a cold beer from the fridge, then went to his room to crash on the bed. He could feel a headache coming on, and at this point he wasn't sure if it was from the earlier gunfire, or the stress… most likely a mix of both.

Street didn't know how long he laid there, alternating between staring at the wall, and staring at the back of his eyelids, but however long it was didn't do anything to calm his mind.

SWATSWAT

"Jim?" Molly's voice came from the living room.

Street felt bad for thinking it, but he kind of wished she'd gone to her place this evening. His mind was still running a hundred miles per hour, and he really just needed the solitude.

"Jim?"

Street came out of his bedroom, and Molly was standing in front of the closed door. "Hey." He tried to giver her a small smile, but he just couldn't force himself. Without another word, he simply sank down on the couch.

Molly walked over and stood in front of him. "What's wrong?"

"Have you not seen any of the news today?"

"No. I told you I had to be in court today, testifying about th-"

"Right."

Molly made a face, and Street assumed it was because she didn't like being interrupted. He just couldn't deal with small-talk. "We went on a raid today… it all went to hell."

Molly sat down beside of him on the couch. "What happened?"

"Erika… she went with us, and she got shot. She didn't make it." His voice was barely above a whisper, but judging by Molly's gasp, he knew she had heard him.

"I'm sorry. She was a friend of yours, wasn't she?"

"Yeah, of the whole team."

"Did you catch who did it?"

"He was shot and killed." Street didn't want to get into it about the Imperial Dukes, so he left it at that.

"Erika seemed like a really good person. I'm so sorry."

Street only nodded. Sorry didn't change how things went down on the raid, it didn't erase the whole day… but most of all, it didn't bring Erika back. "You know what, I think I'm going to go for a run… try and clear my head."

"O-oh okay. I guess I'll take a shower and start dinner. What would you like?"

"I'm not really hungry, don't worry about anything for me."

Molly looked like she was going to say something else, but Street was already up and heading for the door. He slipped on his tennis shoes, and pocketed his phone and keys. Before he knew it, he was taking off down the road in fast-paced jog. It was hot outside, the sun still out despite it being nearly 7:30 in the evening. It didn't take long for him to start sweating and his clothes to stick to his body. Normally a run like this was therapeutic for Street. He enjoyed the way it alleviated his stress, but right now, he didn't think even this would help. Regardless, he stayed out for a while. Whenever his thoughts became too much to handle, he would speed up his pace until his body ached. He ran until he physically couldn't anymore. Only then did he make the trek back to the house.

Stepping inside, he took note of the clock on the wall. It read 9:55, and Street was surprised that he was out for so long. Molly was sitting on the couch, her cell phone in her hand. "I tried calling you."

"I guess my phone was on silent." That was a lie. He had felt it buzz, but didn't stop to even pull it out of his pocket.

"Jim, I was worried."

"Sorry, but I'm fine. I'm going to shower, then I'm going to bed." Making his way to the bathroom, Street knew he should probably apologize to Molly. After all, none of this was her fault, and she was worried, but at this point, the slightest thing could very well set him off.

He stripped out of his sticky clothes, and stepped under the warm spray. It felt nice on his aching muscles, and was the only true measure of comfort he had felt all day. He closed his eyes, hands against the wall, and the water beating down on his back. Despite his best efforts, his mind started to wander. He hoped Tan was doing okay, and he knew Hondo was blaming himself for everything that happened… but most of all, he wished he knew how Chris was doing. He wished he knew where she was staying, and that she was safe.

Street couldn't count how many times he replayed the raid in his head, but he once again lost track of time. He barely noticed the cold water biting at his skin, but he knew it was time to get out. Quickly drying off, he pulled on a t-shirt and sweatpants. There probably wasn't any chance of sleep tonight, but he could at least try.

When he got to the bedroom, most of the lights in the house were off. Molly was already in bed asleep, so he crawled in carefully, not wanting to disturb her. He didn't realize how exhausted he truly was until his head hit the pillow. After that, it was off to a very restless sleep.

SWATSWAT

Well, it was the day of the funeral, and Street didn't know if he had ever dreaded something so much. He knew today would be miserable on a lot of people. He didn't know Erika's family, he had met her sister once, but that was it. Still, his heart hurt for all of them. He remembered what it was like at his brother's funeral, and no family should have to go through that.

And then there were the teams. Both 20-Squad and 50-Squad had lost a member, a friend, and Street knew everyone was still reeling from it. Everyone was still trying to figure out how it all went wrong, and if any of it could have been prevented… but now on top of that, it was the day to lay Erika to rest.

Most of all, Street couldn't keep his thoughts from straying to Chris. He hadn't been able to speak to her since it happened, and he just wanted to make sure she was coping. Grief was such a powerful emotion, and he didn't want Chris to drown in hers.

She didn't answer any of his calls, or most of his texts either. The only reply he had gotten was a simple 'fine' when he texted asking how she was doing. He knew it was a lie, but he wasn't going to push. That would just make it worse, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Maybe today he would finally get to see how she was really doing.

Street got dressed in his nice clothes, and waited for Molly to do the same. They were going to the funeral together, then to their respective jobs. Even though it was going to be Street's first day back, he, nor the rest of the team that was there that day, was allowed into the field. He figured that was a good thing. With everyone grieving, they couldn't be sure of having their heads on straight.

It was a quick drive to the service, and Street didn't really remember any of it. All too soon, he was surrounded by grieving and distraught faces. Looking for his team, he found them dispersed throughout the large crowd. His eyes landed on Chris. She was standing beside of Erika's sister, tears streaming down both of their faces. The sight broke Street's heart.

It ended up being a beautiful service for Erika, so many people showing their love for her… there wasn't a dry eye there. Afterwards Street and Molly went back to the house and got changed. She offered to drive him into HQ and he agreed. He was silent the whole drive over, not really sure what to expect for this upcoming shift.

Molly kept glancing over at him, and he knew she was worried, but he just couldn't bring himself to reassure her. They arrived at HQ, and Street took in a deep breath. After a quick 'see you later,' he was exiting the car.

"Jim!"

Street turned around, and saw Molly standing there with his backpack.

"You forgot this."

He grabbed the bag and shouldered it. "Thanks, sorry."

"You've been distracted lately. I know you said it's because of Erika, but I can't help but feel there's more to it. I can tell there's something on your mind, you've been tossing in your sleep."

"Look, I'm just worried about the team…" Street paused, hearing a car door. It was Chris, and he couldn't help but follow her with his eyes. She kept her head down, though, so he couldn't get a good read on her expression. After she entered HQ, Street turned back to Molly. "Everybody's taking this really hard… especially Chris. Don't worry, I'll be fine, but I've got to go."

"Okay."

Street turned to go inside.

"Love you."

"Yeah, love you too." He almost felt bad saying that, because deep down he wasn't sure that he meant those words. He entered the building and went to clock in. Chris was talking to Hicks, and Street could tell she was upset by whatever was being said. He wanted to talk to her, and tried following her out of the Eagle's Nest, but by then, Hondo was telling him to get to the locker room and change.

He sighed, knowing his conversation with Chris would just have to wait.

SWATSWAT

Pulling up at Chris' apartment, Street couldn't shake the slight feeling of nervousness that was forming. He desperately wanted to see her, and make sure she was doing alright, but he was also planning on making a big confession… and he didn't know how that would turn out.

Honestly, he knew his timing was probably off, but after the last three days, he knew there was always the possibility that he might not get to say this another time. That terrified him. Even though this might not have been the best idea, the thoughts of never telling Chris his true feelings, scared the hell out of him. So, with a deep breath, Street took the stairs to Chris' floor, and found apartment 603 . He knocked, and heard movement on the other side of the door.

Chris must've been expecting Erika's sister because Street heard her call out "I'm coming, Latasha!" When she opened the door, Street's heart broke all over again. Her face was streaked with tear stains, and her eyes were filled with more sadness than he'd ever seen. "Um, I thought you were Erika's sister."

Street nodded and gestured towards the apartment. "Can I come in?"

Chris opened the door farther, and stepped aside.

Street took that as an invitation to enter, so he did and took a stand next to the table. "So, I wanted to see how you're doing."

"I, uh, I'm dealing." Her hands were stuck in her pockets, and she seemed to have trouble meeting his eyes. "None of this is fair, Street. Erika shouldn't have… she didn't deserve this."

"No, she didn't, and it's not fair. I hate it… and I've hated myself for the past three days. I've been tossing and turning in my sleep because it's been weighing on me."

Chris looked up with questioning eyes. "What has?"

"The other day, when I saw Erika on the ground, initially I didn't feel sadness or shock. It was just relief… because it wasn't you. Chris, if you were the one that took that bullet, and I lost you, there's no way I would have recovered."

Her gaze was focused on the floor, and Street wasn't sure if her not responding was a good or bad thing.

There was no going back now. "Chris, listen, I know that our situation is impossible. I was driving back to Molly when I came here instead. Being with her feels wrong.."

"Stop."

"..because all I think about is being with you."

Chris shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "Why are you telling me this? Please go." She started ushering him to the door.

"Chris."

"Just leave." She opened the door, and Street paused just outside.

"Chris."

She looked at him with the most broken look he had ever seen. "Just please go." She shut the door in his face before he even had the chance to apologize.

He stood there for a few moments, just staring at the closed door, and picturing Chris on the other side. Street could've kicked himself. He knew when he got there that it was most likely a bad idea, but he just had to tell Chris. He hadn't meant to push her, but he was afraid that was exactly what he had done.

Street loved Chris, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt, if she hadn't kicked him out, he would have told her that.