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*revised version to 'Un Pétrin sans Espoir: how delightful'.
Unlike the former fanfic, this WILL NOT precede 'Starless Sky'.
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[UPBEAT DENIAL]
Chapter One: Present Unravelling
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Awkward vibes.
Those are the two words that best describe this gathering.
I'm one of the six surrounding the dining table. And, out of these six, four of us make up the soon-to-be Bridal party.
Before you ask it, the answer is 'no'. I'm not the one getting married; my older brother, Yamato, is.
Both he and his fiancée are the ones behind tonight's dinner. Yamato claims that it's for my 'Welcome Back to Japan' mini party, but I already called bullshit on him ever since I saw a photo of him in my IG feed on one knee, finally proposing to my sister-in-law. I'm not even calling Sora my future sister-in-law because I've been already calling her by the nickname ever since the couple started dating.
While I'm slam dunk in between Yamato and his fiancée, across the table is another couple - Taichi and Mimi.
Taichi's our childhood friend, and my brother's best friend. Taichi's got this natural aura, making him approachable to almost everybody. What you see is what you get with him. When I was younger, there were times I'd even wish he was my brother instead. Although it's been years since I've last seen him, he's still the same as ever. Not as energetic, but still good fun and always willing to lend a hand whenever I'd throw impudent remarks at Yamato. Taichi's not as talkative tonight. He's been constantly zoning out, avidly scrutinising the television behind me at the live soccer broadcast.
Next to him is his wife, Mimi. She befriended my brother and Taichi through Sora. Taichi started dating her a handful of years after I left for France. Even though I don't know much about her, I feel like I do. Whenever I'd get bouts of homesickness, I'd investigate and stalk my old Japanese friends. She'd frequently pop up on my friends' social media. She's one of those people who is friends with everybody. And that's how I knew of Mimi before I met her.
I can see why she's a good fit with Tai. If you ask me, he's scored it with her. From the minor interactions I've had with her, she's proved to be amazing. Mimi is bubbly, a natural entertainer, and bakes cakes in her spare time. How can anybody not like that? And she's quite the looker too - long wavy brown hair, big caramel eyes and dimples digging on each side of her cheeks. If she was single, I would have shot my shot.
Proving true to her entertainer personality, I've lost count of the amount of times she's refilled my wine glass tonight. She's made this dinner bearable with her abundant source of topics, from how she hated my brother for stealing Sora from her, to how she once considered becoming a porn star (they get paid a lot, Takeru). God Bless this woman.
From Taichi and Mimi being here, it's obvious that it is anything but my 'welcome home' dinner. It's not that I have anything against them - it's just that they're considered to be Yamato's friends more than mine. Besides, if this dinner was meant to be about me, dad would have been invited too.
Taichi's sister is sitting on his other side. Hikari Yagami. She's the last person that comprises this odd equation.
I've mentioned her last because there's nothing to say about her. I mean, what else is there to say? She's been contributing zero percent of tonight's conversation. Ever since arriving at Yamato's apartment, she's kept her head low, greeting everybody and one courtesy nod to me.
A nod. One single nod.
That's all I am to her now. And you know what? I don't blame her.
The only person she's made an effort to exchange comments with has been Sora. I couldn't exactly hear her voice because she'd intentionally speak quietly so nobody else could hear. Rude. Other than that, she seems to be enjoying Yamato's roast and occasionally taking a sip of Shiraz. She's concentrating, using her knife to cut the roast into fine, biteable pieces and focusing on her plate like her life depended on it.
She effortlessly does this whole 'ignoring thing' well.
I mean, I've always been a sucker for uptight women who don't give me the time of day. I like the chase. The intrigue gets me, and these women generally are freaky in sheets. It's the mystery and unattainability that never fails to excite me - that or I'm a masochist bitch.
However, this scenario does not apply to me and Hikari. She most definitely doesn't want me to chase her, and that does not bother me the slightest. What bothers me is our history.
"When will it be?" Taichi asks.
He's finally shifted his gaze from the television, darting his eyes at both Yamato and Sora respectively.
Sora sighs. "Can't you at least be excited for us?"
"Why?" Taichi chuckles. "You're practically the parents in our friendship group. You've dated each other longer than Mimi and I have, and we got married five years ago. Are you certain that you haven't passed your expiration date?"
Yamato rolls his eyes as Mimi simultaneously swats Taichi on the back of his head.
"He does have a point," I add my input.
My sister-in-law hisses, "You're not helping, Takeru."
"I think it's romantic," Mimi gushes. "Sora, I can't wait to plan your wedding! It's been a dream of mine. I've been looking forward to this day."
Although it's self-explanatory, Yamato and Sora brief us when the wedding will be (four months from now), where it is, who the Best Man and Maid of Honour is (Taichi and Mimi), then save the dates for dress measurements, rehearsals...and just a lot of random dates that I fail to retain. I know I'll have to ask Yamato again sometime after this dinner is over. He could have at least given paper for us to jot some notes on. My memory after business hours on a weeknight is absolute shit.
Throughout the rundown I hadn't missed Yamato sending me glances. Even though we're grown adults, he always tends to be concerned about every little thing related to me. His overprotectiveness had, instead, intensified over the years post our parent's divorce. One, because we got separated and weren't living under the same roof. Two, I moved to a different country and he hadn't had enough designated time to play that overprotective brother role.
After the important things are discussed, Hikari rises from the chair. She bids goodbye to everybody, proclaiming that her lift has arrived. I know I'm not the only one who has picked out that she's been standoffish all evening.
As soon as she's gone, Taichi comments, "I thought you guys still keep in touch?"
"Does that look like we do?" I bitterly laugh.
"We paired you up because you were best friends," Yamato mutters to me. "I thought it would be fine…"
Why can't everybody chill? If Hikari doesn't want to speak to me, so be it. I'll get her to talk to me eventually - I can be awfully irritating. Catherine reminds me of this trait of mine all the time. Just because Hikari's the source to the awkward vibes doesn't mean we're not going to make it difficult for Yamato and Sora's wedding preparations.
"Did something happen between you guys?" Sora frowns, continuing the train of thought that I'd rather abandon.
I simply reply, "Just a fall out."
It's not like I'm lying about it either. We did have a fall out. It's funny how things of the past can suddenly unravel in the present. These questions are old, or should have been asked a long time ago. However, it's not like they had the chance to ask me - and it's not like they would have known. I was on the other side of the world, and Hikari's a private kinda person.
"We'll be good," I say, grinning widely. "You're both people we care about. It is what it is. Hikari and I will deal. I can be civil? Take for example, this dinner. Not a drop of blood was spilt."
Mimi deadpans, "Perhaps because you didn't speak to each other?"
Ah, yes. Mimi can get away with calling me out on my bullshit because the rest don't know how to approach this prickly situation - especially Yamato. I know he's not going to let this go until he can physically see Hikari and I being all chummy.
I repeat, "And not a drop of blood was spilt."
Taichi laughs at this. Thank God for Taichi.
My brother, on the other hand, is not laughing. His worried glances have multiplied. Yups, he's not amused at all.
Before Sora brings out the freshly baked apple crumble for dessert, I excuse myself. I remind them that I live on the opposite side of Tokyo now, that it's a weeknight and that I've got to make dinner for my workaholic mother.
I give everybody a hug before I leave out the door. I'm still shrugging on my coat when I smell tobacco. A spiral of smoke floats into the dead air. My gaze trails after where it's coming from. The person holding the cigarette is Hikari.
She leans against the front fence, taking an indulgent drag.
For the first time tonight, I allow myself to stare at her. Maybe because she hasn't spoken to me all night, I hadn't brought myself to properly look her in the eye.
I would have never pictured this scene. If you had asked me two months ago, I would have laughed at your face. Moving back to Japan had never been on my bucket list, but sometimes life does take you by surprise.
Yet, here I am looking at my former best friend.
Her short hair falls well below her shoulders now. She wore a cream, frilly blouse that tucked under a grey pencil work skirt. Figure-fitting, and showing curves that I had never seen on her. She's still petite. Puberty hadn't helped her in the height department, but her high heels did. It throws me off that she's smoking - but what also throws me off is that she is also staring straight back at me.
We're both inspecting each other.
"I only do this when I'm stressed." Her lips thin out, tossing the cigarette onto the ground, and stubbing it with her shoe. "Don't tell Tai."
"So she speaks?" I remark, lips quirking upwards.
She folds her arms, leering at me. "You may be my partner for the wedding, but that doesn't mean we're on good terms."
There she is. This is the Hikari I'm more familiar with. It's good to know that she hasn't lost her spite and fierceness whenever she's riled up.
Although I had never predicted that I'd return to Japan, that doesn't mean I had never envisioned our reunion and how it would play out. Throughout dinner Hikari had been pulling a façade, keeping it cool but fuming on the inside. For some reason, I'm relieved she's directing her anger at me. When we were children, people perceived Hikari to be this innocent, unperturbed, modest girl - but around a select close few, she was anything but. She chooses who she'd speak her mind to, and sometimes she can be just about outspoken as Taichi.
"Can we build a bridge and get over this?" I say, completely aware that I'm pouring fuel into my own hell. "Isn't this confrontation a bit too delayed for our liking?"
"Do you blame me, Takeru? Of course I'm salty about this! Our friendship fucked over because you couldn't make the darn effort to make it work!" Hikari exclaims. Now that she was speaking truths, she had a whole dam to release on me.
"I know." I'm not even bothering denying her accusations. "Yeah, it was a dick move from my end."
"You invented 'ghosted' before it was even a word!"
"Well, we weren't technically seeing each other."
"That's besides the point!" She snaps at me. "You promised you'd keep in contact."
She's not lying there. I place my hands into the pockets of my jacket, scrunching my fingers into fists. If I were in her shoes, I'd be mad at me too. I deserve this. The racked up guilt I had towards Hikari had always stayed with me, but if I were to go back in time and do it again - I'd do it again. I had wanted to stay in contact with her, but I really had no choice. I had no regrets because I had to do what I had to do.
"Things...things got difficult." I give her a small smile, my shoulders suddenly feeling heavier.
From the look on her face, I know that she wants me to elaborate on this. I choose not to. A glimpse of fury shines in her eyes from my untelling response. Yeah, she's still hurt from this.
Strong, blinding headlights shine at us. I squint and see a black sports car sliding parallel to where we are. The window rolls down. "Kari-chan?"
I can't make out who the person is because I'm still recovering from the bright lights. The voice belonged to a guy - a voice I don't recognise. It's neither her father, Taichi or Daisuke. It could be her boyfriend?
Looking back at Hikari, I see that she's straightening up. She bends her knees slightly to pick up her purse from the ground, and as she rounds up to the vehicle I notice a small bounce in her stride. She cranes her head at me. "My lift's here."
I lift up a hand, waving. I know this won't be the last time I see her. I can't fix something like this overnight, and I really don't know if Hikari wants to fix this.
As she opens the shotgun door, my eyes adjust to the brightness. Before she sits down, her lips graze against the driver's cheek. This confirms my assumption that he's her partner.
I watch as the car zooms off.
Instead of heading to the train station, I turn right and make my way to a nearby bar.
I might have lied to the others when I said I'd be cooking for mother.
After almost burning our kitchen down to a crisp from toasting bread (I'm that bad), my mother has never permitted me to be within the radius of any kitchen. Besides, Kana's home. Kana's in charge of cooking in our small household. Because both my mother and Kana are home, I have the night off - which means I can take advantage of this mini freedom.
Especially after encountering Hikari, I definitely need a drink.
Not keeping a promise with a childhood friend is horrible - but I've done worse.
I'm an asshole, but that's who I am.
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(a/n) And I'm (finally) back with a somewhat new takari! This story has been on my mind for so many years, as it is a rewrite of 'Un Pétrin sans Espoir: how delightful'. Unlike the former fanfic, this WILL NOT precede 'Starless Sky'. Think of this story as its own. I never liked how the former fanfic was projected, so this revised version kept brewing in my mind. So here it is!
It will be fun writing Takeru again. I missed his character. My other ongoing story does not have Takeru because he's dead in that fanfic - so yes, it'll be exciting to have Takeru take centre stage in this one.
I hope you enjoy this story :)