The Two Brothers:
T.W: mentions of abuse.
Pacing.
That was all he could hear from his brother's room; it wasn't an uncommon sound in recent days. He closed his eyes and prayed that his brother did not disturb their mother with his constant movement. Her emotional equilibrium was … unstable most days, with her jumping into the deep end of fury quite easily; unleashing the mean, vicious streak she had. Her cane became her favourite form of beating as she aged, and unlike his brother, he had learned that being meek and keeping your mouth shut was key to not being walloped on the side of the face with the grotesque golden serpent that sat on the top of the cane.
Pacing.
He cast his eyes to the single wall the separated his room and that of his brother's. His side covered with memorabilia that his mother had hung up; his Slytherin house crest, a photo of him and the House Quidditch team. Mementos that should bring him happiness, but only brought him a sense of dread.
On the other side of that wall though, hung the Gryffindor house crest, pictures of scantily clad muggle women, and motorbikes. His brother's room, much like its occupant, was an entire 'fuck you' to their parents, specifically their mother.
Pacing.
He sighed heavily, lying back on his bed; it was only a matter of time before their mother stormed up the stairs in a blinding rage to punish his brother for making noise. Sixteen years he had been in this house, yet he never learned that being sent to their rooms straight after supper meant that staying quiet was important. There were … visitors downstairs that had to be entertained, and mother and father could not give off the impression that they had unruly children.
He shuddered in his bed, before deciding that he should try to convince his brother to at least stop the constant pacing.
Quietly swinging his legs off his bed, he placed his feet on the hard wooden floor. He stepped carefully and cautiously, after all these years he had memorised with floorboards creaked when he stepped on them so he could avoid them, but the house was old, and often times the floorboards began to creak from overuse.
He made his way slowly towards the heavy wooden door, his eyes trained down on the floor.
'Creek'
He winced, and did not dare move from his spot, listening to make sure he had not disturbed either of his parents. When he thought the coast was clear, he started to move again, allowing himself to release the breath he did not even know he was holding.
He gently grabbed a hold of the silver doorhandle, turning it slowly, trying to minimise the noise. His brother's pacing had, so far, gone unnoticed, so he was trying to minimise the amount of noise he was making.
He gently pushed the door open, praying that it would not creak open as it normally did. This time luck was on his side, and he silently slipped out of his room into the landing. It was dimly lit, save for the light from downstairs illuminating the outlines of the hall.
Not that he needed the light to know where he was going; the house was always dark, in more than one sense of the word. He knew how to get around this house with his eyes closed, he knew where to hide when he needed to.
He pressed his ear to his brother's door, still pacing.
Glancing towards the stairs, he heard a door open below him, which let the low murmurings of voices float up the stairs into the darkness. He froze, terrified that his mother may be coming up to quieten his brother, and he did not want to get caught; but moving now would only alert her that he was outside of his room, which would result in a punishment. His heart was racing, beating loudly in his chest, he was surprised the noise of it did not alert anyone to where he was.
What seemed like an eternity later, the door downstairs closed once more, and the remainder of the house fell silent yet again. When he was sure the coast was clear he proceeded with his mission. He gently opened the door to his brother's room, pushing it open allowing the warm light stream out into the darkness of the hall. He watched as it shone out, smirking as he realised the light was fighting the darkness.
'How apt' he thought to himself bitterly.
Opening the door fully, he quickly walked into his brother's room. Usually, it was off-limits to him, but he would rather risk pissing off his brother than his brother being at the receiving end of their mother's rage.
The pacing ceased when the door opened. His brother spun around, wide-eyed, staring at him. His face fell into a scowl.
'What are you doing in here, Reg?' he hissed, his voice low and venomous.
Regulus closed the door quietly behind him, turning to his brother, 'You need to stop with the pacing, Sirius… It's only a matter of time before mother or father hear and come up and make you stop.'
'Ha! Since when have you cared when mother or father shut me up,' he sneered, turning his back to the younger boy.
Regulus swallowed, he always cared, but he was so terrified, and his need to survive often outweighed his urge to defend his brother. He had learned at an early age, that any behaviour deemed unacceptable or lacking by his parents, resulted in a punishment.
He had never admitted it to his brother, but his parents had broken him when he was nine years old. When Sirius had left for Hogwarts and had been sorted into Gryffindor. They had taken their rage and repulsion for their oldest son, out on their youngest.
The scars from that had never healed, and it led to him being more compliant, more docile and controllable. Sirius had never noticed; instead, he chose to shut him out and isolate him further. He was a product of his environment, and he only truly felt like he could be some version of himself when he was at school.
Sirius was staring at him; he must have disappeared into his thoughts once again.
'Why are you pacing?' he asked quietly.
Sirius's demeanour shifted, 'None of your concern' he muttered.
Regulus looked around, he noticed that a lot of his brother's belongings were strewn on his bed, the rest of them were stuffed into his trunk.
'Why are you packing?' he asked, 'We don't go back to school for another month …'
Sirius turned his back and resumed packing his belongings back into the trunk, ignoring the question his brother had just ask.
The air became thick with a variety of emotions, confusion, resentment, anger and fear.
'You're leaving' said Regulus in a choked whisper, as he watched his brother throw his school clothes into his trunk. Sirius didn't answer him, he figured if he ignored Regulus, he would leave him alone.
'Why...' he trailed off, not trusting himself to finish his sentence.
Sirius shrugged, as he threw more clothes into his trunk, 'I can't stay here any longer, I'm going to stay with James.'
Silence fell between the two of them, both of them unsure how to continue.
'Don't leave me alone …' Regulus's voice broke as he said it, tears building in his eyes.
Sirius swung around, wide eyed.
'I – I can't stay here without you…' he said quietly staring at the floor, avoiding his brother's eyes.
'You will be fine without me; I'm the disappointment remember? You're the golden child' he said bitterly. There was no resentment towards his brother, it was all aimed at his parents, who had made his life a living hell.
Regulus's head shot up, looking his brother straight in the eyes. Sirius was taken aback by his brother's tear-stained face, the fear and hurt behind his eyes was haunting.
'I won't survive without you, Sirius' he whispered hoarsely, his voice heavy with emotion, 'Don't leave me behind… Please don't leave me alone with them.'
Sirius opened and closed his mouth, unable to form words. He never considered how his brother would cope in this hateful house when he left. He turned his back to his brother, the silence that fell between them was deafening.
'I'll come back for you Reg, I won't leave you here with them…' he whispered, turning back to face his brother.
'You promise?' Regulus's question was barely audible as it slipped out of his lips.
Sirius faced his brother; he could see the hope in his eyes. Pulling him into a hug, he whispered, 'I promise Reg… I promise.'
He let go of him, clasping the younger boy at the shoulders, looking into his eyes. He meant it; he would not leave Regulus here alone with those monsters, as soon as he could get him out, he would.
'You better get back to your room before that old bint comes knocking. Don't want to give her an excuse.' He said with a small smile.
Regulus's face lit up with happiness, his brother was getting out of the house, and he was going to come back and take him with him. He nodded excitedly, 'I'll be ready when you come back, I won't need to bring much with me' he muttered quietly as he made his way out of his brother's room.
Closing the door gently, he made his way back to his room, feeling lighter for the first time since he returned home for the holidays. He was finally going to be free; Sirius would save them both.
A week later, Sirius ran away in the middle of the night. The next morning Regulus was awoken to loud screaming and the sound of various objects being thrown around the house. Regulus gulped, he knew that he would have to face whatever was happening, and sooner rather than later would be better. He quickly got dressed and made his way down to the living room. There he found his mother screaming at the family tapestry, a rancid burning smell stung his nostrils. His mother was holding a crumpled letter in her hand. She turned to face her youngest son.
'Did you know about this?' she seethed, fury radiating off her. Regulus averted his eyes, staring at the floor.
'DID YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR TRAITOROUS MUGGLE LOVING BROTHER?!' she roared, spittle flying out of her mouth, her rage now suffocating the room.
Regulus flinched, 'No, mother' he said meekly.
'YOU WILL LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU' she screamed, her hand gripping tightly around her cane.
He looked up, but did not meet her eyes, he knew better than that.
'Did Sirius tell you where he was going?' she asked in a calm manner.
Regulus's heart dropped, he did not like this. The way she had calmed herself… it meant that things were about to get significantly worse for him.
'No, mother' he said quietly, trying to ignore the panic gripping him, every molecule in his being was screaming at him to run.
'I don't believe you' she spat, 'tell me where that pathetic waste of space is, or you will be punished!'
Regulus shook his head, he couldn't give up his brother, he was coming to rescue him once he was settled. They would both be free, but it only worked if he kept Sirius's location a secret.
'I don't know where he is mother, he didn't tell me -'
THWACK
In a split second, his mother had hoisted her cane up, swinging it at him. The golden serpent caught him on his left eye socket. She raised to hit him again, over and over hitting him on the left side of his face.
He could not see out of his left eye, he could feel the blood streaming down his face, pain shooting through him. He lay on the ground, unmoving. Moving would make it worse, moving would only prolong the pain.
Eventually the blows stopped, and she left the room; leaving Regulus alone on the floor, lying in a pool of his own blood. She would never come back to heal the wounds she inflicted, she would send Kreature to do it, but he could only do so much.
The physical wounds left a scar, but the mental and emotional anguish … it never faded, it was always their smouldering away, eating away at his soul.
Days passed, which turned into weeks, and still his brother had not returned for him. Regulus had given up hope, the regular beatings delivered unto him by the hands of his mother or father had succeeded in breaking him further. He no longer hoped for an out, he had come to terms with his fate, doomed to uphold the family values that he did not believe.
Regulus had made his way to Hogwarts, quietly sitting in the Slytherin carriage, when he caught sight of his reflection. Kreature had managed to heal the wounds to his face, but the scarring remained. A reminder, no doubt, of what his mother could do to him if he disappointed her.
No one batted an eyelid about the scar once he had told them he had fallen during Quidditch practice over the summer. Everyone would rather buy the easy excuse than open their eyes to the truth; but Regulus didn't care, he did not want anyone to know his truth, he could not be perceived as weak. The consequences of that should it get back to his mother … he shuddered at the thought.
At the feast that night, he could feel eyes on him, boring into the back of his head, and he knew it was his brother; but he would not give him the satisfaction of registering his attention. He was hurt and angry, he felt betrayed, lost and helpless. In his eyes, Sirius was as bad as his parents; he had abandoned him in a place full of cruelty and abuse, he had left him to fend for himself.
Walking back to the Slytherin common room, descending the steps into the cool, damp air of the dungeons, he walked along the dimly lit corridor. Its eeriness reminded him of the landing at home, sending a chill of dread down his spine, when he felt a hand grab his shoulder and pull him back.
'Reg…' whispered a voice, 'can we talk.?'
Silence fell between the two brothers, emotion hanging heavily in the air.
'We have nothing to talk about,' replied Regulus, his voice lifeless, monotonous in tone.
'Reg … please.. I need to explain.. I need you to understand…'
Regulus spun around, anger and hurt contorted his face, highlighting the angry red scar under his eye.
'Understand what, Sirius? There is nothing to understand.' He spat; his words tinged with venom.
'What happened your face Reg?' whispered Sirius in a horrified whisper.
'Actions have consequences, Sirius … you know that better than anyone' he whispered lowly.
Sirius looked at his brother, horrified, with a hint of shame and regret.
'Reg… I'm -'
'You promised you would come back for me…' said Regulus angrily, interrupting his brother before he had a chance to apologise. Apologies would not make this any better, apologies would not take away the hurt he had endured.
'I know, Reg, I -'
'I thought you were my brother…' he said bitterly, looking up at his brother with resentment. He could see how much happier and healthier Sirius looked since leaving Grimmauld Place.
'I am your brother, Reg,' Sirius said, almost pleadingly.
'You lied to me Sirius. You gave me hope. You're not my brother, my brother wouldn't leave me to rot in that place' he said.
He turned and walked off towards the common room, leaving Sirius alone in the darkness with his regret and shame. Regulus had accepted his fate, but he needed Sirius to realise that his actions had condemned him to the path he was now on. He had no choice, he never did.